Part 3

December 7th

"All right people. Titans East will be arriving in three days, as Speedy has convinced Young Justice to watch Steel City for them during Christmas. Just what Speedy had on Young Justice to get this to happen, I don't know, but Titans East will be arriving on the 10th. Let's do the check list, just to be sure we're ready. Now, none of them belong to a religion that had dietary restrictions?" Robin asked.

"Check." Savior said.

"We've hidden anything remotely incriminating that could feed into that East vs West rivalry that SOMEONE THOUGHT WOULD BE FUN TO START?"

"For the last time, all I did was challenge Speedy to a Pepsi drinking contest. How was I supposed to know he was THAT hyper-competitive?" Gauntlet protested.

"Right. Ok, who's in the kitchen this year?" Robin asked.

"I am." Terra and Sophie said at the same time, and then they both blinked and looked at each other. "What? No! I am!" They both said at the same time again. Robin rolled his eyes.

"Girls! Please remember: we have extra people this year, and you two are the best cooks! Can you please put your little feud aside for the sake of the meal?"

The two women didn't answer, but the way sparks were shooting from their eyes gave a fair idea of what they thought of Robin's request.

"Anyway, girls, what are we doing this year?"

"…I'll be doing the Tofurkey." Terra said, finally turning back from Sophie.

"All right. Sophie, what are we having this year. Ham? Turkey? A roast?"

"Actually this year I plan to do a variant on the Turducken." Sophie said.

"…What?" Robin said.

"Turducken. You see, it's a turkey with a duck stuffed in it with a ham stuffed in that, filled with ranch dressing and then deep fried."

Everyone stared at the woman. Beast Boy looked horrified, while Starfire blinked.

"As it begun raining in here…" She said, and then looked up to find that Cyborg was drooling on her. "Oh."

"…Sophie are you kidding?" Robin asked.

"Nope."

"…Sophie, why do something that risky when we HAVE GUESTS?" Noel asked, trying not to sound crabby and failing.

"I'm doing it on a dare, actually."

"I prefer to call it a challenge." Rob said. Raven and Starfire promptly stopped Noel from strangling the teen.

"Come on Noel. If anyone can pull it off, it's my girl." Nigel said, and patted Sophie's leg. Sophie proceeded to frown at being called 'my girl' like she was a dog and hit Scalpel on the knee. "Owtch!"

"…Fine. But we're going to purchase an extra small turkey, just in case. That way we can have turkey, tofurkey, and whoever wants a slice of instant heart attack." Noel said. "On a less happy note, do we have any word on who supplied that gear for the robber?"

"Nothing yet."

"All right, then I'm going to go out and rattle a few trees and see what gifts fall out." Savior said, and jumped off the couch and ran off.

A few seconds later, a just teleported Raven returned, dragging Savior by the ear.

"Bad Noel. No biscuit." She said, making him sit down again.

"You know we're going caroling tonight Noel. Just for that, you can be the elf." Robin said.

"No."

"Yes. It's an order."

"Robin, if you ordered it I would run into fire, I would march off a cliff, I would go off to die on some god-forsaken rock…but I will NOT dress up as an elf."

Raven whispered something into Noel's ear.

"That usually works my dear, but not this time." Savior said. Raven looked astonished.

And then, it appeared a small epiphany came to Noel.

The smile he got would remind a lot of people of the expression of a famous Suessian character oft associated with this time of year.

"…But I am open to something. Tell you what Robin, rather then start a fight, I'll play you for the whole elf thing."

Robin smirked.

"You're on. What game?"

From somewhere in his jacket, Noel produced a deck of cards.

"Poker."

"Dude, when we get back, we make a note on how we never let Noel challenge us for anything in a game of poker." Beast Boy said, dressed as an elf.

"Oh come on man, it's not that bad." Cyborg replied.

"Not that bad? Who's dressed as the elf?" Beast Boy asked.

"Who cares about that? He now owns my firstborn!" Sophie mock-lamented.

And Terra got hit with another snowball.

"ARGH NOT AGAIN!"

The Titans weren't alone in their caroling: Jump City actually had a few 'Caroling Nights' where large groups of people would gather and sing them together, and in some of the public areas, had unofficial 'Caroling Contests' if there was a stage or anything that could be used as a stage. The Titans ended up in the main one, which due it being in the main square of Jump City, actually had a group of musicians to provide lyrics. This lead to an evening where the Titans mostly goofed off on the stage, while a pair or so of them prowled around and made sure the peace was kept. As the night wore down however, the Titans decided to send off the crowd with something special, and after some brief organizing, all of them headed on stage.

Cyborg and Starfire stepped out to the front. While all their previous songs had been 'generic', the next one was not, and could potentially give implications that the Titans didn't want made. However, they also didn't want to go on stage and treat the audience like children by explaining this, so they settled for just singing it. If anyone asked, they would explain the song spoke nothing of any of their personal beliefs: they just could sing it well, and they all liked it.

The reason Cyborg and Starfire were at the front was because they were going to be the main singers. Starfire was obvious, but Cyborg was out there because the way he was going to sing the song sounded best if it was done a certain way. Cyborg, using his body to alter and modulate his voice, was the only one able to project the proper tone, which was a powerful operatic one. It was a bit strange to hear Cyborg sounding like an opera singer, but since he was just trying to entertain the crowd and not pass off his altered and very carefully modulated voice as his own, there was no harm done.

The crowd went quiet, and then Robin gestured to the guest musicians, who began. Cyborg took a deep breath to calm his nerves: he'd done this a few times but just for his friends in the tower, not a crowd.

But like in heroing, Cyborg came through, as he began the chosen song.

"Adeste fidelis!" Cyborg sang. "Laeti triumphantes! Venite, venite in Bethlehem…Natum videte! Regem angelorum! Venite adoremus…venite adoremus…VENITE ADOREMUS…DOOOOOOMINUM!"

A brief pause, as Cyborg stepped back and Starfire stepped forward. He'd sung in Latin, while she would sing the song in English.

"Oh come, all ye faithful…" She softly sang in contrast to Cyborg's booming tenor. "Joyful and triumphant. O come ye, o come ye to Bethlehem. Come and behold him… Born the King of Angels. O come let us adore him…O come let us adore him… O come let us adore him…Christ the Lord."

Another pause, and then Cyborg and Starfire started up, this time at the same time, each doing their own language. Somehow, it perfectly blended. Even more so when all the Titans joined in, Savior, Robin, and Raven backing up Cyborg and Terra, Gauntlet, Scalpel, and Sophie backing up Starfire.

Too bad it wasn't filmed. It, at least this time, would have put anything on American Idol to shame, as the group did the whole last verse together before the song ended.

And the crowd went wild.

Nice little performance there.

Why thank you. Thought I should explain the story title.

You are aware though that without music whatever effect you wanted to accomplish is severely muted.

Ugh. Must you dump on everything I do? It's based on Luciano Pavarotti's and Vanessa Williams' performance on the December 12th, 1998 edition of Saturday Night Live, they air it every year on their Christmas special, it's not hard to find.

Ah, but the readers didn't know that.

They do now!

Now, about the lyrics…

Argh! I am not having this argument! Moving forward!

December 8th

"You seem better now." Raven said to Noel as they strolled through the hallway.

"One just needs a reminder of the good things in the season. Besides, I'd better keep an eye on the guys when we decorate the tree." Noel replied. The Titans had finally gotten said tree this morning, and as Noel and Raven walked into the room, it had been set up.

And Cyborg was making a pitch.

"…you, it will shave minutes off our time…" Cyborg said.

"Vic, before you do anything, have you worked out all the bugs yet?" Robin asked.

"Yes!…In theory."

"Oh no, are we being introduced to this year's version of the specially designed cannon?" Noel asked.

"Nope." Cyborg said. Noel looked relieved.

"It's this year's specialized designed bazooka!" Cyborg crowed, lifting up a giant piece of ordnance.

"…I'm going to go get the lights." Noel said, turning and heading out of the room.

"I'll help." Raven said, following.

"Ditto." Terra said as she also followed.

"Good idea." Scalpel added as he too fell into line.

"The best." Sophie finished, also leaving.

"Oh come on guys! This is me we're talking about here!" Cyborg protested.

"Victor, while I understand your enthusiasm for building, as well as your human need for celerity, I must point out that our group consists of three friends and myself who possess above-average strength, two friends and myself who are capable of flight, a friend who can charm nature with words from dark scary books to prevent such things as drying out and premature tree death, two friends with rope talents to get into the most complicated nooks and crannies, and a leader, who is also a wondrous man, who always makes it so the pine tree that serves as one of this season's denominations never falls over…so why would be need to increase the velocity of this ritual any more?" Starfire said.

"Well um…uh…because it would look cool?" Cyborg suggested.

"He's got my vote!" Beast Boy said.

"And mine!" Gauntlet echoed. Robin glared at them.

"…Vic, before you do anything, I insist on a test."

"Sure thing Tim!" Cyborg said, as he went over and fetched a hat rack, setting it against a wall. "Now, watch as my marvelous device turns that simple wood stand into…well, a simple wood stand with tinsel on it." Cyborg said, and aimed.

"…………I did not think it was possible for strands of metallic colored paper to penetrate hard stone." Starfire commented twenty seconds later, looking at the ruin of what had once been a hat rack.

"…Ok. Maybe it still has a few more bugs to work out." Cyborg said, as he hid the large gun behind his back. Robin gave him a look that was part glare and part wry expression. "Besides, anyway, I have some other stuff! Wait until you check out my Christmas ball launcher…"

"…Cyborg, Christmas orbs are made out of a fragile painted glass. Our windows are composed of a super-dense polycarbonate thermoplastic that has seven times the tensile strength of steel." Robin said, and then pointed to the several small holes that were now in said window. "So please, explain this."

"…Uhhhhhh…put that on the needs more work list too." Cyborg said. "Well, my next one…"

"No more next ones!"

"Yes, I fear that if you produce a device to place the star on the tree, it will somehow rend the fabric of space and time." Starfire commented.

"Ha ha." Cyborg said, as he reached under a table and produced a hose. "This is my Snow Storm cannon. It will do something even we can't do quickly: spray fake snow on the Christmas tree. It's just a basic fire hose, so don't worry, this won't be a problem…"

Noel returned with his friends, all of them carrying boxes, to see Robin exiting the room. He looked like he had been thrown up on by Frosty the Snowman. He glared at the group, more out of general anger then any acrimony between them, and then stalked off.

"…I think we missed something." Savior commented.

"And all in favor of NOT horsewhipping Cyborg?" Robin asked.

"Uh…nay?" Cyborg said in a small voice.

By now, the Titans had cleaned up the mess and decorated their tree without any of Cyborg's devices, and with the gifts under it Robin was holding a mock trial.

"Come on guys! It washed out!"

"Cyborg, you nearly ruined my favorite dress." Starfire said.

"…Aren't they all basically the same?" Cyborg asked.

"You nearly ruined one of my 6.1 inch skirts: I only have two of those, the rest are 6.2 inch skirts. If it doesn't come out, I'll just have the one 6.1 inch skirt, as the rest will be 6.2 inch skirts."

"…You measure your clothing?" Gauntlet asked.

"Of course! Does your society not know of Bjakwog, the annual holiday in Vimtar for approximating the size of clothing?"

Everyone stared.

"…Star are you serious?" Noel asked.

"…No, just trying your human 'sarcasm'." Starfire said, and grinned. Everyone facevaulted.

December 9th

"Any luck finding out about that gear?" Oracle asked from her computer.

"No, not yet…Savior's still looking into it, and Cyborg should be as well, except I know he's trying to perfect new ways for his Christmas machines to kill us." Robin said. Oracle chuckled lightly.

"I remember, before your time, back in the day when it was just Dick and I…sometimes Bruce would experiment with new things to put in his utility belt, and he'd leave the belt out and such…Dick and got into it one Christmas when he was doing it and rigged his whole belt so it was Christmas-themed, and Bruce put the belt on and left for a Justice League meeting afterward, and they got attacked…I heard that when he was pulling out a candy-cane shaped grappler and throwing mistletoe-wrapped Batarangs both Barry and Hal were laughing so hard they nearly got defeated by Kanjor Ro…I remember when he came back I thought he'd rip our hides off…but he just looked at us…and for a moment he looked bemused….I miss those days." Oracle said, a trace of sadness in her voice.

"…I'll see if I can come up there." Robin replied.

"No no Tim, don't trouble yourself, I have the girls…and Ollie will probably drop by…I'll be fine…what about you? You're having the Titans East over there this year, how's that going?"

"It's all over but the shouting, or more precisely, the shouting on who goes where."

"Ok." Beast Boy said. "Speedy can sleep in the main room, Aqualad can share quarters with Noel, Mas Y Menos can sleep in the car, and Bumblebee can sleep with Terra."

"What? I don't want to bunk with 'Listen to my opinions all day and night!' Bumblebee can have Noel's room, Noel can sleep with Raven, Aqualad can have your room Gar, Speedy can sleep in the garage, and Mas Y Menos can sleep as far away from me as possible." Terra said.

"I don't want her reading my books, it could lead to…violent disagreements." Noel said. "Maybe Bumblebee can have Star's room, Cyborg can room with Rob and Speedy and Aqualad can have Cyborg's room, and Mas Y Menos can sleep in Terra's drawers."

"WHAT?"

"I meant your WOOD CLOTHING HOLDING DRAWERS."

"Oh no, I'm not sleeping with Cyborg! He…whirs! How about we just pull everything out of the evidence room and have them all sleep there?" Gauntlet protested.

"Sure Rob, let's compromise the delicate and complicated security set up we have in the evidence room so our guests can sleep in the unheated and uncarpeted expanse watched by several dozen security cameras."

"Argh! Fine! Bumblebee can sleep in your bed with you Noel, Speedy can sleep in the kitchen, Aqualad can sleep in the shower, and May Y Menos can sleep hanging from coat hangers in the broom closet down the hall!"

"Can we please take this seriously…" Cyborg said…

"Ok, it's agreed then. Bumblebee gets Star's room, Star is with Robin, Beast Boy and I are in my room so Mas Y Menos get his room, and Speedy and Aqualad can sleep in a crack in the fold of existence I will break into just for them. I have had enough and need eggnog and Christmas specials." Cyborg said several hours later, and left.

"…Won't Mas Y Menos eat all of Beast Boy's hidden cookies?" Starfire suggested.

And hence the argument recommenced.

And Terra got hit by a snowball.

"ARGH! I WAS INSIDE THAT TIME!"