Summary: Naraku has a talk with the miko of the future... She likes to throw insults; he likes to skim the issues. Who knew they could talk to each other without blowing each other up? Or.. they might blow each other up- not sure...
Author: Stationary Flower
Rating: K+
Series: InuYasha
Pairing: I think it'll turn into Nar/ Kag.
Chapter Two: Beauty Pageants and Waiting for Club Crackers
Scene: Dungeon in Naraku's Castle, again
It had been two days since Naraku had first interrogated her- never mind the fact that they got way off topic- and she was fully exhausted. Oh, it was only that his stupid questions and incessant nagging about the Jewel were so-
"-stupid."
"What was that, dear?" The question was punctuated by the slam of the dungeon door.
"Nothing you ugly, old bat. Can I have a jacket? And some warm water? Maybe some crackers?" She hadn't even bothered to look at him.
"You are so audacious as to believe I would acquiesce your demands after such an insult," Naraku sneered. "But if only those cruel words could be used as cruel spells; you'd be so... perfect."
In the background, a faint gagging noise was heard, but the half demon paid no mind.
"Eww. Now I just imagined you as a bat. An ugly and old bat. What with that oh-so-ugly face yapping on and on about stupid plans. Eww," Kagome commented.
"Oh, stop it. Now for the hundredth time, give me the Shikon, girl!"
"Oh, stop it," she mocked, deepening her voice. "I have a name you arrogant SOB sucker of--"
"I don't... want to know what you planned to say... or what SOB means." He clenched his teeth in an effort not to scream- she, this... Kagome- she was so frustrating!
She glared at the black-haired male beauty. Yeah, she'd admit she thought he had an effeminate beauty to him. But what really bugged her about him was most likely because he was more beautiful than she was- and since she wasn't that gorgeous in the first place, that caused some conflicting emotions.
Not to mention the obvious.
Guys should never be prettier than girls.
It was just wrong.
While her wrists were still shackled above her head against the wall, Kagome shuddered. Guys being prettier than girls. Nasty concept. Oh, not that she had anything against guys that wore makeup back in her time. Or gays for that matter; she was cool with them. But Naraku?
Naraku was straight.
And still more beautiful than any girl she'd ever seen, past or present.
And she promptly burst out laughing at the concept of Naraku in her time wearing drag. Her friends would fall head-over-heels for him if he were to be paraded around like that. The possibility of entering him into a beauty pageant for the Miss Tokyo of the Winter Festival sprung up immediately after, with a chibi Naraku strutting down a poorly crayon-drawn catwalk, in an imagination bubble.
"Oh, you don't, do you?" Kagome giggled.
The half demon's red eyes flashed dangerously as he eyed her suspiciously. Something was obviously wrong with this girl. She was a mental case! She was laughing like a lunatic, and aside from the fact that she was mumbling incoherently about women's clothing on men, it was obvious from the gleam in her eyes that she was in another world.
Another quiet chuckle broke him from his thoughts. "I can't believe it! Aren't you supposed to be smart?" She shouted. "SOB's an acronym! It stands for Son Of a Bi–"
"Shut up!" Naraku interrupted her suddenly, a growl escaping his throat unwarranted. He knew what the next word was supposed to be.
"Something wrong, sweetie?" The chained girl sneered uncharacteristically. "Can't take a dose of your own medicine?"
No, no. Not again! How- again, how was it possible to have these insults come from such a supposedly pure being? It just wasn't fair! Why couldn't he be a bit more creative when he was in a bad mood? Naraku began pacing in front of her again when he got closer, just as he had done two days prior.
"No. Nothing is wrong, shnookems." Where the heck did that come from!
Kagome laughed abruptly, making the cold dark lord trip on a stone. This game of sorts that they had come to play was so entertaining, Kagome supposed, as neither of them knew what the other was thinking or would say next. She didn't even know what she would say next!
"Aww, you care for me that much, darling?" The chained girl cooed.
"No, you little b–"
"Hey! What did I say about name-calling, dimwit?" She spat out vehemently.
"Oh, you want to play this way, eh? Well fine you little slut! Prancing around in your pathetic clothes!"
"Ooo, don't you even go there! At least I don't sleep around like you do, you wannabe pimp, man who-"
She was silenced by a hand covering her mouth, pressing none-too-gently. Painfully bruising in fact. And the only thing she could think of to do was bite back with vengeance.
Literally bite.
Kagome, the miko from the future, found out that Naraku didn't just bleed like any other living creature, but he also yelped like a prissy little girl. The screech that emanated from the surprised half demon's mouth was piercing and revolting to the ears.
"Oh don't be so whiny! You heal quicker than anyone I know! Even Sesshoumaru was slower than you!"
He stopped his cursing abruptly. It sounded vaguely like she was trying to comfort him... How strange. No matter where she was, or the situation she had placed herself in, she still retained that horrible innocence that attracted pathetic demons from across the land. For some reason, Naraku found that slightly endearing.
Oh, nasty thoughts! He screamed silently at himself. What was wrong with him? This little witch was doing something horrible to him! It was time to put a stop to this, he thought, composing himself.
"Well, thank you for the cheer-up, girl, but I don't need it. I know that I'm superior to even that self-righteous and egotistical demon lord," he huffed and turned his nose up.
"Well fine then, you jerk!" Kagome shouted back twisting so she looked at one of the dungeon cell walls rather than his childish attitude.
"I'm not a jerk, you brat!" He retaliated.
"I'm no brat, you- you, you... you evil thing, you!" She could only come up with.
Oh, the woes of no food for two and a half days...
"So clever! I wish I had your intelligence, Kagome," Naraku sneered before turning around and walking five steps to the door.
"Oh sod off, you pea-brain! Now why can't you treat me with some decency? I'm, like... sacred too! I can find the last jewel shards! Remember, there's still a chunk missing..." She batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly when he turned and faced her.
"'Sod off'? That term... Where did you learn that? And, what in the seven levels of hell does it mean?" He growled.
"Here's a simpler way of saying it! Piss off, you fruitcake!" Her dark brown eyes somehow lit up in the dark, glowing menacingly.
"Why don't you?" He shouted back.
"Because I told you to first, you imbecile!"
He huffed, scowling, to which the girl returned all too happily. "I'll be back later for you!" With that he slammed the dungeon door and left the miko in inky darkness.
Well good riddance to the loser with a god complex...
To Be Continued...
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