Chapter Seven: It's a Date! (And More Confusion Over Relationships)
Saeki Kojirou might have been never happier in his life when he finally saw the happy-go-lucky Fuji finally leave the next day. The night was indeed long and exhausting, and he had ended up collapsing in sleep halfway through their prank call to Kajimoto. (Where they got his number, go figure.) Fuji decided to turn in fifteen minutes later when she shoved Saeki out of his bed and throwing him a blanket. Saeki's back still hurt from the hard floor and his lungs were still contaminated from dust seeing that Fuji 'accidentally' threw the blanket over his head. He did have to admit it was fun though, but the comments Fuji was making were giving him creeps and not to mention that any guy would have had his nerves racked if he had a girl in his room two at night leaning over his shoulder to see him write 'I cannot answer this question due to my religious beliefs' on his science homework. (Of course we know he only wrote that because he didn't know the answer and didn't even want to try and get it.) Why he was doing homework only Saeki knew, or not.
…Except there was one not so minor detail that he would've preferred to overlook. It was the fact that he was leaving too… with Fuji… to 'help' buy clothes… which Fuji interpreted as a 'date'.
"So! Kojirou dear! Where to first?" Fuji laughed in a sinister manner as she linked arms with her childhood friend. Saeki immediately pulled out off Fuji's grasps.
"How am I suppose to know? You dragged me along, Syusuke precious," Saeki pointed out sarcastically as Fuji shrugged.
"But Kojirou love," Fuji teased, "it's only common courtesy that the male of the romantic relationship directs the female on their first date, ne? And use my other name please."
Saeki scowled. If it were like any other time, he would have played along, but now… "We are not in a romantic relationship, and we will never be, Fujiko-chan dear," the boy stated simply as Fuji smiled.
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Fuji explained as Saeki shook his head. Why was he walking down the street with a psycho girl who is actually suppose to be a boy anyhow? "But really, where to? I don't know this place as well as you do, Saeki."
"Well, it depends on what kind of 'clothes' you want to wear I suppose…"
Shopping with Fuji Syusuke was torture and hell itself as Saeki remembered, but shopping with Fujiko Suzume… oh man…
"Ne, Kojirou honey, pink or white?" Fuji asked suddenly as Saeki tried to make his way out of the women's clothing isle which Fujiko-chan had dragged him into.
"What?" Saeki asked, confused.
"Color bra. I can't decide. They both look so pretty," Fuji said, trying to suppress a wave of laughter as Saeki tripped and fell.
"FUJI!"
"Sorry! Sorry!"
And that was only the first store. The next one they went to was a photography shop. Saeki almost breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Fujiko couldn't do much harm in a store like this. Key word is almost.
"Ne, Kojirou dearest, which?" Fuji asked, her back turned to the boy as she examined two frames.
"Which what?" Saeki said, confused.
"Color. Blue or pink?"
"Blue?" Saeki guessed uncertain.
"I knew it!" Fuji giggled as she skipped to the checkout. Saeki just blinked in confusion as the girl handed the clerk a picture to be fitted inside of the frame. Whatever it was, Saeki had a really bad feeling about it. A really bad feeling about it.
"Here you go, Kojirou!" Fuji said as she handed the boy a brown-wrapped parcel. Saeki hesitantly opened it, stared at it for a couple of seconds, turned a shade to match the frame, and then proceeded to the nearest trashcan to dispose of it.
"…That wasn't very nice, Saeki."
"FUJI!"
"Hey! Ryou, look, it's a picture of you," Atsushi noted as the twins past a trashcan. Ryou looked over in interest as Atsushi gingerly fished a picture of Ryou playing tennis with a blue frame out of the junk. "But why does it say 'I Love My Boyfriend?"
"Huh?" Ryou was quite sure he wasn't anyone's boyfriend. No, he was positive he wasn't.
"You never told me you dated," Atsushi muttered.
"I never did," Ryou assured his twin as he took the frame from his twin and turned it over to reveal the words: To Saeki, because you know it's true. From Fujiko Suzume. Then written in miniscule writing under it, another line of words said: It's a joke, really!
"Fujiko Suzume?" Ryou wondered. He wasn't really phased by it, seeing that Saeki did these stupid things nearly every day.
"She's suppose to me Fuji Yuuta's relative… and Tezuka's cousin," Atsushi explained. "I think she plays tennis too. Met her yesterday."
"I'd like to play her sometimes… but how come you never told me the Tezuka's and Fuji's were related?"
"I never knew."
The twins mused in silence for a while before moving on.
"Saeki! Saeki! It was only a joke!" Fuji apologized as she ran after the fuming boy. "Saeki!"
"Go away," Saeki said stubbornly, hand making its way into his tennis bag (he had practice after) as he continued to avoid the pleading girl.
"Saeki! Saeki!"
"I said go away!" Saeki growled as his hands clasped around what he was looking for.
"Saeki, I-"
"What's one plus one, Fujiko-chan?" Saeki asked suddenly with a wicked grin to rival that of Fuji's. Fuji just stared at the boy in surprise for a half second, but it was enough for her to hear a click and a see flash of light.
"…SAEKI!"
"I'm giving this to everyone I know once it develops."
But the most frustrating thing that topped all else was this:
"Saeki, come on! There's a store I want to visit still!" Fuji said as she dragged the unwilling Saeki down the streets. It was all too embarrassing in the boy's opinion. They looked like they were the average teenage couple, and Saeki did not like that image at all. By then, they had arrived at their 'destination'.
"Ah! Come on, Saeki! Let's go in!" Fuji said excitedly as she clung to her friend's arm and started jumping up and down like a child. Saeki felt his face turn beet red.
"F-Fuji…! Th-that's… that's… that's a lingerie store!"
After that incident, a few more shops, jokes, and a lot more blackmail gathering for both sides, Saeki and Fuji were finally seated in the most expensive restaurant in Chiba, enjoying lunch outside, courtesy of Fuji (or so she said she would pay). Wait, no, scratch out the 'enjoying' part.
"Kojirou dear, I never knew you were a vegetarian!" Fuji exclaimed as Saeki chocked on his salad.
"I'm not! It's the part of the team menu that says we're suppose to eat more vegetables." Saeki mumbled. Fuji said the most ridiculous things, really.
"Would you like some of Inui's juice then? They have a lot of the needed nutrition in them," Fuji offered. Saeki nervously laughed. If Inui's juices were capable of gender switching, god… he definitely did not want to know what the others did.
"I think I'll-"
"Ryou! There she is! The one who claims to be Fuji Yuuta's niece and Tezuka Kunimitsu's cousin!"
Fuji and Saeki's conversation froze immediately as Atsushi and Ryou spotted the two and came bounding over.
"You're Tezuka's cousin?!" Saeki whispered harshly as Fuji irked out a meek smile and shrugged.
"It was an excuse so I wouldn't look like his girlfriend!" Fuji shot back. "And besides, it was Kuni-chan himself who insisted upon it, really!"
"Kuni-chan?!" Saeki hissed.
"Don't ask!" Fuji shushed as the Kisarazu twins came up to the two.
"Oh, Saeki, nice to see you again!" Atsushi greeted him.
"Same here," Saeki returned.
"So, you have a twin?" Fuji smiled, inserting herself into the conversation. Ryou turned to examine her for a second or two before Atsushi gave him a little nudge to say something.
"Ah!" Ryou exclaimed. "Sorry, I'm Kisarazu Ryou, older twin of Kisarazu Atsushi, nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too," Fuji returned with a smile. By now, the twins had pulled along chairs from empty tables.
"So, leave you for a some time and you get a girlfriend behind our backs?" Atsushi teased as Saeki let out a growl of frustration.
"Do I even need to tell you no?" Saeki spelled out.
"Then what are you doing, having lunch with her?" Ryou asked.
"Eh…"
"Why shouldn't I?" Fuji asked. Time to pull another one… "After all, I'm Kojirou's sister-in-law, right, Kojirou?"
"Sister-in-law?" the twins chorused in surprise.
Sister-in-law! Are you crazy Fuji! Saeki thought in irritation. Oh, wait, it's Fuji, so why am I surprised?
"You're sister… she got married, Saeki?" Ryou asked, not quite believing it.
"Wait, if your sister got married," Atsushi began, "and she's your sister-in-law," he indicated Fuji, "and Yuuta's niece, then that would mean…"
"…Fuji Syusuke is married to Saeki's sister," Ryou finished for his twin. Then the two digested it.
"…" Saa… next time you should think about what you're saying before saying it, Syusuke… Oh well, all the more fun! Fuji mused in bliss while Saeki began falling apart.
"Yup, that's right!" Fuji said happily as Saeki gave her a 'what do you think you're doing!' look.
"…Wait, that doesn't make any sense!" Atsushi said. "It's impossible for Fuji Syusuke to have a child his age, right?"
No one said anything.
"Right?" Atsushi repeated.
"Oh! Atsushi, I'm going to be late for practice," Ryou told his twin, changing the confusing subject. Hooray for Sunday practices! "Saeki, you should come along too."
"Right," Saeki said quickly as he pulled Ryou out of the door, not wanting to have anything to do with Fuji anymore and thankful for the excuse to get away.
"That Kojirou," Fuji muttered as she too stomped out of the store. Atsushi just sighed. He suddenly felt like the only person who acted his appropriate age of the bunch.
"Ah, sir, here's the caviar ordered," the waiter said curtly as he placed the dish in front of Atsushi and a receipt.
"Caviar? I didn't order-" but the waiter was already gone. Atsushi dared take a peek at the bill. "S-seventeen thousand three-hundred and one yen!" (Waiter: what can I get you two? Saeki: I'll have salad and a glass of water please. Fuji: Um… I'll take this, and the most expensive thing you have!) How was he going to pay for all that! (A/N: That's about a hundred and fifty-seven dollars. I really have no clue if they even have caviar in Japan, but oh well!)
"Why am I the one paying!"
And so poor Atsushi ended up doing dishes for the rest of the day, courtesy of his wonderful friends.
Meanwhile, having lost Saeki and Ryou, Fuji decided that she had bothered them enough as it is. So what to do now? After all, it was only one thirty and Fuji was still itching for more excitement. (And blackmail of course.)
"Hmm… Seigaku tennis practice starts soon," She noted with a smile. Time to check up on the transferring sheets with her ever so darling (sarcasm intended) captain.
Wonder how Tezuka will deal with all the rumors Echizen and Momoshiro are probably spreading…