Disclaimer-I don't own Digimon. I also don't own 'Simple and Clean' or 'Hikari.' Nope, those belong to Utada Hikaru.
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Reflections
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Kouichi let out a chain of sneezes as soon as his brother left the room. Of course he felt a little guilty about hitting Kouji, but he just wasn't sure how to get rid of his anger...and...the rest of his emotions. Obviously, lying in bed and thinking about it wasn't helping.
Mom's gone, Kouichi thought, sitting up in bed, Kouji's gone. No one's home. After a moment of mental conflict, the boy got out of bed and headed to the living room cautiously. He stood there for several minutes straight, staring at the door. Finally he headed to the kitchen, where a bowl lay on the counter, covered, with a note on top.
"'You were asleep for lunch. If you don't eat, I'll let Kouji sabotage your room. Love, Mom,'" Kouichi scanned through the note with a sigh. Picking up the bowl, he headed to the table to eat.
After finishing his lunch, Kouichi walked back into the living room and stared at the door again. The seconds passed like minutes, slowly ticking away, similar to how a hiker would go throw deep snow. Then, out of nowhere, the doorbell rang. Kouichi continued to stare at the door as the bell rang two more times. His feet were rooted to the spot, glued there, as if he couldn't move.
Ignoring the tears that blinded his eyes, Kouichi waited seconds after the last bell rang, before he ran to the door, threw it open, and ran outside. In the distance, he could see Kako running off.
Holding out an outstretched hand as if to stop her, Kouichi tried to call out, but found that he couldn't speak at all. Shivering as he headed back inside, Kouichi sighed. Why? He thought bitterly to himself, Why can't I talk to her? Why can't I face her anymore? And why the…why couldn't I just have been happy with our friendship?
Closing the door, Kouichi gripped the knob tightly until he decided to attempt to play one of Kouji's videogames.
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An hour later, when Kouji came home, he found his brother on the couch. Almost immediately, the younger twin's jaw dropped. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the bandana boy screamed.
Kouichi looked up from the game he was playing and shrugged. "Borrowing your PS2."
"When did you get Final Fantasy VII?" Kouji whined, running over to his brother to watch what was happening. "I couldn't find a decent copy anywhere!"
Glaring at his twin for a mere second before returning to the game, the older of the two quickly found a save point, saved, then turned off the PS2, only after taking out the disc and putting it back in its case. Clearing his throat, he removed and pocketed the memory card, and turned to Kouji, instructing him in a cold voice, "I got it recently. In fact, I just got it today, while you, Takuya and Junpei were off bother other people. Now go make me something to eat."
Kouji stood there, shocked. "But I don't know how to cook!" he protested.
In response, Kouichi headed to his room. "Then I suggest you start learning. Need I remind you that the contract is still on," he reminded his brother before slamming the door shut.
Someone hasn't heard of mercy, Kouji thought grumpily as he walked into the kitchen. Just as he began to search through the freezer, though, the phone rang. Even more annoyed than before, Kouji picked up the phone somewhat violently and answered it through gritted teeth, "Hello?"
"Oy, it's Takuya. Junpei doesn't believe you got Kako," Takuya stated.
Kouji smirked. At least he got straight to the point. "Of course we're going out!" Kouji exclaimed loudly, "we've been going out for a long time!"
"What's it been? Two months?"
At least Takuya was getting the point now. Silently apologizing to his digital spirits, Kouji continued, "Yeah, something like that. Since Halloween."
A slam of the phone was heard, and Kouji chuckled and whispered into the phone, "Great, Takuya. I'll see you tomorrow."
"No prob!" the goggle boy answered before hanging up.
Smirking to himself, Kouji went through the freezer again, this time finding frozen pizza. He stared at it a long time before finally taking it out of the freezer and grinning evilly. Kouji chuckled darkly as he muttered, "Way to go, Kouji. Way to go."
His plan was on its way.
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In his room, Kouichi sighed. The one chance he had to vent out his anger was ruined. And he was even considering to play the game enthusiastically instead of violently pressing on the buttons every time he was in battle. After all, the plot had been getting interesting at the point that Kouji had arrived. And that character, Cloud…
Cloud reminded him of someone. He just wasn't sure whom of.
It was then in the middle of his thoughts that the phone rang. Usually, Kouichi wouldn't mind, but as he was mildly sick and extremely annoyed with almost everyone, he was especially annoyed with the phone.
Holding in a cough, he picked up the phone and was about to answer it, when he heard Kouji say 'hello.'
It was Takuya.
Kouichi would have hung the phone up right away, but the conversation…
'Yeah, something like that. Since Halloween,' he heard Kouji say into the phone.
Slamming the phone down on the receiver with all his force, Kouichi clenched his other hand.
Halloween. Kako and Kouji…they had been going out since Halloween. His own brother…
Sighing, Kouichi felt his heart sink as he sat down on his bed, recalling Halloween. There seemed to be no hint that the two had been going out at all, especially the week before Christmas.
"God, I must've sounded stupid to her," he muttered, letting out the long held-in cough and squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to ignore the pain. "How'd I get this sick…?"
Halloween.
He could remember it all well…the day before…
-FLASHBACK-
"Kouichi! PLEASE!" Kako begged him, jumping up and down.
His answer remained the same. Stoically, he replied, "No."
"Please?"
"No."
"But it's not gonna be fun unless you come!" she whined, sitting backwards in Takuya's chair so she could face him. "I'll even give you half my candy!"
"Done."
"WHAT?"
Kouichi smirked. "How else do I control your candy craze? I was planning on going anyway," he said smoothly, leaning back in his chair comfortably, arms crossed in front of his chest as he regarded Kako with amused eyes.
"NO FAIR! KOUICHI! YOU TRICKED ME!"
-END FLASHBACK-
Kouichi sighed as he remembered that moment and more. Finally, still sitting on his bed, he picked up his MP3 player from his side table and put the earphones on. "I need to listen to music," he muttered, pulling out his art pad and pencil from under his bed.
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Kako sighed as she ventured into the kitchen in search of chocolate. "Chocolate, chocolate, where the hell are you?" she grumbled exasperated, eventually finding a hidden bag. "Well, Halloween candy'll do," muttered the girl as she unwrapped a piece of chocolate. With a small sigh, she murmured sadly, "Kouichi never took away half my candy…but he came with us anyway. Oh well, more chocolate for me."
Popping the chocolate into her mouth, Kako was about to head to her room before pausing as she heard giggles. "Hideki," she muttered disgustedly in an automatic reaction. "Great. Wonder who the girl is now…?"
The door opened, revealing Hideki and his new girlfriend locked together in a kiss. They were so caught up, they didn't even notice Kako as they stumbled through the doorway.
Kako cleared her throat to get their attention. Glaring at her brother, she placed her hands on her hips and asked, "You're drunk, aren't you?"
"Me?" Hideki asked, laughing. "No."
"Hideki, get out." Her tone was cold. "You know what Dad'll say…" Things like, 'you're a bad influence on Kako,' and 'I'm going to make you move out.' I just can't wait to hear those…
Her brother continued to laugh. "Oh, yeah, and there are boys asking for you. What'll Dad say about that?" he asked in a falsetto voice, mimicking Kako.
His younger sister's eyes widened considerably. "I-It was homework!"
"Sure, I'll check the tapes later." Hideki paused as the girl beside him whispered something in his ear. "Well, you got lucky this time. We're going over to Keiko's house. You, however, will pay up later."
Kako watched stolidly as her brother had left, then slammed the door shut, unleashing her silent fury. "I won't let him order me around! It's not fair!" she growled angrily, heading to her room and falling back on her bed.
Sitting up, she reached for the phone, placing her hand over it lightly. She stopped almost immediately, wanting to tear her hand away from it as if it were a piece of burning coal, but found she couldn't. Drawing a breath, Kako murmured to herself, "Maybe I should call Kouji…and get more information…"
It was a start, at least. Then he wouldn't go around blabbing like the annoying boy he was.
There was a hesitation in her as she dialed Kouichi's numbers as slow as possible as if she would change her mind in the middle and hang up. Yet she pressed each number firmly, the hand on the phone tightening its grip and pressing the phone harder against her ear.
She held her breath as she pressed the last number. Someone talked on the other side of the line. Her eyes widened and she began to panic.
"Uh…hi…K-Kouji?" Kako murmured into the phone somewhat timidly.
"Hey! Kako!" he answered cheerfully.
Kako sighed in relief, the tension immediately lessening in the air around her. Thank whatever that it wasn't Kouichi, she thought gratefully. "I-er…" It hadn't occurred to her that she didn't know what exactly to say. 'Tell me more about you!' didn't seem to sound very…Kako-ish.
"Yeah?"
…don't know why the hell I'm doing this. She could practically hear him laugh at her. Not just Kouji…but Kouichi as well. "Uhm, just wanted to talk…"
"What's up?" he asked with a small laugh.
She paused. "How about we meet…uh…tomorrow. You know, to, uhm…well, to get to know each other better," Kako mumbled lamely, thanking the stars Kouji wasn't in the same room as her as she felt her face heat up.
"Sure! Lunch sound good?"
"Uh…y-yeah."
"Then I'll meet you at the arcade tomorrow at lunch!"
Kako said goodbye quickly before hanging up and covering her mouth. I…am…stupid. Did I just do that? Swallowing nervously, she looked frantically around her room before her eyes fell upon her PS2. "I really need to play Kingdom Hearts," she said miserably, hopping off her bed and in front of the T.V.
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Kouichi sighed and put the finishing details on his picture. The phone had rung while he was in the middle, but he ignored it, considering it pointless to answer. It would either be Takuya or Junpei asking for Kouji or some idiot telemarketer there to waste his time.
He held up his picture and placed his pencils down, scrutinizing every single detail of the picture possible. "Red XIII's tail is still iffy…oh whatever. I wonder if Kouji's done cooking…" he wondered aloud, leaning back against the wall his bed was against and closing his eyes as the music filled him.
And there was something familiar in the back of his mind…something he was sure he wouldn't forget for a long, long time.
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Kako sighed as she placed the controller on the floor and watched the scene on the T.V. "Stupid Sora…he's so stupid. And Kairi…sheesh! Why doesn't she just jump onto the platform he's on?" she muttered angrily. Quickly, she fell silent as the music started.
Simple and Clean…I used to love listening to it, Kako thought with a sigh, looking at her hands, then up at the T.V. I wonder…what Kouichi's doing right now…
Smiling sadly, she whispered the words to herself.
When you walk away,
You don't hear me say, 'Please,
Oh baby, don't go…'Kako felt tears stream down her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away and turned off the PS2 angrily. "Damn it all…he deserves better! Why am I thinking about him?" she yelled, frustrated with her miserable state.
She wanted…no…she needed to see Kouichi. Kouichi and his smile…
Kako turned off the T.V. and stood up, heading to her bed. As she lay down and closed her eyes, the rest of the song continued to play through her head…
You're giving me too many thingsLately, you're all I need
You smiled at me and said……giving me too many things…speaking of which, I still need to open his presents, Kako thought, sitting up suddenly and looking at her table where her presents were at. Various wrappers lay around, with no meaning, and in the middle of them lay the presents Kouichi had given her.
'Don't get me wrong I love you,
But does that mean I have to meet your father?
When we're older, you'll understand
What I meant when I said, "No,
I don't think life is quite that simple…"'
Life would never be simple for her again. Kako winced and shook her head in an attempt to get the song out of her head. It didn't work. Instead, it made her remember the part she detested most at the moment.
Hold me,
Whatever lies beyond this morning,
Is a little later on.
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all,
Nothing's like before.
"Well, Ms. Utada, the future does scare me! Stupid song!" Kako growled angrily. The future scared her…and everything had changed. Everything was completely messed up. Her life wasn't the same, easy, carefree one it was before. No, first she had lost her mother, and then her best friend all because she was afraid of him being her boyfriend.
No, she was afraid of commitment. She was afraid of being left alone once their relationship was over with. Instead, Kako had ended up shortening it, possibly ending it for good.
It could have lasted longer…maybe, just maybe, Kako thought, lying back down on her bed again, this time, Kouichi's presents beside her head. She turned to look at them, then sighed. Now…isn't the time…
Maybe next time.
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Kouichi had nearly fallen asleep when he accidentally pressed a button on his MP3 player, switching songs. "Wh-what the?" he exclaimed in surprise, immediately waking up and sitting up with a start. "I…oh…it switched songs," he murmured, leaning back against the wall.
He hated this song.
All the more reason to listen to it.
Donna toki datte
Tada hitori de
Unmei wasurete
Ikite kita no ni
Totsuzen no hikari no naka me ga sameru
Mayonaka niSo he was always alone. Even now, after finding Kouji, he still couldn't figure out where he fit in the picture. After rearranging all his group pictures that they were all in, Kouichi figured out a natural order for everyone to be in: Takuya and Izumi stood by each other, Junpei was a bit behind Izumi, Kouji was on the other side of Takuya, and Tomoki stood in the front. But in every single one of those pictures, Kouichi was lost…a black dot on a pure white piece of paper.
After all, he had the spirit of darkness, didn't he? It wouldn't make sense for him to fit in. And yet, he had never thought to quit once. There was no reason to keep going, was there?
Imadoki yakusoku nante fuan ni saseru dake kana
Negai o kuchi ni shitai dake sa
Kazoku ni mo shoukai suru yo Kitto umaku iku yoHah. Promises. There are none, thought Kouichi, now annoyed with the song. There could have been, had he just kept his wish silent and repressed. It was his fault for wanting too much, planning too ahead. And, after all, it wouldn't change Kako's relationship with his mother, much to his relief. They got along quite well, and Kako seemed to bring a certain cheer to his mother that wasn't always around.
Sakiyomi no shisugi nante imi no nai koto wa yamete
Kyou wa oishii mono o tabeyou yo
Mirai wa zutto saki da yo
Boku ni mo wakaranaiKouichi cringed. He had planned ahead. It was stupid. He had too much time on his hands, so what? Stupid song…has to rub it in…
Motto hanasou yo
Mokuzen no ashita no koto mo
TEREBI keshite
Watashi no koto dake o miteite yo
Tomorrow never came. It would never come to Kouichi. Not while he was like this, sick, confused, hurt, angry…no, he was still stuck in Christmas. He would be stuck there forever. He was forever lost.
And he could never look at anything the same again.
Rewinding the song, Kouichi replayed certain parts to punish himself before he realized that Kouji still hadn't finished cooking. Annoyed, he was about to get up when Kouji came through the door, holding a plate with two slices of pizza.
"Achem, now sit back, relax, and listen," Kouji said, placing the pizza on his brother's desk before clearing his throat. And then…much to Kouichi's distress, he began to sing,
"A Pizza Hut,
A Pizza Hut,
Kentucky Fried Chicken,
And a Pizza Hut,
McDonalds, McDonalds,
Kentucky Friend Chicken,
And a Pizza Hut!"Kouichi gripped the bed sheets tightly to restrain himself from murdering Kouji on the spot. "Kouji…" he said in a low voice.
Kouji just laughed. "Did you like the song? I thought it was appropriate, you know, considering you're having pizza for dinner and all! So, did you like it?" asked the younger twin eagerly.
In response, Kouichi threw his pillow at Kouji, yelling, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW!"
Kouji quickly dove out of Kouichi's room in horror. He's a monster! he thought, sniffing. "Some brother…"
Kouichi slammed the door shut and leaned against it, staring at the pizza. Idiot Kouji…even Utada Hikaru's stupid songs make me happier than that…
Yet he smiled a small smile, one that was sad. "I guess…I'm hoping for too much…as usual," whispered Kouichi softly as he sat at his desk and began to eat, his MP3 player and art pad lying on his bed somewhat carelessly.
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A/N-
.:sniffs:. Wow, I'm sick, too. Anyway, Kouichi fans hate me? I hate myself, too. .:sobs:. Poor Kouichi, he must feel bad! But he gets to play videogames, so he got lucky. Sorry I took forever to update. Homework, had Marching Band performance yesterday, and yeah…no time that week. Hopefully this week…
.:Kouichi:. Go fix your disclaimer, loser.
Shut up! Just because Kouji gets to date a girl you like, doesn't mean you have to take your anger out by ordering me around!
.:Kouichi:. And go finish Of Broken Hearts And Jealousy.
So…I incorporated a song. I should have made it better. I mean, honestly, it's so ick! Oh well…hopefully, the next song I incorporate will be…better? Review and give me a bit of insight on that. That's my first time ever adding a song to a fic, and it seems…bad.
Review or Flame.