Quick Note: In case anyone was wondering, Fuji drank the juice on Friday, and now it's Saturday night. Please also note that this chapter and the one that follows it are ridiculous and has no contributions to the plotline whatsoever other than sick humor. At least that's my opinion. (Walks to the corner and sulks because she wrote this and is complaining about it.)
Chapter Six: Confusion Over Relationships
"Hey, Yuuta."
"What?"
"Do you know her?"
"Who?"
"Her."
"Who's her?"
"That girl over there."
Tired of making Yuuta guess, Mizuki pointed towards Fuji who was looking at them with interest, and even gave them a small wave as a sign of acknowledgment. Yuuta frowned and shook his head.
"Never seen her before," he replied before facing Mizuki again, only to find his opponent missing. Turning back to face the girl, Yuuta gave an annoyed sigh as he saw the team manager smoothly making his way towards the brunette.
"Yuuta da ne! Is Mizuki hitting on your cousin or something da ne? That's no fair da ne! You should've told me you had such a pretty cousin da ne! I would've liked to date her da ne!" Yanagisawa said proudly as Yuuta and Atsushi (who was also there because Mizuki wanted to play doubles later) rolled their eyes.
"She's not my cousin," Yuuta stated. "And I don't know who she is."
"She looks a lot like your brother," Atsushi pointed out as Yuuta glanced at the girl again. Atsushi was right, she did look a lot like his older brother. Maybe a little too much. The hair, the eyes, the smile… they were all the same. Especially the smile.
"Hey, do you think it's actually Fuji Syuuuke in a girl's uniform da ne?" Yanagisawa wondered. (Let's say Fuji borrowed Tezuka's mother's clothes yesterday, changed into a uniform today, and will go clothe shopping in the near future, just to clear up the clothe issue.)
"My brother wouldn't go that far," Yuuta said as he saw Mizuki grinning and leading the innocent (not really) girl their way. The closer they got, the more the girl seem to remind Yuuta of his older brother still. He wouldn't, right?
"Yuuta!" The girl perked up as she saw him. "I never knew you were friends with a purple lizard, an ugly duckling, and a little red riding ribbon boy!"
Yuuta blinked in surprise as the girl hopped over to where he was and snaked her arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug. Obviously, he wasn't the only one that was surprised as his teammates stared on with shock.
"Yuuta! You haven't told me how much you love me yet!" Fuji smirked. Toying with Yuuta had always been one of her favorite pastimes as a he.
"Who are you?" Yuuta managed to say Fuji finally let go.
"Yuuta doesn't remember me…" Fuji said sadly. "Yuuta doesn't love me…"
"Yuuta, is she your girlfriend?" Mizuki asked.
"She's pretty da ne. How can you forget her da ne?" Yanagisawa gasped. "If you're not dating Yuuta da ne, would you go out with me da ne?" (Fuji: Eh… no.)
"I knew the ribbon was stupid…" Atsushi muttered.
After a few more questions and discussion about whether if the girl was Yuuta's girlfriend or relative or not, Fuji decided it was time to insert another sparker. After all, why not? The situation was certainly proving to be a humorous one.
"I'm not Yuuta girlfriend, I'm not Yuuta's cousin, and I'm definitely not Yuuta fiancée," Fuji began. Where thy got that thought was beyond even her comprehension.
"Then who are you?" the four St. Rudolph boys chorused. It was meaningless to be conversing with a random girl that none of them knew. They would rather play tennis. (Except probably Mizuki who kept staring at Fuji, much to her dismay and disgust.)
"I'm Yuuta's cute and adorable niece, Fuji Suzume. Everyone calls me Fujiko-chan though," Fuji smiled. That was definitely the bombshell to them.
"…Niece!" Yanagisawa choked.
"You have a niece… awesome, way to go," Atsushi said, not really caring much, though it did surprise him quite a bit.
"Niece! That would mean… she would be… Yuuta, your brother would've…" Mizuki stuttered.
"I… have… a… niece…" Yuuta repeated to himself. Then it hit him like a car going at a hundred plus miles per hour. "Wait! That would mean my brother… my brother… he would've had to… that would make me…" Like Mizuki, Yuuta couldn't exactly sort out all of the information.
"That's right, it would make you my Uncle Yuuta!" Fuji smiled evilly. Think of thunder and lighting once again, only this time add some black clouds and a scene of utter destruction behind Fuji. Yeah, that's about right.
Silence…
More silence…
Even more silence…
Then…
"Hey! Echizen! Look! It's Tezuka's cousin!" Everyone snapped out of shock as Fuji silently swore. She had totally forgot the way lame excuse Tezuka had made at practice, and it was just her luck that Momoshiro and Ryoma decided to come here again tonight. Oh well, this just makes things a lot more interesting, right? Fuji cringed. How was she going to get out of this one now?
"Did that oaf just say you're Tezuka's cousin?" Mizuki blinked. "But then…"
"…This is confusing da ne!" Yanagisawa admitted. "My head hurts da ne… I see stars again da ne! Help me da ne!" No one paid any attention naturally.
"I'm going home," Atsushi sighed as he tried to get away, but only ended up being restrained by Mizuki and Yanagisawa.
"…Wait, what?" Yuuta said, completely scattered. "This is- what is- how…"
By now, Momoshiro and Echizen had finished their game and jogged over to where Fuji and the St. Rudolph boys were. Fuji only grimaced at the situation she was faced with.
"Hey! Fujiko-chan!" Momoshiro called as he and Ryoma came up to him. "What are you doing with them?"
"Why aren't you at your cousin Tezuka's house?" Ryoma added, still bitter that he had lost.
"Okay, okay," Mizuki said as he sorted everything out. "This isn't possible because if you're Yuuta's niece and Tezuka's cousin, then-"
"You're Fuji-sempai's younger brother's cousin!" Momoshiro and Ryoma gasped. (only Ryoma used 'the guy I beat' instead)
"It's Yuuta!" Yuuta growled. "Not Fuji's younger brother! And definitely not the guy you beat!" No one, of course, paid any attention to him either.
"Um…" Fuji laughed nervously. How am I getting out of this!
"I've got it da ne!" Yanagisawa exclaimed, snapping his fingers as the light bulb went off.
"I highly doubt it," Atsushi sighed.
"It's simple, da ne! See, Yuuta's older sister secretly had an affair with someone and gave birth to Tezuka Kunimitsu da ne! Then Fuji Syusuke had a daughter around the same time, namely Fujiko-chan here da ne! See da ne? That would make the two cousins da ne! And Fuji Yumiko Tezuka's mother and Fuji Syusuke Fujiko-chan's dad da ne! And that would make Yuuta an uncle to Fujiko-chan and Tezuka da ne! Isn't it simple da ne?" Everyone just looked at Yanagisawa like he was an idiot, except Fuji, who was trying to prevent herself from cracking up.
"…That makes no sense whatsoever, at all," Atsushi pointed out, breaking the silence spell that had dawned on the group a couple of seconds before.
"I know! Because there's no way Yumiko could've hid her pregnancy because she was never pregnant!" Yuuta nodded calmly, despite his inner self was in total chaos and was spazzing out.
"And if that were the case, then Fuji-sempai would have had done that around the time he was one or two," Ryoma put in.
"Are you sure you're Yuuta's niece?" Mizuki asked suspiciously as everyone turned to Fuji for an answer.
"Well… It's complicated…" Fuji shrugged. Watching the confused and flabbergasted looks on their faces was priceless.
"Hey! Wouldn't that mean you're Tezuka-buchou's daughter?" Momoshiro gasped suddenly, having not heard any of the reason the others stated before him.
"No… Tezuka-buchou's Fujiko's cousin, and Fujiko's mother is Fuji-sempai's wife, so that would make Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-sempai… somehow related…" Ryoma tried to explain. But as you could see, he was having trouble just like Yanagisawa. "Besides, I think Tezuka-buchou's intelligent enough not to do such stupid things such as having a kid at his age." And just for good riddance, Ryoma added, "Mada mada dane…"
"Hey, you," Atsushi suddenly voiced himself. "Can you explain this?"
"Well, you guys pretty much got the whole picture, so what's there to explain?" Fuji said simply as the two watched the scene play itself out until Mizuki shushed all of them by telling them all to shut up. It was quite funny so to speak. At least to Fuji who was recording the whole conversation on a recorder she hid behind her back.
Truly pointless, this was, unless you could count in more blackmail material for Fuji…
Fuji had decided to escape the scene with Atsushi, who was tired of doing absolutely nothing but watch people confuse themselves more than they needed to, and now the two were seated in a train, glancing at the passing landscape.
"So, are you really related to Yuuta?" Atsushi brought up.
"That's right," Fuji answered.
"I…see…" Atsushi answered. "And are you really Tezuka's cousin?" he questioned. Fuji thought over this for a few moments. If she said 'yes', then that would make it al the more confusing. If she said 'no', then she would equally make it all the more confusing.
"Why don't you figure that out for yourself?" Fuji suggested. Perfect answer. It was neither a yes nor no, and it was also a signal to close the conversation right there and then.
The two sat in silence for a while, simply staring at the starry sky.
"By the way…" Atsushi began. "Where are you getting off?"
"Where you get off," Fuji answered simply. "I'm going to visit a friend. He offered me a place to stay for the night." Well, in truth, it's more like he will, seeing Fuji will probably blackmail the guy until he has no reputation left and finally agrees.
Atsushi looked at Fuji with a strange look. "That's… nice…"
The trip ended without much discussion between the two except for that of tennis related things. By the time the two got off, it was rather late already, a couple minutes before ten thirty. Ryou had come to pick up his twin, and Fuji silently slipped away before the boy could ask whom she was. So that is how Fuji ended walking down a deserted road, looking for…
"Found it," Fuji smirked as she gracefully climbed over the fence. She didn't want to alert everyone of what was happening after all. There wasn't much need, and she would rather confront her friend about it before his whole family. That way, they could think of some far-fetched excuse that no one buys, but accept it anyhow. (And of course, that makes no sense whatsoever, but this is Fuji's mind after all!)
Saeki was reading, something that the young boy rarely did. In fact, he didn't even know why he was reading. Well, actually he did, because his sister had forced him to read what was suppose to be 'the best book EVER', but why he was actually doing it was beyond his thoughts. He just was. Okay, enough on that topic.
Bang! Bang!
Saeki looked up from his book and at the clock, which read ten fifty-seven. He then turned towards the window, where he had suspected the noise to come from.
Bang! Bang!
Abandoning his book, Saeki carefully strode over to the window, and cautiously opened it a crack. Nothing. Then…
"Saeki! Down here!"
Confused, the boy slowly let his eyes wander down to the ground, where none other than Fuji Syusuke stood in all her girly-ness glory. Saeki almost fainted.
"Fuji! What the hell are you doing dressed in a girl's uniform?" he hissed as he slammed the window and dashed downstairs. A few moments later, he was face to face with Fuji, who wore a pleasantly sickening smile on her lips.
"Nice to see you too," Fuji chirped. She knew Saeki would've recognized her. Saeki, meanwhile, was gawking at her up and down, trying to intake everything.
"Fuji you look… you look… you look ridiculous!" he pointed out, though deep down he always knew that Fuji was more cut out to be wearing a girl's uniform than a boy's. Really, everyone knew that. The thing fitted Fuji all too well in his opinion.
"But Kojirou, you have to admit I look pretty cute in this, right?" Fuji taunted, giving the boy a wink as she did a twirl.
"Fuji… I know we cross-dressed Yuuta in the past, but you doing this in public for no reason at all…" Saeki began.
"Saa… can't you see clearly that I'm a girl?" Fuji whined. "I'm hurt, Kojirou!"
"Well, Syusuke, since we're on first-name terms, yeah, you're obviously dressed like a girl," Saeki stated the obvious as Fuji sighed.
"Kojirou, you don't get the point!" Fuji pouted. "I'm not just dressed as a girl, I am a girl!"
At this Saeki just stared at her up and down again. It was true, Fuji's frame had obviously become more curved and slimmer, not to mention several other details. But still, this wasn't logic.
"Fuji, you can't become a girl," Saeki said simply. Fuji sighed as she took several steps up to her friend so that the two were less that a foot apart.
"Are you sure? Because Inui's juices does wonders you know," Fuji told him as Saeki examined the girl again. There was no way this was Fuji. Fuji couldn't make everything look so… real.
"But… Fuji… it's illogical!" Saeki finally said as Fuji gripped his shoulders.
"Saeki, you don't know the word logic, remember?" Fuji reminded him as she gave him a good shake. "Besides-"
"Kojirou! Who are you talking to out there?"
Saeki and Fuji froze right then and there as the front door opened, showering the lawn in a warm glow and presenting the two with Saeki's sister. Great… absolutely wonderful.
"Eh… sis… hi!" Saeki supplied lamely as his sister's eyes traveled to Fuji who just stood faintly smiling.
"Oh… was I interrupting something?" she asked, blinking. It was then that Fuji realized that she was still halfway through shaking her friend, thus they were still less than a foot apart and her hands were still on her shoulders. She immediately let go.
"Oh! Not at all! I was just trying to knock some sense into your brother here, right?" Fuji explained.
"Oh, yeah, right!" Saeki agreed. His sister cocked her head to one side and gave Fuji a questioning look.
"You know, you look very familiar…" she noted.
Great, she recognized me… Fuji thought grimly.
"Sis, it's Fuji, remember?" Saeki told her.
Idiot! Does he know what will happen when people find out!
"…Oh! That's right!" Saeki's sister exclaimed as it finally clicked. "You must be FujiYuuta! I still remember when you were over here, dressed in that pretty blue dress, but I didn't think it would have been one of your pastimes!"
"Er… right… I think cross-dressing helps me get in tact with my feminine side, so I sometimes do it late at night," Fuji lied. First he was Tezuka's cousin, then he was Yuuta's niece, and now he was Yuuta himself. How interesting…
"Oh…" Saeki's sister nodded. Fuji elbowed Saeki in the ribs.
"OW! Why- oh… yeah…" The look Fuji gave him said it all. "Sis, Yuuta here's having trouble with his brother again, so can he stay for the night?"
"Of course," Saeki's sister said happily. "After all, mom and dad won't be back until tomorrow evening."
"Thanks."
"Okay, explain the whole thing, okay?" Saeki told Fuji as soon as they had made their way up to his room and locked the door and window to prevent Saeki's sister from possibly eavesdropping.
"What's there to explain? I'm a girl. Pretty obvious, isn't it?" Fuji shrugged as she removed some dust from a photo of a seven-year-old Yuuta dressed in a pretty blue dress looking like he was about to kill the eight-year-old Saeki and Fuji, who were trying to apply mascara and lipstick to him.
"Yeah… But there's no way you could've really turned into a girl! That's impossible!" Saeki concluded.
"Do you want proof, Kojirou dear?" Fuji said sarcastically. She had a feeling that she was going to go through a lot of this for the rest of the week.
"What do you mean proof?" Saeki said suspiciously.
"Proof that I'm a girl, Kojirou honey."
Saeki thought over this carefully. Knowing Fuji, nothing was beyond the boy's limits. Actually, Saeki didn't even think that Fuji knew the word 'limit'. And this whole thing didn't sound very appealing to Saeki at all…
"As long as it isn't some crazy or graphical proof," Saeki said slowly. Fuji smirked.
"Oh! Kojirou had a dirty, dirty mind!" Fuji taunted as Saeki rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Here, drink up," Fuji tossed Saeki a vile. Thank Inui for letting Fuji keep the last remaining sample of the juice that contained the Magical Chemical 3.8.
"…What is this?" Saeki asked uncertainly as he shook the vile. The blue liquid did not look very inviting.
"It's what I drank to get into this condition," Fuji explained as she pointed to her chest. "I'm sure after you've tasted this that it'll give you all the proof you need."
"Eh…"
"Oh, Kojirou dearest! Don't tell me you don't want to become a girl for a week!" Fuji laughed.
"Fine! Fine! I believe you!" Saeki finally gave in. "Besides, there's absolutely no way those are fake," he added, pointing towards Fuji's chest. Fuji simply smiled.
"I knew you would understand, Kojirou love!" Fuji squealed as she gave her childhood friend a big hug. Now that was horror: Fuji squealing… and hugging.
"By the way, I never knew you read Jane Eyre. It's actually quite a nice book, but Kojirou dear, don't you think it's a bit too complicated for you?"
Damn you Fuji… Fujiko… whoever you are.
Two days down, five more to go…