Part 6
December 15th
Beast Boy hadn't done much in the day except eat and have Cyborg develop his pictures when it happened.
"CHICO BESTIA, CHICO BESTIA!" May Y Menos yelled as they were suddenly next to the changeling. Beast Boy jumped. What he didn't know was that Gauntlet had finally gotten tired of waiting for May Y Menos to give up their spot on the Gamestation and had simply removed them, holding them off with his shield when they tried to retaliate. Their opponent, Robin, found it more funny then anything, so the twins had gone elsewhere for backup. Though Beast Boy didn't know it, they thought they'd found it.
"Hey there little fast dudes, what's up?"
"Ese pata maldito nos a echo daño, ayudanos a pegarle!"
"Um…what?"
"Come que what? Ayudanos! Que no eres hombre!"
"What's that boy, Terra is stuck down a well?"
"Vete a la miercoles, no some perros, estupido!" The twins yelled, and then Menos kicked Beast Boy in the shin, causing him to yell and hop around while the speedsters zapped off.
"Ow…what the hell?" Beast Boy said.
Savior was back in his room, wrapping gifts, when he heard a knock on his door. He debated on whether it was Starfire to ask him to rejoin them or Robin finally having had enough of a sad Starfire to drag him back and then went to go see. To his surprise, it was Terra.
"…Yes?" Savior asked.
"Um…" Terra said, and blushed suddenly.
"No, Raven's not in here, so if you want to discuss feminine issues…"
"No no! Not that!" Terra said. "Uh…Gauntlet was blabbing a bit due to the knock on the head you gave him, he said something about…pictures."
Savior had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.
"Well yes, I did take some pictures for Vic and…someone else. The content is their business, not yours."
"No…um…I wanted to know if…you'd take some of me."
Savior blinked.
"I um…have an idea what they are…I thought…the best gifts are the personal ones…"
"And you need me to take them. It is impossible for you to take them yourself."
"Well Noel, the thing is…I can trust you." Terra said. Savior arched an eyebrow. "Robin's too aloof, Scalpel and I have those issues involving his girlfriend, Cyborg wouldn't be able to help himself in leering, Raven will think I'm nuts, Starfire won't understand, and I'm sure as heck not asking Gauntlet or the Titans East men. So…help me Noelly-Wan, you're my only hope."
Silence.
"Ok. I'll take some pictures of you if you promise NEVER to make such a terrible pun again."
"Agreed!"
"I'll get the camera." Savior said, as he shut the door.
And then Terra got hit by a snowball.
"WILL THIS EVER END?"
As the day led into the afternoon, you would think it impossible that even more craziness awaited.
"But you would be wrong." Said a strange kid who had never appeared before.
Hey what the…Who let another author into this thing?
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."
Speak of the devil.
Aqualad's voice croaked nervously as he watched his would-be best friend fiddle around with a closet in the darkness of a room that wasn't theirs. What was worse, it was Raven's.
"Come on, Phil. We are teenagers! This is what we do." Speedy replied cheerily, ever-alert on his task.
"Stop calling me that." The Atlantian semi-growled. He really should have seen this coming when he refused to give out his real name. It was an Atlantian thing, but of course Speedy hadn't understood that and had immediately dubbed him 'Phil'.
Nice cover for your memory slip.
What the…HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE NOW?
Back door's unlocked.
"And really, how is this a great prank? I mean, Panty-raiding? Not exactly the most popular hobby around people our age."
Yes, Panty-raiding.
Come on, does it really surprise you from a couple of single teenagers bored out of their mind and aching for some, admittedly strange, revenge?
"That's because it's a well-kept secret." The other retorted good-naturedly. "And besides, it's not lik—JACKPOT!"
And sure enough, Speedy now held a pair of panties high and proud, the perverted expression only a hormonal teenager can muster on his face.
"How very nice for you." Aqualad muttered.
"Come on, live a little!" Speedy responded, caressing the piece of clothing as if it were the secret of the universe. And seeing that he was a guy, it probably was. "Huh. Raven likes hers pink. Who knew?"
"Oi."
"Arroz con leche, yo quiero tomar, con una señorita the Portugal! Que sepa coser, que sepa cantar, que sepa abrir la puerta para jugar!" Mas y Menos sang, as they ran around in the garage. "Con esta si! Con esta no! Con esta señorita me caso yo!"
The new author is really abusing the hell out of the fact I can't speak Spanish.
"ARGH! I can't work like this!" Cyborg snapped, closing the T-Car's hood.
"I know: they're so out of tune!" Beast Boy agreed, though he wasn't helping Cyborg as much as he was just leaning back on the front seat, watching him work. The metal hybrid sighed.
"Why are they here anyway?"
"I think they got bored of being unable to get anyone to take back the video games or something." Beast Boy answered, still remembering how they'd kicked him. "Wanna take five, Vic?"
"We don't have much of a choice." Cyborg shrugged as he too sat next to him and watched the twins bounce around.
It got old real quick.
"I'm bored." Cyborg said.
See? SEE?
"I know, me too." Beast Boy replied, watching as the twins played patty-cake five hundred and sixty eight times per second. "Hey, Vic…"
"What is it?"
"…..I bet you I can beat Mas in a race around the Tower."
Cyborg goggled at his best friend with a confused expression.
"Gar, I know you can be fast, but those kids are three steps away from Speed Force."
"If you're so sure, then actually bet on it."
"…Alright then," Cyborg said after a couple of seconds, his eyes gleaming mischievously. "What do we bet?"
"How about… Ten bucks?" Beast Boy grinned.
"You are so on." Cyborg replied with a grin of his own.
"Ok…" Beast Boy turned to the twins. "HEY, MAS! I challenge you to a race around the tower!"
The twins looked at him for a few seconds, then shrugged and ran up to him in what would have to be calculated in a new form of time measurement.
"Ah, ah, ah." Beast Boy said with a smile. "I said I challenge MAS to a race around the Tower."
The speedsters froze as Cyborg's eyes widened.
"You sneaky little sonuvagun." He finally commented.
"I do my best."
"Lean in." Savior suggested. Terra may have wanted to model, but she didn't have much of an idea on how to do it. Not to mention she was so thin that it bothered Noel. An attractive girl in a swimsuit was more fun to photograph then two muscleheads trying to win a nonexistent bodybuilding contest, but not when she was one step away from being an African famine victim. Well, that was an exaggeration, but Savior could see her ribs if he looked close enough.
"I know, I know. I can't help it." Terra said, as she did another pose. "I've tried to put on weight. It just won't stick. And I can't really build muscle either. This is just the way I am."
"More astute then I give you credit for, Tara." Savior said, as he snapped shots.
"I may be blonde, but that doesn't always mean something." Terra replied. "You may want to hurry up, lest Raven catch you."
"She never comes in this area. It's calm. There shouldn't be any trouble." Savior said.
Famous last words. Again.
"This is not fair, Gar!" Cyborg growled as he watched the green changeling get behind the starting line alongside Mas. Menos sat next to Cyborg, looking disgruntled.
"Au contraire, my friend." Beast Boy replied with another smile. "I specifically said 'MAS' not 'Mas Y Menos'. I recorded if you want evidence. Or are you backing out?"
"Dream on!" Cyborg snapped.
"Ok then. Start the countdown."
For a minute, Cyborg did consider backing out. But hey, he's too proud.
"Ready… Set… GO!"
For someone with such short legs, Mas proved to be amazingly fast. Maybe his speed talent was starting to develop on his own with age. But without Menos, he was quickly left in the dust by a green cheetah making screeching noises that sounded suspiciously like laughter.
Cyborg watched them go and knew Mas didn't have a chance. Then he turned to his brother.
"You know what this means, don't you?"
"Si! Tenemos que hacer trampa para ganarle a ese idiota!" Menos cried.
"Well, I wouldn't call it cheating!" Cyborg protested playfully. "Just evening the odds a bit."
And with that, they took off after them.
And then a snowball hit Terra!
"ACK! WHY GOD, WHY!"
"Where the heck did that come from?" Savior said, looking around. "And what's that loud, running noise?"
"Are you done yet, Nath?" Aqualad asked, more annoyed than nervous now.
"No!" Speedy cried. "Why don't you join me? It's soft! And smells nice too!" The teen said. Aqualad looked freaked.
"Are you sure you aren't actually a perverted old man with really good plastic surgery?" He asked.
"There's nothing weird about this! What's weird is that you are not joining me!" Speedy said indignantly. "Are you sure you're not gay?"
"That's it, I'm out of here."
"Wait! You still haven't seen the last steps of our revenge!"
"Oh? What's that? Are we going to borrow some shampoo too?"
"No! We are framing Gauntlet!" Speedy grinned. "That'd teach him to make me accidentally explode my own arrows in my face! And be able to drink more Pepsi!"
"And here I thought this was just mindless teenage hormones." Aqualad commented, half serious, half cynical.
"As if." Speedy replied. "Vengeance shall be mine!"
"And just how are you going to frame Robert for this?"
"Well, I'll just leave this T-shirt of his here, I took it while he slept. The girls all think he's a pervert anyway since he doesn't have a girl on the team or any apparent prospects, so they'd instantly think he did something."
"…Ok, yeah, I'm aware that he doesn't act like the brightest Titan in here…" Aqualad started. "But even Savior admits that he's no idiot. He's just very good at acting like one. Do you really think he will just leave a shirt for anyone to see?"
"Well… There's the chance that he was in a hurry! …Or something." Speedy replied lamely.
"They'd never buy it, Nath." Aqualad said.
"Yes. Robert is too smart for that, and so are we."
"Ah, what do you guys know, you are… just…" Speedy froze as he realized the last person that had been spoken had not been by Aqualad.
Almost too scared to, he turned around.
"Hello, boys." Raven said, with Starfire next to her. How long they had been here, Speedy did not know.
But considering both their eyes spelled murder, it had probably been quite a while.
"Hmm… Raven! What a coincidence! I was just trying to give you… your… dry-cleaning?" The archer invented wildly.
He could tell they didn't buy it.
Beast Boy made a wild turn on the corner and kept going, already halfway through the path he was supposed to take. He was going to win this one! He was going to get his prize!
Never mind that ten bucks is not exactly the best reward you can get, but hey, guys are competitive among other things… Such as mindless perverts like a certain archer who was now also running, except in his case it was for his life.
Nevertheless, Beast Boy felt happy.
Until he smelled it.
The green cheetah stopped on mid-run and followed his nose and found what had gotten his attention: Small little plants with blue upside-down hearts on the ground next to him.
Catnip.
He also saw Cyborg and Menos standing next to the small plants, waving happily.
Beast Boy had time to cast them a look that clearly said 'YOU. BASTARDS.' before rushing to the little plants and rolling around in them with a wild expression.
"Oh yes…" The cheetah purred. "Oh yes… Oh yes! OH YES! OH YESSS! OOOOOOOOOOHH YESSSS!"
"Uh…" Cyborg said as he, Menos and Mas could do nothing but stare at this peculiar sight. "Maybe using a natural feline aphrodisiac to distract him was not such a good idea…"
"Si." Mas y Menos agreed. Then Cyborg noticed Mas.
"Hey! What are you doing here! The only reason we did this traumatizing strategy that will likely get Legend Maker to kill Prisionero was to give you a fair chance to win!"
Aha! The intruder's name is revealed!
Oh crud.
Hey you, get back here!"No se," Menos started, "Fue la idea de Legend Maker de usar nébeda en el primer lugar."
Crum-pong!
"Mas, quickly! Use that hole caused by the collapsed fourth wall as a shortcut!" Cyborg commanded, pointing to indeed such a hole.
"Ai voy!" Mas cried and started running, careful to avoid the still joyful Beast Boy.
"Well, Menos. It looks like your brother might just win this thing after all." Cyborg said happily.
"Si! Somos los campeones! Nadie nos gana corriendo! Ustedes, pobres mortals nunca van a alcanzar nuestro poder! RINDANSE A NUESTROS PIES Y QUIZA NO LOS MATAMO—ACK!"
Menos found himself blow off his feet as Beast Boy ran past him at very high speeds.
"What the--!" Cyborg started, before realizing he was now looking at a green ostrich.
And the green ostrich, who aside from not being affected by catnip as a feline would, was also quickly shortening the gap Mas had put between the two.
"DAMNIT!" Cyborg roared, arming his sonic cannon. "THAT'S IT! NO MORE POWERS, BOTH SIDES! YOU ARE PLAYING FAIR OR NOT AT ALL!"
Then he fired.
The racers, Mas and Beast Boy being the official ones and Menos and Cyborg being the official saboteurs, thundered past the door to the isolated room. A few seconds later, Savior opened it and peered out, as Terra came up behind him, holding a towel to herself. Savior glanced behind him.
"Now THAT…could look bad." Savior said. "Get dressed and drop the camera off at the dark room, I'm going to go check this out." Savior said, as he closed the door behind him. He may have been attempting isolation, but that didn't mean he was going to sit around while his crazy teammates burned the Tower down around his ears.
Aqualad and Speed probably would have preferred that.
"RUN, PHIL! MOVE THOSE LITTLE FEET!" Speedy said as he made it around the corner, looking seriously frightened.
Seconds later, Aqualad made it around the corner as well.
"THAT'S NOT MY NAME! AND LITTLE? I'm a size ten!" He protested, but looked as scared as his companion. "AND WHY ARE THEY CHASING ME? You are the one who was looking at their private clothing!"
"Guilty by association!" Speedy snapped back, and then saw them. "Oh crap… FASTER!"
Raven flew around the corner with a very malevolent expression on her face: she actually resembled her father a bit. Starfire came soon after, looking equally maleficent. After her came Bumblebee and finally Sophie; whose expressions were pretty much the same.
Where the hell had the other two come from, Speedy didn't know. It was like women had this strange and unholy mean of communication in which they could tell each other everything needed to punish males.
(Trust me, they probably do.)
"WHAT NOW?" Aqualad asked, speeding up his pace so that now he was right next to Speedy, whose namesake was apt. "THEY ARE GAINING!"
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" Speedy said, taking out an arrow from somewhere on his uniform.
"What's that for?" Aqualad asked.
"What do you think? I'm gonna shoot it at them!"
"ARE YOU INSANE? They're our teammates! I don't want to hurt them!"
"THEY WANT TO KILL US!"
"That's your fault! You were grabbing their underwear! We are not shooting them!"
"Fine! But I'm holding on to this!" Speedy signaled to the arrow. "It's not like I was really going to shoot them! Just the ceiling, to slow them down or something!"
"The main room is after that door, we can hide in there! They wouldn't want to risk damaging the tree!" Aqualad said.
"Good idea!"
"KILL…" Came the voice of the girls.
Silence as both teens paled.
"…Pick up the pace!"
Beast Boy now ran neck to neck with Mas, having been forced to race in human form after Cyborg almost roasted him with his cannon. And damn, was this kid faster than he looked. Maybe he did conserve some of his speed even after he separated from his brother.
"Voy a ganar! Voy a ganar! Voy a ganar! Voy a ganar! Voy a ganar!" Mas repeated over and over. And his cardiovascular conditioning was superb in the fact he could keep yelling that without losing a breath.
"Shut up!" Beast Boy said as he attempted to transform into a rabbit.
The sonic cannon only missed him because the shooter had intended it that way.
"We are still behind you!" Cyborg cried, indeed no more than ten feet behind them with Menos standing on his shoulder.
"Damnit all!" Beastboy protested, as he continued to run as a human.
The main room was next, he would transform into a cheetah again there. Cyborg wouldn't dare shoot in case he hit the Christmas tree.
"Voy a ganar, voy a ganar, voy a ganar!" Mas chanted.
"No you are not!" Beastboy snapped with a triumphant tone, reaching for the door. "I'm going to win!"
Beast Boy swung for the door, opened it, and charged in as he began to transform…
And came face-to-face with Speedy and Aqualad.
CRASH!
All four teens rolled around in the room wildly before collapsing against the wall.
"Ow…" Beast Boy complained, looking at the two East Titans. "Speedy! Aqualad! What the hell?"
"Que paso?" Mas asked, stars blurring his vision.
"What the heck?" Aqualad asked Beast Boy. "You crashed into us!"
"Yeah, and my head crashed into the wall, not yours!" Speedy groaned, and then noticed something missing. "Hey, where's my arrow?"
"And what's that beeping?" Beastboy asked.
Silence.
"…Oh crud." Speedy gulped before jerking up. "THE ARROW! Where's the arrow?"
"There!" Beast Boy said. "Get rid of it!"
Mas reacted without thought, running up, grabbing the arrow, and throwing it away.
"Yeah! Nice job little…wait a minute where did it go now?" Beast Boy said.
All four teens looked around wildly. And they all spotted it at once.
"IT'S IN THE TREE!" They cried in unison, reaching for it.
Too late.
BOOM!
And up in the corner, Gauntlet chuckled as he watched, a video camera in hand as he filmed the chaos…at least until the tree caught on fire and the shockwave knocked him down from the ceiling, even as it knocked the four boys over.
"Oh no!" Beast Boy cried, as he got a brief look at the tree, fire consuming it, before the smoke bloomed out and consumed the group, causing them to start coughing and gagging
"El arbol! Los regalos!"
"This is bad… This is very bad…" Aqualad said.
"Actually, it's wonderful." Gauntlet said as he popped down, his extension forming a fan that waved away the smoke. "Great job boys! You all played your role to perfection!"
"Played our…wait a minute…YOU PRANKED OUR ROOMS TO GET US TO COUNTER SO WE COULD JUST FALL FOR YOUR SCHEME AGAIN?" Speedy yelled.
"Hey, I'm the master." Gauntlet said. "You just don't mess."
And then the fire sprinklers turned on, drenching the whole room in water.
"Damnit!" Speedy swore. "The tree! The gifts! They are ruined! Oh now they are gonna kill me more than before! Argh, this sucks!"
"Eh, I'm not worried. All the gifts I requested are waterproof, or more precisely, come in waterproof countainers." Gauntlet said.
"Uh…Rob…I kinda swapped all the waterproof containers with Tupperware." Beast Boy said.
"…OUR GIFTS!" Gauntlet shrieked, turning around to leap at the remains of the tree, even as the sprinklers shut off, showing a charred wreck that had once been the tree…and no gifts. Not that they were all destroyed. They just weren't there. At all.
"What the hell happened here! What happened to the tree! What the…!" Robin's voice yelled as he ran into the room, followed by Scalpel and a now dressed Terra.
As Savior slipped down from the corner, one strand carrying him down while the rest of the Shimmer formed a tightly weaved sack. He hit the floor and unwound the sack, revealing the presents, some a bit scorched and soggy but all of them ok
"…The presents! He saved the presents!" Gauntlet cheered, as Mas did a little celebration dance…and stopped when they caught Robin's eye. He did not look happy.
"Please tell me you had a reason for this." He growled, looking like fighting a very strong murderous urge. "Please tell me it had more to do then some stupid little contest…"
"Uh…" Beast Boy stammered.
"HOLY CRAP!"
They all turned to see Cyborg and Menos in the doorway.
"What the hell happened here?" He asked the others.
"These two came that way, the others that way, they crashed, arrow went flying, ka-boom." Savior explained dryly.
"…AW, DAMNIT!" Cyborg slapped his forehead.
"Nice time for you to be out of your room." Scalpel said. "Realized we need you more then hermitdom does?"
Savior gave a blank look.
"…The packaging on these are a bit damaged…I'm going back to my room. I'll fix them up there…and then bring them back here." Savior said. "If necessary I'll wrap them in Kevlar." He added as he left the room.
"Guess he's still enamored with four walls and a bed." Terra said.
"Ok…I have to know…HOW?" Speedy said, as he turned to Gauntlet. He shrugged.
"Simple. I moved the recording devices from Bumblebee's room to yours. I knew that after you found out I pranked them to get Savior that you would be up to something. Besides, it could have been good blackmail material later. Actually, it was mostly the latter: five bucks and I'll make sure nobody finds out about the you-know-what you keep under your bed." Gauntlet said.
Speedy stared for a second, as Gauntlet gestured. A few seconds later, Speedy was handing over five dollars. Gauntlet examined the bill as Speedy turned to Aqualad.
"Well, it's official, this has hit the all time low of our careers."
"And it's still going down." Raven said.
Speedy suddenly remembered the horrible reason why he had been running in the first place. The young archer gulped as all the girls closed in, leaving no space to run.
In the end, the beating was much less severe than he had feared. Though it doesn't mean it didn't hurt like hell. As the pounding continued, we panned away from the Titans to see our narrators. Charlie and Dickens were now standing with a new companion, a young kid who looked a bit anorexic, with spiky hair and a sleeveless black tee over baggy blue jeans and white sneakers.
"I'm gonna hurt you." Charlie commented.
"Hey, like Menos said. The catnip thing was your idea." Prisionero, as this kid went by, replied with a smile.
"You know, he is right." Dickens said, looking as amused as Prisionero. "I thought it was funny."
Charlie rolled her eyes.
"Men…"
"Guys! This is the perfect time to use my new and improved Tinsel-Zooka, Christmas Ball Launcher, Snow Storm Cannon, and Star Placer to repair the damage done by Speedy's arrow!" Cyborg announced happily, holding up the machines.
Five seconds later, Cyborg found himself thrown out of the tower for a couple of hours.
"IT WAS JUST A SUGGESTION!"