Chapter 6: The pie-el driver

The ham hams were enjoying a thoroughly pretzel-free lunch. The only sounds came from their mouths as they chewed, munched and swallowed their seed and cheese sandwiches.

"I can't take the silence!" Boss suddenly yelled, dropping his sandwich, "It's too quiet without the little runt annoying us to death!" Several hams agreed, they would let him out of the closet for the desert that Panda made, ironically, blueberry pie. Panda asked Cappy to get it for him. Cappy found his way into Panda's room. Two pies lay on the floor. Cappy had no idea of which one to choose, but he didn't want to look like an idiot who couldn't find a pie, so he grabbed the one on the left and scurried back.

Pretzel was already sitting at the table and letting loose a steady chant of "pie pie pie pie". They decide to serve Pretzel first. Maxwell cut a tiny slice of pie, remembering the last time Pretzel had a sugar rush………...Flashback……………

"Stan, you really shouldn't put so much sugar in your tea." Sandy told him as Stan dumped spoon after spoon of sugar into his cup.

"Yeah, I know, but this tea stuff tastes awful and I don't want to offend Pepper, after all this is her tea party." Stan dropped the spoon and loaded what seemed to be the entire contents of the sugar bowl into his tea. "Much better" Stan said, sipping his tea, which was now more like liquid sugar. Unfortunately, Pretzel had been invited to the party too. They had to tape him into his chair, and he was now begging for some tea.

"Tea for me, tea for me tea for me." Pretzel sang.

"That's a very nice potholder, Pepper." Maxwell said. "By the look of the scorch marks, you got it from Italy?"

"Tea for me, tea for me, tea for me."

"Yes, I imported it from the Italian swamps of Larmengia." Pepper answered, trying her best to ignore Pretzel.

"Tea for me, tea for me, tea for me."

"How can you tell where it's from by the scorch marks, Max?" Dexter asked.

"Tea for me, tea for me, tea for me."

"Well it's a very simple process, you just…"

"TEA FOR ME, TEA FOR ME!"

"That's it!" Stan screamed at Pretzel. "You want tea? Well here ya go!" Before anyone could stop him, Stan thrust the contents of the tea cup onto Pretzel, leaving him drenched in hot tea, but very pleased. Pretzel licked his soaking paw, and the result was catastrophic.

Pretzel got a weird look in his eyes. He shot up into the air and bounced all around the room, knocking over tables and chairs. The hams tried to hide under the table, but it wasn't long before Pretzel knocked that over too. They cowered in the corner and awaited Pretzel to calm down. Eventually, he slowed and fell, sleeping onto the rug.

………………..End of flashback……………………………

Maxwell handed Pretzel a tiny piece of the pie, which was pulsating, unnoticed by any of the hams. Pretzel scarfed it down in one gulp. He began to tremble. Panda looked at the now throbbing pie and realized instantly what had happened.

"Cappy, you moron! You gave Pretzel the radioactive pie, not the blueberry one!" Panda yelped as Pretzel's stomach began to gurgle.

"Why in ham hell did you make radioactive pie?" Howdy asked.

"To go with the radioactive ice cream." Panda answered. Stan rolled his eyes.

"What's gonna happen to him?" Asked Pashmina as Pretzel swayed.

"Is he gonna grow really big?" Howdy suggested.

"No, he's gonna faint in 3, 2, 1…" Pretzel collapsed onto the floor.

"Now he'll grow really big." continued Panda. Suddenly, Pretzel began to swell. His pea sized paws inflated to baseballs. His tiny ears were now the size of dessert plates. Pretzel had swelled to the size of a watermelon when Panda found the antidote. He tipped the pintsized bottle into Pretzel's throat. (Being careful not to fall in) Pretzel stopped growing, but did not get any smaller.

"He'll be normal sized by tonight. Until then, deal with him." Panda said, climbing into his room.

Pretzel woke up and observed his new point of view. He watched the tiny cowering hamsters beneath him. Suddenly, he began to narrate himself.

"Born on planet sapphire 7 and raised by a family of Bulgarian space monkeys, I gained incredible super size and strength. I knew my purpose in life, to fight the evils of Dr. Catty and his kitty monsters. I am the Pie-el Driver. (Pile driver)

"What a moron." thought all the hams at once. Pretzel went off to fight crime or something, so the hams decided to follow him. He entered an ally full of large grey cats. Hamtaro and the gang stayed back, but Pretzel, being as big as the cats, went on ahead.

"Episode 69 chapter 4, Bye Dr. Catty! I slowly crept up on the cats, then, with lighting fast reflexes, I pounced on an unsuspecting minion. The kitty monster put up a good fight, but he was no match for me! I slammed the rest of the minions against the wall, where they lay motionless. Then I took on Dr. Catty himself. He swiped his mighty paw, but I swiftly dodged it. I took one manly swing, and knocked Dr. Catty right out of the solar system! Victory is mine!"

Pretzel did not notice that the entire time he was saying this; the hams were pulling him back to the clubhouse. The hams did not notice that Pretzel had shrunk down to his normal size. Pretzel was fine by the time they reached home. Panda was relieved to see that his antidote had worked, but he had uncovered some unfortunate news.

"The, erm, antidote may, um, have a few side effects." Panda told them. Suddenly, Pretzel shrunk down to the size of a raisin.

Sorry for the hang off! Read the next Chappie! Anyone who has suggestions on what Pretzel's sister's name should be, tell me soon! Thanx to captain deoxys, unigator and D. L. lion, who gave me the ideas for this chapter. More ideas would be appreciated. See ya next time!