Disclaimer: I ownly own Me, Myself, and I. -Stabs Me and Myself- n.n

Hello! I'm back with chapter two! Go me! Okay. All the characters are kind of... out of character... esspecially Itachi, as much as I hate to admit it. But, people, open minds! This is all in the name of good humour. Speaking of which, have you read Character Crazy yet?

Chapter Two

The poor unsuspecting Uchiha opened the door, blinking as he came face to face with what he presumed was his older brother.

"SASUKE!"

Sasuke blinked, completely confused. That being said, you can imagine Sasuke's horror as he was glomped by his homicidal brother's stand in.

;-;-;-;-;

Sasuke hastily broke free from the bear hug that his 'Brother' had hit him with. "… I-Itachi?"

Alex paused. How would she act Itachi-ish in this situation? She had no idea. Better just improvise.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!"

Sasuke blinked. He was more afraid of this Itachi than the other form, considering this one was now hopping back and forth from foot to foot as if it was standing on burning charcoal. Why don't I just kill him now… Yes, that idea seemed… great! What a great idea that was! My god Sasuke was smart.

Silently, he tugged out a kunai from his holster, but blinked when he saw that Itachi was no longer in front of him, but rather at the side, attempting to communicate with a small red bird that had perched on the window sill of the window beside his appartment.

"Hi Mr. Bird! How're you? I'm good! … Mr. Birdy? How are you? Why won't you talk to me!"

Sasuke watched as the bird flew away, and Itachi lapsed into tears. Sasuke's problems only got worse when non-other than Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura appeared at the top of the stairs to his apartments floor.

Twitching, Sasuke watched as Itachi whirled around, and started skipping like a pansy toward the group, who formed what Sasuke would like to call a "Death stance."

"FRIENDS! HI FRIENDS!" He screamed, taking a dramatically long time to get there. Before Itachi was in their attacking range, Sasuke grabbed the end of his Akatsuki cloak, pulled him back, and hastily shoved him into his apartment.

;-;-;-;-;

"So… you're saying that Itachi just turned up on your doorstep like that, and you didn't kill him?" Kakashi drawled, arching his visible eyebrow at Sasuke, who made an irritated noise.

"I was about too, but that damn bird got in my way." Sasuke made a mental note to track down the red bird and cut it in two. "Then I spotted that there was something wrong with Itachi."

"You're telling me." Naruto stated, crossing his arms over his chest and nodding, "It really took you that long? God, Sasuke you're losing it!"

Naruto got a thump over the head from Sakura's fist. "BAKA! Sasuke-kun, I don't think anybody would have noticed that early."

Silently, all eyes trailed towards where Alex, still looking like Itachi, stood, giggling hysterically when her eyes fell on anything suggestive. (Like Sasuke's bookcase and desk chair.) Everybody sweat dropped.

"Well," Kakashi sighed, "I think it's safe to say that something drew Itachi over the edge. He's completely nuts. I'd be surprised if he even remembered what he did."

A giggle came from Itachi, "Nuts is a funny word!" It was ignored.

"You mean the massacre?" Sasuke asked, the question of which was a stupid one seeing as Sasuke knew what Kakashi had meant. "I'm not so sure…"

"Lets check. Hey, Itachi."

Itachi looked up.

"Do you remember what happened with you and Sasuke's family?"

"YOU MEAN WE'RE MARRIED?" Itachi squealed.

The group, again, sweat dropped. Kakashi drew his conclusion. "Yep. He don't remember a thing. I don't think he even remembers you as a brother, Sasuke."

"…"

"Never the less, it would be a good idea for you to keep him here. Besides," Kakashi continued, looking at Sasuke who had just been glomped by his older brother again, "it looks like he's taken a liking to you."

"Oh. Great. This is like Christmas."

;-;-;-;-;

"Here's your bed." Sasuke drawled, directing Itachi to a futon, that was on the other side of the room from Sasuke's.

He paused as he watched Itachi's eyes light up, and dive at the futon in a girlish fashion. "I HAVE A BED! SQUEE!"

"You mean… you haven't had a bed before?" Sasuke asked, sitting on his own futon. Itachi paused, rolling over to look at him.

"Not unless you could straw, moss and the occasional bird carcass."

What… on earth has Itachi been doing all these years? Sasuke thought, glaring in his Brother's direction. They hadn't been in the same room for so many years…

Meanwhile, while Sasuke was thinking of all the household devices he could use to maul or fatally wound his older brother, Alex was thinking of very different things. Why aren't we in the same bed? I thought Itachi-sama and Sasuke were lovers. Could I have been mistaken? Her thoughts paused, swapped to something about cheese, then swapped back. Nah. Itachi-sama wouldn't lie to me. Still… there is some distance between us… maybe I should do what Itachi would do and close the distance. I wonder what he's doing now?

;-;-;-;-;

What Itachi's doing now:

"Oh, Kisame, can you imagine a more pleasant evening?" Itachi asked. He was in a great mood. Alex was gone, for good, and he was now alone, with Kisame. Kisame being with him was the only let down, but he wasn't going to let that ruin his spirit!

"You know, Itachi, the idiot could have gotten it all wrong." Kisame said, ripping off as much meat of the chicken leg that his mouth could manage. The pair were currently sitting a the massive dinner table that was assigned just for them, that was covered with chicken, chicken, some pickles, and more chicken. Kisame swallowed. "She could be trying to move in on Sasuke instead."

"Don't jinx it!" Itachi suddenly screamed, mortified at the thought of Alex trying to hit on his little brother… looking like him. "If you say that, it'll happen! So just, just, shut up!"

But, it was to late, Kisame had already spoken the words.

;-;-;-;-;

Alex blinked. I think I just sensed a sign from my deep sub-consciousness that said to close in the gap!

So, grinning, Alex, who by the way was still looking like Itachi, moved closer and closer towards unsuspecting Sasuke… before finally leaping on top of the younger Uchiha.

Sasuke, who had been half way to the land of dead Itachi's, got the wind blown out of him, and store blankly up at Itachi, who was now positioned in a very suggestive way on top of him.

Itachi was moving in now, his mouth almost… almost… no. Itachi wouldn't. Plans to get Itachi off of him scanned through the younger Uchiha's mind, and being the calm and collected boy he was, Sasuke screamed high pitched like a girl, kicked Itachi in the balls (Itachi of which kneeled over, falling off of Sasuke), jumped up, and ran for the safety of a locked bathroom.

Once Alex was sure that Sasuke was firmly locked in the bathroom, she decided it was safe to turn back into herself again. After a small poof, Alex, who was in her normal rag clothes, clutched her groin. "Ow… now I know why you never hit boys there… Man… it hurts and I don't even have anything there! Ow… Itachi-sama never said this would happen…"

She sighed in relief, and after the pain subsided, she formed the hand signals, and stated; "Henge no Jutsu." Once Itachi again, she curled up in her futon, and reflected over the happenings, coming up with one reason: Sasuke was playing hard to get.

To be continued.