Chapter 8
Christine sat Erik and Madeline down.
"We are going to sort this out like adults." She said firmly. "I want each of you to get everything out without interruption.
She looked from one to the other. Erik was slumped in his chair. Madeline was sat primly, looking aloof.
"Once everything is out, we are going to accept and acknowledge each others feelings and figure out a way of making it through the rest of the week without killing each other."
Erik snorted unceremoniously. Christine stood as there was a knock at the door.
"Ah, here's Nadir."
"What's he doing here?" Erik demanded."
"He's here to keep the peace." Christine said, opening the door. "Come in, Nadir, thanks for coming."
Nadir came in and took a look at the pair. He let out a whistle.
"Are you sure about this, Christine? This seems more like a job for Jerry Springer."
"He's not available; we'll have to make do." She said firmly. "And that stuff is totally made up anyway."
She and Nadir took seats and Christine looked at Madeline.
"Why don't you go first?"
"I don't understand why you would just fail to include me in the most important aspects of your life, Erik." Madeline said in a reproachful tone, watching her son. He was staring hard at the ceiling, unwilling to make eye contact. "I know you've always been independent but I'd like to at least be kept in the loop."
"That's fair." Nadir said and Christine nodded in agreement.
Erik gave them both a look that clearly said 'shut up or BE shut up.'
They shut up.
"And I also want to know why I wasn't invited to the wedding and why you lied about being a banker." Madeline said. "You just infuriate me with your inconsiderateness!"
"Mother-"
"Ah, ah, it's still Madeline's turn." Nadir said sternly. Erik ground his teeth but Nadir was already looking back at the elderly woman. "Carry on, Madeline."
"You always act as though I've done something to upset you but you never let me know what it is that I'm supposed to have done, so how can I possibly try and make it right?" Madeline said and promptly burst into tears, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
Christine patted her gently on the back. Nadir waited until Madeline had recovered slightly before turning to Erik.
"Erik, why don't you answer Madeline's questions?"
"I don't…" He began but the sight of his formidable mother in tears seemed to have unnerved him. He took a deep breath. "Alright. The reason that I didn't invite you to the wedding was… was because I didn't think you would approve of me marrying Christine."
They all stared at him in astonishment.
"And the same thing goes for lying about being a banker. You're a very… proper person and I live a very unusual sort of life and I didn't want you to be ashamed of me." He mumbled, going pink. Christine resisted the urge to go 'aww' at this confession. Madeline sniffed softly, watching him with a wobbling lip.
"The truth is, Mother… I have been told that I have issues with communication. I can see now that I haven't been very fair to you and I should have put more effort into our relationship." Erik said slowly, trying to choose his words in a way that would improve the situation without completely emasculating him.
There was a moment of silence in which Madeline sniffled appreciatively, Christine was reminded why she married Erik and Nadir felt positively sickened by the whole femininity of the ordeal.
"That was… very touching, Erik." Madeline admitted. Christine smiled sweetly at her husband, who instantly felt cheered. Nadir clapped his hands together.
"That was very good. But I think we should solidify this."
"What do you have in mind?"
"A contract. Both of you have to sign it and it'll mean that we never have to go through this again." Nadir said firmly.
I, the undersigned, solemnly swear that I shall contact my mother in all events that may concern her input and/or interest. Such events include marriage, change of occupation and production of children. If such an event occurs I shall contact my mother at the nearest convenient opportunity.
I, the undersigned, solemnly swear that I shall no longer force my opinions, ideals and principles upon my son and his family. I shall also comply with his wishes regarding states of occupation and marriage.
"That seems pretty fair." Christine said, reading over the contracts. Madeline and Erik both nodded and signed their contracts.
"There. All sorted." Madeline said in an efficient tone that suggested that she had been the one to come up with the whole idea.
Erik glanced at his watch.
"I don't suppose we're finished, are we?" He asked hopefully. Christine smiled.
"You can watch Buffy."
"Thank you!" He switched the television on. Madeline peered closely at the screen, having heard much about the slayer but not witnessed the show for herself.
"This is all a little far-fetched, isn't it?" She said at the first commercial break. Nadir looked at her blankly.
"Your son haunts an opera house and is a world-wide symbol. What's your point?"
Before Madeline could reply there was a knock at the door.
"Chinese delivery for Mr and Mrs O.G Phantom!" A voice called. Christine opened the door. A teenage girl with ginger hair that clashed with her uniform grinned at her.
"Hi! My name's Kirstie and I'm delivering-"
"We know your name." Christine said. Kirstie looked at her.
"How?"
"We met you in the last chapter of our pre-marital life story." Erik said. "I thought you worked for the pizza company."
Kirstie pouted.
"They fired me."
"Why?"
"I annoyed the customers apparently. As if I'm bothered. Here you go!" She handed over the bags of food. "Thank you for ordering for How Mein Food!"
"OK, bye now." Christine said, pushing her out of the door. Erik had picked up the telephone.
"What are you doing?" Nadir asked.
"I'm calling the Chinese food people. See if I can get her fired…"
"Erik, that's so nasty!" Madeline said in a shocked tone. Erik shrugged.
"I want to see what she'll end up delivering next. We can get an Indian next week."