Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Notes: Deathfic!

When they'd told Elizabeth she hadn't been able to comprehend it. She'd asked why they were playing such a cruel joke on her, eyes blazing with heat. Then John had come in, eyes dark and swollen from the crying he wouldn't admit to; she realized it was true.

Zelenka appeared that night as she took another swig from the glass bottle, bitter and tired. He'd not shed any tears, but it was evident as he drowned himself in some fine Terriaen booze that he would at some point cry. His emotions were more obvious than Carson's; the Scot had a mask over his face when he went to see Elizabeth.

Yes, he'd died from a single gunshot to the head. Yes, it was quick and no, he didn't feel anymore pain.

He left after those announcements and it was just John and Elizabeth alone in her quarters. The loneliness in his eyes was more evident than anything else. The pain, the sadness cut into her.

"John, I'm sorry."

"I just don't understand." He whispered, "He'd been so...happy this morning. He was smiling, we made love in the shower. God, He asked me if I wanted to just take the day off and lay in bed and I laughed. I laughed at him and he wanted me with him, and god..." His head fell to his hands. His back jerked with sobs, his voice silent.

Elizabeth moved to sit beside him, rubbing his back and hugging him. She remembered when John and Rodney had first told her about their relationship, the way they doted on each other without seeming like they were. The snarking and sniping, the arguments and debates, the way they let go of decorum in their quarters and loved to cuddle up while watching a movie no matter who was there with them. She remembered wishing that she could find someone who would love her like that.

But the dream had been torn when Rodney lost his hearing. He'd been indifferent in the beginning of the loss, then as time wore on, everyone noticed his anger and his bitterness. John had tried to help, many times; Kate had finally gotten him to take a step back and to accept that Rodney had to find his own way.

It hadn't happened. John had thought it had, that morning, but Rodney was dead and now he was alone. His only consolation that part of him knew Rodney's spirit was alive, was elsewhere but still close.