Hobbes sat on the bed that morning. Calvin had left for the last day of school before the winter holiday, where he would be off of school for three weeks. He found it rather dull reading the same comic books over and over again, despite having drawn mustaches on every picture of Captain Napalm.

Knowing that Calvin's parents were at work and at a book club, Hobbes decided to catch some television. He decided that he'd watch infomercials in order to find a good Christmas gift for Calvin. With a marker and a notepad, he went downstairs and turned on the TV.

However, he soon saw a frown face on the TV screen. It was pulled back and put in a news box, revealing a news anchor.

"This is So-And-So, covering the morning news," he said. "Today, there was a bit of a sour mood that has spread throughout the entire town. Despite the cheeriness of the holidays approaching, it seems that people are far too stressed with paying bills for gifts and shopping. It seems the Christmas spirit has left our town."

"Oh, shut up, So-And-So!" shouted the co-anchor. "You think you're so great with your superior title and all, but you're not! It's me, No One Important, that has to bring you the coffee that gets you working in the day."

"Hey, why don't you get a life!" said So-And-So. "Get out of here! I hate you and everything you stand for!"

They started to throw papers at each other, followed by coffee mugs, pencils, pens, clipboards and the news desk. It was when No One Important picked up the currently on camera and hurled it to the ground, and the screen went blank, making that long beep noise.

"And tidings of good joy to all people, they said," Hobbes muttered, and he changed the channel.

"Hiya, friends! Ralph Spoilsport, Ralph Spoilsport Motors, the world's largest new used and used new automobile dealership, Ralph Spoilsport Motors, here in the City of Emphysema. Let's just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders, two-way sneezethrough windvent, star-studded mudguards, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents, and factory air-conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped factory. It's a beautiful car, friends, with doors to match! Birch's Blacklist says this automobile was stolen, but for you, friends, the complete price, only two thousand five hundred dollars, in easy monthly payments of twenty-five dollars a week, twice a week, and never on Sundays."

Hobbes sighed. "I highly doubt he'd take a car from a guy with an arrow going through his head," he muttered. He changed the channel.

At school, things were going no better for Calvin. He was sitting at his desk, watching people scowl. He was the only one in the entire room without a storm cloud over their head, which was a surprise, because usually it was the other way around.

Miss Wormwood was known to be a grouch, but today she was particularly evil.

"Well, class, as you know, today is a half-day, in which you all go home to have fun on Christmas and New Year's. Meanwhile, I have to grade papers, sign stuff and spend it alone."

"Ha!" shouted a voice. "That's nothing! We have to spend time with relatives we don't like, get a bunch of gifts we hate, and we have to eat food we can't stomach!"

"Whoever said that gets detention!"

"Ha! I'll do you one better! I'll tee-pee your house!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Calvin was watching this conversation with great interest.

"What's with Miss Wormwood?" he whispered to Susie.

"Back off!" Susie shouted. "Stop breathing on me!"

Calvin backed off. Normally, he didn't care what happened, so long as we was annoying Susie, but this time he felt she would actually murder him.

"Hey, Twinky!" Moe yelled.

Calvin dared to look, and Moe socked him one right in the face, and Calvin flew into the chalkboard, making it fall off.

"Detention for you, Moe!" Miss Wormwood shouted, pointing the pointer at him.

Calvin picked himself up. "It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning," he muttered.

Mr. Spittle burst in. "What's going on in here?" he demanded.

"Get out of here!" Miss Wormwood yelled. "This is my class!"

"Well, this is my school!"

"Let's actually learn something today, huh?" Susie yelled.

"Shut up, this is getting good!" Candace snarled.

Soon, everyone was yelling. Mr. Spittle and Miss Wormwood were yelling about who should leave, and Susie was yelling at everyone else about education.

Calvin was the only who wasn't yelling. He was instead sitting on Miss Wormwood's desk and enjoying the show.

"What a way to spend the last of the first semester!" he chuckled.

However, it wasn't long before Moe picked up a desk and threw it at Susie. She managed to duck, and it instead smashed a table. She retaliated with her lunch box, but missed and hit the cabinet, which was knocked over, spilling its contents all over the floor. Candace picked up paper and threw it at everyone. Miss Wormwood swatted her pointer down on the desks, trying to make everyone stop and shut up. Mr. Spittle was yelling at the top of his lungs.

Calvin soon saw this could get dangerous, so he jumped off the desk and slipped on a green war helmet and drew his dart-gun, slipping out into the halls unnoticed, just as the flower pots were flung at him.

He soon saw that he wasn't alone. Several classrooms were throwing things and shouting.

"Something strange is going on here," he thought.

He picked up his backpack to use as a shield so that he could sneak out. Checking his distance, he ran towards the exit and made it safely.

"SPIFF ESCAPES!" he shouted. He ran down the road and hopped into the emergency box waiting for him. He started it up and flew off down the road for his house.

He pulled out a walkie-talkie and buzzed Hobbes, who was in the bedroom reading a comic book.

"Sharp Tooth, this is Boy Genius. Do you read?"

"Mostly I watch TV, but I do some comic book reading on the side, so—"

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, school's been getting a little off course, so I'll be home in the next few minutes."

"I'll be waiting. Over and out."

A few minutes later, Calvin landed the box outside the house and jumped out, running for the house.

"I'M HOME!" he shouted.

Hobbes pounced and blasted Calvin back into the box, and they both went tumbling around, changing the box into the Transmogrifier. There was a zap, and they both changed.

When they emerged, they were a llama and a kitten.

"Oh, this just isn't dignified," Hobbes muttered.

"Then what have we learned today?" Calvin asked.

"That box pouncing is a bad move?"

"Yes."

They both went inside and changed themselves back. Once they were back to normal, they entered the house.

Mom was surprised. "Calvin? What are you doing here? School's not out for another hour!"

"School was getting dangerous, so I got out before I got killed."

As you can imagine, Mom didn't believe a word of it. "I'm calling the school." She went to the phone.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Hobbes asked.

"No need. This time, I'm speaking nothing but facts."

"Hello? Elementary School Front Office? Yes, my son just came home early and I just want to know if—" There was a pause as Mom's jaw dropped. "What?"

Calvin grinned at Hobbes and winked.

"Merry Christmas to me," he sang silently.