"He's upstairs," Fuji Yoshiko said, as Shuusuke gracefully slipped into a pair of house slippers and joined her in the hall. She paused for a moment, and then said, "He's been... hoping that you would come. And... so have I."
At Shuusuke's questioning glance, turned away before he could reveal any more of his surprise through the cracks he had hoped weren't actually there, Yoshiko smiled, sadness and pale pride colouring her face like cream; thick but delicate. "He was happier when he was with you. And he says you were too." She paused again, and then: "... Were you?" The question too was coloured with sadness and pride.
"More than I will ever deserve to be."
"... Then keep that thought with you. It will stand you in good stead, Shuusuke." Yoshiko clasped her hands and turned her head to look up the stairs. "Go to him. He's waiting for you, although he's probably too prickly to admit it right now."
"I will handle him with the utmost of care."
"I know you will."
Shuusuke bowed his head and turned to climb the stairs. "'Kaa-san... thank you."
Yoshiko merely nodded, still looking an uneasy mixture of proud and sad for something indefinable.
The carpet softer under his feet than he remembered, Shuusuke made himself knock instead of just letting himself into Yuuta's room as he was used to. It wasn't that he needed to win Yuuta back, necessarily, but there were boundaries now that he had established for himself; boundaries that were important to their relationship as lovers not brothers.
When Yuuta called out for the knocker to come in, Shuusuke opened the door and softly shut it behind him. Yuuta, sitting on the bed with a book, now left splayed open on the covers, looked at once surprised and unsurprised to see him.
"Aniki..." The tone of his voice told Shuusuke that he couldn't decide whether he should be angry or upset or forcedly distant.
"Yuuta," Shuusuke said. "There are things I should have said, and things I should have done, and things I should not have done at all." He took a shallow breath that became a deep one as his eyes drank in Yuuta, who was twisting the cuff of his jumper between his fingers as he looked back up at him from the bed. "I fear that 'sorry' is never going to be sufficient, but please allow me to tell you all the things I have been thinking about since I let you go?"
Yuuta looked hesitant, as though he couldn't decide whether to be little brother or Fuji Yuuta. Seeing this, Shuusuke dropped down to one knee and took his hand, pressing upon it an unusually chaste kiss, keeping his head bowed.
"Aniki, what are you doing? You look stupid down there," Yuuta said, sounding like he was thirteen again. "You really better not have a ring."
Laughing softly, Shuusuke raised his head again and let go of Yuuta's hand. "Worry not, although now you're giving me ideas..." At the purposefully blank look Yuuta gave him, he smiled. "Will you listen to me? You don't have to do anything, or like what I say, and you may kick me, if you feel you need to."
"Why would I need to kick you?" Yuuta's face was starting to look softer now. "Stupid brother."
"Mmn, stupid indeed," Shuusuke agreed, his tone becoming braver at Yuuta's almost affectionate words. He'd been counting on his not being able to maintain the artificial sullenness for long; the wariness and hurt were real, but he hoped he could start to soothe those away too, now that it looked as if Yuuta would listen to him. "Yuuta, I've been acting like your stupid brother for too long, and I didn't realise it until I drove you away."
Yuuta seemed uncomfortable looking at Shuusuke, but he didn't turn his face away.
"You told me, so many times, but I didn't listen to you. I thought I knew things you did not, and in trying to protect you, I achieved the very opposite." Shuusuke desperately wanted to kiss Yuuta, to explain the rest of his epiphany with the intensity it deserved, but his words were important to Yuuta right now, he knew. "I shouldn't be acting like your big brother anymore, not when I feel the way I do for you. I should be loving you, and supporting you, and letting you be who you need to be. I wanted what was best for you, but I couldn't stop myself from trying to... control you." There had been only a very tiny pause, but Yuuta knew how significant those pauses were for Shuusuke.
"The whole chaining me up thing?"
"I... yes." Shuusuke laughed softly again, on the lighter side of embarrassed. "And I still want you all to myself, but I want you to have you too." He closed his eyes for a moment and then smiled, looking almost serene. "I'm not going to tell you that I'm bad for you anymore, or that there's something better waiting for you."
"Why not? What made you change your mind?" Yuuta sounded more curious than interrogative. It seemed to be taking up most of his energy keeping up the look of impartiality he was wearing.
"No one could ever love you as much as I do. And don't make that face at me, Yuuta, because I do love you, and no, it's not embarrassing."
"Maybe not for you," Yuuta said, but very quietly.
"Definitely not for me."
Yuuta could have sworn Shuusuke had smirked just then, but it could just have been that he was expecting it. He was, after all, far too used to it.
"Yuuta... I love you more than anyone else ever could do, and if it's really me you want, then I can think of no one better than myself for you to be with." Shuusuke's voice then dropped to a reverence Yuuta wasn't sure he'd ever heard before. "I wanted you so much this week. I'd thought I could manage without you, if it meant you would be better off, but no; I can't. I needed to talk to you, and make you coffee, and have the TV remote stolen from me." His voice then dropped further again. "I needed to –"
Yuuta flushed slightly at the words he knew he'd just pre-empted. "That's enough, aniki. It's enough."
"Enough?"
"You've said enough. I believe you. You can stop saying these things now. And you can, er, get up, too. You look like you should be wearing a cheesy tuxedo and singing to me."
"Would you like that?"
"I guess," Yuuta started, "if you really, really, really had to do it, I could bear it. For one song. If no one else was around. But otherwise, no."
"I'll stick to the ring, then." Shuusuke was smirking for definite now.
"Just because I believe you and have probably missed you a lot too doesn't mean you're allowed to make fun of me again yet," Yuuta said, but he seemed to have borrowed a bit of Shuusuke's smirk as he said it.
"Who says I'm making fun of you?" Shuusuke let him take it all, though, when he then said, in the same reverent voice he'd used earlier, "May I kiss you, Yuuta?"
"You know you don't have to ask."
Shuusuke rose from his position on the floor and settled himself on the bed beside Yuuta. "Oh, but I do." Drawing Yuuta to him, he made a point of looking right into his eyes – which betrayed excitement and longing, in contrast to the suspicious look on the rest of his face – before then pressing his lips to Yuuta's with a soft sound, adding pressure but otherwise keeping it dry and simple and not at all what Yuuta had expected.
When Shuusuke pulled away a few inches, he said, "The kind of kiss I want to give you needs to be asked for," and then met Yuuta's lips once more, bestowing upon him a series of short, sharp, sweet staccato kisses, revelling in the energy that passed between them every time they touched. On the last, he remained joined with Yuuta, wrapping an arm round his waist and slipping a hand up under his shirt to rest on the soft skin of his back. Making a small noise in the back of his throat, relief at bodily contact after a week of being alone, he finally began to kiss Yuuta, unrestrained, licking at his lips until Yuuta parted them and allowed him into his mouth. As he slid his tongue over Yuuta's with uncharacteristic forcefulness, Yuuta moaned and gripped his forearm, urging Shuusuke not to stop this one like he had the others. The way he deepened the kiss at Yuuta's touch promised him he wouldn't.
Pulling Yuuta down with him to rest properly on the bed, Shuusuke moved his hand higher and began to stroke Yuuta's back in time with the strokes of his tongue, wrapping his legs around him and rolling his hips as Yuuta's hand crept under his shirt and responded in kind. When he drew Yuuta's tongue into his own mouth and began to suck on it, deep and strong, Yuuta moaned again and moved his hips to meet with Shuusuke's, shifting to rub against the seam of the jeans he wore, desperate for stimulation when aniki was being this serious with him. Aniki felt different; passionate and undone, when before, there had always, always been something holding him back, even when he'd been trying. Now, it was all gone, and in its place was an aniki who was showering him with phoenix tears, crying dry-eyed for every moment he had missed him and for every damaging assumption he had ever made.
It was enough to renew Yuuta's belief in his brother, although Shuusuke starting to inch his shirt up made him realise they had to stop.
"Aniki," he said, pulling away, breathing heavily. "Mum and dad are downstairs, and..."
Shuusuke had tried to follow his lips as he moved away, intent on staying as close to Yuuta as he could after having been forgiven, but the spell broke as he heard mention of their parents. Cheeks flushed and eyes shining, he said, "We should stop, shouldn't we?" in a way that begged Yuuta to throw everything but their pleasure to the wind.
Unable to close his ears to aniki, Yuuta did the next best thing and closed his eyes as he slowly untangled himself from his brother and shifted away a bit, potential embarrassment winning out, just, over consummating their make-up.
"Aa, we should. Even if..." He paused, sounding barely on the more comfortable side of mortified. "Even if they don't mind, they'll... hear us, and..." He trailed off, just the idea being enough to silence him with horror in potentia.
"Then, come back with me?" Shuusuke's words promised an experience likely never to be surpassed; Yuuta shivered, and made himself concentrate on straightening out his clothing.
"I'll come back, but..."
"I know how to let you go enough to get you closer, now..." Shuusuke hadn't been able to stop himself from purring, but the message was serious, and satisfied Yuuta enough that he stood up, swept the book he'd abandoned earlier up from the bed, pushed it into the holdall on the dresser, and then zipped it up decisively.
"You didn't unpack?"
"I, ah, knew you'd be coming for me."
"Really?"
Yuuta grinned sheepishly. "I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but I received a phone call..."