Hello, everyone. I'd like to start this with a quote from an earlier
fanfic of mine, 'Complicated':
"...By this point in her life, Helga had figured out that Phoebe knew her secret and that there was really no point in pretending when it was just the two of them talking. It was really a bit of a release in her lifetime of tension, being able to open up a little bit around Phoebe, who in turn liked it that her best friend could act a little more like it..."
That is in regard to a point Draco's Angels raised about Helga being able to accept her love for Arnold when around Phoebe. This fic follows 'Complicated' and 'When Patty Met Cupcake' in my continuity. Not all fics I write will be in that continuity, but when one doesn't fit I'll announce it.
Now, prepare for horror. The chapter that takes place Sunday in the park with Arnold and Lila? Next chapter. And I'll try to have it up within 48 hours. This chapter is the one I really had reservations about. It's a return to the dreaded songfic; worse yet, a dream songfic, in more ways than one. You'll see, if you dare to read it. It touches on the first experience I had with Nick Clips, upon which I stumbled while waiting for Pinky & the Brain to come on Nick one day. But it evens out, since I stumbled on Hey Arnold! after some episodes of Animaniacs ran long.
Now lessee. Starry Nights, I agree about Phoebe's gift; that's how I intended it. Hopefully I'll be answering some more of your questions. DA, the break is over; after the Guernica that is this chapter, I'll be getting back to work. The kids' work, that is. As to the bouncers, well, a wise man once wrote "Cast thy bread upon the water, for thou shalt find it again after many days"; imo Arnold's been doing the casting all his life and it's high time he started finding it again. No good deed he does goes unrewarded, and that includes good deeds done to bullies. Call it karma or whatever you want to call it. And I'm glad that you and Houkanno Yuuhou liked the songs; there's more where that came from. Fair warning: I'm a musician among other things and I am liable to overuse music in my fics. HY, you are kind. Let's see if you feel the same way about this one. You'll see about the things you mention, next time. J.T., you are perceptive. I am notorious for sprinkling obscure refs in pretty much everything I say. And I'm stubborn enough to keep trying to respond to everyone who reviews, and this is the most reviews I've gotten yet. n8, I'm glad you liked the party. Yeah, they called them 'chicky babies' when they were kissing them good night in Sixth Grade Girls. Your point about the Pentium is well taken, and I have since upgraded. Jess, you'll find out next time. Toker, thanks for that. I knew about "Because the Night", but I'd actually thought Patty Smyth and Patti Smith were one & the same. Silly me. Dramagirl310, Chien, thank you to you two too.
Hey Arnold! is created, copyrighted, & / or owned by Craig Bartlett, Snee-Oosh, & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom. "He Loves You Not" is by Dream and is on the album "It Was All a Dream" (Bad Boy 2000) --- just keep telling yourself that while you're reading this.
The rest of the evening went normally; well, as normally as parties involving the residents of the Sunset Arms go. Yes, Arnold's grandmother still thought it was Thanksgiving, or at least that's the impression everyone got. To placate her, Brainy played a set of Thanksgiving hymns. Helga had to give him credit; it was the hardest rocking versions of "We Gather Together", "Come, Ye Thankful People", and "For the Beauty Of the Earth" she'd ever heard.
There was a significant amount of animosity when Mr. Simmons appeared, but the lynch mob as it were was called off, by Phoebe of all people. Considering that she had apparently been affected by the project more than anyone, the others dropped the matter.
One of the lighter moments revolved around Principal Wartz. A whispering campaign put into play a practical joke: anyone and everyone who was around him laughed and pointed at him for as long as he was near them. In less than a minute his stack blew; he started handing out detentions, suspensions, etc. But before he could work his way up to expulsions, cooler heads prevailed. The police and even the mayor informed him that he had no power over even students off campus or after hours, let alone during summer vacation. He didn't like that; after muttering something about his animals, he left the party.
During the course of the party, if one had bothered to pay attention, one would have heard some interesting conversations going on.
"Willikers, Harold. That sure was somethin' you & Bi-, uh, Patty done fer Arnold."
"He stood up to Wartz for us; that kid has guts."
"Hey, Rhonda, wanna dance?"
"Bug off, Sid. Why don't you go bother some of the older girls like you always do?"
"Aw come on! We can discuss the project."
"Not here, not now."
"Aw, man!"
"I'll dance with you, Sid."
"What, what'd you say, Nadine?"
"Let's go down to the zoo and--"
"NOO!!!"
"Eugene, can we talk?"
"Sure, Sheena. What about?"
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but..."
"Now, don't get any ideas, football-head. I'm just dancing with you because it's your birthday."
"Whatever you say."
And so it went. Then Arnold's grandma got on the piano to play and sing 'We Need a Little Christmas', the song from the musical Mame. And tried to draft Arnold to sing the part of Patrick. The party broke up soon after that.
Fast forward a few hours. It's the night before Lila tells Arnold, whatever it is she's going to tell him. And Helga is in the familiar position of mental torture, in bed. Curiosity about the morrow will not leave her alone. She is tossing, and turning, and dreaming...
She finds herself wandering around in one of those dreamscapes. The sky was orange-yellow and occasionally dotted with a flock of Clue pieces. On the air could be heard the strains of a tinny piano playing songs from decades before her parents were born, accompanied by the voice of Arnold's grandmother and an occasional remonstration from Phil. She encountered another piano, a grand with Olga at the keys. The lid was up, and Bob was playing the strings like a harp. The next sight on her travels is her mother and Phoebe engaged in the construction of an origami army. Phoebe has a straw in her mouth, which trails a ludicrously long length into a banana split. Another straw, just as long, leads out of the split and into Gerald's mouth.
"All right, I guess I'm in another dream. Wonder what else-- uh, better not ask that."
Then she saw him. Arnold. With his trademark half-lidded eyes and inscrutable expression. Only he was bigger than life, ten feet tall and much more solid. She was reminded of one of her shrines to him, only two, three times as big.
"ARNOLD!" she ran to him, screaming. "Oh, Arnold, lone bastion of sanity in this crazy quilt of emotional turmoil that is my subconscious..." But she stopped. Despite the fact that she was screaming this at the top of her voice - for once - Arnold apparently took no notice of her. "Arnold?" No response. "ARNOLD!!!" Nothing.
Then it started. The music. Not tinny, nor classical, but more pop- like. Then the voices, followed soon after by their owners, every one hated by her at one time or another.
"Give it your all, girl;
Give it all you got."
"Ruth MacDougal?"
"You can take your chance
And take your best shot."
"Miss Felter?"
"Say what you want girl,
Do what you wanna do;"
"Summer?!?"
"He's never gonna, gonna make it with you."
"Liiii-la!" By now she was seething.
There they were, her nemeses, all four of them. All objects of her beloved's affections. By now they surrounded him. They were all over him, touching him as she had wanted to touch him. And he seemed to be enjoying it! Then it started up again.
Miss Felter: "You're pulling petals off a flower,
Trying to get your own way.
Keep pulling till it says what you want it to say."
Ruth: "Girl you can pick a field full of daisies,
But he'd still be my baby."
Summer: "I know you can hardly wait till I'm away from him.
Instinctively I know what you're thinking."
Lila: "You'll be giving him an open invitation.
But my baby won't be taken in, no."
Miss Felter: "You can pout your cherry lips,"
Ruth: "Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss,"
Summer: "You can flirt your pretty eyes;
He ain't got his hands tied."
Then they all sang:
"No chains to unlock,
So free to do what he wants.
He's into what he's got;
He loves me, he loves you not.
No matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you.
He's into what he's got;
He loves me, he loves you not."
The scene was now turning kind of sick, really. She was finding it hard to watch, but she couldn't tear her eyes away; she kept watching the perverse scene play itself out.
Miss Felter: "You're the kind of girl that's always up for do or dare;
Only want him just because he's there."
Summer: "Always looking for a new ride,
The grass is greener on the other side."
Ruth: "You're the kind of girl who's not used to hearing "no";
All your lovers try to take you where you wanna go."
Lila: "Doesn't matter how hard you try,
Never gonna get with my guy."
And the voices came together again. (A/N For those with choral backgrounds, the voices are Ruth -- soprano, Lila -- mezzo, Summer -- alto, Miss Felter -- contralto; and I know that's not accurate but you get the idea.)
"No chains to unlock,
So free to do what he wants,
He's into what he's got,
He loves me, he loves you not.
No matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you.
He's into what he's got.
He loves me, he loves you not."
Hands on ears, eyes screwed shut, Helga was screaming, "Make it stop, Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Seeing some of her classmates, she rushed to where they were, desperate to have some help. They were watching events unfold, and uncover, like an audience. Stinky and Harold were eating popcorn from a bucket on top of Sid's head. Sid was eating his own nose, with chili, and mustard, and cheese. Nadine, net in hand, passed by, chasing an insect form of Rhonda. And there were others on what passed for bleachers.
"They call that dancing?" Sheena commented.
"They should've come to us." put in Eugene.
"Hey." Helga jumped, feeling a hand on her shoulder. She whipped around to find herself face to face with Gerald.
He nodded to the scene behind her and asked, "Are you sure you're old enough to see that?"
A disembodied voice that could only be that of Phil was then heard: "Heck, I don't know if I'm old enough to see it."
Helga's heart was in a blender which by now had progressed to the puree setting, but she couldn't stop herself. She turned back to the scene, watching things that would never be seen on Nickelodeon, or Nick at Nite, or even TV Land. Court TV, maybe. It occurred to her to wonder how they do that and keep singing.
All: "Doesn't matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you."
Ruth: "Give it all girl, give it all you got."
Miss Felter: "Take a chance and take your best shot."
Summer: "Say what you want girl,
Do what you do."
Lila: "He's never gonna make it with you."
Miss Felter: "You can pout your cherry lips,"
Summer: "Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss."
Ruth: "You can flirt your pretty eyes;
He ain't got his hands tied."
All: "No chains to unlock,
So free to do what he wants,
He's into what he's got,
He loves me, he loves you not.
No matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you.
He's into what he's got.
He loves me, he loves you not.
Miss Felter: "He loves me,"
Summer: "He loves me,"
Ruth: "He loves me,"
Lila: "He loves me,"
And everyone said, "He loves you not!" pointing at Helga.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Helga screamed, frantic, desperate, --- and awakening. She was incoherent, inconsolable, hyperventilating, able to say but one word, which she did over and over. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
pound pound pound "Hey, keep it down! Your sister needs her sleep."
"Hmm, what, B?"
"Go back to sleep, Miriam. It was just the girl."
That, while not completely unexpected, did exactly less than zero to calm her. That effect was accomplished by her own considerable willpower. After a minute clutching the sides of her bed, she rolled out for an emergency service in front of her shrine, emitting the "groanings which cannot be uttered" of which you might have heard. Then, to apply the war paint. The headdress, the ceremonial robe, etc. And a vow.
"Lila, if you do anything to my beloved, you will pay! And that goes for the rest of you, too!"
What she did to solemnize that vow, you do not want to know.
Well, I think I've exorcised those demons from my hands by now. May Craig Bartlett have mercy on my soul! I'm so ashamed of this, I'm changing the rating. I apologize to one and all for this chapter, but I saw it as happening the night between the party and the scene in the park. I've had worse dreams than this, and I'm certain I'm not the only one. Please forgive me. Please also read & review. If you want to flame me privately, on e-mail I'm nftnataol.com and on IM I'm Nftnat. Cy'all. Soon.
"...By this point in her life, Helga had figured out that Phoebe knew her secret and that there was really no point in pretending when it was just the two of them talking. It was really a bit of a release in her lifetime of tension, being able to open up a little bit around Phoebe, who in turn liked it that her best friend could act a little more like it..."
That is in regard to a point Draco's Angels raised about Helga being able to accept her love for Arnold when around Phoebe. This fic follows 'Complicated' and 'When Patty Met Cupcake' in my continuity. Not all fics I write will be in that continuity, but when one doesn't fit I'll announce it.
Now, prepare for horror. The chapter that takes place Sunday in the park with Arnold and Lila? Next chapter. And I'll try to have it up within 48 hours. This chapter is the one I really had reservations about. It's a return to the dreaded songfic; worse yet, a dream songfic, in more ways than one. You'll see, if you dare to read it. It touches on the first experience I had with Nick Clips, upon which I stumbled while waiting for Pinky & the Brain to come on Nick one day. But it evens out, since I stumbled on Hey Arnold! after some episodes of Animaniacs ran long.
Now lessee. Starry Nights, I agree about Phoebe's gift; that's how I intended it. Hopefully I'll be answering some more of your questions. DA, the break is over; after the Guernica that is this chapter, I'll be getting back to work. The kids' work, that is. As to the bouncers, well, a wise man once wrote "Cast thy bread upon the water, for thou shalt find it again after many days"; imo Arnold's been doing the casting all his life and it's high time he started finding it again. No good deed he does goes unrewarded, and that includes good deeds done to bullies. Call it karma or whatever you want to call it. And I'm glad that you and Houkanno Yuuhou liked the songs; there's more where that came from. Fair warning: I'm a musician among other things and I am liable to overuse music in my fics. HY, you are kind. Let's see if you feel the same way about this one. You'll see about the things you mention, next time. J.T., you are perceptive. I am notorious for sprinkling obscure refs in pretty much everything I say. And I'm stubborn enough to keep trying to respond to everyone who reviews, and this is the most reviews I've gotten yet. n8, I'm glad you liked the party. Yeah, they called them 'chicky babies' when they were kissing them good night in Sixth Grade Girls. Your point about the Pentium is well taken, and I have since upgraded. Jess, you'll find out next time. Toker, thanks for that. I knew about "Because the Night", but I'd actually thought Patty Smyth and Patti Smith were one & the same. Silly me. Dramagirl310, Chien, thank you to you two too.
Hey Arnold! is created, copyrighted, & / or owned by Craig Bartlett, Snee-Oosh, & / or Nickelodeon, which in turn is owned by Viacom. "He Loves You Not" is by Dream and is on the album "It Was All a Dream" (Bad Boy 2000) --- just keep telling yourself that while you're reading this.
The rest of the evening went normally; well, as normally as parties involving the residents of the Sunset Arms go. Yes, Arnold's grandmother still thought it was Thanksgiving, or at least that's the impression everyone got. To placate her, Brainy played a set of Thanksgiving hymns. Helga had to give him credit; it was the hardest rocking versions of "We Gather Together", "Come, Ye Thankful People", and "For the Beauty Of the Earth" she'd ever heard.
There was a significant amount of animosity when Mr. Simmons appeared, but the lynch mob as it were was called off, by Phoebe of all people. Considering that she had apparently been affected by the project more than anyone, the others dropped the matter.
One of the lighter moments revolved around Principal Wartz. A whispering campaign put into play a practical joke: anyone and everyone who was around him laughed and pointed at him for as long as he was near them. In less than a minute his stack blew; he started handing out detentions, suspensions, etc. But before he could work his way up to expulsions, cooler heads prevailed. The police and even the mayor informed him that he had no power over even students off campus or after hours, let alone during summer vacation. He didn't like that; after muttering something about his animals, he left the party.
During the course of the party, if one had bothered to pay attention, one would have heard some interesting conversations going on.
"Willikers, Harold. That sure was somethin' you & Bi-, uh, Patty done fer Arnold."
"He stood up to Wartz for us; that kid has guts."
"Hey, Rhonda, wanna dance?"
"Bug off, Sid. Why don't you go bother some of the older girls like you always do?"
"Aw come on! We can discuss the project."
"Not here, not now."
"Aw, man!"
"I'll dance with you, Sid."
"What, what'd you say, Nadine?"
"Let's go down to the zoo and--"
"NOO!!!"
"Eugene, can we talk?"
"Sure, Sheena. What about?"
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but..."
"Now, don't get any ideas, football-head. I'm just dancing with you because it's your birthday."
"Whatever you say."
And so it went. Then Arnold's grandma got on the piano to play and sing 'We Need a Little Christmas', the song from the musical Mame. And tried to draft Arnold to sing the part of Patrick. The party broke up soon after that.
Fast forward a few hours. It's the night before Lila tells Arnold, whatever it is she's going to tell him. And Helga is in the familiar position of mental torture, in bed. Curiosity about the morrow will not leave her alone. She is tossing, and turning, and dreaming...
She finds herself wandering around in one of those dreamscapes. The sky was orange-yellow and occasionally dotted with a flock of Clue pieces. On the air could be heard the strains of a tinny piano playing songs from decades before her parents were born, accompanied by the voice of Arnold's grandmother and an occasional remonstration from Phil. She encountered another piano, a grand with Olga at the keys. The lid was up, and Bob was playing the strings like a harp. The next sight on her travels is her mother and Phoebe engaged in the construction of an origami army. Phoebe has a straw in her mouth, which trails a ludicrously long length into a banana split. Another straw, just as long, leads out of the split and into Gerald's mouth.
"All right, I guess I'm in another dream. Wonder what else-- uh, better not ask that."
Then she saw him. Arnold. With his trademark half-lidded eyes and inscrutable expression. Only he was bigger than life, ten feet tall and much more solid. She was reminded of one of her shrines to him, only two, three times as big.
"ARNOLD!" she ran to him, screaming. "Oh, Arnold, lone bastion of sanity in this crazy quilt of emotional turmoil that is my subconscious..." But she stopped. Despite the fact that she was screaming this at the top of her voice - for once - Arnold apparently took no notice of her. "Arnold?" No response. "ARNOLD!!!" Nothing.
Then it started. The music. Not tinny, nor classical, but more pop- like. Then the voices, followed soon after by their owners, every one hated by her at one time or another.
"Give it your all, girl;
Give it all you got."
"Ruth MacDougal?"
"You can take your chance
And take your best shot."
"Miss Felter?"
"Say what you want girl,
Do what you wanna do;"
"Summer?!?"
"He's never gonna, gonna make it with you."
"Liiii-la!" By now she was seething.
There they were, her nemeses, all four of them. All objects of her beloved's affections. By now they surrounded him. They were all over him, touching him as she had wanted to touch him. And he seemed to be enjoying it! Then it started up again.
Miss Felter: "You're pulling petals off a flower,
Trying to get your own way.
Keep pulling till it says what you want it to say."
Ruth: "Girl you can pick a field full of daisies,
But he'd still be my baby."
Summer: "I know you can hardly wait till I'm away from him.
Instinctively I know what you're thinking."
Lila: "You'll be giving him an open invitation.
But my baby won't be taken in, no."
Miss Felter: "You can pout your cherry lips,"
Ruth: "Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss,"
Summer: "You can flirt your pretty eyes;
He ain't got his hands tied."
Then they all sang:
"No chains to unlock,
So free to do what he wants.
He's into what he's got;
He loves me, he loves you not.
No matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you.
He's into what he's got;
He loves me, he loves you not."
The scene was now turning kind of sick, really. She was finding it hard to watch, but she couldn't tear her eyes away; she kept watching the perverse scene play itself out.
Miss Felter: "You're the kind of girl that's always up for do or dare;
Only want him just because he's there."
Summer: "Always looking for a new ride,
The grass is greener on the other side."
Ruth: "You're the kind of girl who's not used to hearing "no";
All your lovers try to take you where you wanna go."
Lila: "Doesn't matter how hard you try,
Never gonna get with my guy."
And the voices came together again. (A/N For those with choral backgrounds, the voices are Ruth -- soprano, Lila -- mezzo, Summer -- alto, Miss Felter -- contralto; and I know that's not accurate but you get the idea.)
"No chains to unlock,
So free to do what he wants,
He's into what he's got,
He loves me, he loves you not.
No matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you.
He's into what he's got.
He loves me, he loves you not."
Hands on ears, eyes screwed shut, Helga was screaming, "Make it stop, Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Seeing some of her classmates, she rushed to where they were, desperate to have some help. They were watching events unfold, and uncover, like an audience. Stinky and Harold were eating popcorn from a bucket on top of Sid's head. Sid was eating his own nose, with chili, and mustard, and cheese. Nadine, net in hand, passed by, chasing an insect form of Rhonda. And there were others on what passed for bleachers.
"They call that dancing?" Sheena commented.
"They should've come to us." put in Eugene.
"Hey." Helga jumped, feeling a hand on her shoulder. She whipped around to find herself face to face with Gerald.
He nodded to the scene behind her and asked, "Are you sure you're old enough to see that?"
A disembodied voice that could only be that of Phil was then heard: "Heck, I don't know if I'm old enough to see it."
Helga's heart was in a blender which by now had progressed to the puree setting, but she couldn't stop herself. She turned back to the scene, watching things that would never be seen on Nickelodeon, or Nick at Nite, or even TV Land. Court TV, maybe. It occurred to her to wonder how they do that and keep singing.
All: "Doesn't matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you."
Ruth: "Give it all girl, give it all you got."
Miss Felter: "Take a chance and take your best shot."
Summer: "Say what you want girl,
Do what you do."
Lila: "He's never gonna make it with you."
Miss Felter: "You can pout your cherry lips,"
Summer: "Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss."
Ruth: "You can flirt your pretty eyes;
He ain't got his hands tied."
All: "No chains to unlock,
So free to do what he wants,
He's into what he's got,
He loves me, he loves you not.
No matter what you do,
He's never gonna be with you.
He's into what he's got.
He loves me, he loves you not.
Miss Felter: "He loves me,"
Summer: "He loves me,"
Ruth: "He loves me,"
Lila: "He loves me,"
And everyone said, "He loves you not!" pointing at Helga.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Helga screamed, frantic, desperate, --- and awakening. She was incoherent, inconsolable, hyperventilating, able to say but one word, which she did over and over. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
pound pound pound "Hey, keep it down! Your sister needs her sleep."
"Hmm, what, B?"
"Go back to sleep, Miriam. It was just the girl."
That, while not completely unexpected, did exactly less than zero to calm her. That effect was accomplished by her own considerable willpower. After a minute clutching the sides of her bed, she rolled out for an emergency service in front of her shrine, emitting the "groanings which cannot be uttered" of which you might have heard. Then, to apply the war paint. The headdress, the ceremonial robe, etc. And a vow.
"Lila, if you do anything to my beloved, you will pay! And that goes for the rest of you, too!"
What she did to solemnize that vow, you do not want to know.
Well, I think I've exorcised those demons from my hands by now. May Craig Bartlett have mercy on my soul! I'm so ashamed of this, I'm changing the rating. I apologize to one and all for this chapter, but I saw it as happening the night between the party and the scene in the park. I've had worse dreams than this, and I'm certain I'm not the only one. Please forgive me. Please also read & review. If you want to flame me privately, on e-mail I'm nftnataol.com and on IM I'm Nftnat. Cy'all. Soon.