Life and Imagination
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but this story
Inspired by: garfieldodie
Italics mean: Calvin narrating
Chapter One-The Barracuda
"YAAY!" screamed Calvin. He leaped out of the bus and was charging towards the door of his house.
"I'm hooome!" yelled Calvin. It had developed into a habit. He opened the door with a wide grin and an orange ball of fur rammed into Hobbes's stomach. Inside a ball of rolling dust, they were exchanging insults.
"Tuna Breath!"
"Oatmeal Brain!"
"Go stick your nose in a food processor!"
"Idiot!"
"Compared to you, I'm Einstein!"
"Leggo my leg!"
After fighting, Calvin and Hobbes walked into the house all brown and covered with dust.
"What happened to you?" asked Calvin's mom as they walked into the house. "And look at Hobbes! His stitches are undone!"
"Don't ask me, ask Rocket Butt over here," muttered Calvin. His mom sighed and they went to the dining room to eat lunch. It was the end of school so Calvin had a strange, uncommon day called a half-day. There was only one a year.
"What's for lunch mom?" asked Calvin.
"Gloop in Green Sauce," said her mom. "I found it in an old cookbook." The name of the strange food made Calvin retch. He sat down behind his plate of Gloop.
"I have more if you want seconds," said his mom as she put a large helping of Gloop on her plate. Calvin dug his fork into the Gloop. It made a soft crunching noise. He pulled his fork out of the Gloop. He closed his eyes tightly and ate the Gloop. He began to chew. Suddenly, he opened his eyes wide and he closed one eye down. He squinted and grabbed some water and he chugged it. He thought it was going to be ok but then it became worse. He looked around. His mom was casually eating the Gloop while dabbing her mouth every few bites. He went under the table and he opened his mouth.
"THPWIPBTH!" Calvin threw up on the rug beneath. "Ahh…" Calvin said in a relaxed tone. His mom didn't notice a single thing. He could no longer eat the Gloop.
"Mom look!" screamed Calvin in an excited tone. "It's a flying squirrel!" She turned her head. He tipped his plate into his moms and ran away.
"CALVIN!" yelled his mom after him. Calvin was safe in his room with Hobbes. Hobbes had already been sitting upstairs with an empty can of tuna. Hobbes turned to Calvin.
"What happened down there?" asked Hobbes. Calvin told him about the Gloop and the flying squirrel. Hobbes gave Calvin a blank stare. Calvin picked up the latest issue of Captain Napalm from the floor and he flipped it to the first page. A black moustache was drawn across Captain Napalms face as he was facing the Amazon Girl. Amazon Girl had a beard.
"Hey Hobbes?" asked Calvin. "C'mere" Hobbes walked up to Calvin. Calvin leapt onto Hobbes. Hobbes ducked and Calvin jumped out of the window.
"Hoohoohoo!" said Hobbes as he saw Calvin's head stuck in his moms roses. "How is it down there Calvin?" Calvin pulled his head out and a mangle of thorns and petals were tangled around his head.
"I'm gonna get you for this!" screamed Calvin. His static-electricity head looked spikier with the thorns sticking out.
Sometime after the event above which was after lunch which was after school…
"Hello? Is this Spade Hardware (Ace Hardware)? Yes, I was wonder if you sell time-bombs and wire?" asked a squeaky male voice.
"We only have wire. How old-" replied the Spade Hardware manager.
"Just the wire…? Forget it then," interrupted the squeaky voice. Do you rent bulldozers or backhoes?"
"No we don't have those… How about a rototiller though. May I ask how ol-" began the manager.
"A rototiller won't work at all! Do you have a wrecking ball? No? Thank you good bye…" the squeaky male put down the phone. He walked outside where a tall tiger, about 5 foot 2 was sitting on the porch.
"Looks like another boring afternoon Hobbes," said the boy. Hobbes stared at him. A small silver car pulled up on the driveway.
"Hey Calvin," said Hobbes. He tabbed the boy on the shoulder. "Isn't that—" Hobbes was interrupted by Calvin's parents. Calvin's dad came home early because he decided to take half the day off. They rushed by Calvin and Hobbes and they walked up to the silver car.
"Rosalyn is here!" began his Mom as she walked up to greet her. Calvin stared and he zoned out into his own 'little' world…
"The Rozz-lyn is here!" said the dreaded Naggon queen, the Mam.
"Prepare for unconditional surrender Spiff (You behave yourself Calvin!)!" screamed the Naggon king, the Dahd. Zounds! The Naggons have brought the ultimate torture device! The strange two-legged barracuda called, Rozz-lyn. Spiff runs inside his spaceship and pulls out his trusty Death-Ray Blaster! His trusty sidekick, the Orange-
"Hey!" yelled Hobbes. Calvin was pulled out of his dream-sequence. "I don't want to be the Orange Fireball! I want to be…" back to sequencing…
Spiff and his sidekick, Spoof the Tiger loaded their Death-Ray Blasters. The Rozz-lyn stepped into the spacecraft.
"Die evil Rozz-lyn! Die!" Spiff screamed. He fired from his death ray blasters and hit the Rozz-lyn! end sequence
Rosalyn was hit squarely in the head with two darts. How the heck did that little idiot hit me with two darts? He only fired one… She looked at Hobbes. No… The tiger couldn't have… Rosalyn glared at Calvin.
"I'm innocent! It was my evil twin!" stuttered Calvin.
"BED," Rosalyn ordered. Calvin marched up the stairs and Hobbes followed after him.
"This is going to be one heck of a day…" muttered Rosalyn as she put her head in her hands.
I know… Calvin would never jump out of a window but oh well ;;… Please Review! This may seem like a collection of things in Calvin's life but you'll soon realize it is not…