I return!
EVIL BAD LUCK SHALL OCCUR! MUHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, I'm wretchedly bored and barely half awake, so onto the reviews:
SilverChaosMageChione- Yeah, Tristan's not too main to be the main character lol. You're not the only one who thought Amelda looked like a girl. I mean the Japanese namne sounds a fat bit like girl's name, and I assumed that there were typoes at every sight with he instead of she. As for what Kaiba's secret weapon is... I'm going to play with your mind until Seto reveals it himself...
Atem's Queen- Hammy! I love hamsters! I hope it lives a long and happy life! And I hope your brother is nice to animals! Hey I'm updating! Whee!
The Mad Writer- Hmm, chocolate covers drugs/ caffeine/ sugar, and I overdose that forever... Sleep? What's sleep? -Kamikazis into 4Kids headquarters for absolutely no reason!-
Hurrah! GO TRISTAN!
Chapter 13: The Evil Chapter of Bad Luck
Tristan picked up a certainly unhealthy, and definitely not recommended by four out of five surveyed dentists amount of pie, shoving it in inhumanly. He was pretty much the only person eating pie after about an hour; Tea was making dying noises from the AC of Doom. Pie does that to you. Of course, no one paid attention to the chapter number. That's right- 13. TIME FOR THE EVIL CHAPTER OF BAD LUCK!
MEANHILE, WITH OUR SANE AND SLOWLY BECOMING LESS SANE AND MORE FOCUSED ON WORLD DOMINATING CHARACTERS---
"You know Serenity, I think that character development really did me good," Bakura said.
"Ughh," Serenity said like a mindless drone, staring blankly at the computer screen as she racked up some major points in Pong. For you non-comatose people, that literally translates to: Dearest Ryo, I am proud in you accomplishments. Yes, together is a harsh, perhaps dangerous future, but I intend to make it all the way through. Together we will crawl from this nightmare. Blah, blah, INSERT TRAGEDY AND TEEN ANGST HERE.
"Yep, yep, yep ughhh!" Ryo said happily. "I wonder what luck we'll have next."
"Ughh," Serenity answered which translates to: How many times must I tell you? You've cursed it.
Although he didn't need to, because the chapter number is all bolded and underlined and such. That's when an 'Infer' appeared from around the corner.
"Whoa- is that an Infer?" asked Ryo, pointing to it. Serenity looked.
"Yes, it is! Let's use the random Pokedex to look it up!" She flipped out a Pokedex, and looked up 'Infer.'
"Infer, the weird fanfic Pokemon," the Dexter said. "Infer is a phone number rarely seen in the wild. It is known to cause bad luck and plot drawbacks."
The infer looked up at them with its sweet 3 and 0. "Let's catch it," Ryo said, pulling out a Pokeball and sending out Lamp- the lamp Pokemon! In fact it looked a lot like a lamp. Because it is a lamp!
"Lamp, use your nothing attack!" Ryo commanded. Lamp just sat there. "Good! Now use take up space attack!" It just sat there. "Keep it up Lamp!" Yes, Lamp was being perfect in his strategy- doing nothing.
Infer drew closer, its 6 and 8s ready to make this chapter specialified. Before Lamp could move at all (which won't be for a while anyway), Infer attacked, bringing Ryo and Serenity to the source of the phone number. Which for no reason is Yugi's.
BACK WITH YUGI, TRISTAN, A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE AND CO. ---
"You know, I think we'll get distracted from the plot today," Tristan said. Suddenly, Serenity and Ryo tumbled into the room.
"Hi," Ryo said, as Serenity cried because she couldn't play Pong anymore. A black cat swept by.
"Hey! A kitty!" Tristan ran after the black cat to another twelve black cats (thirteen black cats total), stepped on 13 cracks, running under 13 ladders and knocking down 13 salt shakers in the process. Oops.
"I wonder if we should be afraid," Yugi thought.
"Only if you're superstitious," Tea said from the AC of Doom.
"Oh, dear, we're all going to die then," said Leaf, who was rubbing her lucky synthetic rabbit foot. I mean, she's a hamster. Carrying a real rabbit foot would be difficult.
Suddenly, they were all swept away on their feet deep into a fanatical world, of princesses, dragons and telekinetic pencils. They had entered the depths of my very crooked mind.
Side Note: I am not superstitious. Why? My friend had a black cat, who was a very good kitty I loved a lot; I spill salt whenever I reach for it; I step under and over ladders all the time; I live on the 13th floor, after leaving America on June 13th. Before then, my rodent rescue group had rescued 13 baby hamsters, I was in room 130 (13 with a 0) at a hotel, I started art school on July 13th, and I'm 13 right now; plus a gazillion other 13 related incidents and properties. And I've somehow lived to tell the tale…
A random butterfly on fire zoomed by. In the distance was a poster of Ed Phoenix, and millions of turtles were just grazing around in their awesomely cute way. Yugi, Rebecca, YG and the AC of Doom were gone; Only Leaf, Tristan, Serenity and Ryo were in this paradise. Actually, they're in the castle.
"Who said that?" asked Tristan as a random raven through cupcakes at him.
I did.
"I think it's the narrator and creator, speaking to us," Leaf thought aloud.
That is correct. If you want to see your friends, to the castle you must go…
"Will I ever get married?" asked Tristan.
What in the frinking name of nonexistent British Elk is that about?
"I dunno. But will I?"
Sigh. Not in this mind. Why don't you get stuck in a shipper's mind instead?
"Can I?"
No.
"Why not?"
Dude, it's for your own good. Trust me on this.
"Trust? What's that?"
"C'mon guys, we have to get to the castle," Ryo said. "Then I can somehow get us out of here!" Ryo pulled Tristan away from a particularly pointy piece of grass as the foursome trekked to the castle. But I was feeling generous, so I swept them up to the castle entrance.
In front of them was a Sphinx. "To pass through, a riddle you must complete," said the Sphinx, filing those sharp claws. Tristan threw a tomato at her. She fainted.
"Well, that works too!" Tristan said and they passed over into the castle to the next guard.
The next guard was a pretty penguin. "To pass through me, you must answer this incredibly hard question," he began. But Tristan hit him with another tomato. And he fainted.
"This is getting cheaper by the minute," Leaf murmured.
And they came to the final guard, which protected the room where Yugi and the rest were. It was a turtle.
"To pass me, you must answer a multiple choice question," she said, prestige flickering in her eyes. Tristan threw a tomato at her. And she had enough sense to duck.
"I'm all out of tomatoes," Tristan said, starting to cry.
"You, Tristan, will answer my question." She gave him the 'Who wants to Be a Millionaire Final Round, lose it and you're out of this game and get like 500,000 dollars instead of a million you loser' look. "Mine is on volleyball. Question: How do you do the spike? A.) Face the ball and go in a right, left, right, left jump pattern and use a two footed takeoff, contacting the ball with a downward thrust. B.) Swing arms to break ceiling tiles. C.) Turn away from the ball so that it hits the back of your head to hit the ceiling, while flailing your arms and doing the chicken dance before 'Raising the roof' for the other team's scored point. So which will you choose?"
"What's volleyball?" asked Tristan. There was a long sigh from everyone else.
"Listen, I'm a frinking hamster and even I've played volleyball," Leaf said.
"Does that mean it's an album from Britney Spears?" asked Trsitan.
"Just answer the question," the turtle said in her highly refined way.
"Hmm, I'm leaning towards C on this one…" Tristan said as he tried to think through the insanity in his brain.
"Great Glaux, what did I do to have to baby-sit a fool like this?" Leaf muttered, half to herself, half to Glaux and half to everyone else. Which means she muttered half more than usual!
"I say A!" Tristan decided. Everyone perked up. He got it right?
"Is that your final answer?" asked the turtle.
"No way! My final answer is C!" Everyone sweat dropped, then anime fell.
"You're lucky I'm feeling generous today," the turtle grumbled. "Well, actually you're not lucky because this is the chapter of bad luck… So you're bad lucky."
"Huh?" asked Tristan.
"Please, just go," the turtle said, rearranging her thoughts and rubbing her head from a sinus headache. As they left, no one seemed to realize that was just me in turtle form…
They opened the door.
Yugi sat in his throne, dressed as a pretty princess. He was watching prince AC of Doom battle the evil dragon Rebecca. Meanwhile YG was eating sausage. Lots of sausage.
"Uhh," Tristan said to Yugi. "We got to go soon."
"I wonder why the authoress made me a pretty princess," Yugi thought aloud. Are you sure you want to know?
"Yeah," answered the AC of Doom who had blocked another blast of fire. Duke was sleeping inside and Tea was making up new shippings (Immortalshipping- ObeliskxRa, Snakeshipping- that one snake that attacked Mahado in that one episodexMahado at least it explains its motives).
My mind is a dark labrynth. I take real things and twist them until they break. I hide the pieces under the old carpet and scream twice. Then these fragments that gather up tend to group and soon they become this weird junk in my mind.
"Uh, can we go back now?" asked Tristan.
Not until you dance to the instrumental karaoke version of Overlap by Kimeru.
The music started, and the square dancing began.
After that, they were all swept on their feet again, back to unreal reality. Ryo and Serenity were at Raphael's door. "We need to figure out how many ducks Marik has," Serenity remembered. They pranced right in where Raphael was doing the impossible, the unthinkable.
He was licking his elbow.
"So, how many ducks does Marik have?" Serenity asked immediately.
"What's it to ya?" he asked, his elbow still in place as he did the physically impossible.
"I'll give you Nigeria- Land of refusing twice to accept going to a party- when I succeed in world domination," she answered.
"He has none," Raphael said. "He allergic to living creatures."
"Huh?" asked Ryo.
"He takes medicine for his allergies though," Raphael continued.
"Oh," said Serenity.
"THAT HAS ANGERED THE GUARDAIN TYPE MONSTER TYPE THINGYS THAT I'M SO OBSESSED WITH!" Raphael yelled, getting shocked by some lightning. Where have we seen this before?
"Well, bye," Ryo and Serenity said, walking off to Joey's room.
"THAT ANGERED THE GUARDIAN TYPE MONSTER TYPE THINGYS AGAIN!" Raphael screamed, getting frizzled like another Doom character.
BACK AT THE 4KIDS HEADQUARTERS---
"It was hard, but I managed to get us some tickets to Japan, wounding ten old ladies and forty three animes in the process," Slifer reported to Kahn.
"Excellent. Let's leave immediately." So they left. Immediately.
Then the dwarf hamster came in, its ears and whiskers twitching. "This place needs new curtains," he said aloud as he got up on those cute fuzzy hind feet and looked around. He ran over to a bunch of controls. "What's this?" he wondered, picking up a tape that read 'Episode 200 of Yu-Gi-Oh! Dubbed and appropriately slaughtered.' He threw it aside, picking up one that read 'Episode 200 of Yuugiou! Duel Mosters Subtitled- DO NOT AIR!' So he put it in the VCR that connected to Kids WB that told the wonderful truth and themes to everyone in the world. And everyone was satisfied for once.
Then the dwarf hammy ran over to the tank of anime destruction, where a dead Kisara, normal Naruto and alcoholic Brock all coexisted. He smiled, picking the lock. He was gonna have some fun tonight.
I'm tired. Good night...