Review Section
Daniela: I'm so glad you liked this chapter. It looks like I won't be taking the break I thought about after all.
MistyRiver17: I've run out of ways to tell you how much you rock. I love reading your reviews, and I look forward to yet another one.
NatitaluvsSmV: I love that my story makes you happy. Thank you for the compliment.
His Keno Waitress: Yeah, it looks like I'll be going on with this story, regardless of what happens later.
Whisperedrainbow: Your review has definitely made my favorites list. I am so proud that I'm managing to keep the girls in character. I was very concerned that Ashley was falling out of character with the last chapter, but you put my mind at ease. Thank you.
Justlikeyou: Yes, it looks like I'll be continuing this story. I know you'll be glad to hear that.
Author's Notes
Due to unanimous vote for me to continue the story, disregarding future episodes, I've decided to keep going. With that said, this chapter is dedicated to MistyRiver17 for doing my research, and justlikeyou for knowing about wonderful sites that let me download wonderful things.
Disclaimer: I do not own Spencer or Ashley, or any of the other characters that might or might not come into play here. They all belong to Tom Lynch, the creator of South Of Nowhere.
It's Where You're Going
Chapter 5
By Persephone's Nautical Nun
Who would have thought that I, Ashley Davies, would be here, wrapped in Spencer Carlin's arms, and crying, in the middle of an old playground, while the sun is setting? I mean, really, we could be doing a thousand different, and better things than this.
Still, her arms do feel good.
But, this is not what I expected to happen. I expected her to figure out her feelings, and run helplessly into my arms. I'm the veteran lesbian here, right? It just makes sense for it to happen that way.
Then again, I should have known things wouldn't go according to plan. Plans always change. That's really the only constant in life.
I composed myself and reluctantly pulled away from her, leaving my hands resting on her shoulders. I just had to have some contact with her. I can't explain why.
"So, are we better, now?" I asked, giving her my best smile.
She rewarded me with a soft chuckle, a smile, and a vigorous nod.
"Great," I said, before taking her hand in mine and leading her toward my car. "Let's go hit the madness."
She waited until we were in the safety of a moving vehicle to tell me that she wasn't up for the madness tonight.
"Come on, Ash, you know as well as I do that my mom would freak."
This was true. Her mother was way overprotective. Spencer took that for granted, though. As much as I wish her mom would lighten up, I have to admit that I'm jealous of Spencer for having parents like that. They really did care about her, you know? More than my parents did for me, anyway.
Still, I didn't want to leave her, yet. "Well, okay. How about I shelter you at my place?"
Spencer scoffed at me. "Yeah, right, Ash. Like my mom would really go for that. On a school night. Hell, I'd be lucky to swing that on a weekend."
"Spencer, Spencer, Spencer," I said in the best parenting tone I could muster. "You're giving up without even trying. Now I KNOW your mother didn't teach you that."
She shook her head and looked at me, a small grin on her face. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her eyes travel over my body for a brief moment. She was beaten. She'd at least make the phone call.
"All right, fine. I'll call my mom when we get to your place."
Things were pretty much uneventful until we got back to my place. Sure, there was idle chit chat, but nothing of any real substance. Nothing that mattered. Maybe we couldn't handle that many emotions in such a short time period. Who knows?
If I were asked to explain why I wanted Spencer with me that night, I couldn't answer it. There was just something pulling at me, telling me that I shouldn't let her go, yet. Like everything wasn't as worked out as I thought it was. No. Things weren't worked out at all. I mean, yes, she felt better because she knows how I feel, but she's still mega confused. Well, I'm not going to rush that. I just didn't want to be alone.
I had left Spencer alone while she called her mom. Hearing me in the background would probably influence her decision, and not in my favor. Of course, she knew where Spencer was, but still. Maybe if it was quiet, I might earn a few brownie points. Not likely, I know, but a girl can hope, right?
I did, however, manage to catch the tail end of their conversation.
"I know it's a school night... We have a big test tomorrow, and we're studying for it. We're probably going to be late... I didn't want to wake you guys up... Yes, Mom... I understand... Thank you."
I leaned my shoulder on the door frame of my room. "Somebody's taken to lying to their parents. I always thought you felt a little funny lying to them."
"Yeah, well," she was quiet for a minute, then said, "Sometimes you have to lie to live. Sometimes you don't."
Whoa. Did that really just come out of innocent, little, Spencer's mouth? "You have more surprises up your sleeves than I thought, there, Carlin."
She cocked an eyebrow and approached me. "Oh, yeah?" And before I knew what was happening, her hand was behind my head, and her mouth was covering my own... forcefully.
I pulled away almost immediately. Something wasn't right. "Spencer, look, don't do anything you're not ready for."
"I know, Ash. But, it's not like you're going to wait around for me forever."
I sighed and felt my lips draw into a tiny line of frustration. "Why do you think that's all I'm interested in? I thought I just got through telling you that I'm fine waiting until you've figured everything out."
She walked over and sat down on my bed. She had a determined look on her face, not sheepish like she did in the park. "It's that point where you know what you want, and feeling safe enough to go for it."
Okay, the quoting me thing, was getting on my nerves. She wasn't me. Didn't she understand that? All the shit I've gone through with this, I don't want her going through it, too.
I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders, and looked her square in the eye. "I am not going to put you through all of the craziness that I was put through when I was figuring things out. You do this on your own. No one can answer your questions but you."
She shook her head in frustration, like there was something I wasn't getting. "I want to be with you, Ashley. Why don't you get that?"
"I do. Believe me, I get that. But, I want to make absolutely sure that you know what you want. And once you know exactly what you want, I want to go really slow. Because, Spence, if this isn't what you want, and we get too caught up in this... well, it gets really complicated."
I knew that she was trying not to think of that. I could tell by the way her eyes changed right after I said it. She was trying not to think of the possibility that she could hurt me. But, she had to think of it. Because it wouldn't just hurt me. It would hurt her, too. It would probably hurt her worse than it would hurt me. Because I'm used to all of this. She's not.
I pushed her shoulders back, silently telling her to lay down. She obeyed, and I lied down beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. Tight enough to tell her that I wanted to keep her with me, but loose enough to let her know that I wasn't going to weight her down. "Let's just lay here, okay? Let's just be with each other like this. No complications this way."
She leaned forward and gave me the gentlest of kisses, much like the first one we shared. Her voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. But, I did. I heard the tiny thank you she whispered in the darkness.