EPISODE FOUR: Challenge in the chatroom-in-a-parchment part 2!
DISCLAIMER: If JKRowling would give the Harry Potter plot to me then I'd be the happiest person alive…
The seventh years settled in front of Hagrid's hut and brought out their quills, parchment and –for safety- wands. Draco held his tightly, acting as if a monster may emerge from the forest and suddenly attack them all. Ron wasn't better; he had only his wand out, holding it like a sword in front of him. Yes, this was Care of Magical Creatures under Professor Rubeus Hagrid- you had better be ready for anything. If luck's not anywhere with you then you may end up in the infirmary with your arm ripped off… or worse, your (gulp) balls… (shudder)
Right on cue, Hagrid stepped out of the hut (everyone except Harry and Hermione backed off; Ron and Draco looked like they may pee in their pants) and greeted everyone a "Good afternoon".
"Good afternoon," half of the class answered. Hagrid didn't seem to notice (as usual). He whistled to nothing or no one in particular. The class held their breaths and waited, when two large birds with pure-white feathers and yellow beaks and orange tails flew to Hagrid and perched on either of his shoulders. The class released their breaths and sighed with relief, seeing as they were not studying anything dangerous today. Meanwhile, Hagrid continued his speech with a cheerful tone.
"Today, we're studyin' Avifors. Can anyone tell me what they are?" Hagrid's voice boomed. Hermione automatically raised her hand.
"Avifors are birds that indicate the type of weather we are having. If it sings a cheerful tone, then the day will turn out to be sunny. If it sings a mournful tune, the day will either be rainy or stormy."
"Very good, 'Mione," said Hagrid, beaming widely. "Ten points ter Gryffindo'. Now, what I want you ter do is ter bring out a piece of parchment –and quills, o'course- and draw an' label the parts of an Avifor and take notes abou' them. Ter be submitted at the end of our lesson. Get to work."
The students need not be told twice and obeyed. The Gryffindors and Draco crowded around one Avifor nestled on a fence. They began to draw (and –of course- chat while drawing!). Harry was about to note the shape of the creature's beak when a parchment was shoved on his face. But he was not anymore curious as to what it is, for he himself had been expecting it…
CHATROOM 7, 556, 903
MODERATOR: DRACO
>Chavo
Message: Ei, guys! Draco here! Anythin' new?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>Nevilleshortbottom
Message: Yes. Did you know elephants could fly?
Footnote: SOME STUPID FOOTNOTE.
>Chavo
Message: Shortbottom, I said 'new', not 'booboo'…
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>imaballerina246
Message: Hey! This is Hermione!
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: Ron here! My balls are aching with the way I sit. But Draco? Nooo! It's he who always gets the biggest sitting space!
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>Chavo
Message: That's because I've got bigger balls than you do, Weasel. That's the way it is! You learn this kind of things in Biochemistry!
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>Pukinpastilles
Message?
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>imaballerina246
Message: Uh, Drakie? I think Biochemistry's about chemicals and stuff? Not measurements of balls or something…
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Chavo
Message?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>harrythehippogriff
Message: DO YOU MIND? SOME OF US HAVE GOT EDUCATION IN OUR MINDS!
Footnote: I AM ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>imaballerina246
Message?
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Heh heh… I was just kidding. It's Harry, by the way.
Footnote: I AM ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>brownishlavender
Message: Hey! Lav here. How 'bout the challenge?
Footnote: BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: Dean here… What were the scenes again?
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>Chavo
Message: Scene three: Hermione's up an apple tree and pelting Harry with apples; Four: Voldemort is clad in a wedding gown and hitting Harry with a huge wedding cake!
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>sadisticflirt
Message: Parvati here! Sorry. Seamus accidentally hit me with a shovel so my mind is quite foggy right now.
Footnote: I CAUGHT BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>Cleansweep2005
Message: It was not a shovel- it was a rake! Seamus here… And I didn't do it on purpose!
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>imaballerina246
Message: Sheesh, knock it off and hand this parchment over to the others.
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Uh, Mione? There's a problem. We are at least fifteen meters away from any of the other houses! How are we going to pass it off to them?
Footnote: I AM ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Chavo
Message: No prob, I've got a plan…
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
As soon as the others had read what Draco had written, he muttered a spell on the parchment and crumpled it up. "But the ink's gonna blot!" gasped Hermione. Draco winked at her.
"What good are my academic skills, then?" he asked, and threw the crumpled heap as hard as he could. It hit Pansy Parkinson square on her head. The Gryffindors giggled nervously while Hermione scowled.
"Draco! You git! You could've been caught! What were you thinking?" she started to blab.
"Hermione," he said calmly. "Have you forgotten that I'm a Quidditch player? And a handsome one at that! (Ron and Harry pretended to choke; Draco rounded on them) Oh, shaddup, you two!"
The Gryffindors and Draco continued to work (some, like Lav, Parvati, Seamus, Dean, Ron and Draco were not really working but comparing each other's notes) while all the while glimpsing over at the Slytherins who were huddled together tightly. Hagrid was confidently supervising the class, thinking that the students were really into the seatwork.
A little later, they saw Pansy approach Hagrid, looking as if she was asking something really important. However, she kept glancing at the Slytherins who were skeptically eyeing the Hufflepuffs.
"Hmmm…," said Harry thoughtfully, watching Pansy. "I wonder if…"
"Well, wonder no more," said Hermione. "Take a look at the Slytherins."
The Gryffindors turned to watch. Goyle, a Quidditch beater for his house, aimed the crumpled parchment at the oblivious Hufflepuffs and threw it as hard as he could. It landed on the parchment of Justin Finch-Fletchey, who was so surprised of the sudden intrusion that he jumped a foot high and stepped on Hannah Abott's foot.
The Gryffindors joined the Slytherins in chokes of silent laughter. The Hufflepuffs huddled around the parchment.
After they all had their share, Ernie threw the parchment at the Ravenclaws (it hit Terry Boot in the forehead, causing him to topple and fall over his seat; Draco and Ron had hiccups because of too much laughter).
And the cycle was repeated again and again (without getting caught, thankyouverymuch) until they all finished with their works and it was time to leave. They all headed to the Transfiguration classroom. All the while, they could hear Terry Boot complaining and muttering nonsense. Harry turned to Hermione, who had a serious look on her face.
"Problem, my dear?" he asked gently.
Hermione looked at his gorgeous eyes. "I was just thinking… I'm gonna miss this so much. Our schoolmates, this chatroom, this laughter, this fun, and even this school itself. I really wanted to cry…"
Harry pulled her aside and hugged her dearly, ignoring the aww's from all the people around them. "I feel the same way too, Mione," he said. "It's been our second home, anyway. But we'll all see each other again… I'll make sure of that."
"Thanks, Harry," Hermione whispered.
"Uh," said Ron tentatively, causing the lovers to pull apart. "We've got classes, ya know."
As they headed to their next class, the two reread the parchment they are sure they will sorely miss after Hogwarts…
(cont'd…)
>drakiemahdear
Message: Hey, dammit! Who the fuck threw that parchment? Cause I'm gonna punch the light bulbs outta him/her!
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>greggygoyle
Message: Uh, pAns Sy, I thenk its DrACo whow throwed dhe pargement…
Footnote: MY DONG IS AS HEALTHY AS MY ARSE, THANKS.
>nottyourordinaryguy
Message: Nott here! Need me to translate Goyle's message for you, Pansy?
Footnote: AND ANOTHER STUPID FOOTNOTE…
>drakiemahdear
Message: Uh… Yeah?
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>nottyourordinaryguy
Message: Translation from troll language to English: Uh, Pansy, I think it's Draco who threw the parchment…
Footnote: AND ANOTHER STUPID FOOTNOTE…
>drakiemahdear
Message: Why that scumbag! I'll smash him to a pulp if it's the last thing I… Wha-? Wha-? WHAT? DRACO? Oh, goodness, of course I don't mean that. After all, it was only a stupid parchment and a stupid head-
>billybobbobbybill
Message: Sorry. Had to snatch that parchment from Pansy… Otherwise, she'd keep blabbing on it all afternoon. Anyways, will someone start this challenge?
Footnote: BILLYBOB… BOBBYBILL…
>vincentcrabbe
Message: I weel staret eat four yu, Miliscent!
Footnote: SLITHERYN HAUSE RULEZ!
>billybobbobbybill
Message: It is meant to have a plot, Crabbe… Puh-lease…
Footnote: BILLYBOB… BOBBYBILL…
>blueeyeswhitedragon
Message: Okay, let's do this. Ahem… So they got the cat fur from Hermione's fox, and then they made the potion. But Harry messed it all up- AGAIN!
Footnote: I AINT NO FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD.
>drakiemahdear
Message: What happens, you ask? Well, the potion sort of exploded on the two of them again. And… wel, you know Hermione Granger, she just loves her face too much.
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>greggygoyle
Message: Hewe meen it distroyd her face?
Footnote: MY DONG IS AS HEALTHY AS MY ARSE, THANKS.
>drakiemahdear
Message: Worse… IT GAVE HER ACNE LARGER THAN MIDGEN'S! AND IT GAVE HER THE CHIPMUNK AGAIN! AND- GASP!- IT STRAIGHTENED HER EYELASHES!
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>billybobbobbybill
Message: B-b-but… That's horrible!
Footnote: BILLYBOB… BOBBYBILL…
>drakiemahdear
Message: I know… That's why we should pass this on to the Hufflepuffs! Let's see 'em give this a shot!
Footnote: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!
>scaredofsnakes
Message: Dammit, you idiots! I stepped on Hannah Abbott's foot! Ernie'll kill me!
Footnote: AU CONTRAIRE, SNAKES ARE QUITE LOVELY… NOT.
>prefect666
Message: Well, I was only planning to wring the Bejesus outta you… But killing you is- ah… Such a nice idea…
Footnote: I AM THE WORLD'S FATTEST PREFECT!
>pigsnout
Message: 'Tis Hannah… Now, now, Ernie, you are a Head Boy… Now, BEHAVE YOURSELF, YOU DUMBSKULL! YOU IGNORANT PRAT!
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>prefect666
Message: Oh, yeah, right, sorry… I jus- WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE HEAD GIRL TOO!
Footnote: I AM THE WORLD'S FATTEST PREFECT!
>pigsnout
Message: Oh, yeah, forgot about that last bit. Sowee…
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>ihavecutefreckles
Message: Eloise Midgen here… To Pansy Pugface: I have NOT got large acne! Anyways, I was looking forward to this challenge! So when Hermione found that her beautiful face was destroyed, she broke off with Harry and ran to the Quidditch field.
Footnote: I HAVE CUTE FRECKLES. I GOT THEM FROM THE SUN.
>pigsnout
Message: And Harry chased her.
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>prefect666
Message: Wha- good contribution. Anyways, let's pretend there was a large apple tree that grew behind the bleachers. Now, Hermione ran to the tree for comfort.
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>ihavecutefreckles
Message?
Footnote: I HAVE CUTE FRECKLES. I GOT THEM FROM THE SUN.
>pigsnout
Message: Oh, we understand you perfectly well, oh master of our daylight hours…
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>prefect666
Message: MEANING, SHE STAYED AT THE TREE FOR COMFORT! COMFORT OF BEING ALONE, YOU DOLTS!
Footnote: PIGSNOUT, THIS REALLY IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY!
>pigsnout
Message: Wow. New footnote.
Footnote: SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS IS GONNA BE A BAD DAY…
>scaredofsnakes
Message: Anyways, Harry found her on the apple tree and tried to apologize. But Hermione was so angry, she threw apples at Harry. Some hit Harry on the head, on the chest, on the knees, on his balls- you get the point.
Footnote: AU CONTRAIRE, SNAKES ARE QUITE LOVELY… NOT.
>ihavecutefreckles
Message: Riggghhht… Well, we've done our part. Pass this on, now.
Footnote: I HAVE CUTE FRECKLES. I GOT THEM FROM THE SUN.
>bootterryboot
Message: Okay, that does it! First, Parv Patil hits me with a pipe. Then, Millicent stomps on my foot. Now, this! AAARRRGHHH!
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>Prettypadma
Message: Terry, don't be such a spoilsport! Anyways, Padma here. Forgive Parvati, she's just so inconsiderate today. So, where were we? Ah, yes… Harry was so upset because Hermione was so upset. So, he surprised Hermione- with a potion that he made himself. It was meant to restore your face back to normal beauty.
Footnote: NOBODY KNOWS I SNOG IN THE LOOS! WAHAHA!
>ilovegoldfish
Message: New chatter Anthony Goldstein here! I caught the flu yesterday, so Madam Pomfrey didn't allow me to attend the morning session. Anyways, Hermione's face was back to normal, but the potion was- er- multitasking? It also transported them to another dimension- to the place where Voldemort's wedding was taking place!
Footnote: I LOVE GOLDFISH. GET IT?
>bootterryboot
Message: What. A. Twist. So, when Voldie found out that they gate-crashed the party, he quickly levitated the wedding cake towards Hermione!
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>Prettypadma
Message: And I thought you were such a sour lemon today…
Footnote: NOBODY KNOWS I SNOG IN THE LOOS! WAHAHA!
>corporealpatronus
Message: But Harry was the hero, wasn't he? He quickly pulled out his trusty ol' wand and waved it at Voldie…
Footnote: WHATCHA DOIN' IN MY BATH TUB!
>bootterryboot
Message: And then what happens?
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>corporealpatronus
Message: Well, you know Harry's not really that good when he's pressured. So, he messed up his wandwork again. Interchanged the groom's and the bride's clothing. Voldie was so angry.
Footnote: WHATCHA DOIN' IN MY BATH TUB!
>ilovegoldfish
Message: Oohh… Betcha Hermione's angrier.
Footnote: I LOVE GOLDFISH. GET IT?
>corporealpatronus
Message: Well… No. Coz it worked. The cake hit Harry instead.
Footnote: WHATCHA DOIN' IN MY BATH TUB!
>bootterryboot
Message: Oh.
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>ilovegoldfish
Message: Well, like an old friend used to say, 'What. A. Twist.'
Footnote: I LOVE GOLDFISH. GET IT?
>bootterryboot
Message: Er, Anthony? I just said it a while back.
Footnote: I SNOGGED PRETTYPADMA IN THE LOOS!
>ilovegoldfish
Message: Oh.
Footnote: I LOVE GOLDFISH. GET IT?
>Prettypadma
Message: Anyways, leave the plot to the Gryffindors. Hah. Let's see what they make of it. Wahahahahahahahahaha!
Footnote: NOBODY KNOWS I SNOG IN THE LOOS! WAHAHA!
>sadisticflirt
Message: Inconsiderate, am I? Well, ignore Padma coz she's just so immature today.
Footnote: I CAUGHT BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>imaballerina246
Message: What's the shape of the avifor's beak? More like a pear or peanut?
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: More like a kidney to me… Challenge's getting hilarious, by the way.
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
>brownishlavender
Message: Right… So Harry and Hermione must find a way out of that dimension. But how?
Footnote: BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>harrythehippogriff
Message: I know! I know!
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>Chavo
Message: No, you don't. We're the reviewers, remember?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>Nevilleshortbottom
Message: Look, it's a wedding. Everybody wants their wedding day to be special, right?
Footnote: SOME STUPID FOOTNOTE.
>sadisticflirt
Message: Right. So let's just say that Voldie's being kind only for that day cause it's his wedding. And he sent Harry and Hermione back to Hogwarts.
Footnote: I CAUGHT BROWNISH LAVENDER SNOGGING IN THE LOOS!
>imaballerina246
Message: Or threw us out of the reception, more like.
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Cleansweep2005
Message: Yeah. And then, when they got back, Hermione forgave Harry for saving her life… and her face… from the wedding cake.
Footnote: YEEHAWW!
>fulhamfootballfanatic
Message: And please allow me the honor of saying, 'And they live happily ever after. The end…'
Footnote: "CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT URANUS?"
>harrythehippogriff
Message: Wow, guys. That was… awesome.
Footnote: I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU AND YOUR BLOODY ARSE.
>imaballerina246
Message: Sniff. Thanks, guys. I will never forget this.
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Chavo
Message: It's been fun! Let's do this again sometime. Whoops, that's the bell! What was the shape of the beak again?
Footnote: I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY…
>imaballerina246
Message: Er… Peanut! Rush rush rush! Pant pant.
Footnote: I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SAY I GOT WHAT IT TAKES.
>Pukinpastilles
Message: Peanut it is! Er, the nut or the shell? Right- TO HAGRID!
Footnote: SUP LADIES, I CAN MAKE YOU DROOL.
(Right, please read this note of mine…)
(I know, I know, I know… S'been a while since I last made myself visible. Sorry, everyone... So, what's been keeping me busy? One: I'm creating my own blog site… I'll inform everyone when it's done. Two: I've got two more fanfictions, The Goose Girl and U. F. O. Baby. Please check them out and review! Thanks in advance!)
(And about this chapter… I know it's corny so please don't press it further. Every author has his/her own down days, you know. Anyways, thank you for all the reviews. I wish you could keep 'em coming. And- Oh, horrible, horrible flamers!)
(And yes, I forgot about one Anthony Goldstein... And I also forgot that Ernie and Hannah were supposed to be the Hufflepuff Head Boy and Girl... Please read and review!)