heya everyone. I found another thing i forgot to clarify-- Pegasus' was the only Japanese name i decided to use in this fic because i love his name, and wanted Megan to be able to call him "Pegasus" without it being his last name. so there you go.
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With only one day left before Megan had to leave, Pegasus remained worried. The two drifted in and out of each other's days, only meeting to eat and by chance in the vast expanse of the castle. At each greeting from Megan, Pegasus became more and more upset at the thought of letting her leave without setting things straight.
"Pegasus!" She'd yell, with a beaming smile. She would run up and grab his arm, walking with him as long as she could. Once she even kissed him quickly on the cheek before letting him go.
Pegasus sat in his meetings the way a bored student sits in class. He rested his chin on one hand, looking out the window and constantly needing to have information repeated from when he wasn't listening. He couldn't stop wondering what to do.
He could always just let her leave and never see her again. But for some reason, that didn't seem like the right choice. Even after what had happened last night, she didn't seem to get what was going on between them. He had meant to make her feel better while still telling her he wasn't interested. Instead, it had only helped to encourage her. Letting Megan leave with this still hanging over his head did not seem like a good idea.
The other option, then, was to tell her everything. Well, maybe not everything, he thought as he left one boring meeting for another that seemed exactly the same. Megan met him in the hallway and walked with him to his next destination, chattering happily. He smiled at her but his heart wasn't in it.
He kept thinking all through the day, cementing the decision in his mind. Obviously, he couldn't tell her everything about his past. There were always some things better left unsaid, better left in the past and locked away. Everything that had happened since Cecilia died was better locked away. But Megan deserved to know about her life, if nothing else. He didn't want to hurt Megan's feelings, but if there was no other way….Pegasus needed her to know. At least this way, she would go home knowing the whole story. And most importantly, she would leave without an unfounded hope that they would meet again. If there was anything he had learned from his life, it was that false hope was worse than no hope at all.
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Megan woke up feeling less than well on her last day. The minute she woke, she rolled over and went back to sleep. Her head throbbed, and the blankets covering her were far too warm. Eventually, she forced herself to get up and meet Pegasus for breakfast.
Not wanting to worry him, Megan acted just as happy and bouncy as she had the rest of the week. She ran up to Pegasus every time she saw him and hooked her arm around his. But when she was alone, Megan had to sit and rest with her hand to her head. The entire day passed in a blur for her, she spent so much time napping.
Whatever illness she had seemed to be getting better by dinnertime. She chattered away as she always did, smiling brightly and trying to get him to talk more. Pegasus seemed more deeply in thought than usual, and only smiled as though his mind were somewhere far away. Once the meal was over, Megan got up and started to the door. She paused.
"Hey, since it's my last day and all…I mean…will you come with me? I wanted to take a walk."
Pegasus also hesitated just a little. "Sure. I wanted to talk to you anyway."
Megan smiled brightly and once more grabbed his arm. She didn't notice Pegasus' slightly tense, sad look as she did.
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They walked together for a long time in relative silence. Megan's symptoms started to return slowly, and her river of talk slowed to a trickle. Pegasus led her around the courtyards and back around, finally stopping in front of his tower.
Megan was already a little drowsy and disoriented by the time they stopped. "What's up?" she asked, then looked up at the tower before her. "The West Wing. What about it?" She turned to Pegasus, who was still looking up with an unusually grave expression on his face.
Finally, he answered. "Come up with me. There…there's something you have to understand."
Megan followed him curiously up the stairs, half lost in the excitement of going into the forbidden room.
The light streaming in through the window from the slowly setting sun made the lights unnecessary. Megan was surprised at how small the room was, and how cluttered. There were several small tables set up with books piled on top of them. There was paper and pen on one, next to several unsent letters. But the first thing Megan noticed was the enormous painting filling one wall, surrounded by heavy velvet curtains. She walked slowly up to the painting.
"Her name was Cecilia," Pegasus said, walking up beside her. "She died 8 years ago, when I was 17."
Megan looked up at him. "Was she…?"
"Yes, we were married only about a month before she passed on."
"At 17?"
"Our parents wanted us to wait until we were legally adults, but she didn't have enough time. She had cancer, they didn't think she'd live another year. What she wanted more than anything else was to be married to me before her death." Pegasus allowed his long hair to shield his face and spoke with little emotion. It hurt too much to let those feelings free. "And more than anything, I wanted her to be mine."
Megan's head began to throb again. So many thoughts swirled around in her head.
He married her when he was only a little older than me…wanted to be with her…wants to be with her…what about me?
Pegasus continued his story, unable to see Megan's reaction through his hair, and unwilling to look in any case. "For a long time, I tried to get her back. I…well, let's just say my plans fell through."
Even with all this new, unsettling information, Megan's curiosity won out. "Is that why…I mean, your eye…"
He nodded. "I lost it in the process. The details aren't important."
Megan's head swam. 8 years…he must have loved her so much…I love him…he loves her so much…
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but you had to know," Pegasus said, still deliberately not looking at her.
I love him so much…
"I didn't want you to go away not knowing. I…I know you think you love me—"
He loves her…I love him…I do love him…
"—but it wasn't going to work. I…I didn't want you to think it would."
He doesn't love me…I love him…but he can't love me
Megan fell to her knees, suddenly feeling too warm again. Her heart seemed to beat against her forehead and her legs wouldn't support her weight.
"Megan?" Pegasus finally looked around to see her on the floor. "Megan, are you going to be okay?" He knelt next to her and held her up where she'd been about to fall again.
Megan was only dimly aware of anything else, but the feeling of his hand supporting her back was clear as day.
Pegasus put his free hand on her head. "You're sick! Why didn't you tell me? You shouldn't be out here if you're like this!" His heart raced: he'd been through something just like this before…
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It was a warm summer night, and they had spent the day together. The sun was high in the air and just beginning to fall when it happened.
They were walking along a path in the park when she fell down.
"Cecilia! What's wrong?"
She was shaking, and he bent down to help her up. She had to lean against him and didn't say anything. When he felt her head, his heartbeat sped up.
"You're sick! Why didn't you tell me, we could have stayed at home and gotten you help!"
"I didn't want you to worry about me…" she mumbled into his jacket.
He sighed. "I wish you'd told me. Now come on, let's get you home."
"Are you mad?"
"No, but I am worried." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you."
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"I…I didn't want to make you worry…" Megan said softly. His face went in and out of focus in front of her eyes. "Are you mad at me now?"
"No…" Pegasus jerked out of his reminiscence and helped her to her feet. "Can you walk?"
"Yeah, I'm okay," Megan insisted, and shuffled to the door and down the stairs with his help.
"…Here," Pegasus said at last, "Let me help." He adjusted his hold on her shoulder and reached down to pick up her legs. "You're light," he said with a smile.
Megan smiled back at him dimly and rested her head on his chest. Her smile remained, but her eyes were sad.
I love you, Pegasus…don't do this if you don't care…
She fell asleep in his arms on the way to her room.
