I don't own Star Ocean, the Grinch, Christmas...or that 'Something
Wicked This Way Comes' song...meh either way...it's probaly a good
thing that I only own my current crud...otherwise everything would be a
mess...sorry for any and all character bashing, or any un-disclaimed
stuff in here...
Chapter 4: The Grinch That De-Gravitated Christmas…
"Cliff! Please! STOP THE SHIP!" Fayt screamed as he clung to the bridge's door frame for dear life.
"Oh no you don't Fayt! There's no way you're gonna make me give myself up to those morons!" Cliff screamed as he hunched further over a steering wheel which had appeared, shoved forcefully into the computer screen of the driver's seat.
"But Cliff! You're destroying Christmas! YOU'RE LIKE THE GRINCH, STAR WARS STYLE!" Fayt screamed as he tried to pull himself properly into the bridge.
But Cliff did not slow down…he would probably never slow…and it soon would be Fayt's turn, to go flying out the rubbish ejection system, like most of the others had previously gone through…
And to think…it all started with one innocent thing…
(Flash back of yesterday)
"Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve…how fun…" Albel hissed as he eyed everyone in the bridge.
"Yeah well…Cliff has seemed so prone and threatened after Woltar was taken hostage by Peppita…I haven't seen Picolotto in a while either…I think Cliff did something to him…I'm sorry guys, but we're gonna have to do it today and today only…" Maria sighed as she turned to look at everyone before her. It seemed that almost everyone who was initially on the ship was there…
"I'll go tell Cliff…" Fayt declared as he turned and exited the bridge, walking through the halls until he reached Cliff's room.
Fayt knocked on the door, being greeted with no reply, he banged on it forcefully instead.
"Hey cliff…you in there…?" Fayt called through the door. There was still no answer, "Well…if you are…we're gonna be doing our Christmas shopping soon okay…? Okay then…" Fayt yelled before he slowly walked away from the door and back to the bridge, a frown on his face as he did so.
And as Fayt walked away…he would never know…what Cliff was really doing……in that room…
"Now, you two will be together forever!" Cliff cackled as he duct taped Magistrate Lasselle to Queen Romeria. Both struggled against the tape, but they weren't strong enough to break free from its many layers. All they could do is lean as far away from each other as possible, while they were forced into each other's personal space.
"I bet you think you're out of the woods now don't you…?" Cliff giggled in an insane manner, it would appear that he'd gone completely mad, "But you're not! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU'RE NOOOOOOOOT!" spit flew from the Klausion's mouth at these words.
Lasselle and Romeria exchanged glances of fear as Cliff cackled, his fingers bent as he raised his arms towards the ceiling, his head thrown back in crazed hysterics.
"And do you know why…?" Cliff asked as he leaned in, up close and personal to the two scared looking officials. Lasselle and Romeria both shook their heads in unison.
"(snort)…because…(double snort) BECAUSE ALONG CAME MR. LASBARD! RAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHARRRRAHAHAHAH!" Cliff screamed as more spit flew out his mouth. Lasselle raised an eyebrow as Adray was forcefully pulled out the nearby closest. He was wearing the same kind of Cliff made tuxedo, that Lasselle was wearing, and was holding a bouquet of roses, which looked on the verge of death.
"Save me…" Adray whimpered as Cliff dragged him over to Lassmeria. Adray was soon being taped to the horrid mess which had become of Lasselle and Romeria.
"Now…I'm gonna go get some more people to couple up…and when I come back…you better be pregnant!" Cliff laughed as he shoved a finger into Lassalle's chest.
The door of Cliff's room soon slammed, and the only noise around, was the sound of the blonde's mad man cackles, echoing through the hallway, before they completely disappeared.
After that, they were left with an awkward silence. Occasionally some one would clear their throat, cough, or just start breathing too loudly, probably for a source of somewhat comfort, in the dark, silent, messy room.
"So ah…so who's gonna go first…?" Adray asked as Lasselle and Romeria looked at him as if he was an idiot.
Back out in the hallways, Cliff was walking around, paranoid marks under his eyes, and a large ear to ear grin on his tired looking face. It had been 5 days since Woltar had been taken away by Peppita. 5 days since Cliff had gone utterly mad. And 5 days since Lasselle and Romeria had been locked in his room, while Adray had been locked in Cliff's closest.
'Hehehehehehehehehe…they all think I've gone mad…but they're wrong…heheheheheehehehehheeheeeeehehehehe…they're so wrong it's funny!' Cliff laughed in his head as his eyes widened into an even more crazed look, 'They think I'm paranoid about everyone around me…think I can't handle the truth that they failed to conceal the truth that they're after me…oh…but don't worry man…coz I'm gonna get them so bad before they can kill me in my sleep…they'll regret the time that Fayt said I was paranoid that they were gonna kill me in my sleep…I'll prove them so wrong…by the end of the day they'll be eating their own underpants…'
Cliff stopped dead in his tracks at this thought. He began to laugh like a lunatic again as he clutched his sides and swayed around slightly.
"CHRISTMAS YOU WILL PREVAIL EASTER! BRAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Cliff screamed as he set off on a run through the Diplo. He barged through the door of the bridge screaming like a loony on drugs.
"Um…Cliff, are you okay…?" Mirage asked as she turned in her seat to look up at her friend.
Cliff just laughed like he did before, looking at Mirage in a way that made her shiver with discomfort.
"They're out to kill us…they've been following us for three days…I WANT MY DIGNITY BACK!" Cliff screamed as he ran over to Claire. He heaved her over his right shoulder and ran back out the room, while the poor girl kicked and screamed in his grasp.
"CLAIR!" Nel screamed as she flogged out the door after Cliff, who was still laughing like a mad scientist.
"NEL!" Fayt screamed as he ran after the red haired one, not wanting anyone on the ship to get into any grave danger, just because Cliff had become paranoid.
"CLIFF! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fayt screamed when he spotted Cliff down the hallway ahead of him. Cliff slowly turned his head to look at Fayt, the mad glint still in his eye.
"I'm warning you Fayt…Don't come any closer…I'll do it! I'LL DO IT!" Cliff angrily screamed as he threateningly jabbed his finger towards the eject button of the rubbish system.
"Cliff please…" Nel sulked from the floor, where she had collapsed for some reason. But Cliff would not listen, and insane laughs could be heard, as Clair flew out of the Diplo, and went crashing into a tour ship behind it.
Clair rebounded off the slowly pursuing the Diplo, tour ship, and went floating around in space, waving her arms around and screaming as she stared at Fayt and Nel through one of the windows.
"CLAIR!" Nel once again screamed as she clambered to her feet and stared out the window helplessly at her best friend, "Claaaaaaiiiiir…" Nel groaned as she fell to the floor, her nails scraping the glass of the window as her knees fell to the floor.
"CLIFF! WHAT ARE YOU---" Fayt screamed as he turned to see no Cliff, "Cliff…oh no…oh NO!" Fayt screamed as he dived for the newly re-arrived Cliff, who now held a terrified and squirming Roger S Huxley.
"ARRRRGGHHHH! Fayt! Please help!" Roger begged as Cliff tried to force him into the clear tube. Roger managed to buy some time, as he put his legs out to the sides of the tube's entrance and pushed his back out, so that Cliff had to put all his effort into securing him to his doom.
Fayt wrapped his smallish arms around Cliff's waist, and tried to pull him away from the tube. He failed miserably, as he was not strong enough, and tried to make Nel help him.
"NEL PLEASE! HE'S GONE MAD! I NEED HELP HERE!" Fayt screamed as he stared at Nel. Nel did not come to help though and continued to sulk all over the floor, in the manner of that, you'd think she was going out with the grey haired women or something.
"Grrr…oh well…desperate times call for desperate measures…and I need someone stronger…oh…here goes nothing…VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX!" Fayt screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping that the larger man would soon come to his rescue, "Now…we…wait…" Fayt panted as Roger continued to restrain against Cliff.
Meanwhile, in one of the many, other, hallways of the Diplo, Vox was wondering around happily, smiling at his current scenario. He stopped in his tracks when he heard someone screaming his name somewhere.
"Huh…? Oh no…I must've done bad…I GOTTA HIDE!" Vox pout-fully stated as he fled away to hide somewhere.
Back with the Cliff problem, Roger was now floating out in space, clutching onto to Clair's waist as they both drifted around, with sorry for faces.
"Cliff…please no…" Fayt groaned as Nel was pushed into the tube of death, "NOOOOOO!" Fayt screamed at the sight of Nel now floating outside as she clung onto Clair's head.
"You're turn…" Cliff hissed as he lunged at Fayt. Fayt screamed as he jumped back, landing on his butt, before he kicked out at Cliff, scoring a direct hit to his angry looking face.
"CLIFF MAD!" Cliff roared as he tore his shirt off, turning a green colour, much like that of the incredible hulk's. Fayt once again screamed like a child, before he began to run away from Cliff.
"Albel! Please help me…PLEASE!" Fayt screamed as he ran through the hallways of the Diplo. But Albel would not come because…
"Huh…?" Fayt said as he stopped next to a window, as Albel drifted right past it, glaring at Fayt along the way past, "When did that happen…?" Fayt asked himself as he approached the window, to see the rest of the crew floating outside.
The only people missing from the floating mess of people outside was Lasselle, Romeria, Adray, Cliff, Duke Vox, and of course, Fayt himself.
"Oh no…" Fayt whimpered as he fell to his knees. Sophia floated past, and waved at Fayt happily, it was as if she was blissfully unaware of her current position in the galaxy.
Fayt waved back, forcing on a smile, before he ran to the bridge, to try and bring everyone back on board. He entered the room with a gasp though, when he realized that Cliff had taken control of the Diplo.
"CLIFF!" Fayt screamed with shock, as he eyed the steering wheel, which had obviously been forced into the computer panel below Cliff's standing, hunched form. Sparks and smoke was loitering around the computer in front of Cliff.
"Hehehehehe…you're too late Fayt…this ship is my Initial D car now…" Cliff sniggered as he turned his head slightly to look behind him at Fayt, before he made the Diplo go faster than what it was capable of…
And so that was how it had happened, and now they were being pursued by Santa Clause, how only wanted to do his job, and deliver the presents to the citizens of the Diplo, during the night before Christmas. But no…Cliff would not stop…he would really not do anything for anyone right now, and he really hadn't helped at all since the start of chapter 0 of this story…
"Ho, ho, ho, PULL OVER FATTY!" Santa screamed, for some strange reason he was audible out in space…
"Cliff you better listen to him…he won't give you…good…presents!" Fayt yelled as he fell to the floor, his legs not being capable of holding himself up during the speed spree.
"SHUT UP MAN! YOU'RE SCARING ME!" Cliff screamed, there was a tinge of fear in his tone as he ran over to Fayt, picking him up and heaving him over his shoulder, as he ran out the bridge and towards the dreaded rubbish system.
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Fayt screamed as he was sucked through the vacuum like tube, "Dah…" Fayt sighed as he went flying towards Santa and his sleigh, not really knowing why he could hear himself in the middle of an airless space…let alone why he could breathe…let's just say Bijoux is defying the law of physics, and had declared that there really is oxygen in space (shows John Howard going on private holiday to outer space, believing this bogus information to be true, only to suffocate, and over all die on his way to the 'Levitating Jacuzzi'…)…
Fayt managed to grab the sleigh as he passed it and clung for dear life as they sped after the Diplo. Fayt looked back to see a long line of his friend's, all clinging to the sleigh or other's who were clinging to it instead, because there wasn't enough room for them to.
Fayt noted that there still was no Lasselle, Romeria, Vox or Adray…and obviously there was no Cliff out here.
"Okay…looks like someone's being a naughty boy this Christmas!" Santa hissed as he looked down at his digital wrist watch, realizing that it had been Christmas for a whole minute, "Rudolph! Laser beams!"
At Santa's command, a large red beam shot out of Rudolph's nose, and collided with the Diplo, making it shake slightly…now people I know you think that this wouldn't happen…but remember, this is the future…anything could happen…why, I could be Santa…(zooms out to show Bijoux dressed in Santa costume, beard and everything attached with the deal)…(Corad: Um…I don't think--) SHUT IT FATTY! Jjhfjhjcdbfeiikjf234n690wh (Corad: Um…) Oh right…sorry…(picks up beer gut and pulls it off the keyboard and puts it under the desk).
Moving on…Cliff was now speeding faster, trying to escape Santa Clause. He was, however, becoming distracted, as he could hear the singing of a quire boy somewhere elsewhere on the ship…it sounded like that 'something wicked this way comes' song…his first thought was that it was Lasselle…but he then decided that he wouldn't sink that low…Adray? No…he was much too stupid to sing this well…maybe Romeria…but she was female…not a little boy…that could only leave on other person…Cliff's conscience…
"DIE OLD MAN!" Cliff screamed as he punched himself in the head, the music didn't, however stop…he soon discovered himself, running out the door, putting the Diplo on auto pilot, as he went to find out the source of this noise.
And it was soon found…curled up in a little ball…singing quire songs like a little boy…no…it wasn't Roger…he was dead (Roger: HEY! AM NOT!)…no this was worse…much worse…
"You'll regret this oath!" Vox sang as he forcefully blew out the Diplo, like so many others before him.
"Finally…glad I got that off my chest…" Cliff sighed as he ran back to the bridge to control the ship again. Cliff soon entered the bridge and had just looked up, when he almost had a heart attack.
"WHAT THE!" Cliff screamed at the mere image of Vox's back, right up against the wind screen of the Diplo, "What are you doing old man!" Cliff yelled loud enough to get Vox's attention, Vox turned around, a surprised look on his face as he stopped moving his legs and arms in and out from his body.
Vox breathed on the window, making it fog up, before he wrote, 'snow angle' on the wind screen, though it was backwards in Cliff's view.
"Okay…" Cliff said as he raised an eyebrow at Vox, who smiled back, "So…can I join…?" Cliff asked. Vox nodded, giving thumbs up.
"ALRIGHT!" Cliff happily roared as he ran out the bridge and later appeared on the windscreen too, flailing about aimlessly, occasionally glancing over his shoulder to look at the creation which he thought was going somewhere…when it clearly wasn't…
Lasselle, Romeria and Adray soon came running into the bridge. They had broken out of the restraints, when Adray had realized that he was missing Christmas.
"Lasselle…you will fix this…" Romeria calmly stated as she gazed at her Magistrate with a bored expression.
"But…" Lasselle began but was cut short by Romeria.
"Now Lasselle…" Romeria hissed as she partially glared at Lasselle.
Now, seeing as though Lasselle is so scared of defying her majesty, he did his best at making the ship stop. He failed miserably, thus angering Adray, when he only managed to succeed in making the situation a whole lot worse.
"Can't you do anything right, Magistrate ass!" Adray boomed as he slammed his fist into one of the control panels, Lasselle glared at Adray, as the lights began to flicker slightly…what Adray had done wasn't good…or was it…?
"Huh…?" Lasselle muttered as he looked up at the ceiling with a puzzled expression, Adray too looked confused as the ship came to a abrupt stop. A loud thump could be heard at the other end of the Diplo, and Lasselle and Adray ran to the source of the previous sound immediately.
"Uh-oh…" Adray and Lasselle both said in unison at the sight of a 3D outline a reindeers head, and front legs in the metal. The reindeer form made growling like sounds, as it tried to bite down through the metal.
Lasselle and Adray jumped back slightly with fear, it was scary…but what happened next was even scarier, when a red laser beam came shooting though the wall, creating a large hole.
The two men screamed as they leapt out the way of a whole sleigh with people attached at the end, who were being scraped along the metallic floor as the rampaging version of Santa went past.
"CLIFF! YOU WILL PAY!" Santa's roars were heard as the sleigh disappeared from view. Lasselle and Adray looked at each other before they ran after the sleigh, spotting a path of destruction along the corridors of the ship, mostly made up of injured looking people sprawled down the different hallways Santa had passed through.
"Santa noo…" Fayt panted as he climbed to his feet, just as Lasselle and Adray were passing through the corridor he was half dead in. Fayt ran after the destruction that soon led to the bridge of the Diplo.
"Huh…?" Fayt asked himself as he spotted 3 forms, making an attempt of snow angles on the wind screen of the ship.
"Heh, nice one Vox!" Santa cheered as he looked to his left to see Vox, trying to grind himself further into the tough, cold glass.
"You too Nick!" Vox said as he gave thumbs up to Santa Clause, Santa smiled back as he gave thumbs up to Vox, then to Cliff, who gave it back.
"Okay…finally…I can faint…" Fayt sighed as he collapsed on the floor.
"Master Fayt…? Are you feeling okay…? Are you sleeping…?" Adray's voice drifted around Fayt's sore head, as he drifted into dark abyss.
"No you idiot…he's fainted…" Lassalle's voice then floated into his head, just as he lost all known consciousness.
About 4 hours later, Fayt had awoken to the sound of Adray's voice.
"But…he's just sleeping…"
"Yes…but he fainted…" Lasselle hissed back.
"So he's dead…?"
"No you idiot, he's…oh forget…10 tries used to be my lucky number…but not now…now it must be 100…" Lassalle's voice angrily stated before Fayt heard the sound of a door opening then closing.
Fayt groaned as he stirred into consciousness once again.
"Master Fayt…are you awakening…? You fainted…Lasselle was so worried…he thought you'd died…the idiot…" Fayt almost screamed at the sight of Adray's face right next to his, the minute he'd woken up.
Adray saw the look of terror in Fayt's eyes, so he decided to back off, and let the blue haired one sit up.
Fayt yawned as he climbed out of bed. He smiled up at Adray as he rose to his feet.
"Yeah I'm fine Adray…" Fayt stated as he walked towards the door out of the sick bay. Adray followed Fayt into the area in front of the bridge, where everyone was happily talking and opening presents that Santa had bought them.
"Hey Fayt!" Sophia cheered; she was clutching what appeared to be a teddy bear…nobody knew when the girl would actually grow out of these things.
"Hi Sophia…" Fayt waved as he sat down on the seat next to Sophia. Sophia waved back, a smile oh her face as Albel slowly approached them.
"This is for you…fool…" Albel spat as he handed Fayt a present from Santa.
"Thanks Albel…" Fayt smiled as he took the present from Albel, and watched as he slumped away, muttering perturbed things under his breathe.
Fayt opened the present and found a deflated basket ball.
"Alright! I've missed these things so bad…" Fayt gasped as he got up to go get something to inflate the ball with.
Fayt soon reappeared with the ball completely pumped up.
"Hey Fayty-boy! Throw it over here!" Adray called over to Fayt.
"Okay!" Fayt nodded as he threw the ball towards Adray. Adray missed catching the large spherical object, and it hit his chest, rebounding on his abs, before it flew across the room and hit Roger on the head, the spike on his helmet deflating the ball permanently…
"Ooops…" Adray mumbled as he stared at the 'ball' on Roger's head, though the Menodix didn't seem to notice that it was even there…
Fayt sighed sadly, before he slumped back over to Sophia, collapsing next to her with another sigh.
"Oh…I'm sorry about that Fayt…but at least we're all here together…I mean it's not like anyone were care about is out there in space still, floating around helplessly…right?" Sophia stated happily as she looked across at Fayt.
(Shows back where the Diplo was, numerous hours ago…)
"Hello…anyone…? I'm cold and scared…I'm hungry…hello!" Nel called out into the nothingness around her…
(Back on the Diplo)
"Yeah, I guess you're right Sophia…" Fayt smiled as he looked at his friend happily.
"Have I ever been wrong…?" Sophia asked in a mocking tone.
"No…" Fayt slightly laughed as he shook his head.
"And I never will be…" Sophia stated as he tried to look a whole lot more important than what she really was deep down inside.
Cliff had calmed down by now, and Santa was advancing on him with a jagged looking present, a stern look was on the bearded man's face.
"Now Cliff…you know you've been a naughty boy…don't you…" Santa said sternly, while Cliff nodded his head with part shame, "And you will be receiving coal…however…seeing as though you have managed to 'bribe' me once again…I have decided to make you a doll out of this coal…" Santa stated as he handed the present to Cliff. Cliff tore the wrapping away and discovered a Mr. T look alike in the paper, though it was all charcoaled black…
"Aww, thanks Santee!" Cliff happily said as he wrapped his arms around the flabby man in red.
And as it looked, upon the Diplo ship…this year had been quite a horror at Christmas time for our heroes…and bad guys…and old men who generally wouldn't go away…but in the end…I guess everyone had I happy Christmas…
(Sandal Churner)
"Aww! What kind of cheap present is this!" Peppita screamed as she threw a lump of coal to the ground, the coal hit the ground and chunks flew off it as it rolled across the floor.
"Prrrp…and she thinks she got a bad present…" Gonnella spat from a hallway just before the bridge of the Sandal Churner. Ursus looked at his clownish friend as he (Gonnella) held Picolotto high in the air by the back of his shirt…
The End…?
Bijoux: So what ever did happen to Woltar...? (shows him on some alian filled planet, being surrounded by creatures who look like they wanna be his enemy)
Vox: I don't know and I don't care...society became tiresome and old with that guy around...
Bijoux: Wow Vox...that was beautiful...(wipes tear out of eye)...
Vox: Really...? I was just reading it off this candy bar wrapper...
Bijoux:...(crikets in background)...okay...please review...merry Christmas to you all as well...apart from you Vox...you're just strange...