Title: Not-So-Smooth Confessions
Author: Dai Otenba
Disclaimer: The rightful ownership of anything Yugioh related belongs to it's creator, Kazuki Takahashi. Same with the series Chobits, property of the lovely ladies in Clamp. I also do not own the song "Something Stupid", sung by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman.
Warnings: Yaoi, mild angst, absurd humor, cursing on Jounouchi's part
Pairings: Kaiba x Jounouchi
Rating: K+
Summary: Admiting your feelings to the person you love isn't alway picture perfect.
Author Notes: Basically, this is what happens when my muses can't decide on a single genre. (And I decide to re-read Gravitation.) Enjoy the chaos and confusion. :D
Story is in Jou's POV
I borrowed Yumi's character from the series Chobits, because I was too lazy to come up with some random OC, and I think she's very cute.
"Damn it, just how long is he expecting me to wait here for him?" I mumble softly to myself as I continue swirling around the contents of my hot chocolate with the little brown straw I had received along with it. Pausing to take a small sip, I cringe at the bitter taste of my drink. It's not even luke warm anymore! I continue playing around with the straw as I prop an elbow on the table i'm at, resting the side of my face in the palm of my hand. "Hot chocolate my ass."
It had already been about an entire hour since I had first arrived at this small coffee shop. I'm not a big fan of coffee shops since i'm not a fan of coffee in the first place, not to mention I feel so damn out of place with all the sorta, intellectual type people going to these things. Just sitting around waiting for their drinks, talking on their cell phones, using their snazzy laptops and reading some 500-page book. Makes me kinda uncomfortable and... stupid I guess. Lucky for me, the person I was waiting up on had the foresight to tell me to arrive a bit early. Not many people came in at this time, plus I managed to sneak over into a small table towards the far back, so I was alone and quite happy.
Well... maybe not -that- happy. My head slams down onto the top of the table with a small thud. "Once Kaiba gets here, I'm going to strangle him."
Oh yeah, I haven't told ya who i'm waiting for. Yup, Kaiba Seto himself. No, i'm not here to blackmail him, pick a fight in a public place so he can get his face plastered onto tomorrow morning's newspaper and be bombarded by reporters. Actually it's none of that.
We're just... here for a meeting. A little get-together I guess.
Okay, before your brains combust over thinking over that little bit of information for too long, I'll explain further.
You see, it's been a few months since Kaiba and I decided to stop this whole 'rivalry' between us, if you could even call it a rivalry. We've patched things up and now we're pretty close.
Not close like -that-... at least, I don't think so. But we'll get to that later.
After our final fight, Kaiba talked to me about how stupid it was to fight over pretty much nothing. He'd call me a dog or a pathetic duelist, I'd make fun of his girly nails, and all hell would break loose from there. Just really didn't seem reasonable to us anymore. I agreed, and we had a truce that has existed to this day. Okay, so sometimes we get fed up with the other and get in a few smacks over the head or a little fistfight, but it's kinda expected when it comes to both of us. Kaiba bugs the hell out of me, and i'm sure I do the same to him, but we don't kick the crap out of each other because of it.
After the truce, we decided to attempt the previously unheard of thought of being friends, which sorta worked out. We'd try to find some little place away from people so as not to bring attention to him, strike up conversation and learn more about each other. The fact that i'm meeting up with the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation makes it hard to get some privacy, but Kaiba's a clever guy, so it's never been a problem with us. We do have a few rules set up to make things work out.:
We can't arrive at the same time, always keep a low profile, and we can't leave the place at the same time. That's how it's always been.
But as time went on, things changed.
He's the most powerful and successful man in Japan. Kaiba Seto is the bachelor of bachelor's around here. He's sought after by tons of girls, the reporters love him and businessmen kiss his sorry ass every single minute of the day.
And me? I'm nothing but a friend. I'm just someone there to talk to. I help him get away from all that. I help him feel normal.
Yet for some reason, I managed to fuck all that up in the blink of an eye when I realized that... I like him. I might even love him.
That's pretty much why I keep waiting on him. That's why I always look forward to our little meetings. Sure we get to talk, have a drink together and let loose, but it's also because of the fact that I love every minute I spend with him. I'm my happiest when i'm around him, and if I can never tell him how I feel, then this is how I'd prefer it all to be. In truth, I would wait as long as he wanted me to, an hour or an entire week, if it only meant that I could get a few minutes alone with him. If I can't have his love, I'd much rather have his friendship. I would hate to mess up what we already have just because I had to have feelings for him. It'd never work out anyways. I'd ruin him. I'd kill his reputation if anyone found out, and it'd be a hard thing to hide.
Its how I want it to be. Just like this.
"If only I could believe that whole-heartedly." I mutter to myself once again as I glare heatedly at the table in front of my face. Stupid table. Stupid feelings. Stupid Kaiba. Stupid me.
"Believe what mutt?"
Well then, speak of the devil. I jerk my head up and look at Kaiba through my tousled bangs. Taking a deep breath and trying to calm my now racing heartbeat, I huff and slouch down into my seat. "Believe that you were actually going to get here ya dumbass. Do you know how long I was waiting?" I watch him intently and wait for his answer as he pulls the chair out in front of me and takes a seat. "Stop your complaining. I'm here aren't I?" He replies with that cocky smirk of his as he tips his pair of dark shades down to look over the rim, used to disguise his trademark blue eyes. Its funny how seriously Kaiba takes this whole incognito thing. He's wearing a dark blue turtleneck sweater and some black slacks covered by a large murky brown trench, a pair of black sunglasses, a dark blue scarf that happens to compliment his eyes very nicely and a black bowler hat that I had given him for his birthday a few months ago. I never thought he'd wear the thing, so I had to suppress the small grin of joy at the sight of him wearing it.
I scoff again and give a small exaggerated pout, crossing my arms over my chest. "You're an entire hour late, and because of that lateness, my hot chocolate got cold."
Kaiba responds with a small laugh. "Oh get over it. You've had to wait longer before." He arches an eyebrow. "Plus, ever heard of acting your age? You look like I just scolded you for not finishing your homework."
"I might be 17, but i'm 10 at heart." I say matter-of-factly, sticking my tongue out at the CEO to emphasize my point. He laughs again and shakes his head slowly, taking off his scarf and placing it on the table next to us.
"Would a new cup of hot chocolate make you feel better?" He asks. I shake my head and reach over for mine. "Nah. I've got this sorry excuse for a drink, I might as well get my money's worth." Shrugging, I take a small sip of it, making a face at the cold taste going down my throat.
"Alright, suit yourself." He answers as he gets up and walks over to the front to get himself something to drink. My eyes linger at his retreating form before he's out of sight, upon which I plop the half empty cup down and tilt my head back, giving a small dreamy sigh. "He doesn't know how much I enjoy making him laugh." And it's true. Kaiba's laugh is... there are no words to explain it. He doesn't seem like the kind of person to have such a warm, hearty laugh, but he does. It's a sharp contrast to his tough exterior. I enjoy the fact that I can help him let loose and show such emotion, to be carefree and happy. It's what I strive for: to make him happy. To help him forget, to escape from the busy and bustling world he has been thrust into at such a young age.
I pick up my sorry excuse for a hot chocolate again and tilt it up so I can take another little sip. I bought it, so I might as well drink it. Before I place it back down on the table, I look into the contents of the cup, swirling it around. It's this bleak, murky brown color, a few bits of white bubbles floating around at the top. Chocolate... a lot of people used to fed me this weird crap that my eyes reminded them of chocolate, that they seemed so 'warm and calming', which I always wondered about. I'd stare into a mirror for hours and just stare at my eyes. All I could see was brown. I didn't see anything special about them. Then I remember this discussion Kaiba and I had one day. The meeting spot we had decided on that day was a chocolate shop a few blocks away from the coffee shop we're at right now. It had been my choice of course, since I love sweets. We sat outside in one of the small tables. I was munching on a dark chocolate bar I had bought and Kaiba was just browsing through a newspaper. It was then I decided to get Kaiba's opinion in all this.
"Hey Kaiba." He paused in his reading, looking at me. "Do you think my eyes are like chocolate?" He gave me this look that screamed, 'What the hell are you on?', and I laughed it off nervously, looking down at my half finished bar of chocolate. "'Cause, I've had all these people talk to me about how my eyes remind them of chocolate, or something like that, and I never really thought of it that way. I just... thought they were brown." I never took the time to consider just how stupid the question was until he gave me that look again. I felt this swell of embarrassment kick in, and soon I could feel a small blush spreading across my face.
"Well, if you look at it this way, it's not really that much of a compliment." He answered while looking across the street. I lifted my head up and listened as he spoke in that 'awe-inspiring' voice of his. "Too much chocolate is bad for your health, can make you fat, and is bad for your skin." I blinked a few times; wondering if this all meant that the comments were insults.
"However... there's something about chocolate that seems to make people happy, no matter what kind of mood they're in." I continued to look at him, trying to comprehend his words. I had never really thought of it like that. It was then that I lost control of all thought and said something I never thought I'd let slip out. "What do you think?" I saw him blink and look at me with a hint of confusion in his eyes, as I quickly sputtered and looked down at the chocolate. I was about to tell him to forget what I had just said, when-
"I'd say it fits you. Not to mention I think that too much of you is bad for anyone's health." He smirked and continued to read his newspaper.
As much as the little remark at the end iffed me, the fact that he could say all that about me, made me glad. And I believe, it was then that I began to actually fall in love with him. I closed my eyes and sighed. I was either the stupidest person in the entire world, or a really deep thinker, to fall in love with such a guy. I just wish there were some way I could tell him. If only there was a way to get through all the obstacles and boundaries. If only all this didn't matter. 'I just wish I could tell you how I feel. That I...'
"I love you."
"What was that?"
At the unexpected response, I snapped my eyes open and jerked my head up to Kaiba. He had a small cup of coffee in his hand and I could clearly see the curiosity in his eyes. If it weren't for the fact that I knew I had to fix what I had done, and fast, I would have been freaking out at this moment. 'Note to self: never reminisce about your love interest, especially when they're within your vicinity.' "I... I..." I had no idea what to say, and then it came to me.
"The chocolate!"
"The... chocolate?" He answered, quirking an eyebrow.
"Yeah! The chocolate!" I chirped as a forced grin spread about my lips and I lifted up the cup in my hand. "I just love hot chocolate, even if it isn't hot!" I placed the drink in both of my hands and began to nuzzle the cup, uttering sweet nothings to it and hoping in the back of my mind that he'd take the bait. That, and I hoped no one was watching me because I felt like a complete idiot.
I could hear the legs of the chair scrape against the tiled floor below and Kaiba sit down as he muttered lightly. "I told you too much chocolate is bad for you."
As I gave a small mental sigh of relief, I placed a small kiss on the cup and placed it back down on the table. "Guess I'll never learn." I replied with the grin still plastered onto my face. 'That was way too close for comfort.'
He snorted and took a sip of his coffee.
An hour or so after my little slip up, everything calmed down and we got back on track. We talked about what we had done since the last time we met up, how everything was doing. Apparently Kaiba Corp. was doing well, and Mokuba was participating in some school play in about a month or so. I told Kaiba that I'd be more than happy to help the kid out and see him in the performance. I then told him about how I had gotten a phone call from Shizuka the night before and that she and my mother were doing alright, that they were even thinking of visiting me in a month, maybe even a few weeks. He had given me a warm smile and said that he was happy for me. It had been a long time since I had last seen my sister, and Kaiba was heart-warmed at the news that I'd be able to see her once more. We both were very close to our siblings, yet Kaiba always felt a little sad over the fact that he could see Mokuba whenever he wanted, yet Shizuka and I lived in totally different countries. He had even offered me a round trip to America to go and visit her, upon which I refused. I told him that I'd find my own way of seeing Shizuka, that I knew one day we'd live together and not have to find ways to get in contact. He accepted my answer, but told me that the offer would stay open, if I were to ever change my mind and need to see her. He didn't know how much I appreciated his care and help, and my heart swelled with even more adoration for the young man.
Another hour passed by, along with two more cups of hot chocolate, one cup of coffee and a ton of chocolate chip cookies, before the embodiment of evil (also known as Kaiba's cell phone) made itself known. As he answered it, I sat back and waited for the cue for our meeting to wrap up, as it always did whenever Kaiba got a call, always from the office. Once he closed the phone and began to put it away my eyes quickly caught sight of the tiny panda dangling from the end of his cell phone strap. I gave a grim smile. When I first saw it and asked him about it, he told me it was a gift from his secretary, Yumi. She was a really sweet girl who had just entered college and trying to get a major in business. We had met a few times before and I was surprised at how much she reminded me of Shizuka. It was probably why I had taken such a liking to her. The reason Kaiba liked her was because, unlike all the other secretaries he had had in the past, Yumi actually focused on her work and wasn't trying to hit on him every couple of minutes. "How's Yumi doing?"
"Fine, though she's upset at the fact that you haven't visited her for a week."
It took a great effort for me to laugh light-heartedly at that bit of information, since I knew the exact reason why I hadn't seen her in a while.
To tell the truth, I was avoiding her.
Over the past few weeks, I noticed how Kaiba and Yumi were becoming friendlier towards each other. At this point I had already come to terms with the fact that I had feelings for Kaiba, so it only took a while for me to get suspicious. I didn't want to seem shallow and be jealous at the fact that the two were close, so I just let them be and told myself that Kaiba was acting with Yumi the same way he would around me or even Mokuba. It wasn't until I saw the cell phone strap on his phone that I began to question their 'relationship'. Dozens of questions flooded through my mind. Were they secretly going out? Did she have feelings for him? What about the other way around? No matter what, I just brushed it all off and berated myself for being so paranoid. In the back of my mind though, I knew it was all because I was afraid that they could possibly be... together.
My moment of deep thought was broken when I heard Kaiba getting out of his chair. "Well, I think I've wasted enough time lazing around here." I glared at him playfully as he smiled, indicating that he was lying. "I can only escape from work for so long, and I'm afraid that my associates caught on to the fact that I wasn't there to boss them around, though why it took them so long to figure it out is beyond me." Grabbing his scarf and wrapping it around his neck, he said a soft 'good-bye' before he began to leave, until my eyes widened and I jumped up from my seat. "Kaiba, wait!"
He turned around slowly, and I was surprised at the sight of eagerness yet agitation in his eyes. "What is it?"
Shifting around slightly, I looked away from his penetrating gaze and instead looked over at our table. "How about… I walk with ya to your car? I don't really feel like sticking around here any longer anyways."
I tried to hide my sudden flinch when his eyes narrowed in my direction. "You remember the rules. In order to keep from getting noticed-"
"One of us always has to wait a while after the other one leaves, I know!" I burst out rather loudly; pausing abruptly and quickly finishing my rant in a hushed, yet still very angry tone. "I always know! You don't have to remind me of those stupid rules!"
"Why are you so upset?"
My eyes widened and I stiffened up terribly, afraid of what exactly Kaiba thought of my actions. I was also afraid of the fact that I might not be able to cover it up as easily as I did with the slip-up from before. "I… I'm just tired, that's all. It's been a long day." He didn't answer me for the longest time. He just stood there staring at me, and my eyes once again shifted back to the table. I growled mentally in frustration, telling myself not to make such a spectacle of myself and to just swallow my emotions for the time being, like I was so used to doing. I had to remember what I had decided on. I didn't want to lose any of this. I didn't want to lose Kaiba's friendship. His smiles, his laughter, his warmth... 'In order to keep all that though… I have to lose at least something. Something that I've been holding onto for so long now. But I'm okay with that… I really am. As long as I don't lose –him-.'
"-wait for you all day."
"What?" I snapped out of my depressed daze once again at the sound of the other's voice.
"I said hurry up. I'm not going to wait for you all day."
I just stared at Kaiba's retreating back for a few seconds until I realized what he meant. He wanted me to follow him. He wanted us to leave… together. I was confused like you wouldn't believe but I hurriedly ran after him, catching up to him outside the shop and then shivering heavily at the cold air that rushed up towards me. I had forgotten how cold it could get around here at this time.
"Come on. You'll get warmer once we're in the car."
My head jerked towards Kaiba's voice again, a few feet away from me. Okay, that's it. What the fuck is going on here? "Kaiba!" I yelled out, ignoring the fact that I could have blown his cover right then and there. Luckily no one was around so I didn't have to worry about that, but I was so busy stomping angrily towards the brunet that I had no idea that was the case. Turning him around to face me I looked at him furiously, though he seemed pretty calm for some reason. "What the hell is your problem? What just happened back there? Did I miss something? I mean… what the fuck!"
Kaiba grinned. "I was just affirmed of something that I had been wondering about for a certain amount of time. That's what happened."
"Now hold on just one minute, what are you talking about! You-…what?" Once again, I was frustrated and confused, until it finally dawned on me.
He knew.
...shit. Shit shit shit.
I could barely hear his amused laughter through my hazy thoughts. How the hell could he know? Here I was, using every little precaution to keep him from knowing that I had feelings for him, trying to keep this new friendship of ours from falling apart, when he just out of the blue figures it out on his own?
I tried to think of something, -anything- to say to figure out what exactly was going on, but all I could get out were a few stray words.
"But Yumi... the panda... the meetings... just... friends... HOW?"
"Yumi and I were nothing more then friends. As for the cell phone strap… you do know that friends are known to give each other things, right? Anyways, I actually did find out that she had a bit of a crush on me, but I told her that I was already interested in someone else, which she really had no problem with. Eventually she found out this 'someone else' was you, so the reason we spent so much time around each other was because she would spend all of it poking and prodding me about when I would tell you I liked you, what it was that caused me to like you, and just how I was keeping it from you. I really had no idea in the beginning whether things would work out between us, which is why I kept up with the meetings. It was just an excuse to see you and talk to you without the risk of loosing the friendship we had, or… more of a dysfunctional friendship really. Once I got the few hints that you liked me, mostly by the way you would act around me after a few weeks, all I did was wait around to see when exactly you'd, 'let the cat out of the bag' so to say."
"..."
Needless to say, I was speechless. All this time I was worrying and stressing about the fact that I was in love with Kaiba, it turned out that… he returned the feelings. In fact, he was stressing over the exact same things I was. All this time… everything was okay. I didn't have to lose anything. In fact, I actually gained something instead.
At that moment, as the tears of joy began to stream down my face and a few scattered flakes of snow began to fall from the sky and flutter around us, I could do nothing but stare at Kaiba's smiling face, and as I glared at him meekly, all I could say was,
"I really am going to strangle you."
Unfortunately, he chose that moment to brush off my threat and kiss me, so I never got to do it.
Oh well. There's always next time.
Wasn't that lovely and bi-polar?
Tsuki: Wait... but I thought... didn't he... this... I'm confused.
Nuva: Bif if a pif of crof!
I'm sorry Nuva my dear, what was that? I can't hear you through the duct tape.
Nuva: Rrrrrr... :-thrashes around-: