And after such an overwhelming response to my story's opening (end sarcasm XP), I present episode 2 for your delectation.

As a little side note, I gave Robotnik an English accent as a small tribute to his original Western voiceover, Long John Baldry from the "Adventures of..." cartoon, who passed away over the summer. His booming vocals and the rrrrolling of his "R"s still make me smile to this day. Rock on, Johnny.

Anyways, on with our story.

EPISODE 2
"BREAKFAST AT VENGEANCE'S"

Morning had broken at Hazardous Heights Castle. Groggily, I shuffled down the main staircase in tartan slippers and a black dressing gown, eyelids still heavy and yawning wide enough to happily accommodate a tennis ball in my mouth.

On my way to the dining room, I was trying to remember the dream I'd had the night before. An unusual one at that. A homeless Ivo Robotnik had shown up on the doorstep looking for a place to stay and brought some of minions along with him, whom then began accidentally destroying the main hall. Everything else was a tired blur, but what he remembered was very vivid. Almost real...

Reaching the dining room, I swung open the door, but just as I crossed the threshold, I let out a horrified yell, dropped the copy of "Villainesque" magazine from under my arm.

Sitting at various places on the unnecessarily long table were Robotnik and his companions. The Doctor himself was sitting alone, already fully dressed and wolfing down several plates' worth of fried eggs (what else?). Scratch, Grounder and Coconuts sat next to each other, all three robots slurping on bowls of motor oil. Snively sat furthest away from anyone, nibbling a piece of toast in a rat-like manner.

No wonder the dream seemed real. It was real.

Suddenly, Snively's eyes swivelled upward and saw me framed in the doorway, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

"Ahhh, Sleeping Beauty finally awakens", he drawled in a bored voice, "I'm guessing you slept well, considering it's nearly 10:30."

I didn't answer and took a seat at the table. It was still a shock seeing my unusual new lodgers around the house, something I was going to have to get used to quickly.

"Ahh, Reggie!" Robotnik had finally taken a break from the eggs and greeted me with a merry wave. "Top nosh, by the way, I must say! Your robot's certainly done a bang-up job with these!"

"Yeah!" chipped in Grounder, "I haven't tasted oil this smooth since...well...ever!"

"You said it!" agreed Scratch, "It sure beats that cheap lumpy stuff we usually get." At which point, a fried egg flew across the room and splattered onto the iron chicken's face.

"There is nothing wrong with my oil!" Ivo snapped, "Robotnik-brand fuel cheap and provides adequate sustenance for your stupid cerebral circuits! Without it, you wouldn't even be operational as we speak!"

"But your maliciousness!" whined Coconuts, "It tastes like liquid socks and the smell sticks in my mouth for hours afterwards! Ooo! Ooo! And this one time, I found a dead beetle in one of the cans and - "

Cue an egg in the face for the monkeybot.

Grounder began laughing at his simian companion. Before getting egged in the kisser himself.

"Heeey! I didn't say anything!" he pouted.

"I know", snarled Ivo, "I just don't like that laugh of yours." Wishing to get out in case of a full-blown food fight arising, I felt it best to have my own breakfast as soon as possible.

"Criswell?" I called.

No reply.

"Criswell!"

Again, nothing.

"He's not here", Snively said lazily, "He left one he'd served us. Said something about picking up landmines for you at B&Q." I growled in frustration. The thought of making my own breakfast wasn't appealing, mainly due to a major lack of culinary skills. You're talking to a chap who managed to burn down his Home Economics classroom making a Caesar salad.

"Well, that's just dandy", I grunted and started making my way across the room to the kitchen door, "If you want something done..."

"No need for that, Reggie", said Robotnik and took hold of my arm on my way past him, "Seeing as how you've taken us in and whatnot, I thought it would be nice to let Metal Sonic do your breakfast for you. Just our way of saying thanks, you know."

"...ah", I replied simply, unsure how to take this, "...is he a good chef?"

"He could be", Ivo replied. My eyes widened. Wrong answer, Doc.

"Could be"

"Look, Metal Sonic is one of the most highly advanced and intelligent robots in the entire world", Robotnik reasoned, "I'm certain a bionic brain such as his can slap up a half-decent meal."

With perfect timing, smoke began seeping out of the kitchen door.

"Great Graham Chapman!" I exclaimed and sprinted across the dining room to the source of the pollution.

Entering the kitchen was like entering a forest fire. The whole place was engulfing in thick black smoke, the smell of burning wood entering my nostrils from the work surfaces as the flames spread across them. Now launched in a coughing fit, I could just about make out Metal Sonic approaching through the darkened clouds.

"Greetings, Professor. Everything is under control", he said, in a voice that reminded one vividly of a little computer named HAL, and as he got closer, the smoke around him began to get blown aside. It was then I noticed that his steel hands had currently been replaced with small electric fans.

"W-what the - " I began, but never got to finish. Metal Sonic's right hand had changed to a hosepipe function and I was immediately knocked down by a blast of water to the chest.

It took me a few moments to regain my bearings. Nearly all the smoke had been cleared away by then and I could properly survey the damage done by that metallic maniac. An enormous pile of burnt toast sat to my right, while a mountain of Cornflakes stood to the left. The microwave had exploded, blasting a full tin of baked beans onto the opposite wall. The remains of crushed sausages and bacon lay scattered across the floor and there in the middle of it all was Metal Sonic, covered from head to foot in a mix of jam and marmalade.

"Hazard neutralised", he said calmly as his hose hands doused the last flames, "Situation: normal."

Normal? A psychotic android just set my kitchen ablaze, spread a great chunk of my food supplies all over the place and drenched my best dressing gown! If that was normal, then I didn't want to think about what abnormal was like! I was just about to tell him this when I heard a frantic cry from a certain chicken back in the dining room.

"Don't worry, Professor! We're coming!"

At once, Scratch, Grounder and Coconuts stormed into the kitchen with a bucket of water in each hand.

"No! Wait!" I cried, "It's out! Don't d-"

SPLASH!

Three buckets of water. All over me.

A long silence filled the room, save for the drip, drip of water from the end of my nose. Lunatics for lodgers, kitchen nigh on destroyed and now, I was drenched in freezing cold H20.

An iffy start to the day, to put it mildly.

Looking utterly livid, my gaze fell upon the four robots. Metal Sonic slunk away to one side, leaving the remaining trio to quiver as I began towering over them.

"...um..." One of Grounder's extendable hands grabbed a piece of charred bread and feebly offered it to me. "...toast?"

I gave him a sadistic smile and slowly reached for the nearest and largest saucepan. "I know you are, but what am I?"

Let's just say the kitchen didn't get any cleaner and call it a day, huh?

TO BE CONTINUED...

And so life with the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad begins! Hope you enjoyed and look forward to some feedback on my progress.