Disclaimer: I do not own the Phantom of the Opera in any size, shape or form, or any of its characters either. I don't own Santa Claus or Darth Vader. I don't really own my car either, as I'm still making payments on it.

Chapter Two

In which Erik gets several tastes of his own medicine, and he and his strange companion set out on quest of sorts

Later that evening…..

Eric dragged himself from the lake and removed the sodden underdrawers from his head. The voice control trick hadn't worked at all. On the contrary, it was obvious that the Creature's skills surpassed his own…as did his fencing skills. Erik glanced over at his lovely sword, now a puddle of melted steel rapidly cooling on the rug. The Evil Christmas Demon was idly burning dirty limericks about someone named Obi Wan on the lair's ceiling, seemingly unaware of the shivering, dripping Phantom. What kind of demonic sword was he wielding, anyway? The thing glowed an eerie red, and hummed unpleasantly as it cut new obscenities in to the stone.

Erik stared morosely at the scene. Intolerable! This was not how he'd envisioned spending Christmas Eve, and something must be done about it. He glowered menacingly at the Creature, but It was too busy chuckling over its own cleverness to notice.

Slowly a plan began to form in Erik's head. It wasn't much of a plan, but given the fact that he was still recovering from a pretty powerful mind trick, it wasn't too bad, either. A maniacal gleam entered his eyes as he melted into the shadows and stealthily advanced toward the preoccupied Thing. A furtive movement of his hand brought the Punjab Lasso from its hiding place. This time he'd catch The Evil Santa Demon off guard, and he'd kill It. Christmas was so much fun!

The lasso hissed through the air, and settled around the Creature's neck. Erik snapped the rope taut, and pulled for all he was worth. Suddenly, an invisible vise clamped painfully around his throat, cutting off his air supply. "Agck! Ghck!" , he choked, as he found himself suspended three feet off the ground, eye to eye with the Evil Santa Demon. "Khooh-Kheeh, Khooh-Kheeh", went the Demon. "Grikkh, Ackk!" choked Erik. Erik shot backward a distance, and was plopped into the armchair. He coughed and spluttered as the vise-like feeling abruptly ceased.

"We will now commence with traditional Holiday festivities", The Evil-Christmas-Demon intoned. "Emprah Claus was very insistent that we sing Christmas Carols!"

Erik didn't know any Christmas Carols, but decided that this was not a good time to say so. Instead he used his amazing talents as a composer, and made up a cheery little number about Vicomtes roasting on an open fire, and Raouls hanging from a tree. He thought it was pretty good for such short notice, but it did not fool the Creature one little bit. It grumbled so much that Erik finally suggested rather nastily that if he wanted Carols perhaps he should sing one himself.

The Thing abashedly confessed that he didn't know any either, and then demanded that they find some one who did…who did Erik know who could sing jolly Christmas songs? Erik remarked sourly that he rather hoped he knew no one who could do that. The Creature concentrated for a moment…"…Christine! Your emotions betray you, Erik! If you do not sing Christmas Carols, perhaps she will!"

"Damn", thought Erik, "How does he do that?"

'Who is this Christine, and where may we find her?" asked the Evil Christmas Demon

"She's my fiancé", snapped Erik, "And she's at home with her husband. Where else would she be on Christmas Eve?"

"Hmm…I see…." Said the Creature, although he really didn't. "And where is their home?"

"How should I know? They never ask me over."

"Then who do you know who knows where they live? ...Hmmm…..Madame Giry! Your emotions betray you, Erik! If you……"

"Will you stop that?" Screamed Erik, "It drives me crazy!"

"We will visit Madame Giry."

"No we won't! You do not know what that woman is like on Christmas Eve!"

The words hadn't left his lips before the Creature had them both in Erik's boat, which seemed to be leaving the shore under its own power.

"Take me to Madame Giry!"

"Never!"

"You want to take me to Madame Giry."

"Uh…I want to take you to Madame Giry."

"You wish to go to Christine's house."

"I wish to go to Christine's house."

"You will sing Christmas Carols"

"I will sing Christmas Carols."

"You are a great big girly."

"I am a great big girly."

"You squawk like a chicken."

"I squawk like a chicken…awk…buckbuckbuck".

The Creature khookheehed in satisfaction. Damn, being the Dark Lord of the North Pole was fun!