New Found Feelings

As more years went by, Kazuma was now ten. Rin was now in her forties, and she always looked like she was sick. She tried to keep up with Kazuma's energy and questions, but Rin felt like she was over 100 years old. Sesshomaru still loved her, but wasn't attracted to her as he once used to be. She was not so pretty anymore, so he felt it weird going in the hot springs with a lady who didn't look as youthful as he did. Rin was getting sick often, although not to the point where she was going to die; So, Sesshomaru was left training and taking care of Kazuma, and even most of the time Rin, which Kazuma didn't seem to mind. Rin seemed to have no more goals set out in life, and although she wanted to spend all the life in eternity with Sesshomaru, she knew it wouldn't always last. The average woman seemed to live up to around 60, and men around 70… so she knew that it'd be obvious that she was going to die within the next twenty years. Kazuma grew so much that in no time, he really looked like a duplicate Sesshomaru, and Kazuma was still the young gentleman.

"Mother?" Kazuma sat at Rin's side. "I found a woman…"

Rin's eyes opened to him, and she smiled gently. She held Kazuma in her arms. "Oh.h..h. How… fantastic." She couldn't say much more after that, because she started crying, and she was at loss for words. It seemed that she was crying more and more the older she got. She didn't want to die, she wanted to be with Sesshomaru, and although it was the greatest pleasure seeing him being with her son, now that he was leaving soon, she would notice that Sesshomaru still didn't pay too much attention to her. She was old, and she found her self not worth living any longer.

"Lord Sesshomaru." She choked.

"Rin?" He said. If it'd been ten years ago, he would have hugged her at that instant, but he didn't budge from his spot.

"You find me unattractive now don't you? I am a human; I am not like you… I can not stay young and beautiful forever like you." She cried. "Sesshomaru." She said with a more serious tone. "Next time I'm sick… don't help me. I want to die." She continued, "Life is not worth living longer, and especially when all of my hopes and dreams have come true… I have nothing left in my life that I need, except…" She cried. "You're tender kiss and you in my arms, the moment I die. Please."

Sesshomaru listened to every word, and thought it is outrageous. "Rin, stop talking nonsense."

"It's true though…isn't it?" She looked at him. He may have found her unattractive, but it was still her heart that he had everything to thank for. If she had never come along, he'd probably circle the whole of Japan three times with Jaken at his side, until his death from whatever that may be.

He rushed her into his arms, and stroked her gray hair. "It is your heart that I care for the most." He told her.

"But…why is it that you never want to be with me?" She cried more.

"I…" Sesshomaru stopped. He really didn't know why.

"Just let me die. Perhaps, the day when you revived me a few years ago…it was fate that I should have stayed dead." She said.

Sesshomaru became angry. "I… don't want you to die Rin. Without you, I don't know what I'd do…Kazuma needs you…I need you. So you're getting old, do you think I had not thought of that because you are a human?"

Rin looked at his eyes that seemed fear in them. "I…cant. I just can't take this pain any longer. That demon spirit…wants me dead. Lord Sesshomaru, the demon spirit wants me dead and so…"

"You need to prove that you're stronger then that Rin." He told her.

"Besides…Lady Kagome is older then I…and she don't even look as bad as I do." Rin said, feeling envious.

"She has things in her normal time that can help her."

"…I don't care. The point is…I'm ugly and sick… and I have nothing else in my life." Rin turned her face away. Sesshomaru touched the side of her cheek, and told her that she meant the world to him, even though he may not show it. He told her, that she should know that he was always just nervous or never know what to say when he was distant like he had been. Rin ignored him, and walked away, leaving Sesshomaru upset. Rin no longer wanted to cause a burden. She was sick of her life now…and now that she has had everything that she wanted, when it comes to experiences… like love and friendship. Hate, and worry, Jealousy and anger. Happiness and emotionless, she knew that she has felt all of these emotions, and being able to get Sesshomaru to open up his heart to her, was the only thing she really wanted to do for him…and instead she was able to go further. She had Kazuma; an experience worth watching for her…growing up, and even Sesshomaru himself grew up, matured, and showed great changes in him.

As the day went on, Kazuma went up to Rin. "How are you feeling mother?" he asked.

"Fine for now. Listen, dear, I want you to know that I will always love you…no matter what." She said.

"Yes mother, I know…" he laughed. But Rin continued to show a deep and serious look. He got the idea, and then went serious.

"Next time I'm sick…I'm not going to get better. I hope you realize that."

"You always get better though mother." Kazuma tried to sound happy.

"Remember that demon spirit? The curse… it is really taking effect, and I know I should be strong, but I can't be…so… I am doing this for you, seeing that I'd rather see you happily play around, and me getting sicker and sicker, then seeing you dead at my feet, and I'd never forgive myself of being able to protect you further." Rin told him. Sesshomaru entered the dining area, where they were, and sat down silently and ate. No one acknowledged the fact that he had just sat down, and Kazuma and Rin were eating quietly.

"Mother, some more rice please?" Kazuma asked, breaking the silence as Rin reached for his bowl, and placed another helping of rice into it. Then she passed it back. "Thank you."

The rest of the week was very silent between Rin and Sesshomaru. They said nothing to each other. Rin still was being stubborn, and Sesshomaru still thought she was better then all of that. It was that very half-waning moon, which stood outside, breaking the night from total darkness. That moon, which was shining so brightly, that Rin could see Sesshomaru's shadow from their room. She walked outside, and stood next to Sesshomaru.

Everything was quiet between them neither of them said a word, until where Sesshomaru turned directly to Rin.

"Lord Ses-"

He kissed her. Her eyes were wide open at first, until where she calmed down, and closed her eyes, as well as deepened the kiss. When they released, they stared at each other. "I'm sorry… lord Sesshomaru. I've been…so immature, and stubborn. Will you forgive me?"

"Only if you'll forgive me. I should not have ignored you the way I have." He told her. She smiled, then he held her in his arm.

A few days later, she was sick again. Everyone knew that it was her desire to not get better again. Kazuma sat in her room at all times, making sure she was still okay and alive… and Sesshomaru was getting water and other stuff. If she didn't want to get better, he wanted to make sure that she lived a happy death. He didn't want her dead… he was trying to truly prevent her from dying.

"Lord Sesshomaru." Rin said quietly; as he took her head, and brought it up a bit so she could take a drink of water.

"You have called me lord all your life. You have no reason to call me a lord any longer. You will always be in my heart… and don't you forget that."

Rin gave him a slow distinguished look. "You'd think I'd forget?" She asked.

"No…but I am making sure." He told her.

"Here… a gift, from my woman. She made this for you." Kazuma came running in. He brought her a large silky purple pillow. It had beads, all over it, and it was a very beautiful gift.

"Tell her… thank you." Rin said, tears going down her face.

"Sesshomaru… please… talk to me. Tell me… everything that I never knew about you. I want to know…" Rin said.

Sesshomaru looked at her. "Why?"

Rin looked away from him. "You've never really told me about your deepest feelings, your longings…or even how you truly feel about things. Please…tell me. It's what I want to hear."

Sesshomaru continued looking at her. He started talking about things as a child, and then growing up as a teenager. He knew that this was the only thing he could do for his loving woman.

Kazuma came in with InuYasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and even Kilala and Naomi were there.

Kagome got down at Rin's side. "oh.h.h…"

"I told you lord Sesshomaru…she is more beautiful then I…and she is older then I am."

"Rin… that's not true. It's because I was able to buy things in my normal time that helps my skin…"

"I feel…so ugly… and sick and helpless. Everyone's come here because I want to die. They went out of their-"

"Oh cut the crap Rin. You're not that bad looking for an old human. If Kagome didn't have her stupid cream stuff, she'd be like you." InuYasha spat at her. Miroku and Sango smacked their heads for him being so blunt like that.

"Still… regardless. It really isn't all about being ugly… it's just…I can no longer please my lord…" Rin felt terrible.

Kagome touched her head. "You'll always be in Sesshomaru's heart, so its not like you're going to be forgotten or anything. Not to mention, we all care for you very much…"

"It's true. Remember, when you were 13…and we had to explain to you what a period was." Sango laughed. Rin wanted to laugh…but she couldn't. Everyone but Rin and Sesshomaru started laughing.

"Or how you came to us telling us you were pregnant with Sesshomaru's baby." InuYasha spoke. "Did you see our eyes!"

They wanted Rin to be happy. They tried. They brought up the best memories. "Or when we helped you build this place. The funny races between InuYasha and Sesshomaru…like, who could dig faster, or dig the most in a half hour…" Miroku said.

Rin felt happy. Her heart had been lifted…she had just been reminded everything in her life that had been so grateful… and how she had them to thank for.

"Or when I met you." Sesshomaru said.

"Thank you…I feel…so much happier." Rin tried to smile.

The other's all looked at her, with great happiness in them, and it made Rin feel like the luckiest person in the world. Her friends, people she cared for, people who cared for her, tried to make her be able to die happy, and the man of her dreams sat at her very side.

"Listen Rin…if you're going…to die…die happily. Never die being lonely, or even knowing that you're not loved…when you most certainly are." Shippou spoke.

"Not to mention, you got Sesshomaru to love you. Especially when Sesshomaru despises humans." InuYasha said making an excellent point.

"That's true." Everyone else said, and this time Rin was able to laugh. But she and everyone else stopped, when she felt a great pain in her, and held Sesshomaru's face. Everyone was quiet.

"Lord Sesshomaru… I love you very much. Kazuma… Everyone… thank you." Rin said quietly, and closed her eyes.

"Rin?" Sesshomaru yelled. "Rin! I love you…So much." He yelled. Rin opened her eyes for one more time she went up slightly to kiss Sesshomaru, where he met her half way. The kiss stopped, when her hand dropped off of his face.

Everyone was in utter shock, and sadness. Sesshomaru sat still for a moment, when he started to cry. Kagome, Sango and Shippou also cried. Miroku was starting to cry, and InuYasha showed emotion, but he didn't cry. Kazuma stood…frozen in stillness. "Mother…"

A week later, Sesshomaru wanted to leave. He wanted to stay in that house no longer. He and Kazuma had buried Rin next to where InuYasha's mother had been, as a family cemetery. "You are moving with your woman?" Sesshomaru asked Kazuma.

"Yes father."

"Have everything?"

"Yes father."

Then, with no further abide, Sesshomaru took out his Tokijin, and took a large swing at the home. The place crashed, and the home was slashed to pieces. "We will never forget your mother, but you and I will never come here again."

"Father…We shall meet again?"

"Of course. Good luck…my son."

Kazuma started walking off, when Sesshomaru looked down and realized. He called out Kazuma, and so he stopped, turned around and came back.

"Father?"

"I want you to have this. I know you have someone to protect…guard it with your life, and it will guard you with its strength." Sesshomaru pulled out his Tensaiga, and placed it in Kazuma's hands.

"Thank you father…"

And with that…the memory of Rin was left in that broken home…and Kazuma and Sesshomaru went off in their own directions.

…To never come back again.

Disclaimer: Only Kazuma is mine

A/N:Omg.g.. (Cries) that…was so sad TT this was my last chapter, and so… I hoped you all enjoyed it. And thank you ever so much for all reviews… good and bad. Thank you. I had a lot of fun writing it. One of my best stories, in my opinion; regardless of reviews.