Yep. Chapter two already! It ties so much with chapter 1 so I thought of releasing them together. Get ready, it'll be a character explosion!
Chapter 2: The Call of the Idiots
Once upon a time, before there were kingdoms of owls, in a time of ever-raging wars, an owl was born to the country of the Great North Waters and his name was Hoole.
Oops, sorry, right now I'm Guardians of Ga'Hoole-ified. Onto the rest of the chapter…
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And so Tristan propped up his phone book and looked for his very few friends- his crush, Serenity, Duke- the guy who put Joey in a dog suit, Yugi's Grandpa- who was the grandpa… of Yugi, and Rebecca Hopkins- who forced everyone who knew Yugi to call her and tell her all about Yugi.
For no reason, he called Duke first. There was the longest ring- and then…
"Hello?" asked Duke.
"Hey, it's Tristan."
"Wait, who are you again?"
"The fourth dude in the friendship circle," he growled. "Hey, Duke, are you tired of being an insignificant Yu-Gi-Oh character?"
"You bet! No one ever calls me!"
"Ah ha, well so am I," Tristan agreed. Perfect, he thought. "I was planning on calling a few others, so we could have revenge!"
"OHMYGOSHAREYOUCALLINGSERENIITYTOO?" Duke suddenly screamed.
"I'll- grr- tell- grr- her- grr- you- double grr e- said- grr- hi- GRR," Tristan growled. "I'm also calling Yugi's Grandpa and Rebecca."
"Oh, Glaux no," our dice spinning insane dude groaned. "NOT Rebecca. Anything but her."
"Why?"
"Remember when Yugi invited all of us and her for some tea while watching a Duel Monster tournament? And how I volunteered to host it?"
"Ummm…" Tristan recalled it. Wallpaper strewn on the ground. Holes through the roof. Live penguins with "LOVE YUGI 4EVER" painted all over them. Pain. Torture. Terror. Insanity.
"I'm still paying for the Pancake tortoises- those were the worst."
"But we need all the insanity we can possibly get," Tristan explained. "If we're going to take down Kaiba."
"Fine," Duke moaned. "But I want a lifetime supply of grenades before I go near that freak."
"Wish granted." And the tooth fairy came and planted a never ending supply of pineapple grenades on Duke's head. "You're next Serenity!" Tristan yelled with hearts in his eyes.
Suddenly, Tristan's long lost, yet sometimes mentioned in the Japanese version, brother popped in. "When are you going to pay me back for your trip to Egypt?"
"Why don't we discuss this later?"
"Baka. Fine. But it'll be your head next." And out he went.
"Ooookay. TIME FOR SERENITY!" He called Serenity (which happened to be on memory).
"Hello?"
"HI SERENITY! HOW ARE YOU DOING?" Tristan yelled.
"Oh, not again," Serenity groaned. "I'm doing fine Tristan."
"GREAT! I'm not though."
"Why?"
"I'm tired of being an unimportant, non-dueling Yu-Gi-Oh character! Are you?"
"You bet I am," she said as a dark, dark hidden side of Serenity popped up. "I can't stand that Yugi. He just prances around going 'I'M GAME KING 4 EVER!' and my poor brother spends more time with you guys than with me! SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO GO AND R-"
"Serenity," Tristan interrupted. "My you're-going-to-raise-the-fanfic-rating sense just exploded. Keep it PG."
"Sorry," she said in her usual sweet tone.
"So, want to help? Duke's joined."
"Duke, huh… Then I guess I'll join your mad and corrupted ways in a pursuit of evil and glory."
"OKAY! SEE YA SERENITY!" Two down, two to go. Next victim- was Yugi's Grandpa. And so Tristan called him.
"Hello? This is Yugi's Grandpa, and his mother's dad."
"Hi," greeted Tristan. "Hey do you feel unappreciated?"
"OF COURSE I DO!" the old coot screamed without warning. "It's always about the youngsters! Why can't I be the focal point? Who sweeps the shop and earns money kind of sorta! In fact, it makes me cry!" And the grown man burst into tears.
"Good, would you like to join me and co on a journey to right these wrongs in an utmost insane and random fashion?" Tristan asked.
"You bet. Hey, you sound a bit insane today…" And a phone going BEEP BEEP BEEP was his only reply.
Now just Rebecca. And our insane little focal point called her the long distance way.
"YUGI!" Rebecca yelled.
"I'm Tristan."
"HOW'S MY YUGI?"
"Fine, but Rebecca, can I ask you something?"
"As long as I can say YUGI, you bet you can."
"What if Yugi stopped dueling for a while? You know, then he'd have more time to travel and see intercontinental friends…"
"YUGI! YUGI! YUGI! YUGI- THAT'D BE- BE" and she passed out for an X amount of seconds.
"Want to join an alliance designed to rise up and claim what is ours? Let's go!"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME AND MY YUGI? OF COURSE I'LL JOIN AND VISIT BY STAYING AT YUGI'S! GOTTA GO SEE MY YUGI!" And in ten seconds flat, driven by hormones and who knows what, Rebecca was at Yugi's door.
"Muhahahahahahaha," Tristan chuckled. "It's all in place. My EVIL plan will be drawn out. And it all starts with my Air Conditioner of doom and Kaiba…" And in the typical evil way, Tristan did all that MUHAHAHAHAHAHAA jazz.
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You go Tristan! But I really wasn't kidding about the Tristan's brother thing. In Episode 200, Tristan admits he "borrowed" money from his brother to go to Egypt. How I know this? Shifty eyes Have five bucks and stay silent. And at the very end of Yugioh DM (all good things must come to an end), when Yugi and co get off the plane, Rebecca appears out of nowhere and tackles Yugi in a tight hug (NEVER underestimate hormones), and when Serenity walks over to Joey, Duke and Tristan run up before her big brother, and only grabbing them by their coats can he keep them from his sister.
Will we find out what an Air Conditioner (AC) of Doom will spells for Yugi and the populars? Does Tristan really know how to get rid of Kaiba? Will I stop asking Stupid Annoying Questions (SAQ)? Find out in the next chapter of TNTWI (the Night Tristan Went Insane)!