This story was originally posted up here in script format, but I decided to change it, as that format's not allowed anymore and I just don't like writing that way anymore. (Makes me shudder every time I read my old stories that were done in script format.) I apologize if there are any mistakes in here, but I have done numerous spelling checks and such, so it should be hopefully error-free. So here is Konoha Christmas Carolers redone in proper format. I apologize if the story ever gets a little dry in some parts. Oh, and you'll have to forgive me for sarcastically "praising" Sasuke a few times in here. Har har har...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Good for me. All it's characters are owned and copyrighted by the almighty Masashi Kishimoto.

Another disclaimer note: I don't own any of the Christmas carols in here. Most of the corrupted Christmas carols in here aren't mine either. They are random carols I heard from random people at random times.

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Christmas was approaching the village of Konoha. Already spirits were up with the village covered in snow and strung with tinsel garland, Christmas lights, plastic reindeer and other cheesy Christmas decorations. Enthusiastic ninjas were out shopping for Christmas presents with their impatient little ninja children kicking over and harassing poor ninjas assigned to dress as Santa, elves, snowmen, and the like.

Now team 7 was about, standing on the beloved bridge that stands over that river, which had now frozen into ice with people skating on it, slipping and crashing into each other noisily below as team 7 tried to hold their meeting.

They, like the other teams, had been assigned a special mission, as it was so near Christmas, so it was a Christmas-orientated mission. (The horror!) They were assigned by the Hokage (Sandaime or Tsunade? I'll leave that for you to decide) for their special super-important winter holiday mission, they were assigned to...

"Go door to door in Konoha and sing Christmas carols?" Naruto cried. "That's a stupid mission!"

"I don't like it either, Naruto," Kakashi sighed. "but what we get is what we get. We should feel lucky that we're even getting a mission at this time of year."

"Yeah, but why couldn't we get a better mission, like team 10?" Naruto whined.

Meanwhile with team 10, Asuma was dressed up as Santa Claus, red pillow-stuffed suit, big black boots, white beard and all. Along with his elf helpers, Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji dressed in bright green and red elf clothing, pointy hats, and pointy elf shoes that jingled with every step they took.

"This is kind of boring! Why won't more kids come and see Santa?" Chouji said, as he opened a bag of chips.

"Chouji, stop eating! We're on a mission!" Ino scolded. "You should've been the Santa Clause. I mean you're fat enough to fool anyone that you're fat old Saint Nick!"

Chouji's eyes began to flare up as he screamed at the top of his lungs, " I TOLD YOU I'M NOT FAT! HOW DARE YOU-"

"Oh geez, Chouji, just let it go already! How troublesome..." Shikamaru sighed.

"Ok!" Chouji smiled, quickly flipping his mood swing over as he ate more chips.

"How did we get stuck with such a troublesome job like this?" Shikamaru groaned.

"Shh! Here come some kids! Act like a real elf, Shikamaru. Elves don't complain. They are joyful and behaved little creatures!" Asuma reminded his students as he lit a cigarette and turned to a kid coming towards him.

"Ho ho ho! Well hello there little boy!" Asuma greeted as he coughed.

"Sensei, we agree with you that elves don't complain and are joyful little creatures, but I think that you should agree with us then that Santa doesn't smoke!" Ino said, crossing her arms.

"Mommy, Santa's breath smells stinky!" The little boy on Asuma's lap whined.

But back to team 7 now...

"Yeah...Naruto's right. We could've gotten a nicer Christmas mission like team 10." Sakura nodded.

Sasuke looked over at where team 10 was "...I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you there." Sasuke said.

"Well, whether you like this mission or not, we're going to have to do it as it's our duty as ninja to do the missions we are assigned to do." Kakashi told the three genins. "I'm sure it won't be all that bad. Besides, a little Christmas spirit never hurt you guys!" He added, smiling.

"Oh yeah? And what did you do last year and all the years before that for Christmas, sensei?" Sakura challenged, hands on her hips.

"Well..." Kakashi started, scratching his chin. "I sat down and read my books...and thought about things quietly...yeah."

"Yeah, that's sure some Christmas spirit you have there, sensei." Sasuke scoffed.

"Well, I guess the mission we have isn't all that bad. Better than garbage duty, that's for sure!" Naruto said, lifting his spirits up.

"Good. Then I think we had better begin and start polishing up on some Christmas carols." Kakashi announced.

"Let's get to it then!" Sakura said. "So, who knows some good Christmas songs?"

"Umm..."

"Err..."

"…"

Those were the intelligent replies of Naruto, Kakashi, and Sasuke. Sakura stared at the three for a moment before speaking, "You're telling me that none of you know Christmas carols?"

"Well...no." Naruto replied sheepishly.

"Well, I did used to know some, but after a certain incident occurring when I was young, I stopped celebrating Christmas. I forget the words, but I think I know the tunes." Kakashi replied.

"Ok, that's a start. Naruto, you've got to know some carols! How about Frosty the Snowman?" Sakura suggested.

"Nuh-uh." Naruto shook his head.

"Jolly old Saint Nicolas?" Sakura asked.

"Nope." Naruto replied.

"The First Noel?"

"Don't know it."

"Rudolph?"

"Who are you calling Rudolph!"

"Not you. It's a song, you dope." Sasuke smirked at Naruto's ignorance, even though Sasuke was quote ignorant himself to the whole Christmas thing.

"You mean you don't know ANY Christmas carols?" Sakura cried in exasperation.

Naruto slowly shook his head.

Sasuke let a small chuckle escape his lips.

"Oh! And I suppose YOU know some Christmas carols, Sasuke?" Naruto challenged, fist shaking at the Uchiha.

"Actually, no I don't. Why would I waste my time with such things?" Sasuke scoffed.

"Didn't your families ever teach you guys how to sing Christmas songs when you were little?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura, you're talking to three guys who LOST their families when they were little. I don't think Christmas carols is something that'd we'd recall doing with our families in the short span of time we spent with them in our childhood." Sasuke told the kunoichi.

"Right...um..." Sakura mumbled.

"Why don't you just teach us?" Naruto suggested.

"Me? T-teach?" Sakura stammered, blushing.

"Sure, why not?" Kakashi replied. "We've probably heard the carols before, just haven't really learned all the words to them. If you sing a few out for us, we'll catch on pretty quickly once we recognize the tune."

Sasuke grumbled something under his breath.

"...And Sasuke says that he'll be happy to learn carols from you." Kakashi told Sakura.

"Alright! Now-" Sakura began, but was cut off by Naruto.

"Ooh! Ooh! I think I remember one!" Naruto said, smiling with anticipation.

"Well that's a good start actually. Maybe you aren't such an idiot after all. Go ahead and sing it then!" Sakura told Naruto.

"Alright! This is gonna be good. Believe it!" Naruto grinned as he stood, took a deep breath, and began to sing.

"Rompin' around the Christmas tree, have a horny holiday! "

A brief moment of silence hit the group. Sakura stared at Naruto for a moment and twitched. Sasuke looked away from Naruto, slightly embarrassed. Kakashi was breaking into fits of snickering.

"And...umm..." Naruto mumbled. "I forget the rest of the words. But you can teach me the rest, right Sakura?"

"Naruto! That's wrong to twist Christmas carols into perverted things like that!" Sakura said, pointing an accusing finger at the orange-clad ninja.

"And you're talking to the guy who made up the 'sexy no jutsu'." Sasuke reminded her.

"Actually, I found it quite amusing!" Kakashi grinned. "I bet his version is better than the real one."

"It's supposed to be "Have a happy holiday", not a horny holiday! Repeat after me, Naruto." Sakura ordered.

So Naruto learned the Christmas carol properly from Sakura. But he was just most likely to forget it within 3 minutes anyways.

"Yup, I was right. Naruto's version is more interesting." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi-Sensei, aren't you supposed to be serious about this?" Sakura sighed.

"Ah yes. I'm Sorry. But I do remember one Christmas carol or two I learned." Kakashi replied.

"Well, go ahead and sing them then!" Sakura urged.

Kakashi stood up, cleared his throat, and began to sing.

"Deck the halls with gasoline, fa la la la la la, la la la la.

Throw the match and watch it gleam, fa la la la la, la la la la."

Naruto burst out laughing.

"Watch the house burn down in ashes, fa la la la la la, la la la

Aren't you glad you played with matches, fa la la la-"

"No! No! No! That's all wrong!" Sakura cried. "Where the heck did you learn that one from?"

"Well...somewhere around your age, I went through this dark phase of the mind, and I made that song up after what I had done that Christmas." Kakashi replied.

(Well, we all know that Kakashi was a slightly dark and messed-up kid before Obito knocked some sense into him, right? For those of you who haven't gotten that far in reading the Naruto manga series yet, just go along with it.)

Sakura began to back away after what she had just heard.

"Wow, cool!" Naruto gleamed.

"Are you psycho or something?" Sasuke asked, staring at his sensei.

"No no. I'm sane now...really, I am!" The copy-ninja assured the three genin.

"Right...well it did happen over 10 years ago." Sakura said.

Kakashi nodded his head. "Very true."

"Well, that would have been a very nice song you sang sensei, if it weren't for the twisted lyrics and Naruto's obnoxious laughing in the background." Sakura told Kakashi. "You have a pretty singing voice already, so we don't need to fix your tone up like Naruto, and we just need to fix up the lyrics you-"

"Kakashi-sensei has a pretty voice?" Naruto gawked at Sakura's comment and burst out laughing. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Pretty! Ha ha ha ha-"

"Shut up." Kakashi said as he knocked Naruto on the head with his fist.

"Can we move on now?" Sasuke asked testily.

"Ok, Kakashi-sensei. Try again." Sakura told him.

Kakashi sung the rest of the song properly after Sakura teaching him the proper happy words.

"Good! Good! Now what was the other Christmas song you had?"

"Oh yes." Kakashi said as he cleared his throat and began to sing.

"We wish you a sh!tty Christmas, we wish you a sh!tty Christmas,

we wish you a sh!tty chirstmas and a crappy new year!

Good tidings we bring to chop off your-"

"What the-No! That's completely wrong!" Sakura cried.

"Really? I thought it sounded right to me. Well...it at least sounded right to me some 17 years ago." Kakashi replied.

"What kind of messed-up child were you?" Sasuke asked, half disturbed and half interested.

"I wasn't messed up." Kakashi defended.

"Your songs are so violent!" Sakura sighed.

"But they're so funny!" Naruto laughed.

"Didn't you ever learn your Christmas carols properly?" Sakura asked.

"You're talking to the Christmas-deprived man here, Sakura." Kakashi replied, shrugging his shoulders.

Sakura, frustrated, took a deep breath and sighed.

"Ok...this is going to be harder than I thought since an old dog can't learn new tricks."

"...I'm not old." Kakashi objected.

"And teaching Naruto will be like teaching a goldfish with the attention and memory span of three minutes!" Sakura continued as she saw Naruto flopped down in the snow, waving his arms about and laughing idiotically while making snow angels. "Or three seconds." She added under her breath. "So therefore, I'm going to now work more on teaching Sasuke!" Sakura finished blushing, as though it seemed perfectly logical to her.

Sasuke stood there, brooding as always and staring off into the distant horizon.

"Ok Sasuke, so what Christmas carols do you know?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know any." Sasuke replied.

Well, of course Sasuke didn't know any. After all, he's SASUKE. And he's too "cool" and all that stuff to know any Christmas carols, right?

" ...None at all?" Sakura asked, dumbfounded.

"None at all." Sasuke replied, still staring away into the horizon.

Sakura frowned a bit as Naruto and Kakashi were crouched down in the snow, making snowballs behind the two.

"Well, that's ok! I'm sure you'll catch on quickly!" Sakura smiled.

"No I won't." Sasuke replied.

"Don't say that! You're special and talented! This will be easy for you! I believe in you!" Sakura said, trying to encourage the broody Uchiha.

"I'm not saying that I can't. I won't." Sasuke said defiantly.

"...What?" Sakura finally managed to say.

"Oh boy..." Kakashi sighed as he looked over at Sasuke.

"What's this? Is Sasuke too stupid to learn Christmas carols? Or maybe he thinks he's too "good" to learn them?" Naruto teased.

"I never said-" Sasuke began.

"Alright then! I'm gonna be the best caroler in Konoha, and Sasuke's gonna fail!" Naruto cut in, grinning as he riled Sasuke up.

Sasuke turned his sharingan eyes turn on and turned to Sakura. "Alright Sakura. Teach me how to sing these carols! I'll just use the sharingan to copy what you do."

"Alright, Sasuke! I knew you could do it!" Sakura squealed.

"Yeah, yeah, just sing the damn carols already." Sasuke growled.

Blushing, Sakura sang out some Christmas carols for Sasuke to copy as Naruto and Kakashi pelted snowballs at Iruka, who was passing by. Luckily they were throwing these at him from far away, or who knows what kind of tantrum the high-strung chuunin would've had on them.

After using his sharingan, Sasuke then tried singing what he had learned. He surprisingly had not that bad of a singing voice for someone who never sang (enough to make Sakura almost have a nosebleed of affection) and had learned the carols perfectly, well obviously be cause he's SASUKE, right? And SASUKE is good at practically EVERYTHING!...bastard.

Naruto would not stand for being outdone by Sasuke again. So he stood up and sang what he could remember in his horrible singing voice. Sakura shouted at Naruto and cheered for Sasuke. After all this, the three of them were singing their songs somewhat nicely, aside from Naruto's off-toned voice and Sakura's occasional shouting at Naruto.

Kakashi stood back and smiled.

"Well, I think you guys have this cat in the bag." Kakashi said. "I have to go run some errands now if you don't mind. We'll meet back here tonight to go carolling. Be here at 7:00 and no later!"

"But Kakashi-sensei, you haven't learned the carols properly yet!" Sakura reminded him.

"No worries. I'll practice them later on today on my own before we go carolling. I've memorized them already, so it's no problem." Kakashi smiled before he added, "Looks like the old dog has learned some new tricks after all, Sakura."

With that, Kakashi poofed (yes, poofed. I don't know what else to call that ninja-disappearing thing he does.) Well, he 'poofed' away to leave the three genins to do their singing.

Please review. You shall receive cookies.

Also, I'd like to thank my friend Ozark for letting me use her made up corrupted carol: "Rompin' around the Christmas Tree" Thanks a lot, Ozark!