-The Best Gift-
A One Piece Christmas Fanfic by Digitaldreamer
Chapter Two: Please Do Not Feed the Santa
Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm having a lot of fun writing this, so I do hope you all enjoy it! I have so many ideas and it's just so much fun…whee!
I'm so busy because I have so many drawings to make for people and this to write…but hey, it's worth it to see peoples reactions to my gifts for them.
I do hope you all enjoy the second chapter of my gift to you all!
Oh, please keep in mind that this is my first time writing Smoker, Tashigi, and Ace. If any of them are OOC, PLEASE tell me!
Thank you and enjoy!
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"Oh, the weather outside is frightful! But the snow is so delightful! And since we have no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"
"OHMYGOSH LOOK AT ALL THE LIGHTS! THIS IS SO COOL!"
"AHHHHHH! They have reindeer in front of their store!"
"Those are fake ones, Chopper."
"Oh, yeah."
"Just think, they may want a REAL reindeer though..."
"AHHH! NOT ME! NOT ME!"
"Ugh…there's so much slush Why doesn't the mayor of this place at least try to keep the roads salted? These boots were expensive…"
"Nami-swaaaaaaan, please allow me to throw myself before you so you may step on me and not get your dainty feet cold in all this snow!"
"Oh no, that's all right Sanji-kun. But someone will need to buy me replacements for these rather expensive boots…."
"I would be honored to buy boots for your glorious feet, Nami-san!"
Zoro's eye visibly twitched. Why had he chosen to come along on this damned shopping trip again?
He glanced back at Luffy, whom was gazing around at all the decorations with an awed grin on his face, eyes shining with excitement. The swordsman shook his head in disbelief as he viewed his captain's child-like excitement. Right, that was why. He enjoyed seeing his captain so happy, especially after the whole mess on Vendetta Island with Kuro.
The swordsman didn't really care for the holidays. Sure, he still celebrated them, it was an excuse to drink good sake. But really, he felt there hadn't much of a point to it beyond that. Then again, he hadn't really had much of purpose for the past few years. It had simply been about going along, fulfilling that promise he'd made so many years ago. Nothing had felt real, things had just sort of…been.
But he had a new purpose now. He had nakama now. Something to protect and strive for, a new goal that came only after the promise he'd been keeping for years.
The past few years had just felt so unreal, like walking through a fog that dulled his senses. And now there was that smile, breaking through the fog.
It was like a breath of fresh air.
And that just brought a whole new meaning to the picture. Something that touched his heart and made him feel again.
Maybe that was why things felt so different this year.
Or maybe he'd just become soft.
The swordsman snorted, shaking his head. He wasn't the type to get sentimental, it was probably best to just not bother thinking about it.
"SANTA!" Luffy's voice suddenly interrupted the swordsman's thoughts. Zoro blinked, seeing nothing but a blur of red fly out of his line of vision.
Luffy charged across the street and quite nearly got run over by several people, but he was oblivious to this. He was too busy focusing on the hobo who had been unfortunate enough to have a large red coat and a large white beard around this time of year.
"Luffy, that's not Santa!" Nami cried, but Luffy apparently didn't hear her.
"SANTA!" WHUMPH!
"Gah! Kid, get off of me!" the hobo cried, trying to shake Luffy off.
"Okay Santa, I want a bunch of meat and lots of cool stuff and I want all of my nakama to be happy and I want meat!" Luffy began to babble on and on, apparently oblivious to the man's instant cries that he was not Santa.
"Santa?" Chopper blinked, then noted the man his captain was hugging. "SANTA!" The reindeer cried, following Luffy's example and glomping the man as well.
The crew watched this for a few seconds, displaying expressions ranging from amused to horrified to utterly embarrassed. Apparently no one was willing to go pry Chopper and Luffy away from the hobo, as that would prove to everyone staring that they were with the two crazies.
Zoro glanced over at Nami, whom was covering her face with her hands before rolling his eyes and stomping across the street. "Cowards," he growled.
"Is it true that you ride in a big sleigh that's pulled by reindeer?" Luffy was babbling, eyes wide.
"For the last damn time, I'm not Santa!"
"Luffy…" Zoro grunted, reaching out to grab the boy by the back of his shirt and pull him away from the poor old man. "That's not Santa."
Luffy blinked up at the swordsman. Chopper hopped off of the man, blinking as well.
"He's not?"
"No."
"Oh…" Luffy and Chopper glanced at each other before looking back at the hobo and laughing.
"Sorry mister! Merry Christmas!" With that they rushed back to the group.
The homeless man grumbled, sitting up and trying to straighten his ragged coat. Zoro carefully wiped some of the snow off of him.
"Sorry about that," he muttered.
The man shook his head, giving a small smile. "Eh…it's all right. I guess a lot of kids get excited around this time of year…they with you?"
"Unfortunately," Zoro grunted.
The man laughed out loud. "I envy you. It must be exciting to have friends like that," he said, eyes twinkling as he watched Luffy and Chopper babbling excitedly across the street.
The swordsman shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. "Yeah, it is."
"Well…it's a season of miracles. Maybe you can find a bit of that spirit too, hm?" the hobo said with a smile and a wink, beginning to walk away. "Who knows…maybe you'll get what you're really wishing for. Merry Christmas!"
Zoro blinked. "Er…yeah…Merry Christmas," he said, heading back across the street.
He returned just in time to see Nami gathering everyone together in an attempt to organize things. "Okay, everyone focus!" she cried, trying to get everyone's attention. "We're here to get a tree, remember?"
"And decorations! Don't forget decorations!" Usopp added.
"Yes, mistletoe!" Sanji cried.
Nami sighed, shaking her head. "Yes, those too. So let's just-"
"SANTA!" Chopper's high, excited voice cut off Nami's as the reindeer pointed wildly at the town square ahead of them.
"Chopper, we've been through this. There's no Santa here," Nami said calmly. "Now anyway-"
"No, really! Look!" The reindeer cried.
The navigator rolled her eyes, glancing towards where Chopper was pointing…only to see that he was right.
A large, fake plastic sleigh had been placed in the center of the square, which was surrounded by all sorts of Christmas decorations. There were tall candy canes around the sleigh, apparently blocking off people from going near it. There was also a long line of young, excited children that wrapped around the square. Several exhausted looking adults in elf costumes were apparently trying to keep the children in line as one by one they went up the sleigh.
And of course, the one in the sleigh? Santa himself, laughing merrily as children seated themselves on his lap.
"Oh…what do you know?" Nami muttered.
"The sign says 'Meet Santa'!" Chopper cried excitedly, jumping up and down. "I wanna meet Santa! I wanna meet Santa!"
"Me too! Me too!" Luffy shouted.
"But we're here to get decorations! Christmas is tomorrow, we don't have time!" Nami cried.
Chopper turned back to stare at Nami with wide, tear-filled eyes. "B-but…but…I want to see Santa!"
"Me too!" Luffy cried, mirroring Chopper's expression.
Nami inwardly cringed. Even she couldn't last forever against such an assault! Sure, Zoro was more likely to cave against Luffy's puppy-dog eyes than her, but that with the combined force of Chopper's cuteness was impossible to handle.
She managed to hold her 'That's Final!' glare for a total of ten seconds before finally sighing and shaking her head. "Okay, okay, fine! You can go see Santa! You'd probably be too distracted to help anyway," she muttered with a small smile.
Both Chopper and Luffy cheered, and the two began to do some sort of odd, disturbing victory dance. Nami watched this for a few moments before focusing on the other members of the crew.
"Okay, since those two are going to see Santa, that leaves the five of us. Sanji-kun, Usopp? You guys have to get a big tree and bring it back to the ship, all right?"
"I will seek out a tree worthy to be on the same ship as my beautiful Nami-san!" Sanji crowed, hearts filling his eyes.
"W-wait, why do I have to come? I can't carry that thing!" Usopp cried, eyes widening. There was no way he'd be able to carry a big old pine tree all the way back to the ship. "I-I can't do it…I have... ah….Tree-itis. It's a horrible disease that comes when I'm near pine trees, so I'll just have to go back to the ship-"
"Or you could get a fake tree. I don't care what you say, you're going," Nami snapped.
Usopp raked his brain for an excuse, but couldn't seem to come up with one. Finally he sighed, resigning himself to his fate. "Fine."
"Good. Once you're done with that, be sure to come back and buy a lot of food. Robin and I are going to go get decorations and things, so I guess that leaves Zoro to stick around and watch after Luffy and Chopper-"
"What? Why do I have to do that?" Zoro demanded. He had just been thinking about visiting that pub across the street! "They can take care of themselves!"
"Because you're probably the best chance we have at making sure those two don't jump any more hobo's," Nami said plainly, jerking a thumb towards Luffy and Chopper. The two were now occupied with poking at a light-up reindeer, succeeding in accidentally knocking off one of it's antlers. "That and if you go off by yourself, you'll get lost and we won't see you again until New Years."
"I would not-"
"Do it or I'm raising your debt…how much is it that you owe me now?" Nami said offhandedly.
"I…but…GAH!" the swordsman growled in frustration, throwing his hands up.
"No objections? Good. Here, take some money in case it costs anything, and save some to buy presents when you're finished. Do not spend it on beer," Nami said, a hint of a threat in her voice as she pressed a wad of money into Zoro's hand and then shoved him towards Luffy and Chopper.
"Woman, one of these days you are going to hell!" Zoro ground out.
"I know!"
"Nami-san is so wonderful when she is ordering people around!" Sanji crooned.
"Oh, would you shut up? Let's get going," Usopp muttered.
And with that, the Straw Hat pirates separated.
---
Meanwhile, back at the Going Merry, there was a great flash of green and red. Shanks, still clad in the 'Playboy Sugerplum Fairy' outfit, appeared about fifteen feet above the main deck. He floated there for a few seconds, staring down at the ship which was far more far away than it should have been. The red-haired pirate then let out a cry as gravity decided to reacquaint itself with him and send him crashing to the ground.
WHAM!
Shanks lay there for a few minutes, twitching. He then sat up, rubbing his head. "Ah…this must be Luffy's ship then!" He grinned, standing up and brushing himself off before beginning to take a look around.
"Not bad…not bad at all. Looks like he's doing pretty well for himself," he murmured, smiling.
Suddenly, there was another flash of green and red, and the newly-made Spirit's wand came tumbling from the sky and landed on his head. Apparently it had finally caught up with him.
Shanks gave a cry of pain, reaching out to snatch the object before it could fall to the ground. He gave the wand a glare, but unfortunately for him the glare that was known to scare away Sea Kings didn't work so well on inanimate objects.
"Stupid wand…" the red-haired pirate muttered, stuffing it into his pocket. "I'm a pirate, not a damn fairy! Stupid thing doesn't even work…"
Apparently the wand, in spite of being inanimate, did not like being called stupid. It proceeded to give Shanks a rather nasty shock, whom in turn yelped and pulled out the wand to glare at it again.
"I hate you," he scowled at it. The wand simply sat there, looking merry with it's bright stripes of white and red.
After a few more minutes of glaring Shanks huffed and jammed the wand back into his pocket before beginning to look around. Odd…you'd think with this being Luffy's ship and all it'd be a lot louder.
"Luffy?" The red-haired pirate called, his voice echoing through the empty bay. "LUFFY?"
Upon receiving no response, Shanks began to search. He checked everywhere, the galley, the cabins, the bathroom, the storage room, everywhere! But still, he found no one.
"Arrrghhh, where are they?" he demanded to the empty sky.
It was then that a thought struck him. It was the day before Christmas…maybe they had all gone Christmas shopping?
Sighing, Shanks hopped off of the ship and began walking towards town. "No, I'm not using you again," he snapped to his wand, which had remained silent. "Stop mocking me."
---
The line to see Santa was insanely long, wrapping all the way around the square. It was packed full of kids, excited ones, crying ones, whining ones. And then there were the kids poor parents, many of which looked exhausted and a bit annoyed.
Zoro felt very out of place, standing in the line with his arms crossed in front of him and glaring at every child whom dared to even attempt to cut in front of him. There was no way in Hell he was waiting in this line any longer than he had to!
Luffy and Chopper stood in front of him, babbling excitedly and jumping up and down. Their excitement had only grown as they neared the great big sleigh at the center of the square. Really, Zoro was expecting them both to explode like one of Usopp's experiments at this rate.
Fortunately the two never got around to exploding, as at long last they were next in line.
"Next!" the surly looking elf whom was directing the line called out.
Chopper looked back at Luffy and Zoro, eyes wide with excitement.
"Go, Chopper! Go!" Luffy cried, jumping up and down. Zoro just nodded. The reindeer gave a small squeak of glee before making his way up the small green steps to the sleigh where Santa sat. He then plopped onto Santa's lap, gazing up at him with wide eyes.
"Ho ho ho! What would you like for Christmas little…um…boy?" Santa asked, laughing merrily.
Chopper blinked, seemingly at loss for words. "Um…I…ah…"
Santa watched Chopper for a few moments, glancing nervously back towards the long line of still waiting children, before laughing and shaking his head. "It's all right if you can't think of anything, I...ah…know what's in your heart!"
"Really?" Chopper gasped.
"Yes!" Santa said calmly, grabbing Chopper by the shoulders and turning him towards the camera. "Now smile!"
There was a great flash of light and Chopper was ushered off of the sleigh.
"Okay, n-" The elf was cut off as Luffy practically knocked him over in his rush to get to Santa. The rubber pirate hopped onto Ol' Saint Nick's lap with a wide grin.
"Oof! What the- Ah...I mean…ho oh ho! What would you like for Christmas, little boy?" Santa asked.
Luffy stared at Santa for a moment, his brow furrowing. Then his eyes widened. "ACE?"
Chopper glanced back at the sleigh, eyes widening. "Oh my gosh, it IS Ace! Hi, Ace!"
Zoro's eyes widened a bit. What was Luffy's brother doing up there?
'Santa' froze, then quickly covered Luffy's mouth. "Shhhh, I'm Santa, remember?"
Luffy blinked. "…You're Santa? And you never told me?" he gasped.
"No!" Ace exclaimed, then said in a whisper "Look, I ran out of cash and needed some, so I just took up this job for the holidays," he explained.
"Oh…that's so cool!" Luffy cried, his expression one of complete adoration for his brother.
"Right, cool," Ace said with a small grin. "Just don't tell anyone else, all right?"
"I won't, I promise!" Luffy said cheerfully.
"Yeah…maybe I'll come visit you guys later or some-"
"HEY, what's the holdup?" a disgruntled parent yelled from the line.
"Yeah, hurry up already! I've been waiting here for hours!"
"Ahhh! Um…ho ho ho!" Ace forced a belly-laugh, waving. "I'll be just one more minute with this little boy here!"
"I'm not little," Luffy pouted.
"Oh hush," Ace muttered, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately.
Meanwhile, a few blocks down, a certain Marine captain and Sergeant were walking through town.
"Oh, Smoker-taisa ! What do you think? Would Hina-san prefer this scarf or this one?" Tashigi inquired, holding up two practically identical scarves.
"I don't know, just pick one," Smoker growled, waving his hand. "I can't believe we got stuck here…honestly, those stupid officers…say I'm working too hard and need a vacation…" he grumbled. "They even took my Jutte…bastards…"
"Oh, they had your best interests at heart, Taisa. Besides, it's the holidays!" Tashigi said with a smile. "You deserve a break- AHHH!" Her smile fell as she tripped and fell inches from a display of expensive glass figures.
Smoker sighed, shaking his head and turning away as Tashigi stood and began to frantically apologize to the store owner. Sometimes he really wondered how that woman hadn't managed to accidentally slice off an arm with that sword of hers, given how klutzy she was…
He looked out at the town square, where a huge line had built up filled with children wanted to see Santa Claus. The marine captain sighed and shook his head. Crazy kids…
"ACE!"
Smoker blinked, surprised. Portgas was here?
He glanced around for the source of the yell, finally spotting "Straw Hat" Luffy sitting on the lap of "Santa", whom Smoker immediately recognized as "Firefist" Ace.
The two "D" brothers in one place? Who cared that he was on vacation, this was too good of a chance to pass up. That and he still had to get revenge on Portgas for the last time that they'd met and he'd gone and scorched the marine captain's bed…
Biting down on the two cigars in his mouth, Smoker began to walk up to the two pirates, whom were now putting on the ruse of not knowing each other. Smoker's eyes narrowed and he sucked in a breath…
"STRAW HAT! PORTGAS! YOU TWO ARE UNDER ARREST!" he bellowed.
Luffy and Ace both took on identical looks of confusion as they looked for the source of the yelling. Finally they spotted Smoker and Luffy's wide grin came into place, while Ace's lazy one took shape.
"Oh, Taisa! Hello there!" Ace drawled lazily from behind the white beard he was wearing.
"Merry Christmas, Smokey!" Luffy chirped.
Smoker scowled. "I said you two are under arrest!" He snapped.
"Aw, come on Smokey! I don't wanna fight you now, it's Christmas Eve!" Luffy whined.
"I don't care!" the marine growled, crossing his arms. "You two are under arrest."
"Aw, you really think you're gonna arrest us, Taisa? We both know I'll just end up doing you another 'favor'. Sheesh, it's only been one week! I knew I was good, but damn! You really like this game, don't ya?" Ace said with a cocky grin.
Smoker sputtered, feeling his face grow hot. "PORTGAS!" he snarled, instinctively reaching for the jutte on his back…
Only to find that it wasn't there!
The marine captain scowled, and glanced around for another weapon. His eyes finally settled on one of the giant candy canes being used as decoration.
It would have to do.
Smoker reached out and yanked the candy cane from the ground, swinging it experimentally. He then looked back at Ace and Luffy, whom were both blinking at him. They then burst into laughter.
"Oh, in the spirit of Christmas, Taisa is going to attack us with a candy cane?" Ace snorted. Luffy was too busy laughing to comment on this turn of events.
Smoker's face became a grin as the bottom half of his body suddenly became smoke and he propelled himself forward with a roar.
Both Luffy and Ace's grins fell.
"Oh…shit," Ace muttered.
"RUUUUN!" Luffy cried.
With that they both jumped from the sleigh and began to run as fast they could from the candy-cane wielding, smoky terror that was Captain Smoker. Ace would occasionally throw fireballs in Smoker's direction, but he was having trouble aiming because his fake beard kept blocking his vision.
"Come on Taisa, be reasonable!"
"Smokey, it's Christmas! You're mean!"
"HOLD STILL!"
Zoro groaned, slapping his forehead. Why couldn't they ever just go into town without some sort of chaos happening?
After taking a few moments to reflect on this, the swordsman pulled two katana from their sheaths and ran after his captain.
"GODDAMNIT, LUFFY!"
The children whom had been waiting in line to see Santa all stood in silence, watching as Santa hurled fire balls at the scary, candy-cane wielding man while the boy beside him laughed, while a bit behind them some green-haired guy with two katana ran after them screaming.
"…Was that Roronoa Zoro?"
"Yeah…and Straw Hat Luffy?"
"…that couldn't have been Captain Smoker, could it?"
"Mommy, why does the scary marine want to arrest Santa Claus?" a little boy was saying from the crowd.
"I…I don't know, Billy. Just stay close to me, I don't want any of Santa's fireballs hitting you…"
Chopper stood there, blinking. He then glanced towards the confused crowds and gave a nervous laugh, hopping onto the sleigh and trying to get everyone's attention.
"Um…Santa will be back in awhile, so everyone just sit tight!" he said, waving his arms.
"Who are you?" one of the kids in the crowd demanded.
"Me? I'm…um….one of Santa's reindeer! I'm..uh…Rudolph!"
"I thought Ruldolph had a red nose!"
"I-I do, I just have a cold right now! ASSHOLES! DON'T INSULT MY NOSE!" Chopper cried.
The crowd all stared blankly at him.
"Ummm…ANYWAY! Let's all sing Christmas carols while we wait for Santa to come back, okay?" Chopper said, smiling.
"YAAAAY!"
"Okay um…Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way!" Chopper began to sing, and the crowd began to sing along. I hope Luffy and Ace get back here soon…
---
Shanks trudged through the city streets, grumbling to himself. After spending an hour or so searching for Luffy he had decided to try and buy a drink, only to discover there was yet another draw-back to the whole "Spirit of Christmas" deal.
No one could see or hear him.
This really put a damper on his plan, how was he supposed to get a good shot on Luffy showing some Christmas Spirit if he couldn't talk the boy into doing so? This meant he'd actually have to hunt down the boy and catch him the act!
He was stuck as some Playboy Sugerplum Fairy with a wand with an attitude, and he couldn't even get himself a drink to make it sort of enjoyable? This whole thing sucked. He was going to kick that damn Spirit's ass when he got a hold of him.
"Stupid Spirit…" Shanks grumbled, kicking at the ground. "And I still can't find Luffy! You'd think with all the trouble that he causes he wouldn't be that hard to spot!" he fumed.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Shanks blinked, looking towards the source of the scream…only to see two blurs of red and white rush past him.
"WHOOO!"
"Oh come on Taisa, aren't you kind of overreacting a bit?"
The red-haired pirate stood there, blinking. Hadn't that been Luffy and Ace?
It was then that another blur rushed past him, this one gray and white.
"PORTGAS! STRAW HAT! BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU'LL BE BREATHING THROUGH YOUR EYELIDS!"
Ace replied with something very, very sick about how he wouldn't be able to properly blow on certain things if he was breathing out of his eyelids.
"PORTGAS!"
Shanks blinked once more. Was that Smoker, the marine captain he'd been hearing about lately?
"DON'T TOUCH MY CAPTAIN!" Finally, a blur of green flew past the red-haired pirate captain.
Shanks simply stood there for a few minutes, frowning. Okay... so there was Luffy and Ace…Ace was in a Santa outfit…and…they were being chased by Smoker…whom was being chased by Roronoa Zoro?
…This was all very, very strange.
Finally, after working everything out, Shanks concluded that he'd rather not have his one shot at getting out of these stupid clothes be murdered by a raging marine captain.
"LUFFY! ACE! WAIT UP!" Shanks cried, chasing after Zoro.
He followed them through the streets for awhile, slipping on ice here and there and yelling. Finally he remembered that he was a Spirit and then the trio couldn't hear him and cursed his own stupidity before pulling his wand out of his pocket.
"Okay, I hate you, but you'd better save my one chance at getting out of this mess!" Shanks declared, waving the wand at the chaos in front of him.
There was a great flash of green and red that caused everyone involved in the case to skid to a stop and shield their eyes. Then all four of them were blasted in random directions, snow flying in their wake.
After the light cleared away Shanks stood there with a smoldering wand, blinking at the now empty, and quite Luffy-less street.
"DAMNIT!" he cried, throwing the wand to the ground once again.
---
"Smoker-Taisa! Smoker-Taisa!"
Smoker groaned, cracking open one eye to see Tashigi standing above him. "Tashigi?" He groaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. He looked around, noting he was back where he'd started and was lying in a pile of snow, being stared at by many worried shoppers. "What happened?"
"I'm not entirely sure, sir. You just ran off after Straw Hat and Portgas and you all ran off…then about twenty minutes later there was this great big flash of light and you came flying through the air!" Tashigi exclaimed.
"I see…"Smoker muttered, rubbing his head. "Where's Straw Hat?"
"Straw Hat? Um…I don't know, we haven't seen them since you all ran off," Tashigi said, glancing around.
"Damnit, okay let's start searching!" Smoker declared, standing and beginning to walk away. Tashigi grabbed Smoker's arm.
"Taisa, please, relax! You're getting all worked up, it's Christmas Eve! You'll see Ace-san later! Please just rest for now, you're on vacation!" she pleaded.
"So?" Smoker growled, but even then he was softening. It was the holiday's and those two hadn't been doing anything wrong…
"Just come along, we still have shopping to do anyway!" Tashigi said with a smile, beginning to drag Smoker along. The marine captain grumbled, but allowed himself to be dragged along.
He supposed he could wait until after Christmas.
---
To Be Continued…
Well, that was fun to write! I hope you all enjoyed it! Please review, because reviews are actually what fuels Santa's sleigh. If I don't get enough reviews, Santa may crash and Christmas will be ruined forever!
Next Chapter: Luffy and Zoro have been separated…well, I suppose this is the opportune moment for Christmas shopping, right? But Christmas shopping is always crazy the day before Christmas…will they be able to get all the shopping done? And how are all the other Straw Hats doing?