Disclaimer: None of this is mine. None of the characters are mine unless I make up a few fake ones here and there like Helena. Who really is sort of like a portrait of Delia of Eldorne when you think about it...but anyways, just don't sue me.
Title: Ghost of the Past
Author: winky-wink
Genre: Romance/Humor/Drama
Rating: T (Just to be safe)
Pairing: A/J...unless I hear great roars of disapproval.
Musical Affection: 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' remade by My Chemical Romance.
(Yeah I'm aware it's no where near Christmas, but hey-this is a Midwinter Festival Chapter which is a lot like Christmas. And I'm feeling all the warm fuzzies haha.)
Author's Note: Rosemary's Granddaughter: LOL, yup. And you're Roger infatuation is the strongest I've ever seen haha. Btw, your story-sounds fascinating. And, um, I really don't know what to say about the rest of your review 'cause I don't understand it lol.
Dom's Angel: Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
Lutefa: Your tea parties sound intelligent! I love hating Helena, it's great. I'm not sure if Alanna is really a princess, more a very, very important Lady of court. And, yeah, all that etiquette stuff really bites.
Silveni: Yay! Yes, Varice was just random. Lol...put her in 'cause the Carthaks were there. I liked the foodfight idea too.
WitchyMage: Good to hear that you liked the King's Own part and the Tea Party Jubilee part. I rather liked the creation of Issac too.
Yasthira: I love that line too! And thanks.
dumb and jaded: It doesn't have to be lasting, I'm not sure if I'll actually stick them together by the end of this. It's still fuzzy. But I'm glad you're looking past it and that you liked everything else.
alana: Yeah, I agree actually. I wasn't epsecially fond of my last last chapter either. But I'm glad you liked this previous chapter. Thanks.
Sarralyn: Hehe, ok here you go...
Queen Alanna: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I don't want to rush into the A/J thing. I like making it an agonizing wait.
Tortall Princess: I know. LOL...and thanks.
Padme Amidala2121: Nope, not anytime soon like you guessed. Hmm...I might have more A/J in this chapter but nothing overly fluffy. That annoys me usually.
Angel of Dream: Thanks and yeah, what you said is so true. I like keeping things in disarray.
epobbp: Haha, thanks. Well, she's displeased of course because her rep. is ruined!
silfaeyn: Thanks for the tips and the compliments, they're appreciated.
Kokari: Lol, yeah. Poor you and homework! I had some too in science (mphftt! I hate science) and math.
Don't mind the blatant song lyrics in this chapter. It's sort of a song fic chapter but more so because I love what the song is saying a lot lol. Oh, and some words are changed around to better suit Tortall. Mostly changing the word "Christmas" to "Midwinter" hahaha. I know, I'm cheap, ok?
'Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest'-Unknown (Doesn't this totally apply to A/J?)
"Varice. Varice, stop crying, please!" Cythera soothed the pretty Carthak who was sobbing as she picked cookie crumbs out of her hair.
"Yes, shut your trap," Delia snapped, "Do you want to attract attention to us or something?"
"I believe that's pretty well accomplished with our appearance," Nessa remarked, sarcastically.
Through all this disaster, Alanna laughed. She was so true, it was funny. The eight young ladies that had that had left the Luncheon and Tea Party Jubilee, more or less ressembled a bakery that had a tornado whip through it. The worst of the lot were Alanna and Helena, who had rolled in a seven layer crumble cake for about ten minutes. Not to saythat the others weren't bad. Varice, for one, was sobbing, andhad numerous cookies clinging to her and even a stray tea leaf in her blonde hair. Cythera was supporting her weight, like a good friend, and not even caring that her gown was smudged brown from fudge. Nessa was slightly cleaner with one a few mushed bananas down her front. Etta was sighing dramatically as she picked cake out of her fingernails. Yolane looked funniest because she had her gown drawn up past her thighs so she could fan them to stop the burning sensation from the hot tea.
"If you're trying to be sarcastic-don't," she said, coldly, "We're about to pass the Noble's Mess and here I am, fanning my thighs!"
"At least your's are trimmed," Etta noted, then sighed, "Mine are huge."
"They can't be bad as Roxanne's, can they?" Cythera joked, then covered her mouth in shame, "That was unkind! Don't tell her I mentioned her thighs!"
"If I hear one more person mention thighs, I will massacre them," Delia warned, glaring at the girls over her shoulder.
Ironically enough, for these eight quarreling girls, being yelled at by the Queen had almost brought them together. They were joined in their fighting, might as well be joined in their shame, right? They walked side-by-side, forgetting that they'd only just wrestled like mad bulls. Alanna was actually strolling alongside Helena, imagine! No one had stopped hating each other, but they all knew they would have to stick together if they wanted to get out of this deep trouble.
"What do you think they'll say?" Nessa wondered aloud, "With us in our current state, the Queen's black eye and the entire court about to see us, I'm sure they'll be stories shooting around for days."
Helena snorted, "Knowing the men, they'll probably make it out as a battle over them."
"Wasn't it, though?" Yolane demanded, her thighs red and not looking to get any better.
Alanna thought it over for a second and decided Yolane was sort of right. The arguments had initially started between her and Helena over Jon. How embarrassing that she couldn't even hold herself in! Alanna of Conte wasn't supposed to fancy her cousin, she was supposed to fancy Alan of Trebond.
"Speaking of that," Helena added, thoughtfully, "Jonathan's mine."
"You can have him for all I care," the Lioness snarled in reply, even though she did care a bit.
"Stop bickering, will you?" Delia scolded, slowing down as they approached a door, "Here we are."
By 'here' she meant the Noble's Mess, since it was about fifteen to twenty minutes into lunch, most everyone would be in there. What a spectacle it would be when the most exalted noble ladies in Tortall crossed the floor, dressed up as cupcakes! But it was the only real way to go if they wanted to reach their chambers. Varice dabbed away tears, more embarrassed than the rest of them because she was foreign.
Even Alanna's face was growing hot at the prospect. Gary, Raoul, Jon and many of her other Knight friends would be in there now. Perhaps some of the squires or pages would even be tending to people. Steeling herself, she nudged Helena out of the way, and entered the Mess Hall before all others.
When she entered, followed by the other seven, a general gasp went through the crowd. Other young noble ladies covered their mouths and started to whisper, making up rumors already. The elders looked down at them, disapproval etched into every corner of their faces. Lady Winfred tried to blink the scene away as some kind of illusion, but, unfortunately, it was real. Abigail, who had been tending to her, almost dropped her tray of drinks in shock. Her reputation was ruined!
The Knights and the young noble men were the only ones rather pleased and amused. Most were enjoying seeing their favorite court trinkets with their gowns half gone, obviously fresh from a fight. Thom, sitting beside Jon, was clutching his stomach as silent laughter fell from his lips. Gary and Raoul were much the same, though Jon looked at them with raised eyebrows just like his father did.
No one spoke and after a few dreadful paces, they were out of the Noble's Mess. Once out, the girls broke out into a run to their respective chambers. After seeing the way everyone stared at them, the horror of their situation dawned on them.
In ten minutes, every one of the disasterous eight had thrown their ruined gowns off and were sitting in their baths, trying to scrub the icing out of their hair.
Alanna wasn't surprised to hear everyone talking about the Tea Party Jubilee for days after. To save her from her embarrassment, Winfred granted her the permission to go on being a squire for the time being. During this time, Thompulled himself together as some Lord with the help of another one of Eleni's potions. Abigail had also begun using Eleni's potions and was utterly fascinated by how she could sneak around the palace. She loved overhearing inappropriate conversation and enjoyed following Alanna around, seeing what it was like for a girl dressed up as a boy.
Being a squire had never been more easy. No one asked her to do anything because they all thought her lousy now that Thom had to go on as Alan for many swordplay sessions. The Lioness grumbled but didn't try to show her talent because that would only put her twin in a bad situation of expectation again. Her performance couldn't be so up and down that people would get suspicious.
"Did you know that Delia and Cythera got knocked off the ladies-in-waiting?" Douglass asked her one afternoon, while they were riding through the royal forest.
Alanna almost fell off her horse, "They did?"
"Apparently," Geoffery interjected, reining in his horse, "The Queen said they were major problems during the Luncheon and Tea Party."
Slowing Moonlight down a bit so that she could steady herself, she inquired, "What of Nessa, Yolane and Etta?"
"Let off with a warning," Douglass said, patting his stead, Thaybath, as the three friends passed under a group of bare trees.
Snow was falling delicately from the sky and their breath swirled up into the air. The forest was quiet-devoid of all wildlife. Midwinter Festival was three days away and the whole Tortallan court was gearing up, excitedly. This year was sure to be a memorable one since the Carthaks and the royal Aunt and Niece were present. Alanna had quietly bought all her presents for all her friends, this year including Lady Winfred, Cythera and Abigail (just to be polite) in her list.
A snowflake fell on Alanna's nose and she wrinkled it till it slid off, "And Lady Helena and Alanna?"
Douglass shrugged, "They were never in the ladies-in-waiting...but I'm sure the Queen's not pleased with them."
The Lioness gulped. She had always prided herself on being on good terms with the royal monarchs. At least it was only Alanna of Conte they despised, not Alan of Trebond.
"Did you hear that Carthaki, Varice, talking? She claims that Lady Alanna and Lady Helena were brawling about!" Geoffery exclaimed, grinning to himself, "I would oh so have liked to see that."
Alanna kicked her horse to a gallop, not liking to be reminded of the Tea Party chaos. Geoffery and Douglass followed suit and soon they were all too far concentrated on riding to talk to each other. She almost preferred it that way. Soon, they were back at the palace courtyards, kicking up any snow in their path. After stabling their horses, Douglass and Geoffery ran off. Alanna dawdled, not really caring for their chatter.
She brushed Moonlight and looked over to the next stall. Darkness was not there which meant Jonathan was out riding. This time of year was the best for the Prince and most all young men at court because it was now that young noble ladies poured into the palace from the Convent and various fiefs for Midwinter Festival celebrations and husband hunting. And, of course, everyone wanted a Prince.
"Hello Alan," someone greeted her, warmly from behind.
Alanna almost jumped out of her skin as she whirled around. It was Arram Draper, wearing a deep green tunic and tan breeches with a green cloak. He was fidgeting with its golden clasp, absentminedly as he stared at her, smiling. He was leaning against the wall of the stall and had walked in so silently she hadn't even been aware of his presence.
"How long have you been standing there?" she demanded, suspiciously.
Arram didn't answer her question but instead asked one of his own, "Wondering where the Prince is, I suppose?"
The two of them glanced at Darkness' empty stall and the Lioness decided he had been standing there far too long. She wondered if anyone else had seen her looking at that empty stall, thinking she was longing for her Knightmaster since she was so obviously queer in their opinion.
Playing on her annoyed silence, he went on, "Well since you're just begging me to say where he's off to, I'll tell you. He rode off with that Gallan cousin of your's. Lady Helena, I believe."
"Oh?" Alanna tried not to reveal anything in her voice but it quivered nonetheless.
"Yes, they've been riding around this time for the past few days. Do you think it's love?" Arram implored, coming closer and rubbing Moonlight's neck.
The female squire glared at him, "No. I don't think it's love."
"Don't you hope it's love? Imagine all the amenities if your cousin was to be Queen," the Carthaki mage said, looking at Alanna for any sign, any inclination that something was up.
She straightened her face as she'd heard they often did in the Yamani Islands, "Of course I hope it's love."
"Liar," Arram laughed, "You never cease to surprise and amaze."
Opening the door to Moonlight's stall and walking out of it, leaving Arram unless he chose to follow. He did, smiling at her, irritably.
"You're still trying to solve me then?" Alanna asked, rather amused.
"I'm halfway done actually," he replied, running his fingers through his hair.
"Let me guess, you've concluded I'm a lover of men? Or am I a mage? Or a Shang? What is it they're saying about me this week?" she questioned, laughing at herself. It felt good.
"No-well, yes. You're a lover of men but not in the way people think," Arram grinned, "And you are a mage. Magical with your Gift, magical with your disguises. As for being a Shang, I don't know about that. I'll look into it though. I wouldn't be surprised if you were."
Alanna froze. Arram Draper sounded far too detailed to make her comfortable. A lover of men in a different way from what people think? Magical with disguises? Could he possibly he playing with the idea that she was...a girl? Mithros no, don't let this happen.
"Don't look so frightened!" he chuckled, "I told you I was going to keep you're secret safe, didn't I?"
"That doesn't mean I trust you," the Lioness spoke, doubtfully.
"Then I'll just have to teach you to," the mage smiled, "I hope you're a fast learner."
On the morning of Midwinter Fesitval, Alanna awoke to find numerous presents at her bedside. More than she had ever had any year before and more than she would've expected. She looked them over and realized some were forwarded from Lady Winfred as gifts for 'Alanna of Conte.' Now, she wasn't a very materialistic person but like anyone else, she still loved to receive gifts.
Kicking off her covers, and Faithful, she swung her feet over the side of the bed, snatching up a present that was tied with a pretty silver ribbon. Thom was currently sleeping on the ground near Alanna's bed and woke as she gave a happy cry.
"Do you even know what time it is?" he demanded, bitterly, rubbing his eyes.
'And do you know I'm going to kill you for pushing me off the bed?' Faithful arched his back, offensively.
She ignored them both and held out her new brassly polished set of bow and arrows, "Sir Myles gave it to me! Isn't it great, Thom?"
He shrugged, still sleepy, "If you're interested by all that heroism and glory stuff then, yes it is. But if you're sleepy, like me for instance-"
"And, look! I've gotten a new practice sword from Gary and a golden helmet from Raoul," Alanna exclaimed, tearing apart ribbons and wraps like a hungry bear that expected to find food packed within them, "Oh and Lady Winfred's given me a new squire's uniform."
She held it close to her, smelling in the soapy clean of the fabric. She also went on to open more presents from her good friends (A wonderfully carved wooden saddle from George, home made cookies from Rispah and the boys at the Dancing Dove, a set of pink handkerchiefs from Abigail, a chess set from Douglass, a book with hundreds of illustrations and battle strategies from Geoffery, and a set of magical substances from Thom.)
In the a bag labelled 'from Cythera', she had gotten a make-up kit for her Alanna of Conte and a masculine ring for Alan of Trebond. The Lioness almost felt guilty for getting two gifts from her noble lady friend since it was really meant for two different people. However, she cherished them both as a token of companionship. Yuna and Isabelle had also sent Alanna of Conte things this year, a sewn cushion and hair ribbons. It was actually pleasant to open up boxes and find women's things inside them.
One of her more elaborate presents this year was the extravagant gown bestowed upon her by her adoptive Aunt Lianne and Uncle Roald. It was a spicy forest green with a bronzed layering. The Lioness fingered it, appreciatively. It was nice, yes, but after this whole charade was over she'd never have anywhere to wear it to and that was a sorrow.
'You might yet be surprised. You never know what you'll wear or what you'll do in the future' Faithful clawed her arm. Alanna glared at him once and pushed him off the bed again.
When she was finally finished opening gifts from immediate friends, family, and fake family, Alanna was shocked to find she still had about thirty other unopened ones. Who could they all be from? Curiously, she went to a smaller box, inside which sat a beautiful garnet bracelet. Her mouth gaped open. Who would give her such a gift? Taking it near her hearth, Alanna held it up near the fire. The gems glittered, beautifully, as if aflame themselves. She read the note along with it.
Dearest Alanna,
A beautiful bracelet for only the most beautiful of women. You will acquire much more of this bracelet's kind when you are my wife. Please take this as a letter of apology for the goings-on at Prince Ozorne's Great Ball. For truely, it is my deepest desire that we put that all behind us and continue to blossom our relationship. Expect to see me at the Midwinter Festivities because I shall look for you. You owe me far too many dances for me to let you go.
Love,
Roger
Setting down the trinket, the Lioness stared at it. How could someone so...wrong have chosen such beauty? Half of her wanted to throw the bracelet away and act like she'd never received it but another half wanted to clasp it onto her arm and wear it everyday. It was so lovely that it would be a pity to waste it just because the giver of it was a complete prig.
"Who's it from?" Thom asked, picking up the note and scanning his eyes across it, "No wonder you're so pale." He glanced at the bracelet and almost smiled, "It's nice though, isn't it? Too bad you can't ever wear it."
Alanna snapped up her head and broke out of her stupor, "Why can't I ever wear it?"
Thom looked surprised, "Well, for one, our smiling friend could've enchanted it with listening spells and all sorts of tricks of that sort. Second, once you start wearing it, it almost gives him power over you. You know how the traditionalists are, sister, once a woman accepts a gift from a man, she's practically bound to him."
"You're right," Alanna admitted, sourly, "He probably charmed it so that I would feel a strong desire to wear it.
Somehow, however, she didn't think her attraction to the bracelet was merely a spell. It was probably a little bit of female wish too. Ignoring that, however, she turned back to the rest of her gifts, and reached for one.
'Prepare to be awestruck,' Faithful told Alanna and this time, Thom heard too, 'It's really rather funny.'
It was a nice golden chain, obviously for a lady, from Lord Wayne of Hayback.
To the fairest Lady in all the court,
My heart, you never sought
But yet you still caught
I glimpsed you at the last ball
And it was then that I realized I had made a fall
For love, for passion, for heart's desire, for everything which you are
You had not know but I have watched you from a far
My entire being is your's.
Love,
Lord Wayne of Hayback
Thom made a face as he read this aloud to Alanna, while she tried on the necklace. Once they got to the line, 'I glimpsed you at the last ball', Alanna could not hold in her laughter.
"He's talking about you, Thom!" she shrieked, falling back onto her bed, giggling.
"You're just asking to be turned into a pig if you carry on that way," her twin retorted but even he couldn't help but blush.
To the siblings' great surprise, the rest of the twenty-nine presents were all also from desperate suitors, who wished to win the hand of the royal Niece. Alanna, who had hardly even talked to anyone, decided that most people were too greedy about getting a royal in their bloodline. All these young men really wanted were power and wealth that came from marrying a Conte.
But that didn't mean she and Thom didn't enjoy themseles poring and chortling over the various cheesy poems.
'And, your eyes so blue, like the carpet in the throne room...'
'Roses are red, violets are blue, I really really like you...'
'Alanna is beautiful
Lovely as a rose
Alanna is pretty
Not ugly
Never hideous
Alanna is nice too'
"It sounds like a two-year-old wrote that last one," Thom snickered, setting it aside, "Quite the admirers you have, dear sister."
"Great Mother Goddess, their poems are worse than Jonathan's!" Alanna rose from her bed, grinning, then froze.
It was then that she realized one very important factor. Jon, her Knightmaster, one of her close friends, hadn't sent her anything at all. No, she had to be wrong. Without even explaining to Thom, she began ripping apart her room, searching for the missing gift. He couldn't have not sent her something. Over a stupid kiss? No, no, no. That would mean that their fight was serious, which it most certainly was not.
"Alanna, what in Mithros' name are you doing?" Thom inquired, at the wash basin, cleaning off his morning face.
'What you're looking for isn't there,' Faithful told her, staring at her, unblinkingly.
"It's...not?" Alanna paused, feeling her eyes stinging.
So they weren't on the best of terms. So they argued. So they kissed. Did that mean he wouldn't even send her a card? That's the least he could've done. She had given him something after all. Suddenly she was infuriated with her Knightmaster and for even letting him have an emotional control over her. She was here to be a Knight, not a lovesick girl like Faithful had once called her.
"What's not?" Thom implored, drying his face now.
"Nothing," she responded, coldly.
If Jonathan wanted to play the game like that, then it was fine. So would she.
Queen Lianne would have a black eye for Midwinter Festival. It seemed Helena threw better punches than even she knew. Though, by now, her eye had swollen down to only the size of a small plum, it was still a hideous sight to look at.
Alanna, dressed as her Conte self, was sitting across the table from her fake Aunt, looking down at her plate, embarrassed. The Contes were enjoying a nice family lunch before the evening Midwinter celebrations. Prince Ozorne, Varice, Arram Draper, Lord Gugal and Lady Sheila had also been invited, just to be polite. Lord Gugal and King Roald were sitting near the left end of the table. Queen Lianne, Lady Sheila, Lady Winfred were near them, whispering happily. Roger was beside them, talking to Arram Draper, socceror-to-socceror. At the very end of the table, Alanan sat surrounded by Ozorne, Jonathan and Varice.
Snuck, tightly near Jon and Ozorne, the Lioness felt extremely uncomfortable. The two Princes chatted with each other fairly well and Varice occasionally offered a thought or two. Since Alanna was officially ignoring the Tortallan Prince, she said nothing. He looked at her now and then, as if expecting her to voice her opinion on the topic. She never followed through.
"Really, I believe the University in Carthak is the best in all the Eastern Lands," Ozorne declared, hornblowing about his homeland once again.
"Perhaps that's true, but Tortall has a better set of laws for its people," Jonathan countered.
The Carthaki Prince raised an eyebrow, "You're implying about the slaves? May I remind you that we're not the only country that has slavery? What of the Copper Isles and their raka or Sarain and its K'mir?"
"I'm not saying Carthak is all to blame," Jon replied, calmly, although Ozorne seemed miffed, "King Oron and that crazy Sarainian War Lord are at fault too. I'm just saying I think slavery is wrong, wouldn't you agree, cousin?"
He looked at Alanna, who looked nothing but nonchalant, "I don't know."
He frowned at her but Ozorne and Varice didn't seem to reason. They both went on to talk about Midwinter Festival in Carthak while Alanna and Jonathan were left wondering exactly what had gone wrong with Midwinter Festival in Tortall this year.
The first of fifteen Midwinter Festival balls began that very night. Thom and Alanna arrived together. This time each playing the part of their actual gender. Thom was wearing Alanna's best suit, tunic and pantalons ensemble in a nice tafetta color while his twin wore the pretty gown in spicy green gifted from her royal adoptive, Aunt and Uncle. The dress had appealed to her much more until she actually tried it on. It was a little tight under the arms which made it slightly uncomfortable but she would have to get through the night, anyways.
Nearing the festivites, Alanna distinctly heard music. One of the famous court performers had obviously gone up, front and center, and was probably singing, merrily.
I don't want a lot for Midwinter
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Midwinter tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Midwinter is you
The Ball Room was spectacularly decorated. Silver wreaths and ice sculptures graced all the tables. Special, magically lit, candles were strewn about everywhere. The room had been given a rather romantic setting and everyone sparkled with happiness. Lovers twirled on the dance floor, seeing nothing but each other. The Lioness noticed Geoffery and Douglass with their regulars. The Crown Prince was also with his new regular: Helena. Gary had, however, traded Delia in for Cythera tonight and they were both beaming. Delia was with Sacharell for the first ball and was glaring jealously at Roger who was chatting with Yolane of Dunlath. Even Arram Draper was dancing with someone else, Varice.
'Everyone's falling in love,' Alanna thought, fleetingly before glancing at Thom and clutching his arm more tightly than before. At least she had him.
"I'm starving," he complained, as if on cue, "You don't mind if I leave you to grab a quick bite to eat, do you?"
She sighed, "Just go."
He'd only been gone for a minute when another Knight came up to her and requested a dance. Alanna was so surprised she declined before she had even registered the thought. He walked away, downcast. She realized he'd been one of the suitors to send her a Midwinter Festival gift. Flushing red, she decided she'd better get to a corner before she got into another situation like that again.
Unfortunately, it seemed she had somehow become the new Delia. Where ever she sat, Knights and squires would flock around her. Whether it was in the bright center of the room or the darkest corner, they'd come asking to dance. To be fair to them all, she said no each time. Most, rejected, left her side. But soon, some of the more irritating ones stuck around, chattingwith her. It seemed just talking was enough now. Alanna scowled and tried to be disagreeable. Yet the more she attempted to put them off, the more they were allured to her individual quirky speciality.
"What do you find to occupy yourself all day, m'lady?" a squire named Jason or Jerry asked, coming too close for comfort.
"I like to be alone," Alanna replied, not knowing how much more obvious she could be.
Apparently all her suitors were idiots who couldn't detect a war if it raged right under their noses. Jason/Jerry laughed, as did the others, amused by the lady's dry humor. The lady in question was not mutually amused.
"I really wasn't joking," she tried again, wearily. They only laughed.
And I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Oh, all I want for Midwinter is you, you
"I wish they'd stop singing this," Alanna muttered to herself, tired of watching people love when she was stuck between boy or girl.
"Hm?" a grisly Knight inquired, "What did you say, Lady Alanna?"
"I said, I wish someone would fetch me a drink," she fibbed through her teeth, "Then I'd dance with them."
Instantly, the two dozen young men that had been stalking her all night leapt up, racing each other for the champagne. They were fools, she realized, as she got up and went off in search of a corner of the room where they'd be less likely to find her. She settled for a spot just inside the balcony, where she was safely guarded by a large-leafed plant.
Staring at its china base, Alanna wondered just how much more pathetic she could get. Here she was, in all her youth and beauty, the prime of her life, under the cover of a stuffy palace plant! Leaning against the wall, she tried to strategise a way to get out of the Ball Room. In her room, she wasn't afraid to spring her flow of emotions wild on the world.
I won't ask for much this Midwinter
I won't even wish oh I won't even wish. I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it to the heavens for the Gods
Won't even stay awake to hear the magic children play
"Just shut up," Alanna hissed to no one because no one was there to hear her.
Or so she thought.
"Don't like Mistress Reagan's voice, cousin dear?"
Roger. The Lioness clamped her eyes shut, trying to steel herself to be polite to him.
"It's not that, it's the song," she muttered in response, not quite mastering her manners.
He raised an eyebrow, "Not too keen on love songs, then? Strange, since love is in the air for you tonight."
He leaned, sideways, against the wall so that he could study her profile better. Alanna turned away from him, slightly, half afraid that if he looked at her for too long, he'd read all her secrets.
"For me?" she couldn't help but snort, "What makes you say that?
The Duke of Conte opened his mouth to reply but just then, a group of Knights and squires passed by, whispering, urgently, to each other.
"Where's Lady Alanna?"
"I don't have a clue! We left to get her drinks and then she was just gone when we returned!"
"Let's split up, that'll make it easier to find her."
Alanna's eyes widened as she zoned in. Was this what it was like for Cythera and Delia? Roger grinned at her, as if the young nobles had answered for him. The girl squire gulped, staring down at her palms.
'Cause I just want you here tonight, Holdin' on to me so tight
What more can I do
Oh, all I want forMidwinter is you, oh
Oh, our lives are shinin', surrounding everywhere
Where the sounds of children's laughter fills the air
And everyone is singin' oh I hear those church bells ringin'
Mithros won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you bring back my sweet to me
The Lioness looked up and gazed at Roger's face for a second before she realized she didn't want to be with him here right now. Catching his sapphire eyes, she realized she'd much rather be with Jonathan, even though she was angry at him. She was angry at him, wasn't she?
"Dance with me," the Conte Duke ordered more than asked.
Alanna shook her head, feeling downcast and un-ready to face his antics, "No-will you just leave me alone?"
He was about to comment when a noble lady gathered around them. With a witness nearby, he couldn't say anything that he wouldn't have said in front of the King. The squire smirked and her unknowing teacher frowned, then left. When he was gone, the noble lady came into view. She was wearing a mask, which while unusual wasn't that surprising. Perhaps she'd thought it a masquerade?
What was really shocking, however, was that this noble lady came over to Alanna and tickled her around the stomach. The Lioness giggled and pulled away, dumbfounded. Who exactly was this?
Abigail lifted up her mask to reveal her laughing eyes, "Don't tell me I scared you?"
"Abby!" Alanna whispered, harshly, coming closer and looking around for people, "What do you think you're doing?"
The royal Niece slid the mask back against her nose, "Having a little bit of fun so don't get all 'Etiquette Master' on me."
"A bit of fun? What if you got caught! You're dressed as a noble but you look like my new green-eyed, chestnut haired maid! That makes you not royalty which means you cannot break the rules!" Alanna snapped, indignantly.
"Tell that to George, it was his idea," Abigail shrugged, swishing her pink gown, prettily.
"George!" Alanna felt a sudden pang of jealously, "When did you talk to him?"
"When you weren't," Abigail replied, vaguely, "But I don't blame you. You with all your handsome followers!"
"They're annoying," the Lioness answered, her voice dry as sand on wood, "I don't know why they've taken a fancy to me."
"Probably because you're the most talked about young lady at court now after the Tea Party scandal. I have to admit I thought that was social suicide but it worked out great-,"
"Wait," Alanna raised a hand, "They like me 'cause I'm gossiped about?"
"Well not just that silly!" Abigail slapped her, playfully, "You're different from the rest too. A diamond in the rough. Oh and you don't look horrible either."
"Oh, thanks," the squire said, sarcastically, "I don't look ugly. Oh huzzah!"
The royal Niece pinched her side before scurried off before Alanna could retaliate. She sighed. Abby would never ever learn. Her whole life was one giant party. Shaking her head, Alanna slipped outside. Balconies had become her sanctuary of recent days. However, this time, the Lioness had not just sight-seeing in mind. Lifting her skirts, her feet were revealed, sporting combat boots.
Getting a firm grip on the railing of the parapet, she scrambled on. Steadying herself, she procceeded to climb the length of the palace wall till she reached a higher roof top. Though anyone who came onto the balcony now would see the so called 'royal Niece' clamboring up the wall, Alanna wasn't worried. In tonight's cold, no one would come out.
She reached a slanted roof and sat down on it, ruining another gown. Oh, well. It wasn't like she was ever going to wear this one again. Once she was there, she wondered how she would make her re-entrance into the ball without causing a stir. Alanna gave up on caring because it was impossible not to leave the court crowd awestruck when you were her.
Even here, the tortuous music drifted into her ears and wisped the frigid night air.
Oh, I don't want a lot for Midwinter
This is all I'm askin' for
I just want to see my baby standing right outside my door
Ironically enough, the door to the parapet opened. Alanna stayed still, knowing no one would see her up here. Unless they looked up, but really, it was too dark for that. Perhaps if she was lucky, she'd overhear an interesting converation. Maybe even a war story. Unfortunately, she was not lucky and the only voices she heard belonged to Jonathan and Helena.
'I could just kill myself right now,' Alanna thought, feeling the cold wet snow soak through her velvet gown.
"Tell me again why you wanted to talk to me about something, Your Highness?" Helena questioned. Alanna couldn't see her cousin but she had a great feeling that she was probably stroking his arm or something.
"Jon, call me Jon," he corrected her, "And I never said I wanted to talk to you about something."
"But you led me somewhere private which means a private chat ensues," Helena said, either smiling or scowling. Alanna couldn't tell in the dark.
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Midwinter is you, you, it's you, you, oh
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
You, you, you, you, you
The wretched song finally ended with tremendous applause. Alanna was relieved and yet disturbed as she listened in closely to the talk between her hated cousin and Knightmaster.
"Well, I can tell someone's clever," Jon noted, his voice sounding happy.
Helena's laugh tinkled through the air. Even her stupid laugh was pretty, "Not really. I'm sure not clever enough to figure out what you've got to say."
The Prince took in a deep breath and braced himself, "I think I'm falling in love."
Silence. Both Helena and Alanna were utterly stupefied. He was falling in love with Helena already? She let out a quiet moan of protest than mentally slapped herself for it.
"Did you hear that?" Jon demanded.
"Hear what?" Helena whispered, probably clinging to him.
They were both still. Alanna held her breath, praying that they wouldn't discover her. Luckily, they didn't.
"Oh, Jonathan," Helena cried, sounding overjoyed, "I love you too!"
"What?" he seemed confused, "No! I didn't mean to say I falling in love with you."
"What do you mean to say?" Helena asked, feeling rather angry.
"I mean to say, oh, Mithros! I mean to say I love someone else," he clarified, "So...I guess that also means I'm saying that I don't think I should carry on this relationship with you."
"You're joking," Helena said, completely disbelieving.
"I'm sorry to say I'm not," Jon said and Alanna knew he was looking the Gallan straight in the eyes.
For a long time, the couple beneath the Lioness were silent, each of them disbelieving. Even the Prince couldn't believe he was falling in love. He'd never been even close to love. He never thought he would be for a long time.
Finally Alanna heard a sharp smack. For one delirious second she thought Helena had actually slapped her Knightmaster! But it turned out just to be Helena slamming the door shut as she rushed off of the balcony. She'd never have the strength or courage to slap a Prince or anyone for that matter, who she knew she couldn't defeat easily.
Jonathan, however, stayed out on the parapet, keeping his eyes closed, as if he left the weight of the world on his shoulders. Alanna knew that feeling all too well. She was feeling it now. She felt the weight of the heir to the Throne's love weigh on her because she knew he had been talking about her. She just knew. What she didn't know was what she thought of this. Was it terrifying or was it the best thing that had ever happened to her?
"Jon," Alanna called out, her throat parched. Perhaps she should've let her groupies fetch her that drink after all.
He looked around, frantically, then finally squinted up at the roof top, "Alanna?"
"What other noble ladies do you know that would sit on a roof top getting their gowns all wet and mussled?" she demanded and he laughed.
"What're you doing up there?" he implored, smiling then added more seriously, "How long were you up there?"
"Long enough," the Lioness answered, hinting at the 'love confession.'
"Want to come down, then?" he asked, staring up at her right shoulder since, in the black of the night, he thought it to be her face.
"No," she shook her head, telling him where it really was, "My legs are too stiff at the moment for climbing. I'll wait till they warm up."
"You could jump," he pointed out, "It's not that far. And I'll catch you."
Once again she shook her head, "I'll wait."
He frowned, "You think that I won't catch you? Because you know I wi-"
"It's not that," she interrupted, "I'm afraid that you'll catch me actually."
Author's Note: Ok, short note. I can't really say what's to come 'cause I'm not hundred percent sure but I will update usual time...
winky-wink