IT WAS PLAY NIGHT!
Pageant night; whatever.
It was time for Calvin to win over the heats of millions (or tens) and save his gifts!
When they got to the town square, there were chairs everywhere in the middle of town, and a giant stage had been set up. Calvin and Hobbes went to the backstage part of the stage (backstage, I think they call it).
Calvin peeked out into the crowd nervously. He was wearing his Bob Cratchet costume, and he was waiting anxiously for the play to start.
Hobbes was standing next to him reading a magazine.
"What do I do if I mess up?" Calvin asked.
"Who cares?"
"I do! If I screw this up, there won't be any gifts for us on Christmas!"
"Do you have the notepad with your speech on it?"
Calvin pulled the yellow piece of paper.
"Got it right here. Now go sit in the audience."
Hobbes nodded and returned to the crowd, sitting in an empty chair next to Mom and Dad. He was surprised to find a familiar brown-haired boy and his hamster sitting nearby.
"Andy? Sherman?" he asked. "What are you two doing here?"
"My parents made me come," said Andy.
"And Andy made me come," Sherman snarled. "And I only agreed so I could see Calvin fall flat on his face on stage."
"Actually Calvin is trying to make everyone see the true spirit of Christmas," Hobbes replied.
"HA! What a lark!" scoffed Sherman. "Calvin is so selfish. He's probably going to read his Christmas list off in front of everybody."
Hobbes grabbed Sherman from Andy's shoulder. He took a deep breath and blew into his face. A horrible stench emitted from Hobbes' mouth, and Sherman gagged.
"Okay! I give! I give!" he squeaked.
Hobbes shrugged and placed the hamster back on Andy's shoulder.
"Thank you, tuna breathe," Hobbes muttered.
Andy looked around the crowds of people. The odd thing was that they weren't as grouchy as they had been just days ago. In fact, they all looked happy. No one was insulting the other. They weren't punching or yelling. Snowballs weren't being thrown. Even Moe seemed like he was festive in his elf costume!
"Hobbes?" he asked.
"Yes?"
"You said Calvin was trying to get everyone to get into the Christmas spirit, right?"
"I believe I did, yes."
"What for? Everyone seems rather cheerful."
"Huh?"
"Look!"
Hobbes looked around. Even though no one was looking at him, he saw nothing but smiles and heard nothing but laughter.
"Strange," he commented. He then remembered the baking accident, and he remembered that little speech Calvin had given, and how everyone had been rather speechless by his strange act of maturity. Maybe that single act of adulthood had caused everyone to see the error of their ways already!
"Uh-oh," Hobbes moaned, glancing nervously at the stage. The curtain was pulling up.
"Oh boy," Sherman chuckled lightly, munching on popcorn.
Calvin was sitting at the work desk writing with a feather.
Suddenly, the door on the fake wall opened, and out came a hand, which tossed powder and sugar into the air to create the allusion that snow was blowing.
Following the hand was a kid with buck teeth dressed up as Ebenezer Scrooge.
"Good morning, Mr. Scrooge," said Calvin in a fake-Britt.
"Bah Humb—" said the kid, who suddenly froze.
BOOM!
Calvin looked up.
The buck-toothed kid had frozen.
"Talk about stage fright," he commented.
Then he noticed that everyone in the crowd had stopped moving!
He then felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Hobbes, Andy and Sherman!
"What are you idiots doing up here?" he demanded.
"Pausing time, what else?" asked Andy, as if it were obvious.
"Calvin, we're aborting the mission," Hobbes said. "Everyone is already feeling the Christmas spirit! We don't need to do the pageant!"
Calvin's eyes turned dark. "What did you just say?" he snarled. "You mean that I went to all that trouble of thinking for nothing!"
"Apparently so," said Sherman. "Funny, isn't it?"
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Calvin demanded. "I can't just leave! They're expecting me to perform, and I don't think I can cheat my way out of this one. Plus, Santa's watching!"
"Well, there's always you're chance to become a Busby Berkley Dancer," said Sherman, continuing to mock.
Calvin's head shot up to glare at the smart-aleck hamster, but then he said, "Sherman, you're a genius!"
"He is?" asked Hobbes and Andy together.
"About time you came to your senses," said Sherman smugly.
"Sherman, hold the ego for just a few minutes. We have stuff to get, and thanks to the Time Pauser, we now have that."
"What do you mean?"
Calvin quickly explained the plan. "Andy, we're going to need your DVD Player and 3rd Rock From the Sun, Season 2, Disc Four, Title Seven, and Chapter 2."
Andy nodded.
"Sherman, we're going to need five miles of extension cord from your house the stage."
Sherman snorted but agreed.
"Hobbes, you and I are gonna run back to my place to get special clothes and props. I'm gonna dance my way to success."
Hobbes grinned. This was a good plan.
Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman worked as hard as they could prepare. They had all the time in the world with time paused, so they could resume whenever.
Soon, Calvin and Hobbes had completely redecorated the stage from miserable accounting office to weird-looking city.
Andy put the disc in the Sony DVD Player, and Sherman hooked it all up with the proper cables. Calvin told them to Fast-Forward to a certain part in the show. Then Hobbes decked him up in an orange suit with a yellow shirt underneath and a gray bowler hat.
Hobbes then pulled the curtains closed.
Calvin gave Hobbes the thumbs-up to unpause time.
Hobbes took the Time Pauser and hit the red button on top.
They heard gasps from outside.
"Let's hope this works," Hobbes said.
Everyone was questioning what was happening when suddenly, Andy was shoved out in front of everyone.
"Attention, ladies and gentlemen," said Andy. "Due to circumstances beyond our control, we've got to cancel this year's play / pageant."
Everyone groaned.
Andy held up his hands to silence everyone.
"Instead, we've got our very own Calvin performing a Busby Berkley Song Routine from the hit show 3rd Rock From the Sun, sung by French Stewart; Life Has Been Good to Me. So please enjoy it, because we spent a long time on this."
Everyone shrugged and clapped.
Andy walked offstage.
Sherman turned on a spotlight.
Hobbes crossed his fingers.
Music started to play in the form of a piano and trumpets.
Calvin tap danced out in front of everybody and tipped his hat, and he lip-synched the whole song.
Life has been good to me.
I got very few complaints so far.
Life has been good to me.
Hope you're as happy wherever you are!
I got the blue sky every morning.
A big yellow moon at night.
I always do whatever I want to.
And everything I do; it always turns out right!
Calvin broke into a tap dance number.
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Hey, Hey!
Calvin then started to walk around the fake city.
Life has been good to me.
Man, I wouldn't change a thing.
Life has been good to me.
Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.
Hobbes started pulling on a rope and a cardboard rain cloud came out. Andy had attached a hose to it and he turned it on.
Calvin pulled out an umbrella and continued.
In every life, a little rain must surely fall.
I'm here to say that there's a rainbow just around every corner.
The cloud went away and Calvin tossed the umbrella behind himself.
The scene behind him moved and changed to underwater scenery.
Hobbes, Andy and Sherman blew bubbles everywhere.
Life has been good to me.
Well, I'll admit I've had a ball.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Life has been good to me.
I never worry 'bout nothin' at all!
Then everything changed again, and a fake piano with a fake Randy Newman appeared, and Calvin leaned against it.
I got some good friends.
They adore me.
And know how to treat me right.
I got a good gal waiting for me.
I won every fight I've been in.
And it always turns out that I was right.
Ah!
Then the fake props disappeared and out came the city again. Calvin started dancing all over the place.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Life has been good to me.
Life has been good to me.
When the song ended, everyone applauded. It got a standing ovation.
Hobbes, Andy and Sherman clapped and whistled.
Calvin grinned proudly. He'd done it. He'd saved Christmas and finished what he'd started.
"You did good, Cal, you did good," said Hobbes.
"Thanks pal, and now there's only one thing left to do."
"What's that?" asked Sherman.