"Ansem?"
"Yeah?"
"What the hell's been going on?"
Sephiroth and Ansem were back in their own room. Sephiroth had his arm over Ansem's chest, and Ansem held his hand. Ansem moved closer to Sephiroth, and huddled against him.
"I don't know, love," Ansem said, closing his eyes as Sephiroth wrapped his arms around him. "I just don't know."
The next day, after the others had gone shopping again, Ansem took the phonebook and began flipping through the yellow pages. He looked down the page, and he saw, crammed between an ad for "Parakeets for sale" and another for "Parcel Delivery" was a tiny ad.
"Paranormal Investigator. ESP, OBE, Ghosts, and former life reports. Ask for Sakkaku Giman. (410)-272-6667 Call between seven AM and noon."
Ansem grabbed a phone, and dialed the number.
"'Allo, Sakkaku 'ere. 'Ow can Oi 'elp ye?"
"Yes, what are your rates?"
"D'pends. Wot'm Oi investigatin'?"
"A poltergeist, presumably."
"Roight then. Oi'll come ovah in around an hour. 'Ow's that?"
"That's fine."
"Roight. Moi rates work d'pendin' on th' 'auntin'. If ya got a bad one, s'more 'spensive. Iffen it i'n't too bad, not very 'spensive a' all. Wot's yer address?"
"724 Elm."
"Roight. In an hour, then."
The speaker hung up. Ansem blinked. That had been odd. He shrugged.
An hour later, Ansem was sitting on the sofa watching TV with Sephiroth, when they heard a crash.
"Shit!"
Ansem and Sephiroth looked at each other, and stood to see what had happened. A girl with brown hair and wide, round glasses was kicking at a downed Vespa, which looked thoroughly ancient. She wore a pewter ankh on a short chain, and a Celtic cross on a much longer chain. She had a large bag on her back. Her eyes were blue, with a strange shade of what appeared to be yellowish-greenish-silver around the pupils.
"Stupid thing!" she snarled as she kicked it. "Worthless piece o' cow dung! Always bloody breakin' down! Shit!" She turned her strange blue eyes and saw Ansem and Sephiroth. "Coo!" she cried. "Can eithah o' you two visions tell me where uh, 724 Elm is?"
"You're there," Ansem said bemusedly. Then something occurred to him. "You wouldn't Sakkaku Giman, would you?"
"Who?" Sephiroth asked. The girl bowed to them.
"Aye, tha' Oi am!" she said. "Sakkaku Giman, Cockney na'ive tho' la'ely o' Bal'imore an' paranormal inves'iga'ah! Pardon moi rough language o' earlier." She looked Ansem and Sephiroth up and down. "Cor, Oi lucked ou' on this case, tha' Oi did!"
"'Paranormal Investigator?'" echoed Sephiroth doubtfully. He turned to Ansem. "The others are gonna kill you, you know."
"I know," Ansem said, warily watching Sakkaku, who was looking at them with a strange look. The unlikely trio went back in the house, Sakkaku leaving her Vespa on the street.
"No one'll nick that piece o' shit, iffen ye follow me," she said in response to their questioning look. She scratched the tip of her nose, and pushed up her glasses. "Roight. 'Ow long yew tew been livin' 'ere?"
"A couple of years, we think. About two," Sephiroth answered.
"Around thirteen others live here as well, but they're out at the moment," Ansem said.
"Oi'm no' surprised. Big 'ouse. Noice, too," Sakkaku said, looking around. "So… tell me 'bout wot's been 'appenin' so's Oi know wot Oi'm up against."
Ansem and Sephiroth roughly outlined the events of the past two months. Sakkaku listened intently, especially to the account of what had happened to Vexen.
"So, 'e pronounced 'imself a skeptic, an' 'e go' 'is arm yanked?" she said. Ansem nodded. "Hmm… Ye've been livin' 'ere two years ye say?"
"About."
"Hmm… Tell me 'bout th' eyeballs again."
Ansem and Sephiroth had to repeat their story at least twice, because Sakkaku insisted that she hear every minute detail several times. Then she reached into her bag, and pulled out a notebook. In this, she recorded everything Sephiroth and Ansem had told her about, along with the names of the house's other inhabitants.
She poked around in all the rooms that had been involved, Ansem and Sephiroth watching bemusedly. She tapped walls, moved furniture with Sephiroth's help, and investigated everything she came across.
"Well, Oi think Oi migh' 'ave ter bring in a medium," she said, standing up after checking out the base of the cabinet that Larxene had seen the eyes behind. Sakkaku dusted off her hands, and headed back upstairs.
"A medium?" Sephiroth asked, glowering at Ansem. "How expensive is this going to end up being?"
"No' very. Yew gots an interestin' case 'ere. Oi 'aven't 'ad an interestin' one in ages!"
Sephiroth cast a doubtful look at Ansem. Sakkaku headed out the door, and picked up her Vespa. She kicked it a few times, and it roared into life. She grinned, and drove off down the street. Sephiroth turned to Ansem.
"You're mad," he proclaimed. Then he kissed Ansem. "But I love you anyway."
"Not here, you fool," Ansem said.
"Inside then."
-
Ansem awoke in Sephiroth's arms. Somehow, they'd managed to make it to the attic before going at it like rabbits. Ansem turned his head, and glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been a few hours since Sakkaku had left. Ansem shifted slightly, and groaned. He'd be feeling those few hours tomorrow. But Sephiroth was the sort where if you didn't keep up, you'd easily be overwhelmed. Ansem felt a chill course through him as he felt something clammy trail over his back. He stiffened, and pressed himself close to Sephiroth. The touch persisted, and he screwed up his face, trying not to cry out. He began shivering. Sephiroth awoke.
"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked, for Ansem looked very pale, and he was drenched with sweat. "Are you alright? Ansem!" Sephiroth cried. Ansem panted a few times, and fainted. "Ansem!" Sephiroth shook his unconscious lover, with no response. He sat up, the blankets falling away from his bare chest, still holding Ansem. Hastily, he grabbed his pants from wherever they'd landed and pulled them on, doing the same for Ansem.
He picked Ansem up, and carried him to the first floor, finding Vexen carrying two bags in one arm, his other in a sling.
"Sephiroth!" What happened?" he cried, dropping the bags.
"No time! What do I do?" Sephiroth snapped. Vexen helped Sephiroth get Ansem over to the couch, and then ran to the bathroom to grab a washcloth. Sephiroth laid a hand on Ansem's forehead. He was burning to the touch. He gripped Ansem's hand tightly.
By now, the others had arrived to find Ansem unconscious on the couch and Sephiroth holding his hand.
"What happened?" Marluxia demanded. Axel and Zexion looked at each other. Vexen returned with the wet washcloth, and laid it on Ansem's forehead. Slowly Sephiroth told them what had happened after they'd left, leaving nothing out. He told them about Sakkaku, and what they'd been doing, though he didn't go into the details.
Vexen ceased his examination of Ansem. "I think he'll live." Everyone heaved a sigh of relief, and Sephiroth was glad he was sitting.
"So what's wrong with him?" Namine asked.
"Stress and a cold, I'd say," Vexen replied. He turned to Sephiroth. "You should stay with him tonight, but leave him here on the couch. If he wakes up, have him drink something." Sephiroth stayed near Ansem the rest of the day and night, never leaving for anything. The others left them alone.
-
Towards morning, Ansem awoke slowly. He looked around. Sephiroth was asleep in the recliner, his head propped up on his fist.
"Sephiroth," Ansem croaked. Sephiroth jerked, and looked at Ansem. He surged forward, and helped him sit up. Sephiroth held Ansem tightly.
"You're awake," he whispered. Ansem relaxed against his lover's chest. "I had to tell the others. I wish we both could've, but…" Ansem shook his head.
"I understand," he said, his voice still something of a croak. He leaned against Sephiroth. He pretty much rested that day, leaning against Sephiroth. Towards noon, he fell asleep, as did Sephiroth.
-
Neh… my muses no likey yaoi… which is really weird. :P I need to stop listening to Beethoven while writing past nine… makes me sleepy… (zonk)