Summary: Naraku has a talk with the miko of the future... She likes to throw insults; he likes to skim the issues. Who knew they could talk to each other without blowing each other up? Or.. they might blow each other up- not sure...

Author: Stationary Flower
Rating: K+
Series: InuYasha
Pairing: I think it'll turn into Nar/ Kag.
Chapter/ Part One: Discoveries and Confusion

Scene: Dungeon in Naraku's Castle

"Who do you think you are?"

"I'm Cinderella's fairy godmother, I have holy powers and I could purify your butt off if these chains weren't on me," the girl responded coldly.

"Ah," he cooed as he paced in front of her, "but you are chained. Too bad, no? Wait, wait, wait..."A hand was held up for pause. "Who's Cinderella?"

"Not telling," she said as she twisted in the chains that bound her and a jolt of something akin to dark youki shot out. Kagome writhed in pain standing against the stone wall, willing her body to purify the dark energy, but nothing happened.

"Your powers are bound; you know that, but you still insist on damaging yourself." Naraku 'tsk'ed at her while continuing to pace.

"Better me than you, you evil thing, you!"

"Oh, such a witty comeback from such a witty girl..."

"Stop fooling around and tell me why you kept me alive!" The girl shouted in indignation. It was so frustrating to talk to this half demon. He liked to play word games and it was driving her mad; if she could have, she would have pulled out the hair on her head one strand at a time.

"Because I wanted you to? Sheesh, don't get your undies all in a bunch! So I blew up your friends and they- for once- didn't rise out of the smoke like ancient warriors. You may care, but I don't. So I absorbed InuYasha's powers; you may care, but I don't." He stopped to stare at her before he resumed pacing.

"I wonder..." she paused for dramatic effect.

"Hm?" Naraku absentmindedly questioned as he continued his pacing in front of her.

"Did the transformed Tetsusaiga get suck up your butt, 'cause you seem just a smidgen meaner than last week."

The half demon hissed vehemently. How did that puny little girl manage an insult like that while keeping a straight face? It didn't seem to fit into the laws of physics.

"No, it did not, you little-"

"Oh, don't say it unless 'it' is 'miko'... I do have a name. I do have a title. I'd prefer if those two references were the only ones you used," and she promptly turned her nose up at him and her head to the side.

Wow, has she got attitude. Maybe killing the other shard collectors wasn't so brilliant- but.. I am so much stronger. I've taken over the Eastern Lands and the Northern Lands... "Okay. No, it did not, you little-" His voice became strangled as he tried not to spew out an insult. "-miko..."

"Hn. I guess that's better. Maybe we should try it again until it just flows smoothly. I like to converse with eloquent speakers so-" she was cut off.

"Well you're not eloquent. So why do you always talk to yourself?"

"What the-? When have I talked to myself? I've been talking with you, you numbskull!"

"All those previous times, when I'd be using Kanna's mirror to watch you and your friends. I saw you talking to yourself, so don't deny it," he chastised her.

"What the-? You have got to be kidding me! You're arguing the point that I don't speak eloquently enough, so I shouldn't talk to myself? What the heck is wrong with you?"

"Oh, nothing's different than before. I'm still myself one hundred per cent. Except... well, I have the half demon's powers, and I own Tetsusaiga..-"

"I thought that thing was shoved up your butt. Guess not... Hey- wait! You're making me loose focus! The real issue is that you killed my friends!" she shot out anger lashing away from her in waves.

"My dear-" at her look, he corrected his unspoken mistake, "-Kagome, you just didn't help your friends. That's why they aren't around anymore. Quite a shame really. You're blaming me- which isn't right. See, I'm the enemy, so it's practically my job to try and kill them. You... on the other hand, are on their side. You should have helped protect them."

"But Kagura had me unconscious! You're trying to mess with my head! Stop it, stop it, stop it!" She shouted back, shutting her eyes tightly and shaking her head.

"Ah...I don't mess with people's heads, I merely state the facts." Naraku smiled coyly. "So we can get back to the issue at hand. I killed your friends, blah, blah, blah... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera..."

"You have InuYasha's powers, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera... Oh, and Tetsusaiga is still up your butt, right? Hmm, what about-"

"It's not up my butt, you horrid little we-"

"Hey, no need for name-calling moron!"

"...What's a 'moron'?"

"Um... it's another term for demon. We use it in that form where I come from; it's slang..." Kagome was lying through her teeth and she knew it, but Naraku didn't so all was well with the world.

"Well, what's 'slang'?" the half demon asked slightly annoyed. Where is she getting these words?

"Slang's the way of saying a word- a shorter version of the word- which is usually a nickname."

"And what the bleep is a nickname?"

"Sheesh. Your mouth needs to be washed out with soap," she commented dryly.

"Soap is not used on one's mouth. You make no sense. Eh, back to the issues! You will surrender your holy powers so that I may use them as dark powers. Then I'll let you go..."

The young woman squirmed in her bonds. "Ah, I heard the way you said that! You want to kill me, you evil thing, you!" She glared as harshly as she knew how. After all, practice was used minutely on InuYasha...

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice. And so what if I want to kill you; I'm the bad guy remember, so stick with the script," Naraku sneered. "By the way... you already used the 'you evil thing, you' insult," he added mocking Kagome's voice.

"I don't sound like that, idiot."

"If I can't call you names then you can't call me names either," Naraku stopped his pacing to stare at her.

"Someone's got to, and since I was the first one to insult, I think I have all rights in this aspect." Her head bobbed in firm resolution.

"Whatever... You're still trying to keep me from the Shikon Jewel and that's not right. Since I've captured you, I think I deserve it. After all, you'll have no use for it in the grave."

Kagome snorted before breaking out into laughter. "What makes you think I'm just going kick the bucket when you say so? I'm the miko of the future, pea-brain!" She shouted as she gasped for air.

"What does 'kick the bucket' mean?"

"Oh my...gosh... It means 'to die', you idiot!"

"Stop with the insults, brat!" He shouted back. He was officially in a bad mood, layered by a headache, and he hadn't eaten since the girl had arrived in his miasma-coated castle.

This was a bad day...

"Oh, be quiet Naraku. Why don't we just both insult each other mutually. It's not like either of us is going to stop because the other says so..."

"Wow. You're rational. That's a fine quality in a young lady," Naraku commented in what seemed like honesty for once in his life.

"Are you analyzing me?" She asked in a panic. What a freak he was. How was she supposed to escape from this weirdo? She had always thought the half demon was calm, malicious, deceiving... What was wrong with this half demon?

She wasn't so sure she wanted to find out, she thought slightly, as she watched him continue to pace.

To Be Continued...