A/N: I think this chapterhas somewhatdeviated from the main plot, but I think it's necessary and still with the sense-making. Tell me if I'm completely deluded ...

Thanks to funkydevil206, axlgroupie91, Serrafina, and CrumbleViolet for caring.

Disclaimer: So not mine. I'm just borrowing them. Please don't sue …

Rating: PG-13. Swearing, angst, violence. You have been warned …

Pairings: B/S eventually. W/T, X/A.

Distribution: Yeah, sure, take it. Tell me first, though.

Reviews: Much appreciated. Much loved.

Previously: In some twisted, strange stalker-logic, Willow's goldfish are killed by Buffy's follower …

The thought (although entirely inappropriate for the moment) flashed though Buffy's head that there was more emotion here than at Hank's funeral.

The girls had sent Spike and Xander upstairs to get the fish and the envelope. And with the seriousness of the moment, the two hadn't protested before giving in.

The envelope proved to contain nothing more than a Polaroid of the fish, alive. This had caused another onslaught of tears from Willow. Angel then stopped by and took it away (along with the other things they had gotten so far). He didn't stay long, though, instinctively knowing that he wasn't quite accepted into the group yet.

Her friends had sadly buried their beloved pet goldfish, and now everyone sat congregated in the living room.

"What do we do now?" Dawn asked in a small voice.

No one had an answer to that, so Buffy blurted out the first thing that came to mind, launching the oddest conversation. "Hey, Ahn? Do I still have to worry about any current work project right now?"

Anya appeared to have memorized her client's schedule. "Nope, not currently."

The others looked at them, thinking this was an unfit subject to be discussing at the current moment.

"I guess I should be here and lay low for a while anyways," Buffy admitted. "Especially with …"

No one had to ask her what she meant.

"So this is your vacation," Anya suggested. "You can afford it right now. And, you can spin some story to the press about reconciliation with your family."

"Sitting around, waiting for a potentially dangerous stalker to show his face – and possibly hurt my 'reconciled family' – isn't my idea of a vacation," Buffy returned dryly, knowing Anya didn't mean to be callous with her comment.

"Is the publicity all you think about?" Willow suddenly asked.

The group looked at the usually tranquil redhead with surprise, but Anya replied levelly, "I still have to worry about business."

Willow looked at her for a minute, then walked out of the room. Immediately, several people made a move to go after her.

Anya, of all people, stopped them. "Don't. Let her be by herself for a while," she said. "This afternoon was upsetting, and" – she motioned for Buffy to come over – "I think she thinks she's not your best friend anymore," she finished in a loud whisper in the blonde's ear.

Despite the fact that they now faced another problem, the group smiled at her attempt at confidentiality.

"That's silly," Buffy protested. "Why would she think that."

"Because she wasn't the one to talk to you after the Angel thing yesterday," Anya replied promptly.

"A-and because Willow missed out on part of your life," Tara added, blushing when all eyes turned to her.

The accurate observation sank slowly into the small group. Xander smiled proudly at his new girlfriend, happy that she was being so understanding – by now, he already knew that she could also be easily offended.

"So, give her a while, then talk to her," Anya told Buffy.

oOoOo

Buffy found Willow sitting out on the back porch. She lingered by the kitchen doorway, suddenly unsure of what to say to her friend.

Willow suddenly sighed. "I know that wasn't really fair of me. I'll go in and make with the apologizing in a minute," she said dejectedly.

Buffy walked out and sat down next to the redhead. "I'm not out here to scold you or anything," she explained. "You're probably a bit too old for that – and the fact that you're usually better with the mature act-age that I am sorta makes that a null point …"

A small smile appeared on Willow's face as she listened to her friend's rambling.

"You're not losing me, you know," Buffy abruptly changed the subject, bringing a confused frown to Willow's brow.

"Wha'?"

"I'm still your best friend," Buffy assured her.

"I know that," Willow said defensively.

Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Great, now Tara won't even keep a secret," Willow sulked.

"Hey! I have powers of observation, too, missy," Buffy exclaimed. "And it's completely not the point that that's Anya theory. Tara wouldn't betray your trust like that."

Willow blushed, and then turned indignant. "You guys have theories about me now?"

"No," Buffy replied firmly. "They were just pointing something out to me that I've been too self-absorbed to see. Yesterday, and before, I was so completely wrapped up in the Buffy-drama, that I've taken you all for granted."

Willow opened her mouth to protest, but stopped when Buffy sat down besides her.

"Yeah, I have," the blonde continued. "Coming back wasn't a publicity stunt. Honestly, I didn't really want to at first 'cause I was scared of how you'd all react, but now I'm glad I did."

"I'm glad you did, too," Willow smiled. "It's not really the same without you."

Buffy gave her friend a one-armed hug. "We good?"

"Yeah, we're good," Willow confirmed.

"Good." Buffy stood up. "I'm gonna head back in. You coming?"

"In a minute," Willow said. "Can you ask Anya to come out here?"

"Umm … yeah, sure. Just, don't kill each other, Wills. Having dead best friends is so not of the good."

Willow smiled. "I promise."

oOoOo

The gang all pretended not to eavesdrop, but somehow, everyone had found an excuse to be in the kitchen. They grew worried as it remained quiet. Just as Xander was about to suggest that they go check on the two, they heard Willow explode with laughter.

Surprisingly, Willow and Anya found that they did have common interests. Namely, this consisted of swapping embarrassing stories of their mutual friend.

Suddenly, the blonde heard Willow say, "Oh! You have to hear about what Buffy did when she was four …"

Buffy's eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights, and she rushed out the back door. Everyone followed her.

"Willow!" she exclaimed, clamping a hand over her friend's mouth. "Don't!"

The redhead looked mischievous. "Why not?"

"Because … because …" she couldn't find a valid reason.

"Ooo! I want to hear it!" Dawn butt in. "I wasn't even born yet, then."

"Hey!" Buffy objected. But she was outnumbered.

The somber mood of earlier disintegrated as everyone teased each other and laughed.

Dawn summed it up when she joked, "Everyone's laughing, and Buffy's face is bright red. All's right with the world."

In their minds, though, the friends still knew that not all was right yet.

oOoOo

Nightfall found the entire gang still congregated at the girls' house, and Spike on the back porch smoking.

"You just broke rule number eleven: no being outside alone after dark," Buffy joked as she stepped outside to join him.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Since when did we have rules?"

"Since …" she suddenly trailed off.

Mentally, he cursed himself for bring up the subject, then tried to lighten the mood again. "Well, you're with me, so 'm not alone now," he observed.

Buffy sat besides him and smiled wanly. "Yeah, guess not …"

"Don't let this take over your life, Buffy," Spike commented suddenly.

The blonde frowned, knowing to which recent events he was referring. "It's sorta hard not --"

Spike cut in, "'M not sayin' ignore it and pretend the creep isn't there, 'cause he is and it's as scary as 'ell, but you still have to live."

Buffy sighed. "We haven't thought of any solutions, and I feel so guilty for dragging you all into this …"

"Since when 'aven't we helped each other?" Spike asked rhetorically. "It's our problem. And after what happened earlier, we all needed to forget and laugh a little. We'll get through this."

During his short speech, Buffy had leaned her head on his shoulder; something she used to do when they talk when they were younger. Now, without thinking about what she was saying, Buffy said drowsily, "You sound like you've had experience."

"Maybe I have," he muttered. It wasn't so low that she didn't catch it, though.

Buffy lifted her head to stare at him. Then she whispered, "You've been stalked?"

"Yeah," was all he said.

The two sat in silence for a while before he continued. "You've been buggin' me to tell you what changed me from poncy William to Spike, right?"

"I haven't 'bugged' you!" She protested. "And William wasn't 'poncy.' Besides, you're still William."

"You said I was completely different," Spike argued.

"You're still you, though," Buffy decided. "Now stop stalling and tell me what happened."

"I fell in love" – Buffy held her breath – "or, at least, I thought I did." She let go of the lungful of air, not sure why she'd been holding it in the first place, or why she felt relieved now.

"I met Dru in college, in London," Spike continued, "and for some reason, she noticed me. She was really the first girl that ever did – in a non-friend capacity, of course. We hit it off, began dating, and she became my 'dark princess.'"

Spike laughed at the face Buffy made when she heard his nickname for his former girlfriend.

"Anyways, I don't think she was ever very stable, mentally, but I was so enamored, I didn't care. I took care of her. After we'd been together a while, I heard rumors that she'd been cheating on me. I ignored them, but then I caught her with another bloke.

"The first time, I forgave her, but then it happened again … and again. The last time, she told me that I wasn't strong enough, tough enough. And that made me mad enough to go all 'bad ass' for a while," here, Spike almost smiled at the memories. "We hadn't run into each other at all after we'd broken up, but Dru show up one day and decides that she wants me back. I tol' her that we'd never get back together, and that led to the stalkin'. Now, I think she's bein' treated in a mental asylum, an' of course, I left the mother country and came here ..."

The friends were quiet as Spike ended his story. Then, to break the silence, he added, "Not so dramatic, 'f you think 'bout it."

That made Buffy chuckle. "Thank you, for telling me," she said as she hugged him.

"Well, there wouldn' have been any other way to get you to stop asking me now, would there?" Spike asked wryly.

"Shut up!" She laughed, punching his arm lightly. Then she leaned back into his side.

They sat quietly and contently against each other, looking out into the night. Both were still not quite ready to face however else their friendship would change in the future, having barely finished learning their past.

But some how, to Buffy, things looked a bit more hopeful tonight than before.

She smiled happily at that thought.

You know what ... pretty please?

le faye