EPISODE TWO: Challenge in the chatroom-in-a-parchment! PART 1 cuz there's still more to come!
DISCLAIMER: Honestly…
The seventh years headed to the North tower for their Defense Against the Dark Arts. Their new professor was- in everybody's opinion- as fun and energetic as a dial tone. Brilliant! Time for another chatroom-in-a-parchment!
The moment the seventh year students (now with their fellow Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw schoolmates) were seated, Professor McGonagall came in (to everyone's surprise, as she was not the DADA teacher) and everyone hushed down. Nobody was foolish enough to even create a sound in McGonagall's presence.
"You may all be wondering what the f-hell I am doing here," she started. "Well, first off is to inform you students that Ms. Scott, your DADA professor, will not be attending to you today."
Dean raised his hand. "Please, Professor. Do tell us why."
"It is because, erm… She had met an accident."
Everyone in the room gasped. Lavender squeaked "What happened? Is she dead?"
"No," said McGonagall, taking off her glasses and wiping it with the hem of her robes. "Worse."
"Aha!" Pansy shouted triumphantly, which made them all jump. Harry saw all the Slytherins sniggering… Yeah well, except Draco. McGonagall, red with anger and astonishment, tried to say something but Pansy continued. "I knew it! The moans we heard from the broom closet while we were headed to our common room! It was from Professor Scott and Professor Vector!"
The room collectively gasped. Even Professor McGonagall, who had forgotten her anger, gasped. "That ass! And she told us the entire time that she was raped by Professor Vector!"
Again, another collective gasp. Hermione said quietly, "P-professor? Wouldn't it be nicer if you had just shut your mouth in the first place? Save us some effort gasping and thinking about that flirtatious whore?" Harry nudged her. Luckily, Professor McGonagall was too busy wiping her drool and did not hear her.
"S-so that accident…" said Ernie Macmillan, thinking deeply. "Is her being pregnant?"
"Yes, Ernie. But promise me, seventh years, not to tell anybody about that piece of information!" said McGonagall, with a tinge of pink on her cheeks. Uh-oh. One look at Parvati and Lavender's faces- something tells me that the secret won't be a secret before long…
"Yes, Professor," said the class in unison.
McGonagall breathed a sigh of relief. "Very good. Now secondly, I'm here to assign a seatwork!"
Again, the students gasped altogether. McGonagall became irritated and slammed her fist on the table. "Honestly! Can't you do any more than gasp!" The whole class went quiet. McGonagall glared at each and every one of the students and turned her back to them and wrote the seatwork on the blackboard. The students reluctantly searched their bags for some quill, ink, and parchment.
On the blackboard: Explain the uses of a) the Impediment curse and b) the Stupefying curse. Then, give FIFTY examples each. With love, Professor Minerva McGonagall…
The students, as soon as they saw what was written on the board, shrieked (Pansy's was loudest; Ron's was second). McGonagall was surprised and jumped. Clutching her heart and breathing heavily, she cried "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU IDIOTS! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU SCREAM FOR!"
Everyone was silent at first, until Pansy decided to speak. "Well, we weren't allowed to gasp. So how can we show our emotions?"
Millicent backed her up. "Yeah. I mean, you didn't tell us that you become irritated by shrieks too."
McGonagall looked thoughtful. "Oh yeah. Good point. Well then, I'll be off. Be back in two hours," she said, and walked out of the room.
TWO HOURS PASSED
McGonagall let them off, and everyone skipped to the Great Hall for lunch. Everyone seemed to carry a smile on their faces. Even the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws who had their first time! The reason: another chatroom had circulated, to everyone's delight. Finally! Something to give them a break once in a while from slaving themselves with the seatwork!
CHATROOM 7, 556, 903
MODERATOR: DRACO
>Chavo
Message: Yo guys! Draco here! DADA's up! I hate seat works!
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>drakiemahdear
Message: You're right, Drakie! I feel the same way too! Oh, we are so REALLY meant to be! By the way, s'me- Pansy the pretty!
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>Chavo
Message: EEEWW…
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>sadisticflirt
Message: Awww… you guys are so sweet! Parvati here!
Footnote: I CAUGHT BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>imaballerina246
Message: Yo! Mione here! Since we're all up, how 'bout a challenge?
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Nevilleshortbottom
Message: Cool! We get to wrestle Mione!
Footnote: SOME STUPID FOOTNOTE.
>imaballerina246
Message: Er, Neville? Not that kind of challenge…
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: Hey! Ron's online! What is this challenge thingy, Mione?
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: I'll do the explaining, Mione m'dear… The moderator gets to give some scenes and it's up to us chatters to formulate a fiction out of them. Harry loves Mione! Hurrah!
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Chavo
Message: Cool! I get to be the star!
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: This is Dean! And this is gonna be fun!
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>cleansweep2005
Message: Lavender just told me that I acquired bad breath from not talking for the past half hour… I resent that remark! I do not have bad breath and it's more fun interacting in the chatroom than chatting with our mouths anyways… Besides, it's good to give our vocal chords a break every once in a while!
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>prefect666
Message: Who the heck is cleansweep2005? By the way, I'm Ernie… Mind if I join in?
Footnote: I AM THE WORLD'S FATTEST PREFECT!
>brownishlavender
Message: Cleansweep2005 just so happens to be the world's largest prat Seamus Finnigan! Welcome, chatters old and new… Lavender Brown…
Footnote: BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>pigsnout
Message: This is Hannah Abbott! I must say I am totally impressed! This is a great idea!
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Newbies, introduce yourselves first!
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>prefect666
Message: Ernie Macmillan from Hufflepuff…
Footnote: I AM THE WORLD'S FATTEST PREFECT!
>pigsnout
Message: I already did… Hannah Abbott…
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>scaredofsnakes
Message: I have a phobia on snakes… It's because of what happened when we were still second years… Can you guess? Justin Finch-Fletchey here…
Footnote: AU CONTRAIRE, SNAKES ARE QUITE LOVELY… NOT.
>prettypadma
Message: Yo people! It's little miss Padma Patil!
Footnote: NOBODY KNOWS I SNOG IN THE LOOS! WAHAHA!
>bootterryboot
Message: Great, 'tis a good nick… No one can guess who I am…
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>Prettypadma
Message: Damn these footnotes!
Footnote: NOBODY KNOWS I SNOG IN THE LOOS! WAHAHA!
>corporealpatronus
Message: Susan Bones…
Footnote: WHATCHA DOIN' IN MY BATH TUB!
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Riiigghhht…
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>ihavecutefreckles
Message: Eloise Midgen here!
Footnote: I HAVE CUTE FRECKLES. I GOT THEM FROM THE SUN.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: RIIIGGHHHT…
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Chavo
Message: Yup, that's everyone then… On with the challenge?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>imaballerina246
Message: On with it!
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: Wetting myself with excitement… Haw haw…
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>Chavo
Message: Alright, here goes… Scene one: Hermione and a pregnant Harry. Scene two: Hermione kissing Crookshanks, who turned into Neville. Scene three: Hermione up a tree, hitting Harry with apples. Scene four: Voldie wears a wedding dress while hitting Harry with a wedding cake… and a rather huge one at that! There, see if you can turn that into a story!
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>prefect666
Message: Let's give it a try. Ahem. Once, there were two friends who were too ashamed to admit their feelings for one another. They were Harry and Hermione… Pass.
Footnote: I AM THE WORLD'S FATTEST PREFECT!
>brownishlavender
Message: Erm… One day, Snape divided the class into pairs. This was for a project. Each pair was to submit a flask of any kind of rare potion. Harry and Mione wounded up as partners. Pass.
Footnote: BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>pigsnout
Message: Er… I'm having writer's block. Sorry. Pass.
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>imaballerina246
Message: Wow guys. This is what poor, innocent, popular couples get.
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Intriguing. Can I join?
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Chavo
Message: No. We be the reviewers.
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Aawww…
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>nottyourordinaryguy (Theodore Nott)
Message: One day, Harry led Hermione to the Prefect's Bathroom! He pinned Hermione to the wall and brutally kissed her and violently ripped off her clothes and savagely raped her!
Footnote: AND ANOTHER STUPID FOOTNOTE…
>imaballerina246
Message: What the!
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: THEODORE NOTT YOU MORONIC PIECE OF SH.! YOU M. F.! BASTARD! ASS H.! SON OF A B.!
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>imaballerina246
Message: Baby Harry, calm down. Breathe deeply. Now, to handle this kind of situations, you need to be calm. THEODORE NOTT! YOU FUCKIN SH.! YOU PIECE OF BLOODY MODAFACKA! PERVERT! SCUM! PRAT! IDIOT! BASTARD!
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Mione, calm down.
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>scaredofsnakes
Message: Whatever happened to Miss Self-control?
Footnote: AU CONTRAIRE, SNAKES ARE QUITE LOVELY… NOT.
>cleansweep2005
Message: Now, now, nothing beyond PG-13 please…
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>Nevilleshortbottom
Message: No fighting, please?
Footnote: SOME STUPID FOOTNOTE.
>Chavo
Message: Er… Let's erase Nott's part, shan't we?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>nottyourordinaryguy
Message: Harumph! Bah, humbug.
Footnote: AND ANOTHER STUPID FOOTNOTE…
>fulhamfootballfanatic (Dean Thomas)
Message: On with the story!
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>Prettypadma
Message: Right. So, they made a potion. A rare one. It's called the Draught of Everlasting Luck. Only, the brewers ran out of luck. Harry messed it up- again. Instead of putting crushed dittany, he put octopus powder!
Footnote: NOBODY KNOWS I SNOG IN THE LOOS! WAHAHA!
>greggygoyle
Message: I'll bet dhe poishon waent ball-istic. It sayed 'boom'!
Footnote: MY DONG IS AS HEALTHY AS MY ARSE, THANKS.
>bootterryboot
Message: Right! And your spelling's improved, Goyle!
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>greggygoyle
Message: Yahoow! Thenks!
Footnote: MY DONG IS AS HEALTHY AS MY ARSE, THANKS.
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: On with the story!
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>sadisticflirt
Message: After the cauldron exploded, and the smoke cleared, they saw that Mione acquired a BIG, GIGANTIC, HUMONGUOUS tummy! She was bloody pregnant!
Footnote: I CAUGHT BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>imaballerina246
Message: I'd say that was quite exaggerated.
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: I can't imagine Mione pregnant… I could imagine that she swallowed a whole watermelon though… What does that mean?
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: It means that you're gonna be the father of a baby the same size as Goyle's dong, Harry… (misty voice like Trelawney's)
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>blueeyeswhitedragon (Blaise Zabini)
Message: ROTFL (Rolling on the floor laughing)…
Footnote: I AINT NO FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD.
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: On with the story!
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>Chavo
Message: I thought I said it was Harry who gets pregnant?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>billybobbobbybill
Message: We're getting there! Anyway, Harry felt it was his fault, so he suggested that they do a sort of counter potion- together. Pass…
Footnote: BILLYBOB… BOBBYBILL…
>vincentcrabbe
Message: Yay! I gate to writ deh stowrey!
Footnote: SLITHERYN HAUSE RULEZ!
>drakiemahdear
Message: Hi guys! I just grabbed the parchment from Crabbe. Believe me, you won't be able to understand a thing if you leave him with the plot…
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>corporealpatronus
Message: Alright. Lemme give it a shot. Harry and Mione did the counter potion but Harry messed it up again. Instead of putting diced dragon heart, he put in jelly slugs!
Footnote: WHATCHA DOIN' IN MY BATH TUB!
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Hang on, how did jelly slugs get into the story?
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>corporealpatronus
Message: Erm… It just came across my mind.
Footnote: WHATCHA DOIN' IN MY BATH TUB!
>cleansweep2005
Message: Right. And the potion goes 'boom' again, I suppose?
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>imaballerina246
Message: What do you expect it to do? Sprout an arm out and say 'Hello'?
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>cleansweep2005
Message: Everyone hates good ol' Seamus today…
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>Nevilleshortbottom
Message: Can I have a go? So when the potion went off, and the smog cleared, they found that they switched bodies! Surprisingly, the baby changed bodies too!
Footnote: SOME STUPID FOOTNOTE.
>Chavo
Message: Way to go, Longbottom! Er, Shortbottom…
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: On to scene two! Yay!
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>blueeyeswhitedragon
Message: Right. So they planned on doing the counter potion again- sans Harry's assistance- but it requires Cat fur! Who do they call?
Footnote: I AINT NO FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD.
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: Ghost busters!
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>Chavo
Message: Bloody hell…
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>imaballerina246
Message: Meow! They go to Crookshanks, of course!
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: Right. But when they went to Crookshanks, and sensed that they were about to rip his fur off, he suddenly spoke- in Neville's voice! He said, 'Please. An experiment had gone wrong and me and Crookshanks switched bodies! I don't wanna feel the pain! Please return me to my body first please!'
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Now that is an interesting twist!
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Chavo
Message: Oh, Ronald, Ronniekins… I'm so proud of you (Imitating Luna's voice)…
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>Pukinpastilles
Message: Shut up, Draco. Anyways, how do they bring back Neville and Crookshanks to normal? Only if Hermione kisses Neville! Crookshanks, I mean…
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>ihavecutefreckles
Message: Right. So Hermione kisses Crookshanks, and poof! Turns into Neville! Then Crookshanks- the real one- comes along, and then they rip off its fur! Oh, and afterwards, their hands were full of slashes!
Footnote: I HAVE CUTE FRECKLES. I GOT THEM FROM THE SUN.
>imaballerina246
Message: Oh, poor Crookshanks…
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Nevilleshortbottom
Message: It's great! Now we're going somewhere! But I'm afraid it's already time!
Footnote: SOME STUPID FOOTNOTE.
>Chavo
Message: Holy sh.! It's already two minutes before lunch… I guess there's gonna be a part two?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>cleansweep2005
Message: Of course there will be! It's COMC next anyways. We're all together again. Well then, lunchtime!
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>brownishlavender
Message: I'm looking forward to meeting you guys in the chatroom next lesson! Tootles! I love you all!
Footnote: BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>imaballerina246
Message: SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME! HAPPY LUNCH! I LOVE YOU ALL! I LOVE YOU HARRY!
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
Professor McGonagall walked in and Accio-ed the seat works. Draco held tight to the chatroom, so as not to be gathered by McGonagall accidentally. "Lunch time! Class dismissed!"
(Thank you all for the reviews! Keep them coming! Anyways, the chatroom-in-a-parchment gets wackier and wackier every lesson! That's why everyone is so addicted to it!)
(Next chapter: And a chatroom in the Great Hall during lunch? The other years take part! This is gonna be fun… and difficult to write!)
(Note: a footnote is… uhm… it's like your motto or just your principles or just something that comes across your mind that you want the world to see. You can change it depending on your mood, your feelings, likes, dislikes, experiences, how your mind works, etc…)
(And anyway, to those whose complaints I have not satisfied with this chappie, I am so TERRIBLY sorry… You could always review me again until my numb skull gets it right… And thank you all… I LOVE YOU ALL GUYS!)
(P. S. Please check out my other stories too… Thanks!)