Review Section
justlikeyou: Thank you for the add. As a reward, here's more of the story.
Caitlin: Thank you for the compliment. Here's the next chapter.
S.O.N luva: Yeah, it was harsh, but it just wouldn't be Ashley if she didn't stand up for herself, right?
MistyRiver17: Yay! hugs and gives you a homemade cookie I'm glad you think that I'm keeping Spencer and Ashley in character. Right on for me! does the happy dance
swtypie1972: Yeah, I'm keeping it up.
NatitaluvsSmV: That's such a cute face. I kind of wish I could make it. scrunches up face Nope, doesn't work.
Mellyface: Reading your review made me giggly. Looks like we're both giggly.
His Keno Waitress: Of course there's drama. It'd be a pretty dull story if there were nothing for our protagonists to overcome, right?
Author's Note
First off, I'd like to say thank you to my readers and reviewers alike. While it's true that I write for myself more than for anyone else, it's always nice to know that somebody's liking my story. With that said, I may be taking a break from this story until I see the new episodes. I'll also see them late, because I don't get The N at college, so I'm having my family tape them. What do you guys think about me waiting until I see the new episodes to continue? Or do you want me to just continue the story and disregard whatever might come later? Anyway, I've talked long enough. On with the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Spencer or Ashley, or any of the other characters that might come into play here. They are all owned by the creator of South Of Nowhere, whose name escapes me.
It's Where You're Going
Chapter 4
By Persephone's Nautical Nun
I followed. What else could I do? I knew Ashley was angry, and I knew that I didn't want to be around her when she was angry. I mean, she's unpredictable when she's in a good mood. I can only guess how she is when she's pissed off. And after what happened to Clay the other night, I'm not about to take my chances being stranded in the middle of LA. Thanks, but I'm not that adventurous.
So, here I am, back in her car, looking at her. There's nothing else that I can do. I marvel at the way the sun streams in through the windshield to create a perfect spotlight on her face. I'm sure if she noticed it, she would make some kind of funny comment about being the center of attention. Or maybe she does notice it, and is too mad to say anything.
Those lips, that are normally laughing in my presence, are drawn into a tight frown. I can see the frown lines on her face. Frown lines created by years of mental and emotional abuse from her family, and everyone around her. I don't want to help make those frown lines deeper.
"What are you looking at?" she asked me out of nowhere. I guess she felt my eyes on her, or something.
How was I supposed to tell her that I was looking at her? How was I supposed to tell her that I was looking close enough to notice the frown lines and decide that I didn't want to help deepen them?
I think all of these things, but then I decide that it doesn't matter. The truth is easier to hear than anything sugar coated and fumbling out of my mouth. I've already taken a step towards my fear, I've already kissed her. It wouldn't be a shock to know that I was looking at her.
So, I say simply, "You."
She looked a little shocked at that, like she hadn't expected me to admit it. "Well, at least you're being honest, now."
The rest of the way, we sat in silence. The radio was on, but I couldn't tell you what was playing. I was too lost in my own thoughts.
Unsurprisingly, she didn't take me home. I found myself at an old, abandoned playground on the outskirts of town. She didn't look at me or say anything when she got out of the car. She just got out and started walking. So, I got out and walked, too.
She sat down on a swing, and all I could think of doing was to stand in front of her and watch. Watch her in all of the beauty that she possesses. I stood there, and I watched the wind blow her hair across her face. I watch her fingers try desperately to keep her hair behind her ears. I watched her eyes travel down to her feet. I watched her feet dig little holes in the gravel beneath them. And I watched her body sway gently on the swing.
I saw her look up at me, her eyes naked, not hiding anything. I've never seen her eyes so clear. They've always been clouded or masked by something. But, not now.
"Am I really that scary, Spence?"
I feel my body moving closer to her, kneeling in front of her. I feel warmth in my hands as I take hers in mine. And I feel shock waves course through my arms as I feel her fingertips start to gently massage my palms.
"Look, Ash. You should know more than anyone... how scared I am right now..."
"I know, Spence, but my reputation..."
"Your reputation shouldn't have anything to do with this. I know. But, Ashley, you flirt. Plain and simple. And I know you're all about having a good time. All I'm asking, Ash, is how you really feel about me."
She dropped her head and sighed. Maybe she knew this question was coming. Maybe she was used to it. Maybe not. But, she seemed to know how to answer it.
"Spence, I don't make a habit out of messing with my friends. I don't make a habit out of hurting people that I know I'll wind up missing. People have come in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. Everyone that I started to care about, either disappeared, or was ripped away by some outside force. So, yeah, I've adopted this wild child, rebellious persona. It's the only way that I've been able to live and not have to cry myself to sleep every night." She looked up at me, now. She wasn't crying, but she looked as if she wished she were. "Spencer, you're my friend, above all. I care about you. I'm not going to pull the same shit with you that I pull with everyone else. Especially right now, when you're confused, and scared. Too many6 people have taken advantage of me like that. I'm not about to do it to you."
I could think of nothing to do, but nod in understanding.
She took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. For the first time, she sounded scared. Her eyes were shiny. She had tears in them, somewhere. "Spencer, you have to know that I want to be with you. But, you also have to know that I understand how confused you are. I don't want to push you into anything. Until you know for sure what you want, I'm okay with being your friend. Just... don't leave, okay?"
I nodded, and slowly pulled her to her feet, wrapping my arms around her and holding her as close to me as I could. She seemed so frail that I knew if I let go, she would float away from me forever. On my shoulder, I felt the tears that had threatened her earlier.