THINGY: IZim characters and world are Jhonen's. Wrote this after my neighbor's suicide so if ya review it, be nice will ya?

Zim died last week. Blunt statement, isn't it folks? Trust me…nothing can ever compare to the pain it still causes me. Not even the initial shock when I found out comes close to what I'm feeling now. That's right. It's not my fault. I didn't kill him in some victorious last battle; I didn't get to even the score for all the years he made my life hell. So he did what I never could and destroyed himself. I am so unprepared for this.

And I blame you.

Perhaps I should explain. You see, the internet is an amazing tool. Not only does it allow you to have the world at your fingertips, it allows you have access to other dimensions as well. Like yours. I had heard the theory that the internet was a portal to other worlds: how could I have not? I am the paranormal world's worst nightmare after all. But I had discredited it as hoax…that is until the day Zim was messing around with my computer and he came across the words "Invader Zim" on a website. Bam! Fanfiction based on our lives and the lives of those around us. Who knew people actually cared that we existed?

One fifteen year old kid and one misplaced Irken Invader found you all.

Let me tell you, it is the oddest feeling reading about yourself in different situations…and kinda creepy. Oh sure, we laughed at some, envisioning Zim cross dressing to become Homecoming Queen or at him making me waffles. (Sound familiar? ) But none of those came close to the ones about us dying. And death it was. So many stories focused on my pain and suffering. Even more seemed to end with my suicide or tragic death and how those around me dealt with it, if they even noticed. But in the myriad of stories we collected and read, so very few of you ever thought to ask what would happen if Zim were the one who died. So very, very few. Of course, there were some who had me killing him, glorious in that final victory, or destroying him in some heart-broken way, but not many ever considered him a victim. Why?

Can't any of you see he was more of the tragic hero than I could ever be?

Thinking back, I daresay Zim would have been well prepared for my demise based on your stories alone. After all, he had read about my dying in every way imaginable, from suicide to death by falling elephant. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we lived our lives by your stories. Truthfully, our lives weren't much different from what they had always been. You all blew everything way out of proportion. Yes, I was and still am "the crazy kid" and Gaz and Dad the same as well. Granted, Zim and I did grow out of our childish wars and eventually...well you know. Our peers decided it wasn't worth the effort to hate us, just to ignore us. These fifteen years of my life haven't been nearly as depressing and death-causing as you all seem to think.

Zim.

Yes, Zim, my best friend and more after a while. That at least most of you got right. But not his death. Why? Is it that hard to imagine that behind that alien exterior; my egotistical, self-centered, narcissistic Irken, lay a creature as tormented as the rest of us? He had been abandoned by his kind and exiled, with only one other of his people around. Betrayed by those he respected and revered more than anything, and you all think he was happy? We thought you people had thought of everything. Hell, you even crossed my world with Nny's. But why couldn't you see Zim's death? Christ, I am so unprepared to deal with this.

How could I not have known?

It happened last Tuesday. Why he did it I'll never be sure of. Maybe he just didn't want to wait for me to kick off like all you seemed to think was inevitable. That morning he left my house, without waking me, and left a note saying he had to go somewhere and not to worry. That he loved me. I found him later that day in a hotel room, dead, after I had forced Gir to tell me where Zim had gone. He had ripped off his pak and it lay next to him, still crackling with electricity where he had damaged it. Empty bottles of pain killers and human sleep medication were scattered on the floor. I assume tearing off his pak was agonizing so he downed the pills to ease the pain. He simply went to sleep, sinking into oblivion, abandoning me in my worst nightmare. Life without Zim. None of you warned me this might happen.

I can't handle this

A cast of characters stood around the hole when we buried him. A cast you all discredit and forget about. As I prayed for some of this pain to go away, I glanced at my mourning companions. From Gaz to Gir, Zita to Tak, I looked and prayed harder for some unforeseen plot twist that you love so much to bring him back to me.

And I still sit here, still reading your stories, still praying. Please. Somebody. Anybody.

Write me a Happy Ending.