Here's Chapter 7. It turned out to have more than I thought it would,
so the party will have to wait until next time. Sorry, n8.
Speaking of n8, thanks for the reviews. The same goes for JESS and Dramagirl310. J.T., you caught my drift, although it hadn't occurred to me that Helga knew Brainy loves her. It makes sense, though. Houkanno Yuuhou, you have a point there. And a big arigato for your help with the Japanese. And yes, I knew that. Starry Nights, that was my intention. Everyone, please r&r. Thank y'all.
Hey Arnold! is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Craig Bartlett, Snee-Oosh, & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.
Lila sat in her seat on the bus, going over the sheet of paper she'd gotten from Brainy. When he'd mentioned others who might know "the secret", he'd also displayed these collections of factoids, one for each suspect with the reasons thereto outlined. He then supplied her and Phoebe with their own copies.
It took her five minutes to familiarize herself with Brainy's reasons for suspecting that Rhonda knew. That done, she settled back in her seat and waited for Rhonda's stop.
As she waited, the events of the day continued to plague her mind. Brainy loved Helga, but he was willing to sacrifice his chance at happiness to get Helga with Arnold. He even lobbied her (Lila), successfully, to give Arnold the final heave-ho. Such nobility, it boggled the mind.
She was shaken out of her reverie when the bus came to a stop, and she noticed Rhonda and Nadine moving toward the doors; she left her seat and fell in behind them.
This might well be worth a look from the curious, as it wasn't her usual stop by any means; and she wondered if anyone would notice. No one did, which when she considered the matter was no surprise. The day had to her been a glittering testament to the denseness of people in general.
But Rhonda had noticed. She turned around to face Lila by the time the latter had reached the ground and the bus had left her behind.
"Lila, what are you doing here? This isn't your stop."
"Well, I'm ever so certain that there's a matter I needed to talk with you about. I wondered if I could have a moment of your time?"
"Hmm. Well, why not? Come on then."
And so Lila followed on, falling in step behind Rhonda along with Nadine, who regarded her with not a little curiosity. Lila didn't return the gaze.
Something fell from Rhonda. Before Nadine could, Lila picked it up. "Rhonda, you dropped this..." Her voice trailed off as her gaze fell on what appeared to be a book of tickets. As Rhonda accepted it, she could see the questions in Lila's eyes.
"What, you thought I was kidding about being with the Fashion Police?"
And with that, they resumed walking. Not another word was said.
As they walked through Rhonda's front door, Lila noticed the building. From the front, it looked like any other apartment building on the street, this one in red brick. Only this "apartment building" belonged to one family, the Lloyd's. It didn't have the acreage of your typical mansion, but it did have the square footage, redistributed over the many floors. The back was quite different from the other buildings; it looked out over the rich part of town. Equipped with a verandah, a staircase leading downward to a garden, and any other amenity the owners and decorators could think of; it was truly a testament to the intelligent and aesthetically-based application of wealth.
Nadine excused herself to go upstairs, as Rhonda escorted Lila through the house to the verandah.
"I hadn't noticed before how ever so nice this house is, Rhonda."
A smug self-satisfied smile came to Rhonda's face in acknowledgment of Lila's compliment. "Thank you. Can you believe Peapod's dad wanted to turn the place into condos?" It was a rhetorical question, the type that needed no answer, so Lila offered none.
Having exited the rear of the house, Rhonda offered Lila a seat at the small table to one side of the sliding glass doors, then seated herself.
Lila began the conversation; apparently, she had taken notes from Brainy's conversational style of that day. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything, like the group project?"
Rhonda frowned on being reminded of that. "First, would I be able to tell you if you were? And second, do you see Sid around here, who is on the project with Nadine and me as you know?"
"No, and no. So does that mean yes?"
"What?"
"Well, I'm ever so certain that was a double negative, which would mean a positive."
Rhonda rolled her eyes. "Fine time to start applying Math and English classes to life. To answer your question, no, which would make three negatives, which still means no. So are you going to get to why you're here?"
Lila giggled nervously. "I'm ever so sorry about that, but after what I've been through today I needed a laugh."
"The project?" Rhonda asked sympathetically.
"Y-yes," Lila answered after a few split seconds of contemplation; after all, Brainy's actions were connected with the project.
Rhonda nodded. "Yeah, I've noticed it's getting to all of us; even Helga and Harold were quiet on the bus. I wouldn't have expected Simmons to dump something like this in our laps."
"Well, I'm oh so certain that Nadine will have a good idea or two."
"Yeah, and since Helga's in the same group with Arnold, again, she has it made this time. So what's on your mind?"
"Well, it's interesting that you would mention Arnold; actually, this is about him."
"You changed your mind about him again?"
"Um, no."
"You're sure? You know, I was always on your side when it came to him."
"No. I've never been more certain that I only like him, not like him like him."
"Pity. You two were the perfect couple, while you lasted."
"Well, thank you." Lila hesitated, then plowed ahead with what she had to do.
"I was thinking about something that happened a couple of years ago. Do you remember that paper marriage game you had?"
Chuckles came to Rhonda's mouth at that particular memory. "That old thing? Oh, man, it's been so many months since I even thought about it! What, did you change your mind about playing it?"
"Well, no." "Good; I hope you didn't take it seriously. It's just a game; I wrote everything on that piece of paper, ran the whole thing myself. I even said the next day that all results were null and void."
"No, it's not that. I was just curious as to why you rigged it to have Arnold end up with Helga no matter what he picked."
Rhonda laughed again, an actual belly laugh, holding her stomach and everything. "Oh, hoho, I didn't think anyone would ever ask me about that!" A fresh round of giggles and guffaws ensued; Lila waited patiently for the paroxysms to end. It was actually quite interesting to see Rhonda in this frame of mood; it was the happiest she'd ever seen her. Finally, Rhonda settled down enough to attempt an answer. She leaned over the table as if to impart a secret of a level akin to national security. A finger beckoned Lila until her face was inches from Rhonda's. "Can you keep a secret?"
"Better than you can."
"We'll see. Well, the thing is," Here Rhonda did one of those last second checks people always do just before telling something they shouldn't even know. When her head returned to its former position she opened her mouth and the words came out in a whisper. "I just happen to know that Helga has this huge crush on Arnold."
Lila's mouth fell onto the table, so to speak. When she composed herself, she proceeded to put Rhonda through the wringer, so to speak. Or that's what it would have been called if the questioner hadn't been ever so nice and sweet. "What makes you think this?"
"Oh, girl, I know it; there's no doubt about it. Do you remember the Romeo & Juliet play?"
Lila nodded.
"That's when I started to put the pieces together. You remember that you and I tried out for Juliet, as did Sheena and Phoebe."
Another nod.
"Well, if you'll remember Helga wasn't interested in the play in the slightest. It wasn't until after the roles were assigned that she was so on fire to be Juliet. Do you remember what happened just before that?"
This time Lila's head shook no.
"Simmons got Arnold to play Romeo. Next thing you know, Helga wanted to be Juliet."
"Well, couldn't that have been just a coincidence?"
"It could have been; I wouldn't have thought anything of it if it hadn't been for all the things that happened afterward. Here's the setup: I have the role, after that the order of understudies is Sheena, Phoebe, you, and last, Helga. Four others in between her and getting the role. Impossible, right?"
nod
"Well, never say 'impossible' when Helga Pataki's involved. The first thing that I hear after getting the role was that she was the costume designer. That night she shows up here with the ugliest excuse for a garment I have ever seen! It was, oh, I can't even begin to describe it, it's like a tornado was set loose in a room full of quilting scraps, which were then vomited on! Imagine my chagrin when she told me I was to wear it in the play, in front of everyone! Well! There was no way I was even going to get close to that hideous monstrosity! And then Helga started handing me this line that Simmons had made it himself, that he had his heart set on Juliet wearing it, and on and on. It was where the only way I could get out of it was to either tell Simmons to his face that the dress he'd made really bit as Stinky would say, or drop out of the play."
"So you chose to drop out."
"You weren't here when we gave Simmons the treatment; seeing him cry is not a pretty sight."
"Wait a minute; I remember when you dropped out. You said you were doing it for religious reasons."
"I wasn't lying. Style and fashion is my religion. My Holy Trinity is Yves St. Laurent, Coco Chanel, and Christian Dior. You see, for me, the sight of that dress was the equivalent of that crucifix in urine. And to even think about wearing it would be utter sacrilege, bleh! it's blasphemy just talking about it!"
"So you dropped out. Which meant Sheena got the part."
"And she didn't last an hour. As soon as I dropped out, I tried to see her. Eugene told me that Helga had come into the dressing room and shooed him out. And before my eyes, the door opened, and out Sheena came, white as a sheet; the next day she dropped out. The kicker was when I heard that Helga had resigned as costume designer and Sheena took that job, starting with Juliet's dress! So much for not wanting to hurt Mr. Simmons, huh?"
"So the next one to get it was Phoebe."
"Right, her best friend. Helga probably had no problem there; she can talk Phoebe into pretty much anything, or haven't you noticed."
"Yes, I'd noticed."
"So she opts to be the stage manager. Which brings us to you. How did Helga get you to step aside anyway?"
Memories of Helga's confession washed over her for the second time that day, along with thoughts of strangulation. "Well, I promised not to tell."
"I see; she scared it out of you, huh?"
"I, I'm ever so certain I'm not at liberty to say."
"No doubt she threatened to stick a tree in your ear or something, like that girl in that Christmas play."
"What?"
"Never mind. Anyway, for whatever reason, you too step aside, which means that Helga has it all to herself."
"And according to your theory, she did it to..."
"To get to kiss Arnold of course!"
"You're certain?"
"I wasn't, until the time came for, The Kiss. And what a kiss! We were all, well, you were there, in the seat behind me, you saw it."
"Yes."
"It even brought that critic Leichliter to tears, and a school play does not do that, not to a jaded critic who's seen it all. And then there was the length of that kiss. Sid timed it; he said it lasted 15 whole seconds! If that was just acting, Helga should definitely take up acting as a career, because I could feel the heat all the way up in the audience."
Lila didn't let it show, but she was deflated. Rhonda had made a knock-down argument, as they used to say, a lead pipe cinch. She couldn't deny any of it, even if she hadn't known that the thrust of Rhonda's argument was indeed the case. But one thing still puzzled her.
"Um, Rhonda, if you knew of Helga's feelings for Arnold all this time, why haven't you told anyone?"
"What, and miss the best show in town? You just haven't noticed all the lengths Helga goes to to either tell him or keep it a secret or both; it's hilarious! Better than any movie."
"So you have no intention of telling?"
"Oh, no, it's too much fun watching the Helga and Arnold show. I might spice things up now and then --- like that game you mentioned, or that time she got amnesia and I took the opportunity to flirt with him right in front of her --- but let it out? No, not any time soon. That party of mine she came to dressed as you? That alone was worth keeping the secret. Oh, by the way, she's jealous of you."
"Oh, I, I'm ever so flattered, I think."
"No kidding, you'll have to watch what's going on sometime. It's just like watching 'Yo Ernest!', except there's no one here like that shallow fashion maven Rita."
The irony of that statement was lost on Lila, who was not really a 'Yo Ernest!' fan. "Well, you answered all of my questions. I suppose I should be on my way."
"Oh, there's no need to go so soon."
"No, really, I have to get ready for Arnold's birthday party."
"Oh yeah. Have you gotten your present for him yet?"
"No, but I know exactly what it is."
"Well, there's that at least."
"And you need to get upstairs. I'm sure Nadine--"
"Oh yeah. I'd forgotten."
"Not something you want to do to your best friend."
"Right. Well, can you see yourself out?"
"I'm ever so certain I can."
So ended the conversation on the verandah. Rhonda ran upstairs while Lila retraced her steps through the Lloyd "mansion" and on out to the street.
She continued home on foot. She would have done that even if she hadn't had a stop to make on the way; she had a lot to think about. That stop was Gamma-Lot Records, where she made a purchase. That done, she walked the remaining blocks, to the building where she lived, in utter silence; the events of the day made things sufficiently loud inside her head without any contributions from the exterior. With Rhonda's bombshell on top of the many Brainy had visited on her, she found herself wondering how it was she was still in her right mind. Brainy, intelligent, and with a quixotic streak yet? Rhonda, refusing to gossip, albeit for her own twisted reasons? As she approached her residence, she shook her head to clear it of the day's events; her gaze fell on the sack in her hand and the contents thereof. She was reminded of what she had to do, tomorrow and the next day. Back in her room, she emptied the sack and held up the contents thereof.
"I just hope he doesn't hate it after Sunday."
Meanwhile, Phoebe's day was continuing, for lack of another word to describe it. As she sat on the bus, next to Helga, only part of her mind was functioning. Distantly, she heard discussion of a group project meeting.
"So where should we meet to discuss it?"
"Not at my house, unless you want to risk run-ins with my brother & sister, enough said?"
"And there's no way anything's getting done at my house with Ol-ga there."
"So I guess it's the boarding house."
"Looks like, my man."
"Okkay then, we'll all get off there."
The conversation faded at that point; Phoebe's mind was not on it, or on anything for that matter.
Before that day, her thoughts had been mostly on Helga, Gerald, & her studies, not necessarily in that order. Now her thoughts... it was like her brain was trying to play ping-pong in a cold cream-of-wheat sea. Nothing made sense anymore. She was getting along with Lila, Brainy had a brain and a voice, the secret was out, Lila knew, Brainy knew, Patty knew, Rhonda maybe knew, Lila would help, Brainy loved Helga like Helga loved Arnold, what next?
"So, guess we'll have to wait on that other thing, huh Arnold?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
Huh? What were Gerald and Arnold talking about? (and why was she only paying attention now?) She looked to her side, where Helga was staring out the window, or writing in a little pink book; it was a toss-up. Then a peek at the seat ahead. There it was, spread out on Arnold's lap.
Who wrote the Little Pink Book?
WHAT?!?!? sigh, she had to ask.
"SOB!" Her head crashed down on her crossed arms.
"Phoebe?"
Her head went back up, eyes locking with another pair of eyes. A concerned pair of eyes. And they were neither blue nor green.
"Gerald?"
"Are you all right?"
"umm, well..."
"Project blues?"
"mm-hmm", she managed to whimper.
"Aw, man! We gotta have a word with Simmons next time we see him. Hey Arnold, would you mind switching seats with Phoebe?"
"Uh, okkay Gerald."
She felt Gerald's arms around her, guiding her out of her seat. Then she was up, Arnold sliding past her. A little movement, and she was again sitting, in a different seat.
"Hey Helga, do you have any idea of what's bugging Phoebe?"
"Uh,... hmm?"
She was conscious of Gerald hugging her, and then the tenuous link between her mind and the outside world again disconnected.
Again, her thoughts were water polo ponies in a lake of porridge. And part of her knew that made no sense whatsoever; that was the point.
She was being guided again, into a familiar house, her house. Gerald was still there, guiding her.
"Phoebe? What happened?"
"I don't know, Mrs. Heyerdahl. We all got this project for summer dumped on us today, and I guess she's taking it a bit hard."
"Oh dear. Gotta get you to bed right away; a good nap will probably settle things. Thanks for bringing her home, Gerald."
"You're welcome", she faintly hears; now her mother is guiding her, to her room, to her bed, on to the bed.
"Sleep well, Phoebe. Feel better now, y'hear?"
Lips on her forehead. A warm hand on her forehead, brushing aside stray hairs, removing her glasses, which clatter on the end table by her bed, footsteps. Lights out, more footsteps. A door closes. The footsteps, now muffled, fade.
Darkness.
Sleep. Blissful sleep, yes, it will settle all of the things her mind is having trouble reconciling. Sleep....
Eyes open to darkness, to a dark room, her room. A hand snakes out from under the covers; where are those glasses? Ah! There's the familiar hard, cool feel of glass and framework. Soon, they're on her face, she can see better. But not much; it's the light, or lack thereof. It's, it's, it's not dark, but it's evening. Where's that clock? Ah! Almost 5:00, still time to, to...
She sinks onto the bed. Was it all a dream?
Wait, where's her things from school. She walks to her desk, turns on the lamp. There they are. Hands rummage through the papers, looking, looking...
There.
"Pay It On Ahead to the Front" So that much was real.
Another paper.
"Obstacles to be removed in order to bring Arnold and Helga together" So that was real.
And another one, outlining reasons why Coach Wittenberg female might know The Secret.
It was real, then, all of it. It must have been; there was the proof in her hands. She couldn't make up stuff like this; she was no writer --- she'd proven that during that poetry contest. It must be. Brainy & Lila knew, they were going to help her help Helga with her family, with Arnold. And Brainy was in love with Helga.
Another look at the clock. 5:00 straight up now. It was getting too dark to go traveling through town, but she could find out what she needed to know by phone.
To the door, hand on the knob, twist, through the door...
"Phoebe?"
ulp! "Yes, Father?"
"Phoebe, how are you? Your mother said you were barely conscious when you came in from school."
"I'm, fine, Father. I just needed a nap; I'm fine now."
"Phoebe?" The other parent. "Oh, Phoebe, you look much better now. I knew it; all you needed was an hour or so of sleep. Nothing like sleep to settle the mind and the nerves. Are you going to be up to having supper with us?"
"Yes, Mother. I just need to call someone first."
"All right." Another kiss on the forehead. "Just remember to wash up as soon as you make your call."
"Yes, Mother."
Strong hands grasp her arms lovingly. She looks into a wise, kind, trusted face. "Daijoba desuka, aishite amasu."
A weak smile. "Arigato."
Hug.
He leaves the room, as had the other parent a moment earlier.
To the phone.
Phone book, under "W". Let's see, Wilkins, Williams, turn the page. Williamson, Wilson, Winfield, Wise, Witchard, Withem, Withers, Witherspoon, Wittmer, Witt, Witten, Wittenauer, ah! There we are; Wittenberg, Jack & Wittenberg, Tish. Hmm, two entries for the same phone number; well, guess it's a mark of them both being competitive.
Lift the receiver, punch the buttons, wait.
ring ring ring click
"Hello?" a young male voice says.
"Hello. I'm calling for Coach Wittenberg."
"Male or female?"
"Female."
"Just a minute."
a minute
"Hello?"
"Coach Wittenberg?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"Phoebe Heyerdahl. Was that your son I just talked with?"
"Yes, that was Tucker."
"Hmm. I've heard of him, but I've never seen him around school."
"He goes to boarding school, in Arizona, for his health. But the Coach & I have our jobs here --- well, I do more than he does --- and we're not finding any openings there. Concertedly, we and our son have to live apart from each other. Wait a minute, why am I telling you all this? You just called me on the phone and I've never met you before."
"Well, you would know my best friend, Helga Pataki."
"Oh, you're Helga's friend."
"Yes. That time you married the Coach--"
"Which time?"
"The second."
"Oh, of course; the first was probably before your time."
"Yes. You might have seen me there next to Helga, watching the air hockey match?"
"Hmm, wait, shorter than Helga, quiet, dark hair, glasses, Asiatic features, yellow scrunchie, kind of a blue gray ensemble?"
"That's me."
"Yeah, I remember you. You ever been on any of my teams?"
"Um, well, no."
"Why not?"
"Well, I'm not really the athletic type."
"Oh, come on, there must be something athletic you do well."
"Well, I've been fencing for years."
"Fencing, huh? Well, I don't know anything about it, but that never stopped the Coach. But I don't think you called just to give me suffusions as to possible future coaching endeavors."
"Oh, sorry. I was just wondering why you chose Helga to be your maid of honor."
"Like I told her, she was captain of my bowling team, and my cousin Carnie was out of town."
"Did it have something to do with Arnold being the Coach's best man?"
"Ah, Arnold. Y'know, he's the best thing to ever happen to the Coach. If there was an Arnold on every team he ever coached, his teams would be unflappable. They would be juggernauts, comprehensively, and abhorrently. And yeah, I did think it would look cute, the two of them walking down the aisle together. I think Helga kinda has a thing for him."
"Really?"
"Well, I'm not sure, but I was the same way when I was her age."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I really liked the Coach, but I was too shy to let him know it, so I covered it up by teasing him, picking on him, goofing on him every chance I got, you know?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Yeah, and I've seen her doing the same thing to that Arnold kid. If you ask me they'd be great together. If she'd only let herself she'd feel all goofy over him, just like I feel goofy over the Coach."
"I see."
"Is that what you wanted to know?"
"Um, yeah."
"Why?"
"Um, it's part of a group project, and I can't say any more about it than that."
"Oh, um, well, I hope I was able to help you."
"Oh, you were, you were."
"That's good. Hey, sometime why don't you call back and tell me what this was all about?"
"I, I'll think about it, Coach."
"Okkay, you take care of yourself. And keep up that fencing; everyone needs something to keep 'em busy, y'know?"
"Right. I'll do that. Good-bye, Coach."
"Good-bye Phoebe."
click
Well, that's done. Time to start thinking about Arnold's birthday tomorrow. Not that she hadn't before; she already had his present wrapped. It's appropriate, but knowing Arnold, he won't get the point. He's so dense. Oh well, her best friend loves him, and she likes his best friend. Could it be like-like? Hmm...
"Phoebe, supper time."
"Coming, mother."
And it was off to the bathroom to wash her hands, then to the dining room. After supper, she'd call Helga, who had also been a bit out of sorts on the bus. Then to bed, and tomorrow, the party.
translations: daijoba desuka, aishite amasu --- I love you, you're all right
" arigato --- thank you
Again, thank you, Houkanno Yuuhou.
Well, that left me pretty much wiped; but no fear. I will have Chapter 8 up before the end of the week, I think. What happened in this chapter is bizarre now that I look back on it. I had intended for Rhonda to know and to explain how she knows and why she doesn't tell to Lila, and maybe to Phoebe; but as for the other part, well... I hadn't planned to write that part, but after Phoebe's breakdown in Chapter 6 I had to try to tie off that loose end, and one thing led to another, and next thing I knew, I had a searing look inside her mind. Currently I am planning something similar for Lila, which came about because of this. That'll be in a few chapters and will take place on Sunday (man, these days go by at a snail's pace, don't they?). Anyway, the party's next. Please r&r. I'm Nftnat. On e-mail I'm nftnataol.com On IM I'm Nftnat. Cy'all around.
Speaking of n8, thanks for the reviews. The same goes for JESS and Dramagirl310. J.T., you caught my drift, although it hadn't occurred to me that Helga knew Brainy loves her. It makes sense, though. Houkanno Yuuhou, you have a point there. And a big arigato for your help with the Japanese. And yes, I knew that. Starry Nights, that was my intention. Everyone, please r&r. Thank y'all.
Hey Arnold! is created, owned, & / or copyrighted by Craig Bartlett, Snee-Oosh, & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom.
Lila sat in her seat on the bus, going over the sheet of paper she'd gotten from Brainy. When he'd mentioned others who might know "the secret", he'd also displayed these collections of factoids, one for each suspect with the reasons thereto outlined. He then supplied her and Phoebe with their own copies.
It took her five minutes to familiarize herself with Brainy's reasons for suspecting that Rhonda knew. That done, she settled back in her seat and waited for Rhonda's stop.
As she waited, the events of the day continued to plague her mind. Brainy loved Helga, but he was willing to sacrifice his chance at happiness to get Helga with Arnold. He even lobbied her (Lila), successfully, to give Arnold the final heave-ho. Such nobility, it boggled the mind.
She was shaken out of her reverie when the bus came to a stop, and she noticed Rhonda and Nadine moving toward the doors; she left her seat and fell in behind them.
This might well be worth a look from the curious, as it wasn't her usual stop by any means; and she wondered if anyone would notice. No one did, which when she considered the matter was no surprise. The day had to her been a glittering testament to the denseness of people in general.
But Rhonda had noticed. She turned around to face Lila by the time the latter had reached the ground and the bus had left her behind.
"Lila, what are you doing here? This isn't your stop."
"Well, I'm ever so certain that there's a matter I needed to talk with you about. I wondered if I could have a moment of your time?"
"Hmm. Well, why not? Come on then."
And so Lila followed on, falling in step behind Rhonda along with Nadine, who regarded her with not a little curiosity. Lila didn't return the gaze.
Something fell from Rhonda. Before Nadine could, Lila picked it up. "Rhonda, you dropped this..." Her voice trailed off as her gaze fell on what appeared to be a book of tickets. As Rhonda accepted it, she could see the questions in Lila's eyes.
"What, you thought I was kidding about being with the Fashion Police?"
And with that, they resumed walking. Not another word was said.
As they walked through Rhonda's front door, Lila noticed the building. From the front, it looked like any other apartment building on the street, this one in red brick. Only this "apartment building" belonged to one family, the Lloyd's. It didn't have the acreage of your typical mansion, but it did have the square footage, redistributed over the many floors. The back was quite different from the other buildings; it looked out over the rich part of town. Equipped with a verandah, a staircase leading downward to a garden, and any other amenity the owners and decorators could think of; it was truly a testament to the intelligent and aesthetically-based application of wealth.
Nadine excused herself to go upstairs, as Rhonda escorted Lila through the house to the verandah.
"I hadn't noticed before how ever so nice this house is, Rhonda."
A smug self-satisfied smile came to Rhonda's face in acknowledgment of Lila's compliment. "Thank you. Can you believe Peapod's dad wanted to turn the place into condos?" It was a rhetorical question, the type that needed no answer, so Lila offered none.
Having exited the rear of the house, Rhonda offered Lila a seat at the small table to one side of the sliding glass doors, then seated herself.
Lila began the conversation; apparently, she had taken notes from Brainy's conversational style of that day. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything, like the group project?"
Rhonda frowned on being reminded of that. "First, would I be able to tell you if you were? And second, do you see Sid around here, who is on the project with Nadine and me as you know?"
"No, and no. So does that mean yes?"
"What?"
"Well, I'm ever so certain that was a double negative, which would mean a positive."
Rhonda rolled her eyes. "Fine time to start applying Math and English classes to life. To answer your question, no, which would make three negatives, which still means no. So are you going to get to why you're here?"
Lila giggled nervously. "I'm ever so sorry about that, but after what I've been through today I needed a laugh."
"The project?" Rhonda asked sympathetically.
"Y-yes," Lila answered after a few split seconds of contemplation; after all, Brainy's actions were connected with the project.
Rhonda nodded. "Yeah, I've noticed it's getting to all of us; even Helga and Harold were quiet on the bus. I wouldn't have expected Simmons to dump something like this in our laps."
"Well, I'm oh so certain that Nadine will have a good idea or two."
"Yeah, and since Helga's in the same group with Arnold, again, she has it made this time. So what's on your mind?"
"Well, it's interesting that you would mention Arnold; actually, this is about him."
"You changed your mind about him again?"
"Um, no."
"You're sure? You know, I was always on your side when it came to him."
"No. I've never been more certain that I only like him, not like him like him."
"Pity. You two were the perfect couple, while you lasted."
"Well, thank you." Lila hesitated, then plowed ahead with what she had to do.
"I was thinking about something that happened a couple of years ago. Do you remember that paper marriage game you had?"
Chuckles came to Rhonda's mouth at that particular memory. "That old thing? Oh, man, it's been so many months since I even thought about it! What, did you change your mind about playing it?"
"Well, no." "Good; I hope you didn't take it seriously. It's just a game; I wrote everything on that piece of paper, ran the whole thing myself. I even said the next day that all results were null and void."
"No, it's not that. I was just curious as to why you rigged it to have Arnold end up with Helga no matter what he picked."
Rhonda laughed again, an actual belly laugh, holding her stomach and everything. "Oh, hoho, I didn't think anyone would ever ask me about that!" A fresh round of giggles and guffaws ensued; Lila waited patiently for the paroxysms to end. It was actually quite interesting to see Rhonda in this frame of mood; it was the happiest she'd ever seen her. Finally, Rhonda settled down enough to attempt an answer. She leaned over the table as if to impart a secret of a level akin to national security. A finger beckoned Lila until her face was inches from Rhonda's. "Can you keep a secret?"
"Better than you can."
"We'll see. Well, the thing is," Here Rhonda did one of those last second checks people always do just before telling something they shouldn't even know. When her head returned to its former position she opened her mouth and the words came out in a whisper. "I just happen to know that Helga has this huge crush on Arnold."
Lila's mouth fell onto the table, so to speak. When she composed herself, she proceeded to put Rhonda through the wringer, so to speak. Or that's what it would have been called if the questioner hadn't been ever so nice and sweet. "What makes you think this?"
"Oh, girl, I know it; there's no doubt about it. Do you remember the Romeo & Juliet play?"
Lila nodded.
"That's when I started to put the pieces together. You remember that you and I tried out for Juliet, as did Sheena and Phoebe."
Another nod.
"Well, if you'll remember Helga wasn't interested in the play in the slightest. It wasn't until after the roles were assigned that she was so on fire to be Juliet. Do you remember what happened just before that?"
This time Lila's head shook no.
"Simmons got Arnold to play Romeo. Next thing you know, Helga wanted to be Juliet."
"Well, couldn't that have been just a coincidence?"
"It could have been; I wouldn't have thought anything of it if it hadn't been for all the things that happened afterward. Here's the setup: I have the role, after that the order of understudies is Sheena, Phoebe, you, and last, Helga. Four others in between her and getting the role. Impossible, right?"
nod
"Well, never say 'impossible' when Helga Pataki's involved. The first thing that I hear after getting the role was that she was the costume designer. That night she shows up here with the ugliest excuse for a garment I have ever seen! It was, oh, I can't even begin to describe it, it's like a tornado was set loose in a room full of quilting scraps, which were then vomited on! Imagine my chagrin when she told me I was to wear it in the play, in front of everyone! Well! There was no way I was even going to get close to that hideous monstrosity! And then Helga started handing me this line that Simmons had made it himself, that he had his heart set on Juliet wearing it, and on and on. It was where the only way I could get out of it was to either tell Simmons to his face that the dress he'd made really bit as Stinky would say, or drop out of the play."
"So you chose to drop out."
"You weren't here when we gave Simmons the treatment; seeing him cry is not a pretty sight."
"Wait a minute; I remember when you dropped out. You said you were doing it for religious reasons."
"I wasn't lying. Style and fashion is my religion. My Holy Trinity is Yves St. Laurent, Coco Chanel, and Christian Dior. You see, for me, the sight of that dress was the equivalent of that crucifix in urine. And to even think about wearing it would be utter sacrilege, bleh! it's blasphemy just talking about it!"
"So you dropped out. Which meant Sheena got the part."
"And she didn't last an hour. As soon as I dropped out, I tried to see her. Eugene told me that Helga had come into the dressing room and shooed him out. And before my eyes, the door opened, and out Sheena came, white as a sheet; the next day she dropped out. The kicker was when I heard that Helga had resigned as costume designer and Sheena took that job, starting with Juliet's dress! So much for not wanting to hurt Mr. Simmons, huh?"
"So the next one to get it was Phoebe."
"Right, her best friend. Helga probably had no problem there; she can talk Phoebe into pretty much anything, or haven't you noticed."
"Yes, I'd noticed."
"So she opts to be the stage manager. Which brings us to you. How did Helga get you to step aside anyway?"
Memories of Helga's confession washed over her for the second time that day, along with thoughts of strangulation. "Well, I promised not to tell."
"I see; she scared it out of you, huh?"
"I, I'm ever so certain I'm not at liberty to say."
"No doubt she threatened to stick a tree in your ear or something, like that girl in that Christmas play."
"What?"
"Never mind. Anyway, for whatever reason, you too step aside, which means that Helga has it all to herself."
"And according to your theory, she did it to..."
"To get to kiss Arnold of course!"
"You're certain?"
"I wasn't, until the time came for, The Kiss. And what a kiss! We were all, well, you were there, in the seat behind me, you saw it."
"Yes."
"It even brought that critic Leichliter to tears, and a school play does not do that, not to a jaded critic who's seen it all. And then there was the length of that kiss. Sid timed it; he said it lasted 15 whole seconds! If that was just acting, Helga should definitely take up acting as a career, because I could feel the heat all the way up in the audience."
Lila didn't let it show, but she was deflated. Rhonda had made a knock-down argument, as they used to say, a lead pipe cinch. She couldn't deny any of it, even if she hadn't known that the thrust of Rhonda's argument was indeed the case. But one thing still puzzled her.
"Um, Rhonda, if you knew of Helga's feelings for Arnold all this time, why haven't you told anyone?"
"What, and miss the best show in town? You just haven't noticed all the lengths Helga goes to to either tell him or keep it a secret or both; it's hilarious! Better than any movie."
"So you have no intention of telling?"
"Oh, no, it's too much fun watching the Helga and Arnold show. I might spice things up now and then --- like that game you mentioned, or that time she got amnesia and I took the opportunity to flirt with him right in front of her --- but let it out? No, not any time soon. That party of mine she came to dressed as you? That alone was worth keeping the secret. Oh, by the way, she's jealous of you."
"Oh, I, I'm ever so flattered, I think."
"No kidding, you'll have to watch what's going on sometime. It's just like watching 'Yo Ernest!', except there's no one here like that shallow fashion maven Rita."
The irony of that statement was lost on Lila, who was not really a 'Yo Ernest!' fan. "Well, you answered all of my questions. I suppose I should be on my way."
"Oh, there's no need to go so soon."
"No, really, I have to get ready for Arnold's birthday party."
"Oh yeah. Have you gotten your present for him yet?"
"No, but I know exactly what it is."
"Well, there's that at least."
"And you need to get upstairs. I'm sure Nadine--"
"Oh yeah. I'd forgotten."
"Not something you want to do to your best friend."
"Right. Well, can you see yourself out?"
"I'm ever so certain I can."
So ended the conversation on the verandah. Rhonda ran upstairs while Lila retraced her steps through the Lloyd "mansion" and on out to the street.
She continued home on foot. She would have done that even if she hadn't had a stop to make on the way; she had a lot to think about. That stop was Gamma-Lot Records, where she made a purchase. That done, she walked the remaining blocks, to the building where she lived, in utter silence; the events of the day made things sufficiently loud inside her head without any contributions from the exterior. With Rhonda's bombshell on top of the many Brainy had visited on her, she found herself wondering how it was she was still in her right mind. Brainy, intelligent, and with a quixotic streak yet? Rhonda, refusing to gossip, albeit for her own twisted reasons? As she approached her residence, she shook her head to clear it of the day's events; her gaze fell on the sack in her hand and the contents thereof. She was reminded of what she had to do, tomorrow and the next day. Back in her room, she emptied the sack and held up the contents thereof.
"I just hope he doesn't hate it after Sunday."
Meanwhile, Phoebe's day was continuing, for lack of another word to describe it. As she sat on the bus, next to Helga, only part of her mind was functioning. Distantly, she heard discussion of a group project meeting.
"So where should we meet to discuss it?"
"Not at my house, unless you want to risk run-ins with my brother & sister, enough said?"
"And there's no way anything's getting done at my house with Ol-ga there."
"So I guess it's the boarding house."
"Looks like, my man."
"Okkay then, we'll all get off there."
The conversation faded at that point; Phoebe's mind was not on it, or on anything for that matter.
Before that day, her thoughts had been mostly on Helga, Gerald, & her studies, not necessarily in that order. Now her thoughts... it was like her brain was trying to play ping-pong in a cold cream-of-wheat sea. Nothing made sense anymore. She was getting along with Lila, Brainy had a brain and a voice, the secret was out, Lila knew, Brainy knew, Patty knew, Rhonda maybe knew, Lila would help, Brainy loved Helga like Helga loved Arnold, what next?
"So, guess we'll have to wait on that other thing, huh Arnold?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
Huh? What were Gerald and Arnold talking about? (and why was she only paying attention now?) She looked to her side, where Helga was staring out the window, or writing in a little pink book; it was a toss-up. Then a peek at the seat ahead. There it was, spread out on Arnold's lap.
Who wrote the Little Pink Book?
WHAT?!?!? sigh, she had to ask.
"SOB!" Her head crashed down on her crossed arms.
"Phoebe?"
Her head went back up, eyes locking with another pair of eyes. A concerned pair of eyes. And they were neither blue nor green.
"Gerald?"
"Are you all right?"
"umm, well..."
"Project blues?"
"mm-hmm", she managed to whimper.
"Aw, man! We gotta have a word with Simmons next time we see him. Hey Arnold, would you mind switching seats with Phoebe?"
"Uh, okkay Gerald."
She felt Gerald's arms around her, guiding her out of her seat. Then she was up, Arnold sliding past her. A little movement, and she was again sitting, in a different seat.
"Hey Helga, do you have any idea of what's bugging Phoebe?"
"Uh,... hmm?"
She was conscious of Gerald hugging her, and then the tenuous link between her mind and the outside world again disconnected.
Again, her thoughts were water polo ponies in a lake of porridge. And part of her knew that made no sense whatsoever; that was the point.
She was being guided again, into a familiar house, her house. Gerald was still there, guiding her.
"Phoebe? What happened?"
"I don't know, Mrs. Heyerdahl. We all got this project for summer dumped on us today, and I guess she's taking it a bit hard."
"Oh dear. Gotta get you to bed right away; a good nap will probably settle things. Thanks for bringing her home, Gerald."
"You're welcome", she faintly hears; now her mother is guiding her, to her room, to her bed, on to the bed.
"Sleep well, Phoebe. Feel better now, y'hear?"
Lips on her forehead. A warm hand on her forehead, brushing aside stray hairs, removing her glasses, which clatter on the end table by her bed, footsteps. Lights out, more footsteps. A door closes. The footsteps, now muffled, fade.
Darkness.
Sleep. Blissful sleep, yes, it will settle all of the things her mind is having trouble reconciling. Sleep....
Eyes open to darkness, to a dark room, her room. A hand snakes out from under the covers; where are those glasses? Ah! There's the familiar hard, cool feel of glass and framework. Soon, they're on her face, she can see better. But not much; it's the light, or lack thereof. It's, it's, it's not dark, but it's evening. Where's that clock? Ah! Almost 5:00, still time to, to...
She sinks onto the bed. Was it all a dream?
Wait, where's her things from school. She walks to her desk, turns on the lamp. There they are. Hands rummage through the papers, looking, looking...
There.
"Pay It On Ahead to the Front" So that much was real.
Another paper.
"Obstacles to be removed in order to bring Arnold and Helga together" So that was real.
And another one, outlining reasons why Coach Wittenberg female might know The Secret.
It was real, then, all of it. It must have been; there was the proof in her hands. She couldn't make up stuff like this; she was no writer --- she'd proven that during that poetry contest. It must be. Brainy & Lila knew, they were going to help her help Helga with her family, with Arnold. And Brainy was in love with Helga.
Another look at the clock. 5:00 straight up now. It was getting too dark to go traveling through town, but she could find out what she needed to know by phone.
To the door, hand on the knob, twist, through the door...
"Phoebe?"
ulp! "Yes, Father?"
"Phoebe, how are you? Your mother said you were barely conscious when you came in from school."
"I'm, fine, Father. I just needed a nap; I'm fine now."
"Phoebe?" The other parent. "Oh, Phoebe, you look much better now. I knew it; all you needed was an hour or so of sleep. Nothing like sleep to settle the mind and the nerves. Are you going to be up to having supper with us?"
"Yes, Mother. I just need to call someone first."
"All right." Another kiss on the forehead. "Just remember to wash up as soon as you make your call."
"Yes, Mother."
Strong hands grasp her arms lovingly. She looks into a wise, kind, trusted face. "Daijoba desuka, aishite amasu."
A weak smile. "Arigato."
Hug.
He leaves the room, as had the other parent a moment earlier.
To the phone.
Phone book, under "W". Let's see, Wilkins, Williams, turn the page. Williamson, Wilson, Winfield, Wise, Witchard, Withem, Withers, Witherspoon, Wittmer, Witt, Witten, Wittenauer, ah! There we are; Wittenberg, Jack & Wittenberg, Tish. Hmm, two entries for the same phone number; well, guess it's a mark of them both being competitive.
Lift the receiver, punch the buttons, wait.
ring ring ring click
"Hello?" a young male voice says.
"Hello. I'm calling for Coach Wittenberg."
"Male or female?"
"Female."
"Just a minute."
a minute
"Hello?"
"Coach Wittenberg?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"Phoebe Heyerdahl. Was that your son I just talked with?"
"Yes, that was Tucker."
"Hmm. I've heard of him, but I've never seen him around school."
"He goes to boarding school, in Arizona, for his health. But the Coach & I have our jobs here --- well, I do more than he does --- and we're not finding any openings there. Concertedly, we and our son have to live apart from each other. Wait a minute, why am I telling you all this? You just called me on the phone and I've never met you before."
"Well, you would know my best friend, Helga Pataki."
"Oh, you're Helga's friend."
"Yes. That time you married the Coach--"
"Which time?"
"The second."
"Oh, of course; the first was probably before your time."
"Yes. You might have seen me there next to Helga, watching the air hockey match?"
"Hmm, wait, shorter than Helga, quiet, dark hair, glasses, Asiatic features, yellow scrunchie, kind of a blue gray ensemble?"
"That's me."
"Yeah, I remember you. You ever been on any of my teams?"
"Um, well, no."
"Why not?"
"Well, I'm not really the athletic type."
"Oh, come on, there must be something athletic you do well."
"Well, I've been fencing for years."
"Fencing, huh? Well, I don't know anything about it, but that never stopped the Coach. But I don't think you called just to give me suffusions as to possible future coaching endeavors."
"Oh, sorry. I was just wondering why you chose Helga to be your maid of honor."
"Like I told her, she was captain of my bowling team, and my cousin Carnie was out of town."
"Did it have something to do with Arnold being the Coach's best man?"
"Ah, Arnold. Y'know, he's the best thing to ever happen to the Coach. If there was an Arnold on every team he ever coached, his teams would be unflappable. They would be juggernauts, comprehensively, and abhorrently. And yeah, I did think it would look cute, the two of them walking down the aisle together. I think Helga kinda has a thing for him."
"Really?"
"Well, I'm not sure, but I was the same way when I was her age."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I really liked the Coach, but I was too shy to let him know it, so I covered it up by teasing him, picking on him, goofing on him every chance I got, you know?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Yeah, and I've seen her doing the same thing to that Arnold kid. If you ask me they'd be great together. If she'd only let herself she'd feel all goofy over him, just like I feel goofy over the Coach."
"I see."
"Is that what you wanted to know?"
"Um, yeah."
"Why?"
"Um, it's part of a group project, and I can't say any more about it than that."
"Oh, um, well, I hope I was able to help you."
"Oh, you were, you were."
"That's good. Hey, sometime why don't you call back and tell me what this was all about?"
"I, I'll think about it, Coach."
"Okkay, you take care of yourself. And keep up that fencing; everyone needs something to keep 'em busy, y'know?"
"Right. I'll do that. Good-bye, Coach."
"Good-bye Phoebe."
click
Well, that's done. Time to start thinking about Arnold's birthday tomorrow. Not that she hadn't before; she already had his present wrapped. It's appropriate, but knowing Arnold, he won't get the point. He's so dense. Oh well, her best friend loves him, and she likes his best friend. Could it be like-like? Hmm...
"Phoebe, supper time."
"Coming, mother."
And it was off to the bathroom to wash her hands, then to the dining room. After supper, she'd call Helga, who had also been a bit out of sorts on the bus. Then to bed, and tomorrow, the party.
translations: daijoba desuka, aishite amasu --- I love you, you're all right
" arigato --- thank you
Again, thank you, Houkanno Yuuhou.
Well, that left me pretty much wiped; but no fear. I will have Chapter 8 up before the end of the week, I think. What happened in this chapter is bizarre now that I look back on it. I had intended for Rhonda to know and to explain how she knows and why she doesn't tell to Lila, and maybe to Phoebe; but as for the other part, well... I hadn't planned to write that part, but after Phoebe's breakdown in Chapter 6 I had to try to tie off that loose end, and one thing led to another, and next thing I knew, I had a searing look inside her mind. Currently I am planning something similar for Lila, which came about because of this. That'll be in a few chapters and will take place on Sunday (man, these days go by at a snail's pace, don't they?). Anyway, the party's next. Please r&r. I'm Nftnat. On e-mail I'm nftnataol.com On IM I'm Nftnat. Cy'all around.