Chapter 3 – Tick Tock
If there was one thing Riku couldn't help admiring about Sora, it was his enthusiasm about everything.
As they walked side by side down the snow-chilled streets, Sora did not miss a thing. He kept pausing to wave at people huddled in large overcoats, and somehow Riku knew that Sora wasn't doing it because he knew those people, but because he was trying to be friendly or thought the people needed some holiday cheer. Sometimes Riku tried to pretend he wasn't walking with the other man, but it seemed like whenever he tried that, Sora tugged him towards a random display window to look at pointless knick-knacks or whatever, which his own strange way of making sure Riku was always included and with him for everyone to see.
Everything Sora did, he did with a level of love and happiness for life that astounded (and intimidated) Riku, who had no choice but to follow the crazy ride. He didn't even know where they were going or what this date was going to consist of. He was nervous. And when he was nervous, he got awkward, but this didn't seem to deter Sora at all, for he kept finding ways to loosen him up.
"Look, Riku!" Sora laughed, tugging Riku's trench coat sleeve and pointing across the street. His voice lowered conspiratorially. "Santa Claus is putting gas in his car! Heehee."
Riku gave a faint smile, glancing at the fake Santa at the convenience store.
"I wonder what he tells kids when they ask him why he's driving a car and not his sleigh around town?" Sora wondered as he led Riku around the corner. "I can just see Sion and Rikku now." He paused to snicker, and then his voice took on a high-pitched, childish tone as he dramatically waved his hands. "'Sowa, Sowa! Santa dwives a BMW!'"
Then he promptly broke into giggles and danced ahead, his long colorful scarf trailing behind him in the cold breeze as he twisted around and around, kicking up patches of snow along the edges of the sidewalk. Riku silently watched after him, studying the absolute ease of his movements and how simply happy he seemed. He made life look easy... and Riku admired that.
"Hey Riku!"
He blinked, realizing he had zoned out. He focused on Sora again, who had paused suddenly and turned to watch him. There was a manically happy grin on his face as he gestured to a patch of untouched snow next to them on the street corner.
"Look, it's perfect!"
After eyeing the ground in confusion, Riku shot him a look as if to ask, Perfect for what?
Sora gave a mischievous little giggle and then turned, falling backwards into the snow, arms and legs spread eagle. Riku felt his mouth drop open as he gaped at Sora, suddenly wary of people on the street staring at them.
"Sora, what are you doing!"
"Snow angels!" he called, his limbs already moving to make the pattern in the snow. "C'mon, it's fun!"
"People are watching!"
"So?" Sora laughed up at him. "You better get down here before I pull you down."
No way!
Riku narrowed his eyes at the other man, trying to hold back an embarrassed hiss as he took a step forward, gesturing. "Get up! You're practically in the middle of the street!"
"No I'm not," he replied easily, blue eyes shining with mirth. "Loosen up! It feels nice."
"But..."
Riku hesitated, glancing at his surroundings. As it turned out, no one was really around or even watching them, and Riku had no reason to feel so awkward. Still, holiday cheer or not, Sora was acting like a child!
"I'm not going to get up until you make one too, Ri-kuuu!"
Riku turned his attention back to Sora, feeling some of his resolve melt away. "I could just leave you here," he pointed out, though there wasn't much bite in it.
Sora pouted up at him. "No you wouldn't. Stop being such a Scrooge!"
"You're going to catch a cold."
"Then you better hurry and do your snow angel, because if I do catch a cold, my mom will make you be my slave until I'm all better!"
Now that Riku believed. Giving Sora a mock glare, he sighed, giving in. He turned, took a deep breath, and flopped into the snow next to the other man. He heard Sora's snicker of amusement and ignored it, deciding not to give Sora the pleasure of winning. Riku made two quick swoops of his arms and legs, just enough to make his snow angel.
"There," he announced, and then turned to give Sora a pointed look.
He was surprised to find Sora's face only a few inches from his own, an impish grin pulling at his lips. Riku wondered about the look, thinking that surely Sora couldn't be planning something else—
But then a pile of snow landed on his head.
"Look, it matches your hair!" Sora laughed, getting to his feet before Riku could retaliate.
Oh, but Riku did. After spending a second digesting the fact Sora had just dumped snow on him, he leapt up and scrambled through their snow angels to tackle Sora back to the ground. Sora let out a peel of laughter, flailing and kicking up snow as Riku landed on top of him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he choked through his giggles.
Riku just gave a small smirk in return and dumped a few handfuls of snow on Sora's face, enjoying the way Sora's voice grew more high-pitched. When Sora started struggling, Riku grinned at the challenge and dug his fingers into Sora's large coat, aiming for his ribs to tickle.
With a loud cry of mercy, Sora madly squirmed, half laughing hysterically and crying, and half gasping for breath, his face flushed and his brown spikes dotted with white flakes of ice as he thrashed under Riku.
"Mercy! Mercymercymercy!"
Satisfied with Sora's surrender, Riku relented and got up, feeling completely victorious—
That is, until he felt a handful of snow slam into his head again.
He blinked down at Sora, who was looking suddenly triumphant.
"Tricked you."
But instead of exacting revenge this time, Riku just shook his hair free of ice, grinned at Sora's grin, and then laughed.
"Sora... are you sure this is safe...?" Riku asked hesitantly, wobbling out shakily onto the ice and looking at his brunette companion with wide, terrified green eyes.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be! I wouldn't have taken you here if it wasn't!" Sora chirped, clasping his hands behind his back and doing a slow spin, sending ice flecks to coat the air. The wind was fierce against his cheeks, bringing a crisp red to them, and his lips were growing chapped from the continuous exposure to the cold air, but he didn't mind. This was the best date that he had ever been on!
He had decided that ice-skating would be the next thing to do in their unwritten agenda, and he had to admit that the idea was becoming rather amusing. In the skates that they had rented minutes before, Riku's regal air was lost to awkwardness and slight fear, his arms waving a little at his sides. The fact that they were on a pond located on the outskirts of town probably didn't help to console him—but there was a sign posted further down that indicated where the fragile ice was.
Deciding to take a little bit of pity on Riku—for now—Sora happily smiled to himself and started back towards his friend. Riku was so easy to read, it was simply amazing. The older man probably hadn't been on skates since he was a mere child.
"I'm really enjoying myself, you know," he said, digging his toe picks in and stopping in front of his date. His smile spread further, revealing pearly white teeth, and he reached out, grasping onto Riku's slender hands. "It's not so bad, is it?"
Riku hesitated, eyes flickering with something deep, before he bowed his head and wet his chapped lips. "...No. It's not."
"Heehee. I'm glad." Bowing his head a little, Sora let his grin fade away into another smile, this one faint. "Listen... After tonight... Will I ever... see you again?" Teeth catching his lower lip, he glanced up at his friend uncertainly.
"Sora..." Brows furrowing a little, Riku tried to calm the pounding of his heart down and focus on his "date" and not the slippery ice beneath him. "Well... I..."
"It's okay if you don't want to. But... I like being your friend, Riku." Sora's smile widened, just slightly. "It's really nice."
Something stirred in Riku's heart, something foreign. Something he wasn't prepared to feel quite yet. "..." He opened his mouth, closed it, and then finally settled on a small nod.
Beaming, Sora gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. "Are you ready to learn how to skate? We'll do it together this first time!"
"I... I don't know, Sora..." Riku said tentatively, wetting his lips again. "...I mean... Isn't this just a little dangerous...?" He hated how his voice went up an octave just then, but he couldn't help it, he was terrified of the ice not being able to hold their weight. What if it cracked and sent them plunging into the deadly water beneath?
"You always think so logically," Sora teased, making his expression into a mock stern one. "Why don't you ever lighten up a little? The sign over there says where it's dangerous to skate. Meaning, the ice we're on right here is totally safe!"
"Not 'totally,'" Riku mumbled nervously, eyeing the crystal-like ice below them. "Nothing is entirely safe..."
"You see, it's cynics like you that make this world miserable," the younger of the two sighed with a shake of his head. "Heehee." They were moving slowly along the ice, Sora's feet sliding backwards with a grace that Riku felt he would never be able to master.
"It's cynics like me that make this world livable," Riku countered, squeezing Sora's hands hard when his feet slipped and he stumbled forward. "Oh!"
Laughing, Sora clasped a companionable arm around his shoulders and helped him to his feet. He briefly caught the scent of some expensive cologne that caused his senses to tingle, his cheeks to flush. "Are you all right, Riku?"
"Fine," his date muttered. "Just... ah..."
"Scared?"
Riku shot him a dark look. "I'm not scared."
Sora cracked another grin at that, his laughter growing. "Riiight. Sure you aren't."
"I'm not," the older man huffed, but his fingers held a vice-like grip around Sora's upper arms. "I'm just... nervous."
"Heeheehee. Is that what they call it these days?"
"Sora, please, stop teasing me..." Riku's fingers tightened just slightly as he eyed the ice warily than before, pressing closer to the brunette. Now that Sora minded. No, in fact, he felt another bubble of happiness surge up in his heart, and he let it show in his bright eyes.
Riku happened to look up then, and what he saw there completely riveted him, leaving his throat dry, his heart to skip a desperate beat. His fingers loosened before tightening again, and he dropped his gaze, unable to hold such an intense stare. But even though he knew Sora's obvious liking for him, and that he should probably move away before he only encouraged it, he didn't.
Sora was warm, he reasoned. Sora was a... safe... presence.
And for the first time, Riku felt like he was at home.
Riku had never been on this side of their modest, old-fashioned town around this time of year. After all the excitement of falling repeatedly on the ice, Sora had announced another surprise for Riku. They were now in Roshfall Park where leisure sleigh rides were being given for reasonable prices during the holiday season.
Despite the intimate appearance of the sleigh rides already doing their rounds through the park, Riku didn't feel too intimidated by the prospect of being in such close contact with Sora anymore. A part of him still antsy about the other man's obvious affection for him, but at this point he knew he couldn't say no to anything Sora wanted.
The weather-worn driver didn't even bat an eye at Sora and Riku as they approached, Sora's fingers wrapped snugly around Riku's as he led him to the last vacant sleigh. It was huge, to say the least, and as Sora let go of him to speak to the driver, Riku studied the design. Painted a deep cranberry color to match its faded velvet upholstery, it looked antique and foreign, the ends of its wooden runners curving up into a small spiral. Riku ventured slightly forward, running his hand along the fine wood, noticing a few dents and scratches, and the worn look of the long cushions inside, but the quality was still admirable. It looked like it sat four people, but the driver would be taking the front seat alone, leaving the backseat for amorous couples.
A sharp gust of breath, distinctly equine, greeted Riku as he approached the large horse strapped to the sleigh. Round bells adorned its harness, and it gave a shake of its head, sending sharp jingles in the air as it turned its face to regard Riku. He reached a hand out, tentatively touching the horse's side, feeling the powerful muscles shift under his glove. The horse gave a quiet, friendly nicker, slowly blinking at the human nearing its front. It pushed its nose forward, and Riku ran his hand along the white diamond snout, noticing the flick of its ear and swish of its long, bisque-colored tail.
Riku hadn't been expecting his first encounter with a horse to be quite like this, but he liked it, finding the large beast beautiful with its soft roan color and fuzzy white hooves.
"'e's a shire," a gruff voice suddenly said, breaking Riku out of his intent study.
"Oh?" he replied politely, and then stumbled forward a little as Sora renewed the grip on his arm and tugged him around to the plush cushioned seats. "Sora..." he hissed chidingly, casting him an irate look.
"Mou, what?" Sora pouted. "His name's Bernard." His lips stretched into that familiar grin, and he tugged Riku into the seat beside him, although it took a bit of effort since his friend wasn't all that willing yet. "Bernard, this is Riku."
"'Ello, Riku," Bernard nodded, his voice layered with a thick accent that Riku couldn't quite place. "As the lad said, I'm Bernard." His old blue eyes crinkled as he looked them over. "Are we ready, then?"
Beaming excitedly, a ball of everlasting energy, Sora nodded his head up and down. "Yup! Heehee."
A few minutes later and their sleigh was moving along the snow, the shire horse's jingle bells filling the air and casting a calming warmth over Riku's heart. His companion was looking everywhere, fingers still wrapped snugly about his upper arm, and as his eyes took in the brightly colored Christmas lights, he inched a bit closer. Riku wondered if he should feel uncomfortable, but he surprisingly didn't.
Their eyes met for a second, Sora's a shining blue, Riku's a tranquil green, before the latter slid his gaze away, eyeing the flakes of snow that were beginning to drift down.
"Hey, it's snowing again," Sora giggled, reaching up to draw his fingers through the air. Riku watched with growing interest as the other man tilted his head back, catching a delicate flake on his tongue.
Faintly smiling, Riku relaxed into the cushion, breathing in the distinct wet musk of the horse, the sweet pine in the park, and the subtle lingering scent of baked sweets on Sora's coat each time he pressed a little closer. The large shire was following the curve of the large park path, the sleigh gliding through the snow with relative grace, and Riku found himself enjoying the peaceful ride, not minding the way Sora kept nestling close at his side.
Flecks of white gathered in Sora's hair, some of the melted drops glittering against the Christmas lights, giving Sora an almost celestial halo. Riku studied him for a long moment, noting how Sora kept glancing at him like he was trying to keep in his wide grin but failing. It was cute, admittedly. Really cute.
"I like this," Sora murmured, fearlessly resting his head against Riku's shoulder, his arms curling around Riku's imprisoned one and clutching it close as if he were afraid Riku would bolt. After a moment of silence, he lifted his eyes, staring expectantly up at Riku through his bangs.
Letting the warmth of Sora's body calm him, Riku took in the quiet atmosphere of the park, listening to the crunch of hooves and the slide of wooden runners in the snow, admiring the soft whinnies from the shire and the tinny jingles from its harness bells. The drifting snow and twinkling lights of the city around them were beautiful, as was the snow-covered park, picturesque and... romantic.
Riku decided he liked it too.
Meeting Sora's gaze, he reached a hand up, gently mussing the ice-dotted brown hair and making Sora whine a little. Ducking his head and burrowing it into Riku's neck, Sora drew in a long breath, catching another hint of Riku's cologne. It was faint but rich, quietly alluring yet refined, just like Riku, and Sora found himself snuggling a bit closer to smell more of it.
His taller companion hesitated again, his green gaze flicking down to look at now tousled brown spikes. Sora's breath was warm against his neck, causing him to shiver a little, and he bit his lip and looked out and to the snow-covered trees framing the streets. A lump settled in his throat, hard and unyielding, and he wondered why. Was it because Sora's body was so warm, slender and molding easily to his side? He didn't know. But he still didn't pull away.
He wondered why he was letting his... friend... touch him like this. Why he was allowing him to be so close. Normally, he avoided such things, even talking to people, and yet Sora had somehow wormed into his life the day before and had completely rearranged it in a matter of hours. The thought of going back to his house now struck a chord of loneliness in his heart, and he let out a soft puff of breath, shaking his head a little. This was ridiculous, this was...
"You're thinking too hard again," came the brunette's soft whisper, causing Riku to frown slightly and glance back down at him. Blue eyes met his own, and Sora's fingers drifted up, curling into his coat at his shoulder. "What's going on in that mind of yours?" A smile traced his lips, sleepy almost, and definitely content.
He wondered indeed what he had been thinking about, and furrowed his brows, glancing out at the twinkling lights. His throat constricted, and he swallowed against the lump there. "...I was thinking that... you're different, Sora..." he murmured carefully.
"Different?" Sora hummed, resting his head against Riku's neck again. Riku found that he didn't mind it all that much this time. "...I'm not different. I'm just... me."
"Why did you want to help me?" Riku whispered. And then, even more softly, "Everyone always leaves me in some form or another..."
He wasn't expecting Sora to give a quiet giggle at his serious statement. "Well, you know where I work and where I live and even where I go every other night to hang out with little kids," he said, his voice a little muffled by Riku's coat. "If you want to find me, it won't be hard. I won't leave you as long as you're still interested in my help."
So it is just to help me...? Riku silently wondered. Somehow he had a feeling that Sora wasn't as personal with his other charitable outings, though. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. Wait—wishful thinking? What for?
Sora was staring up at him again, looking slightly amused. Riku met his eyes again, not stopping Sora when he reached up to press a finger to his furrowed brow. "You're doing it again," he teased.
Glancing away, Riku sighed, watching his breath disappear into the quickening snowfall. Sora's soft, damp hair brushed against his jaw as the man nuzzled into his neck again, cheek resting against his new scarf. Everything about Sora seemed to be warm and comforting, soft and... right. Like something velveteen.
"Brrr...! It's getting cold."
Sora's body gave a subtle shudder.
Riku paused, wetting his dry lips, and then, hesitantly, curled his arm around Sora's shoulders and pulled him even closer against his side. The brunette seemed surprised, at the very least, but he quickly adjusted, slipping his arms around his date's waist and humming softly in his throat. He murmured something that sounded like Riku's name, but the elder of the two wasn't quite sure. And what was this feeling twisting through his heart? Anxiety? Nervousness? ...Happiness? And it was all rolled into one.
"What if... I don't want you to help me," he said, arm tightening around his companion's shoulders.
"Riku?" Sora looked up again, his brows furrowing hard as a frown creased his lips.
"What if..." Riku's lips twitched, curling a little, and it hurt. He wondered when he was going to get used to the sensation. "...What if I... want your friendship?"
He watched as the worry left that peculiar shade of blue, a bright ray of hope replacing it with a lightening hue.
Sora snuggled close against Riku again, his fingers clenching into the older man's coat. He didn't say anything.
But then, he really didn't need to.
"Here it is!" Sora chirped, spreading his arms out to either side of him and giving a slow spin. "The clock tower. Pretty cool, huh?"
Riku nodded his head, venturing carefully out to where Sora was, not wanting his feet to find a patch of ice. Despite his usual grace, he always managed to slip on one whenever he went out. But... his friend seemed to be all right, teeth flashing in that all too familiar grin as he whirled and dashed over to an icy railing.
"C'mon, Riku!" the brunette called cheerfully. "You gotta see the town from up here! We're really high up!"
Trying to quell a wave of nausea twisting through his stomach at the thought, he made his way over to his friend, his hands gripping along the railing and feeling the ice begin to melt through his mittens. He didn't remove them, however, his eyes gazing out at the velvet snow blanketing the quiet, slumbering city. He smiled faintly to himself—it wasn't so bad now—and bowed his head.
Beside him, Sora took a deep, wintry breath, and slowly exhaled. A long stream of puffy whiteness trailed into the air, vanishing moments later. "I used to come here all the time... when I was still a kid."
"What stopped you?" Riku murmured, suddenly content to just watch the way Sora's lashes fluttered, slowly drooping closed as a lazy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. The flakes of snow that had landed on his warm skin were already melting away, leaving his cheeks glistening in the beams of moonlight pouring into the shaft of a window.
The younger man shrugged, lifting his face so that Riku could get the full effect of his smile. "...I just got busy, I guess. Mom and Dad had Rikku and Sion, and I was either always babysitting, working at a job, or doing schoolwork. I didn't have time for much else." His gaze returned to the glittering snow spreading out before them. "...I really missed it up here, though... I'm glad that you agreed to come up here with me tonight." Against your better judgment went unsaid.
But Sora leaned his elbows against the railing and rested his chin in his hands. Below, the cogs turned restlessly, grinding against one another as they fought to proclaim the time to their small town. It was peaceful in its own way, and it was something that Sora had relished in growing up in a house that was never tranquil enough for his tastes.
Of course, it was now, but back then, when he had been only a boy...
"Isn't it pretty, Riku?" he murmured, shifting his eyes to the starry sky above them. The snow had paused again, leaving everything washed in moonlight, a serene, calm air that one didn't get to experience often in the breezes that pushed against their wind-chapped cheeks.
Riku nodded, growing quiet as his brows furrowed in contemplation. Sora eyed him with a stern expression, wanting to smooth his brows back out, but decided to leave his friend alone. Giving a soft smile instead, he watched as a few stray gray clouds drifted over the pale moon. Judging by the others gathering against the distant horizon, it would be snowing again before daybreak.
They stood in companionable silence, comfortable with the atmosphere, and Sora shivered, pulling his coat more tightly around himself as Riku gazed at the lights warming the windows in the houses far below.
Images began to flit across Riku's mind. Images of laughter, of his father playing the piano as his mother opened her mouth and let the sound of absolutely beautiful Christmas carols ring out. The images rolled together in his thoughts, becoming mere broken pieces of memories. He could remember sitting in front of a huge Christmas tree, ripping open the paper of his presents so that his tiny hands could grasp at the toys beneath. And his parents... oh, his parents had looked at him with such love and adoration in their compassionate eyes...
He wondered why everything good in life had to change. He wondered if he would ever receive an answer to this question that he thought of most.
"I..." He swallowed as his whisper echoed in the silence between Sora and himself. The smaller of the two looked up, his blue eyes curious. It took a moment for Riku to continue, as he knew that his friend was watching him expectantly, but he finally managed to murmur, "I don't like Christmas because... I..." Something was burning at the back of his eyes, and he blinked against it furiously, not wanting Sora to see the tears glimmering there.
He bowed his head, bangs sliding forward over his eyes to hide them from view. He swallowed hard, his throat working, and his fingers clenched tighter about the railing. "Somewhere along the line it all... went so wrong, Sora..." he breathed. "We... We used to be so happy..." His lips curved into a smile that died seconds after it was born. "...Can you believe that, Sora? Me? Happy? With loving parents?"
Sora opened his mouth, but he found that no words would come out. He stared at his friend for a long moment, swallowing, and then shook his head and lowered his gaze.
"Father... He... He got trapped in all of his work... He didn't come home as much anymore... And Mother..." He gave a bitter laugh that sounded harsh in his throat and echoed off the secluded room's walls. "Oh, Mother... She grew so cold because of it... I guess it's because she missed him so much." He pulled his hands away from the railing, taking a step back as he stared down at them. He could feel his bottom lip trembling. "And somewhere during all of this I became a burden," he whispered weakly.
"Riku—"
"They stopped caring about me..." He lowered his hands, clenching them into hard fists at his sides, his teeth gritting as he tried to fight back the tears threatening to overwhelm him. But they slipped down his cool cheeks, trailing along his nose and dripping off his chin as it quivered.
"That's not true!" Sora whispered fiercely, eyes burning brightly as he placed a reassuring hand on Riku's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
The elder of the two glanced up, giving Sora a long look despite the tears staining his face. "Yes, it is, Sora. If they cared about me—like they used to—I wouldn't hate Christmas so much." His voice softened. "Things would be different now, and..." His gaze shifted back to the snow-covered town. "...Before I knew it, they weren't even home for Christmas anymore. Just my nana was, and we had never been close. I would..."
He trailed off as images danced before his mind's eye again. He was playing in the snow by himself, giggling, throwing the white flakes up into the air and trying to catch them on his tongue as they fell back towards the cold earth. He was spinning, arms spread out to either side of him, a wide grin on his lips.
He was bowing his head... arms lowering back to his sides... staring down at the snow beneath his feet sadly...
"I was always lonely..." Riku blinked slowly, and a last, lone tear trickled down his cheek. "I had no friends. My parents forgot about me. I was just their—their burden," he said with heavy finality, hearing it echo in his heart this time. He was painfully aware of Sora staring at him intently, and so he lifted his head and wiped at his face, sniffling and flashing a small grin at Sora that felt as unfamiliar as his earlier smiles on his lips. "Let's go back to my house."
Sora hesitated, and then he smiled, slowly, but surely. "Do you have hot cocoa?" he asked, reaching out to curl his fingers along Riku's forearm.
Riku nodded. "Yes."
"Yay, all right! To your house!" Sora pumping a fist into the air and dragged him off to the hidden staircase that would take them back outside.
From the moment Sora had set eyes on Riku, he had set him as the rich type, yes, but nothing could have prepared him for the beauty of Riku's large home when they finally got there. At first Sora hadn't believed it when the taxi stopped in front of the large gates. He had been thinking maybe the driver had gotten the directions wrong, but when Riku opened the door and stepped into the icy street, he realized that this was indeed where Riku lived.
The cold breeze stung his cheeks as he climbed out of the cab after Riku, never moving his eyes away from the elegant, vine-covered gates standing in front of them. He felt his eyes widen as Riku easily pushed open the steel structure and glanced back at him expectantly.
"Come on, it's getting late," Riku said quietly, fiddling with something in his coat pocket. Probably that gold watch again.
It was getting late. After all they had done together that day, Christmas Eve was finally nearing an end, and Sora was sad that such a great date was going to come to a close soon. But... Sora smiled to himself, thinking that, well, at least he still had some more time with Riku.
Tucking his hands into his coat, Sora gave the older man a pleased grin and brushed past him, passing through the gates into the front garden, which had a blanket of snow draped over it. Untouched snow, so unlike Sora's own yard and everyone else's. Here, it looked almost like white velvet, spread over everything, soft and delicate and pure. It was beautiful, but...
Lonely, somehow. It felt like a cemetery more than a home.
No wonder Riku always seemed so sad.
Sora glanced ahead, watching Riku's back as he climbed the steps to his home and paused on the porch to dig out his keys.
"Who's home?" Sora asked as he moved to stand beside the other man. He wasn't sure what to expect, really, because Riku hadn't mentioned any other family besides his parents, who weren't likely to be there.
"No one," was Riku's simple response as he slid his key into the lock. "That car is mine."
Sora blinked, turning to look at the driveway. Just one car sat there, already covered in a fine layer of snow. So Riku had walked everywhere yesterday and today, even though he had a car? Frowning, Sora glanced at Riku in confusion, wondering why he had done something like that.
Riku pushed open the door, a gust of warm air rushing out to greet them, making Sora shiver, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.
"D-Dark," Sora commented as he stared into the black hallway beyond the door. He rubbed his arms, looking at Riku expectantly. "But warm."
Riku glanced back at him, giving a small, warm smile, and then stepped into his house. "I'll get the lights..."
Something soft settled around Sora's heart, and it gave a happy flutter. He curled his fingers into his coat, smiling back even though Riku couldn't see his face now. Feeling slightly floaty, Sora trailed after him into the dark home, closing the door behind him. The lights came on to Sora's left, illuminating a portion of the large entryway, and he took a moment to admire the rich interior of Riku's home.
"So big," Sora breathed, awed. "And clean!"
And quiet. Really quiet.
"Yeah..." Riku agreed as he came back to the door where Sora was still standing. It was mostly dark here still, and Sora only saw his silhouette and some of his features. His green eyes glimmered in the dim light as he turned his gaze to Sora's. "You can leave your coat and stuff here."
Sora gave a small start when he felt Riku's hand on his arm. "Oh—yeah—" he managed to get out, his heart suddenly racing. He felt his cheeks warm and was thankful Riku couldn't see it. "Okay, thanks..."
Riku's hand slipped away, and, through the soft lighting, Sora could see him removing his scarf and coat, so Sora did his own, unable to stop the happy smile that found its way onto his face and stayed. Just being here like this with Riku, in his home, all alone... this late at night. It almost felt forbidden.
Letting that thought fill him with a little thrill, he set his stuff down and hurried along behind Riku.
"Is it okay if I explore the kitchen?" he asked. "So I can find the chocolate?"
Riku blinked over his shoulder, and then managed a faintly amused look and nodded. "Go right ahead," he replied, watching as Sora's eyes lit up. The younger man began to brush past him, cheeks still flushed from the cold.
"I'll just make myself at home, then!" he called, starting to leave the room.
"That hallway leads to the atrium," Riku calmly said. "The kitchen is to the right."
Sora froze. Turned around. Without even a shred of embarrassment, he flashed Riku a grin and headed down the right corridor, leaving Riku in the foyer alone.
Once he was gone, the silence was a little unsettling to Riku. Drawing his arms around himself, he slowly moved toward the dining room, letting the events from his day run through his mind, realizing that this empty house felt so different now that he knew what a real home looked like. Felt like. He'd had a touch of real Christmas, of real family... of comfort. This place felt like a tomb compared to that warmth.
It hadn't always been that way, but... before Sora, Riku couldn't remember the last time he had felt so welcome.
He slowly came to a stop in the dark dining room, standing before the tall window that looked out into the vast snow covered gardens. It was a like a sea of white, a stretch of soft, pale blanket over everything. A gentle snow drifted from the dark sky like tiny feathers.
Once upon a time, when he'd had no care in the world other than to love and be loved, Riku had spent hours as a child just having fun in the snow, playing alone and creating wacky stories to entertain himself. Back then, he had had no concept of time passing, other than the rise and fall of the sun and the different meals prepared for him.
Just like back then, today Riku hadn't even thought about the time. He couldn't remember glancing even once at his pocket watch when he had been with Sora. When he had been having fun with Sora.
Like warm fingers slipping over his heart, Riku felt it being seized and held by some foreign emotion—something that wasn't quite new, just buried, and it made him as comfortable as it did nervous.
What was it...?
"Ri-ku!" Sora exclaimed cheerfully as he rushed into the room, albeit carefully, trying not to trip over his own two feet as he held up steaming mugs of cocoa. It hadn't taken long to produce them—after rummaging around the pantry, he had found an unopened box hidden away behind some cans of food. And although Riku's cabinets had been full of beautiful kitchenware, it hadn't impressed him much. His mom's arsenal of kitchen utilities was far greater.
He blinked as he saw familiar flakes of white drifting down from the sky, and he giddily hurried over to the window, trying not to spill the scalding treat all over his hands. "It's snowing again! Wai!"
All that snow before him. It was glistening in the soft surreal moonlight peering through the clouds slowly drifting across it and begging to be ruined the next day. Except...
Sora's lips tugged into a little frown as realization wrenched softly at his heart. The realization that Riku probably wouldn't be playing in it. Or anyone else, for that matter.
The silver head slowly turned from the window, a faint smile gracing Riku's lips as he regarded the other man and the two blue mugs in his hands. With a slight flutter in his gut, Sora paused, his step faltering just a little as he watched Riku's eyes lock onto his.
It was just one of those moments that catches the heart—
And even though Sora had a lot to be thankful for in his life, and more fond memories than he could handle, this look, the look Riku was giving him...
It was really special.
It also made him out to be a fool. He felt like such a love-struck girl.
"Sora?"
Snapping out of his dazed stare, Sora beamed, pushing Riku's mug out. "Here! Careful, it's probably really hot."
The silver-haired man gratefully took the mug and allowed his smile to widen a little as he gazed at Sora. He looked away a second later, however, taking a careful sip of his cocoa, and the brunette couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
But what was he to be disappointed about? It was expected... right?
"Let's go into the living room where it's warm," Sora said softly, gazing down into the depths of the brown liquid swishing gently in his mug, and... a twinge of depression tugged at his heart.
Damn. Damn, damn, damn. He needed to be happy, not...
"It's a bit drafty in here," Sora continued, already turning away as he headed into the depths of the house. "And—we can light a fire or something." He beamed a bright smile over his shoulder, only to see his newfound friend gazing out the window again, holding his mug contemplatively, one hand pressed against the no-doubt cold glass.
"...Ri-ku?"
"Mmm..." Riku murmured, nodding, and dragged his gaze away from the glistening snow, haunting memories of throwing the fluff into the air fading out of his mind with a last string of giggles.
Their eyes met again, but this time Sora was the one to look away, a soft blush painting his cheeks as he moved to the living room nearby, hearing Riku's socked feet creak the wooden floor behind him as he followed.
Sora couldn't remember the last time he'd been in such a strange feeling atmosphere. He was used to family gatherings and time alone with his crazy friends, and he'd been through a few awkward dates, but this was so different.
Riku was so different.
...when Sora had first seen Riku at the café, he'd never imagined their relationship would go far beyond employee and patron, let alone this...
It still felt very unreal even now as he sat on the long, squishy couch, cradling his warm mug of hot chocolate. He watched Riku sit beside him, blue eyes bright with uncertainty, an interesting shade of red painting his cheeks when Riku lifted those dreamy green eyes and caught him staring.
"What is it?" his companion asked, reveling in the quiet that had settled once more over the house. For once, it seemed soothing, and he gazed down into his frothy treat, watching flecks of powdered chocolate swirl around the surface.
"O-Oh... nothing!" Beaming, although it felt a bit too forced on his lips, Sora, too, gazed down at his cocoa. His mind kept flitting back to the snow angels that they had made, and then the miniature snowball fight that had proceeded afterwards. And what could compare to the very real tremor of fear that flashed through Riku's eyes as he had carefully stepped out onto the ice, legs giving a dangerous wobble.
But most of all, he had liked the snuggling on the sleigh and the way that conversation had gone up in the clock tower. For one, Riku had let Sora be so close to him. He had even said that he wanted to be Sora's friend. And then, overlooking their quiet town, had come that quiet confession from his past. Riku had cried, too! Cried.
Sora felt so unbelievably happy that it was hard to suppress these feelings, but the anxiety storming around in his heart quickly chased it away. Just because Riku had opened up to him so much didn't mean anything. Granted, Riku had been a real scrooge when he had met him, and now he was open, so—well—more lively—and it hadn't even been a complete forty-eight hours yet.
I really like him... I really do hope that he meant what he said about us being friends... But as he thought of those tears glistening in the gentle moonlight, Riku's green eyes lost and so sad, he couldn't believe that they'd never see one another again once this night was over.
"Um..."
He blinked a few times, realizing he wanted to express his thoughts but wasn't sure how exactly to do so. Almost like... he was scared that Riku wouldn't feel the same way.
At his sound of hesitation, Riku did glance up, carefully lowering his mug. Sora tentatively lifted his gaze to meet Riku's, still searching for the right words to say.
But Sora's worry melted away when he noticed the soft line of foam on Riku's upper lip. Unable to hide the grin that pulled at his lips, Sora leaned in and started to reach out, whispering in a teasing tone, "Ri-ku has a moo-stash."
Riku's pale lashes fluttered against his cheeks as Sora's thumb brushed softly over his lip, wiping the foam away. The simple, innocent touch did wonders, curling warmth inside of Riku, comforting him and making him act without really thinking. His hand lifted, fingers circling Sora's wrist to keep him from pulling away.
The sudden gesture made both of them hesitate.
When Sora met his gaze again, Riku's green eyes had sharpened.
"There..." Sora breathed, a smile on his lips, but it trembled a little with his heart. In the two short days that he had known Riku, he had never seen those eyes so intense before. It was a bit mind-numbing, sending a low thrill shooting through him. "It's gone now... the... moo-stash..."
He's not releasing me, Sora realized as his heartbeat sped up, pounding hard against his ribcage. Was it just him, or had the gap between them suddenly begun to thin out? Yes, now it seemed that Riku's lips were hovering right above his own, the older man's thumb slipping a little on his wrist to rub against the soft skin there.
"Riku..." Sora whispered just before velveteen lips pressed against his own.
There was a long moment of silence, filled only by their uneven breathing, before Sora's eyes slipped closed and he tilted his head slightly, blindly setting his mug off to the side. He hesitantly reached out, fingers clasping onto Riku's forearm as their lips separated, eyes fluttering open at the same time. They gazed at one another for a heartbeat, pulses racing, unsure of what was happening but rather liking it, anyway, before their lips met again, this time with a soft wet noise.
He tastes like chocolate...
It was the last thing Sora thought before his emotions tumbled over him in a wave, and he drew closer to his friend, fingers tightening in their grip.
Riku's lips were so warm, so soft. They were also a bit chapped from the wind and the cold, but then, so were Sora's, and he didn't really mind it. It was an imperfection, and he took pride in the fact that he had been a cause of it.
He could hear his blood roaring in his ears, but after a few moments, even that was drowned out by the subtle shifting of Riku's fingers slipping into his hair, cupping the back of his neck and tilting it further backwards. Sora swallowed hard, his hand moving to Riku's chest, clenching his fingers in that rich fabric. The couch sunk beneath them as they moved, knees bumping together before settling comfortably, their clothes a whisper against the cushions.
Lips brushed again, timid and testing, Sora releasing a quiet sigh as his heart gave a pleasant flutter, liking the way his skin was tingling from just that subtle touch. Riku's fingers moved in his hair, curling in slightly in response to Sora's small, cute sound, and he moved in to complete the kiss again.
It was slow, shy but sweet, and exquisite. Dizzying.
Sora felt his mind spin as he parted his lips, feeling Riku's move against his like wet silk, eliciting definite little thrills inside of him. A tremor ran down his spine, his fist tightening in Riku's shirt, and a flash of excitement spiraled through him at the gentle touch of a warm tongue against his.
Real. This was real. It was—
Dong...
—midnight?
Dong... Dong...
The cogs of the grandfather clock whirred with their antiquated song, and just the sound of them seemed to startle Riku. He pulled out of the intimate exchange, eyes soft and unfocused, his lips glistening from the kiss.
Dong... Dong...
Sora drew in a long breath, trying to calm his happy heart. He knew he was blushing, but then... so was Riku.
Dong... Dong... Dong...
An awkward silence stretched between them, and Sora resisted the urge to lick his lips, wanting to taste more.
Dong... Dong...
Slowly, Riku lifted his gaze to meet Sora's...
Dong...
...and gave a faint, but genuine smile.
Dong.
"I guess... it's Christmas now," he said in a very quiet voice.
Sora found himself nodding in agreement, excitement filtering through him. "Happy Christmas," he managed to whisper without letting his racing heart make him stutter. Riku's reply was just as hushed, almost as if they were both afraid to break the tension.
"Merry Christmas, Sora."
The happy look that filled Sora's face at those words honestly struck Riku as gorgeous. He looked away, feeling himself smile again. He wasn't used to this, but... he liked it. It was also that part that terrified him.
The silence that spread between them then was awkward, and Sora shifted on the couch, this time giving into the urge to wet his lips. Riku's eyes happened to flit up then, catching the gesture, and Sora flushed and tore his gaze away. He wanted to kiss his friend again, but he wasn't sure how to go about it, or even if he should. It was already so late! He needed to get home before his mom called, be there for the morning when they wanted to open up presents—Rikku and Sion got up at the break of dawn, and Sora needed at least a few hours of sleep for that mayhem.
"Riku..." he whispered at the same time the other man murmured, "Sora..."
They looked at each other, and Sora giggled, tilting his head. A suspicious line of pink spread over the other's cheeks, and but then there was that soft smile, curling along his lips. It was so cute.
Riku leaned in again, touching his lips to Sora's briefly, and the brunette's lashes lowered. He didn't mind the fingers ghosting against his cheek, into his hair to stroke gently, or the warm gust of breath against his mouth.
"I got you a present," the silver-haired man whispered. "Do you want to open it now?"
Sora nodded, warmth curling in his stomach again, and brushed his lips in return against his friend's before turning and reaching for his hot cocoa. His fingers curled around the warm mug as Riku got to his feet, footsteps padding against the floor as he left the living room. His heart was still racing, he realized, and as he raised his cup to his lips, he noticed that his hands were trembling a little. Carefully taking a sip of his chocolate, he hoped he didn't look too eager about all of this. He didn't want to scare Riku away, knowing very well by now how introverted the man was...
Still... Sora was unable to hide the delighted smile that kept persisting. He grinned into the mug, glancing over the rim of the porcelain as Riku returned to the room, carrying a wrapped box. It was flat, square and thin, and looked like it could hold a small article of clothing. Inside, Sora was dancing with glee, hardly able to believe that Riku had actually gotten him something. And he must have gotten it earlier, before the date...
Their eyes met as Riku approached the sofa, looking slightly awkward as he sat back down, holding the package out. "I saw it and... it reminded me of you," Riku murmured, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck.
Excitement fluttering in his gut, Sora lowered his cocoa to the table and took the present, feeling like a ten-year-old as he happily slipped his fingers into the fold of the wrapping paper and began tearing.
"It's... nothing special," Riku continued. "I mean... I don't know you very well... things like—"
"My favorite food is pizza, with anchovies and olives, and my favorite color is blue, and my favorite thing to do in my spare time is jazz out to music," Sora rambled, fingers fiddling with tape. He stared at it for a moment as it clung to his finger, and he scowled, waving it around vigorously before Riku calmly extracted it for him. Sora grinned sheepishly. "Thanks..."
"You're welcome," Riku said softly.
Finally, with wrapping paper littered everywhere, Sora took the top of his box off and glanced down at the contents within. Beneath a few layers of white tissue paper with delicate silver snowflakes etched into them was a fluffy snow cap. With a pompom. The cap itself was a dark blue with white streaked through it in intricate designs, and the pompom was made of the same colors, goofy and cute.
A delighted grin spreading across his lips, Sora took the cap and placed it atop his head, turning to face his friend again. "How do I look?"
Riku lifted an eyebrow, studying the way Sora's messy hair stuck out from under the soft material, and the way the pompom lolled to the side as Sora moved his head, and he gave a small, amused smirk, reaching out to squish the pompom between two fingers.
"Very cute."
A soft giggle escaped Sora, who hoped he didn't seem too much like an idiot, knowing how dorky he must have looked. But Riku had called him cute, and that was well worth the embarrassment. Feeling his cheeks warm again, Sora lowered his face, still grinning. "I love it," he said, pressing a hand on top of it, feeling it flatten even more over his hair. He lifted his eyes after a moment, catching Riku's intent gaze. "Thanks, Riku. You didn't have to."
"I wanted to," Riku replied quietly. Glancing away, he seemed a little self-conscious, but he still managed a faint smile. "I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure."
Something about his tone bothered Sora, but he wasn't sure what it was. It felt almost... final?
"Um..." Sora hesitated, looking at his half full cup of cocoa, his happiness beginning to fade at the prospect of this perfect night ending. "I really had a lot of fun today. I mean... a lot... It was great."
"Me, too." Riku's voice was soft, distracted, and Sora followed his gaze to the grandfather clock. Its ticking settled in the air between them, only interrupted by the hoot of an owl outside.
"Listen..." And Sora set his mug down again, staring at his hands. His drew his fingers inwards towards his palm, examining them closely. "...I... Will we... see each other again?"
"Well, we live in the same town, don't we?"
"Yeah, but there's tons of people I only see once and never again." Sora swallowed, hard. "Riku, I... I don't like the thought of... never seeing you again..." An icy tendril raked through his heart at the very prospect, and he turned in his seat, the hat slipping off his spikes a little to settle against the side of his face. Green eyes shifted, met his own. "...I know that I hardly know you, but... I've had so much fun! You already mean so much to me. And... and my family, too! So please... I..." He trailed off, not knowing what to say. Please what? What could he possibly say or do to make... make Riku stay?
"I'm glad that you had fun, Sora," the older man whispered. "I... I'm just..." He sighed. "I'm not used to... being... cared about this way. I've always been abandoned."
"I won't abandon you," Sora said hurriedly, grasping onto Riku's hand, clasping it between his own. When the other man gave him a somewhat sad smile, he realized how hurried and eager he sounded, and he flushed faintly in the dark. "I... I like you... Riku..." he stammered. "I... I mean... I just don't want you to go," he finished lamely.
Riku stared at him for a long moment, as if taking this into consideration, and then finally shook his head. He sighed again, but this time it was soft, barely audible. "Sora... I... You really shouldn't... like me, I mean... I'm going to be gone for a while, and I really don't know when I'm going to see you again."
Eyes widening slightly, Sora whispered, "What?"
"I... My school. I'm transferring schools." Riku's fingers slowly withdrew from the smaller man's. "...I'm going to England for a year."
"O-Oh..." Feeling numb inside, and just a little stupid for confessing his feelings so easily like that, Sora stared at the grandfather clock. He watched the minute hand slowly click into place, let his eyes follow the golden pendulum in its glass case.
Tick, tock, tick, tock...
Time was ticking away, it seemed.
And so was his time with Riku.
The silence that stretched between them was thick with disappointment and regret, and when Riku broke it with his quiet voice, Sora's heart sank.
"I'm sorry."
It was honest. Sora could tell. Fighting back the sadness rising inside of him, he forced on a smile. It hurt. "It's okay," he managed to reply. "I had fun..." He paused, swallowing, still tasting chocolate and Riku, and he realized how silly he had been for being so hopeful. The feelings had seemed real enough, but... now he knew.
"So did I," Riku admitted.
When Sora heard how remorseful he sounded, he glanced at him. He was surprised to find what he did there on Riku's face. Raw emotion. Masks lowered again, even for just this one moment...
As simple as it was, it was enough for Sora.
He reached out, grasping Riku's hand in his own, and looked up at him, eyes bright. Determined. "When you get back, let's do this again. There's still so much I want to show you. So... after this England thing, come back and find me, okay?"
The older man hesitated, wetting his lips, and something flickered in his eyes, something unreadable. But then he let a faint, bemused smile cross his lips, so different from his earlier ones, and he gave a single nod. "Okay."
The town was silent as they rushed past in Riku's car, Christmas lights glimmering in a blur. Sora bit at his bottom lip, chewing worriedly, his fingers drumming a random tune against his armrest. There was the low hum of the BMW, filling the still air, warning any passing pedestrians to move out of the way, and fast. Sora couldn't help but suppress a smile at the thought and tilted his head back against the headrest.
He had meant what he had said. He would wait for Riku, it was just... he was sad. These past two days had been so wonderful! And now Riku was leaving? When, and how soon? All these questions and more rolled through his mind, but he couldn't come up with any answers. He supposed he could just ask his newly acquainted friend, but the thought made his stomach squeeze in discomfort. He was too afraid to broach the subject again—afraid of what Riku might tell him. What if he was leaving in a week, or worse, tomorrow?
But no, the new college semesters didn't start until January. But then... things were run differently in England, so who knew when his spring semester was going to start. His eyes burned at the accompanying images of Riku driving away to the airport, and he slumped down in his seat, wondering why he was so heartbroken. It wasn't like Riku and he had confessed their undying love for each other. No... they had just shared the most brilliant night together, and then such an exquisite kiss to end it. He should be happy. Not so miserable.
Beside him, Riku frowned, noticing his sudden quiet. He knew it was from the news that he had wrought on the smaller man, but... that bubble of happiness. It had turned out to be so very fragile, just as all bubbles were, and it made Riku guilty to know that he had been the harbinger of bad news.
He wasn't sure how to feel about the situation. He had never had someone care so intensely if he was leaving someplace or not. His teachers loved him for his grades, but that was it. He didn't have any friends at school, at home, anywhere—not until Sora—and the only thing his parents had to say for their influence of his life was a shredded Christmas card bare of any of the essentials of love.
His fingers tightened on the steering wheel, the thought of that flimsy check making him burn with anger all over again. Could he really bring Sora into his mess of a life? And would Sora really want to stay? He hadn't seemed to grasp the concept of how Riku's life was yet, naïve as he was. Naïve and so... happy. Riku was cold inside... Sora was the exact opposite. How could he compare to that? He couldn't. At all.
Wetting his lips, he glanced to Sora's slumped frame and felt something uneasy twist through his stomach. Was the brunette really serious? Would he wait a year? Somehow, Riku didn't think so. For one, they didn't even know each other well enough, and it was a year. But what bothered him the most was this tiny flicker of hope beneath the ice. And it was hope that he would.
The lights were off at the Shiozu house when they arrived, the BMW giving a grumble as Riku shut its engine off. It begin to tick, cooling in the frigid air, and then there was the sound of seatbelts unbuckling and slipping back into place against the doors. Sora climbed out of the car first, shutting his door carefully behind him, his boots crunching in the snow as he headed around the hood of the car to meet Riku halfway.
"So..." he said softly, fidgeting as Riku peered down at him, his hands in his coat pockets.
The porch light was on, illuminating the front walk and making the untouched snow of the small yard glimmer. Riku somehow knew that tomorrow morning would find Sora and his family outside, destroying the white blanket of ice to create snowmen and angels and the like. He'd only met Sora's family yesterday—actually, the day before, now—but it seemed like a family tradition they would do.
His heart felt heavy, knowing he'd probably never stand here on this porch again. Despite Sora's optimistic words about him returning in a year, Riku knew he couldn't make any promises. As romantic as the notion was, it was unlikely.
Letting that final thought fill him with regret, he faked a smile at Sora. He watched as the other man's blue eyes filled with faint hope, his rosy lips parting with a small grin, his breath visible in the orange glow of the street. Riku noticed that this grin didn't quite meet his eyes, not like the ones from earlier.
"So... this is it, then?" Sora prompted, sounding far more cheerful than he should have. He tilted his face upwards, glancing at the sky momentarily before returning his attention back to Riku, looking expectant. The pompom on his hat was drooping again.
"Yeah," Riku offered after a moment, reaching up to lower his scarf, uncovering his chin as he let out a sigh. He wanted to apologize again, or say something meaningful... But he didn't have a clue how to end this.
Thankfully, Sora did it for him. Casting a glance at his house, Sora curled a hand around Riku's arm, pulling him to the side of the BMW and out of sight of the front windows, where a silhouette was. Probably Sora's mother watching them. Riku was surprised she hadn't called them during their night out.
"She's such a snoop," Sora sighed, looking a little sheepish, lips pulling into a smile, small but genuine. He met Riku's eyes in that expectant way again. "I just wanted to say... thanks for everything," he said. "I kind of forced all of this on you, but it means a lot to me that you had fun too."
Riku opened his mouth to say something, but Sora cut him off before he could, pressing a mitten to his mouth and looking determined.
"Don't talk yet," he said, brow furrowing slightly, not removing his hand. "Just—don't forget to come back, okay? I'm not going anywhere."
Studying Sora's pleading look, Riku gave a small nod of his head, reaching up to take Sora's hand, pulling it away from his mouth. "Alright," he said, guilt nagging at him, because he wasn't sure... "I won't forget."
Sora smiled, wrapping his hand around Riku's, and then leaned up onto his tippie toes to press a soft kiss to Riku's lips. In that one moment, Riku felt his heart flutter again, like before back at his house, with Sora's warm mouth against his, breath tickling his hair...
And then Sora was pulling away, releasing his hand, and giving him a sad look as he turned away, tugging his new snow cap firmly over his hair as he quickly began to retreat to the front door.
There was no goodbye.
Riku watched as the door opened to welcome Sora home, saw Sora turn just slightly as if he wanted to look back—and he did, smiling back at Riku and giving a wave—and then he was gone, the door shutting behind him.
"Thank you..." Riku whispered, watching his breath trail through the air in a soft cloud before dispersing.
A sleepy quiet had settled over the cheerful atmosphere of the orphanage.
Swallowing, Riku shoved his hands deep into his coat pockets and turned slightly from where he was standing, his eyes flicking over the decorated room. Velvet stockings were lined over the mantelpiece of the large fireplace, filled to the brim with odds and ends, and he idly wondered where they had gotten the money for them before he realized that it was mostly all candy. A faint smile tracing his lips, he looked to the Christmas tree, where the matrons were setting out carefully wrapped presents.
One of the presents had glimmering snowflake foil, and Riku eyed it sadly, remembering the time that he had still believed in Santa Claus. All these children had no idea that he didn't exist... But then, maybe he did. At least, he seemed to exist in everyone that Riku had met over the past two days...
Seiya's excited gestures as she waved her spatula about. San's warm smile as he placed a hand on Riku's shoulder and gave it a fatherly squeeze. Cloud's quiet smirk as he applied eyeliner to his eyes, Sion's small arms clinging about his legs and not wanting to let him go, Rikku's mouth covered in rings of chocolate. Artemis's lecherous winks, Rairune's tentative smiles, Leon's gruff noncommittal grunts.
Sora's words searing through his heart and soul, enwrapped in such warmth that Riku was afraid to touch, lest it prove too delicate and break.
The Christmas spirit was everywhere, in the Shiozu home, in the small café with its cheerful, jingling bell, and now in this small orphanage that had noseless teddy bears and stray cats only wanting a bowl of milk and a scratch behind their ears.
He swallowed hard, feeling something like a lump settle in his throat. His home... his home was with these people he had met, that had turned his life around in just forty-eight hours. And it had all started with a frosty glass of milk and a plate of cookies, and that sweet, caring smile.
There was a sudden gasp, and he looked up to see Aerith there, her eyes widening in surprise and delight. She began to walk towards him, and he shifted uncomfortably, having been caught. His fingers found his golden pocket watch, idly stroking its case as her boots clicked along the linoleum floor.
"Riku, what a pleasant surprise. It's so late, though," she said in her breathy voice. "Is there something that you needed?"
"Tidus," he said, remembering the boy's watery smile. "Is he... Can I see him?"
Aerith tilted her head questioningly.
"I want to give him a present personally," Riku explained.
The matron hesitated, green eyes thoughtful. "I don't know... The children are sleeping, and we're setting out presents, as you can see..." But when she saw a shadow of disappointment flicker through his eyes, she smiled and nodded. "Sure, I'll go and get him up right now. If you'll follow me...? He should stay in his room." And she was already walking, leaving him no choice but to move after her.
He trailed his hand along the banister as he climbed the steps, watching the shadows grow around them as they entered a long hallway. The woman pressed a finger to her lips as she led him to a door at the far end, old floorboards creaking beneath Riku's heavy boots.
"Go inside," she whispered. "His is the second bed to the left."
Riku give a small nod, offering a hushed, "Thank you," before he quietly opened the door, stepping into the room.
The sound of soft breathing came to him, his eyes scanning the dark room, waiting a moment to adjust before he ventured further in. He moved past the first bed, pausing at the second one, something nervous twisting in his gut as he reached out, gently touching the shoulder of the sleeping figure. It took him a moment to rouse the slumbering child, but Tidus woke with a confused murmur, starting to sit up.
"Is Santa here yet?" he wondered in a tired voice, his hair sleep-mussed and sticking out in several directions, reminding Riku of Sora. Tidus rubbed at an eye, stifling a yawn as he looked up at the person hovering at his bedside. He squinted through the darkness, looking confused for a moment. "Mister Riku?"
"Yeah. Hey Tidus," he replied, giving a small smile as he kneeled, resting an arm on the mattress, lifting his eyes to Tidus. "I came to give you something."
Tidus blinked a few times, looking interested but still half asleep. "Is it Christmas yet?"
Riku nodded again, reaching into his coat pocket, feeling the familiar coolness of metal against his palm. He slowly pulled out his gold watch, the metallic sound of its chain echoing in the quiet room. Wetting his lips, hesitation filtering through him, he glanced from the watch's pale face to Tidus' expectant look. He thought back through the day's events, remembering Sora's laughter and warm touches, and how not once Riku had felt the need to check the time while he had been with the other man. As long as he could keep that comfort and happiness with him, he didn't need this damn watch.
Feeling more confident, he calmly reached out, setting the delicate antique in the small hand stretched out for him.
"This is yours," he whispered, curling the boy's fingers around it and then withdrawing his own. He felt only a tiny twinge of regret, but it was quickly smothered with the memory of Sora's blue eyes. "I don't... need it anymore."
"But you liked it so much," Tidus breathed in awe, the sleep beginning to clear from his eyes. He struggled to sit up more completely, blankets falling to his lap as he stared down at the golden pocket watch that had once belonged to Riku's grandfather. "...Mister Riku..." And then those eyes were watering with fierce tears. "Thank you!"
Warm arms abruptly enveloped him, and he peered down at soft blonde hair as a face was buried in his chest. It was like the day before, and just as awkward, but this time Riku managed to wrap his arms back around the child and soothe a comforting hand down his back.
They stayed like that for a while, Tidus clinging to the older man, Riku listening to the quiet snores of the child next to them. His fingers slipped into blonde hair, stroking comfortingly, and it wasn't long after that the boy began to drift back into sleep, his grip loosening on Riku. Smiling, he tucked Tidus back into bed, making sure that his chin and down was completely snug and safe. With a murmur of gratitude, he got to his feet, only to stop when that small hand clutched at his own.
Pausing, he peered down at Tidus, who was looking up at him with cloudy eyes. "Mister Riku, will I ever see you again...?"
"I hope so," Riku whispered, knowing that he meant it. "I... really hope so..."
And then Tidus' hand was releasing his own as the boy slipped his head back onto his pillow. With a dreamy smile crossing his lips, he closed his eyes and drifted back into the throes of slumber.
Riku eyed him a moment longer, making sure that he was truly asleep this time, before blinking the tears from his eyes and starting back to the door of the room. Aerith was waiting for him, something gentle in her eyes, and she touched Riku's shoulder briefly as he brushed past her.
"Thank you, Riku," she whispered. "You really mean a lot to him. He's talked nonstop about you since yesterday."
Smiling wistfully, Riku lowered his eyes to the floor and gave a single nod.
He found his way outside a few minutes later, Aerith giving him a warm good-bye and wishes for a merry Christmas, and then he was left to the blustering winds that had arisen since he had left Sora's house. It seemed that that storm front was rolling in again, sending snowflakes to dance through the air, and he looked up as they slowly found their way to land in his hair and on his clothes.
"Mrrow..."
Blinking, he turned to find a familiar tabby rubbing against his leg, arching and a purr echoing deep in its throat. He knelt beside it, soothing his fingers into soft hair, before other cold bodies began to edge out from behind their makeshift homes, meowing insistently at him.
"I wish I had a bowl of milk," he whispered, and he sat, not minding the icy stairs beneath him. But the kittens didn't seem to care, looking for only love and affection, and that scratch of Riku's fingers behind their ears.
"Meooow..."
And it was with a light heart that a smile found its way to light up Riku's eyes and curve the corners of his mouth.
Christmas saw heavy snowfall, keeping the entire family indoors, snug warm in pajamas and blankets as they entertained themselves with presents and silly stories over a large dinner, trying to keep spirits high, especially for the second eldest son whose heart didn't seem to be as into the holiday as it had been before Christmas Eve. No one asked questions. Everyone wondered.
Days drifted by without word, falling from one celebration into another, the midnight chime on New Year's acting like a catalyst for lunacy by throwing couples and strangers together, alcohol and kissing equally shared, the love for life dancing right into the next year and filling people with hope for a better start.
The new semester began, drawing children and college students groaning back into the classroom. Assignments were, well, assigned, and the cycle of life returned to normal, perfect memories never fading but taking a backseat to reality as routine became more important than fantasy.
Valentine's passed, bringing a cloud of love and depression and a horde of lovers and would-be lovers to a cozy little café, also bringing both money and frustration to the owner, who noticed an employee's distant gaze each time he studied new couples entering and leaving the shop hand in hand, lost in their own little worlds. That distant gaze? Longing. Envy. A wistful memory—something that could have been something more.
Snow melted into spring, and with the renaissance of green came the buzz of birds, bees, and teenagers flying south to beaches to have a good time on their break.
But there was a sole young adult left behind to stare up at passing gray clouds that foretold of rain, April's motherly hand replenishing its earth. What followed was a storm and screams of delight as the teenagers rushed back to their cars, jackets raised above their heads and umbrellas swinging at their sides, afraid to be thrust up into the air lest they get struck by ongoing lightning.
Spring's rains melted away into the river, which rolled into the ocean, spiraling back into the sky in the form of the lazy rolling of clouds. Summer breezes whispered through the green leaves of the trees, birds chirping and taking flight, coffee forgotten in favor of a nice cool glass of lemonade and sticky treats.
The fourth of July brought fire crackers to rain through the sky, while children gasped with awe and spun around in dizzy circles. Giggles were hushed beneath the thunder of crackers and the smell of barbeque, only to be muted as they were tucked into bed, air conditioners rattling with the need to chase the hot air away.
And slowly the smell of potato salad and burnt chicken faded into the smell of rain thick in the air, hair sticking up on end and a teenager twisting around on his bed, uncomfortable and trying to get away from the suffocating heat. Unpredictable spurts of rain and loud bursts of thunder kept him awake, along with a few of the other teenagers on his block, but the sound was only finally drowned out by the shrill call of his alarm clock.
Finally, the rain and humidity gave way to gentle breezes tugging at his clothes as he moved to school, cracked brown leaves rising from his presence and slipping past a café front. A bell jingled, bringing in the nippy air, the shivering of customers and the quiet gratitude as warm cups of coffee slid into their hands.
Halloween brought a horde of children and adult-sized children looking for fun, with the café owner even participating with a themed graveyard interior and matching revenant costumes, and the blonde-haired manager giving more tricks than treats as she chased the brats away with her silly string.
The chill of winter crept through the town, and the smell of cocoa and vanilla chased the scarves and coats adorning passersby. Familiar faces returned each day to the familiar cozy café with its familiar employees, and were sat in familiar seats and ordered familiar orders with familiar smiles of cold noses and eyes bright with the excitement of oncoming holidays. Another familiar was the routine.
And as the weeks passed, days grew shorter and gray clouds threatened the small town with a veil of snow. It came. And with the drifting feathers of ice also came memories of a lonely year already gone by, of a quiet rich stranger with emptiness in his eyes who had disappeared... Disappeared with a lingering half promise.
Thanksgiving was eventful with a full table and enough food to feed a small army. Seconds and dessert were served, china was cleaned, and the calendar was turned to the last seven columns of squares. Lights were strung from the rooftop, nearly taking the lives of the daredevils doing the decorating. At night, the twinkling of reds and greens could be seen from just beyond bedroom curtains.
The year was almost done. The wait had been long. Anticipation and dread warred within the one waiting, the one glancing continuously out the café windows, eyes searching the snowy streets for a flash of pale skin and silver hair and that thick black coat and those distant green eyes.
No one was coming... No, he would come. He never promised... but he said he would. It was just a dream... No—those feelings had been real. He must have forgotten by now... He must have. He must have...
Turning his back to the snowy street, he went back to his work, taking care of cold-fingered customers, emanating holiday cheer for all of them as if he truly felt it this year.
The door cracked open. In came a frigid gust of snow-chilled air, a colorful scarf dancing along the breeze into the café, reintroducing a weather-worn man to the warm, comforting atmosphere of mocha and French vanilla. Plastic icicles hung from the rafters this year, poinsettias and shimmering silver tinsel catching the newcomer's eyes as he moved into the shop. The jingle of the closing door alerted the two working employees—one reading a newspaper and lounging against the counter, and the other talking animatedly with him.
Without missing a beat, or even turning to glance at the new patron, the season greeting came, followed by the promise of being waited on in a minute.
Black trench coat swishing at his feet, the newcomer adjusted the soft scarf around his neck, lowering it from his cold nose as he moved to take the seat nearest the door. A remix of Jingle Bells came to him over the soft murmur of café customers around him, and his eyes turned to glance out the window, spotting a man and woman passing by, bundled up to fight the cold, their fingers still clasped.
A year, and yet nothing had changed.
The sudden clatter of porcelain on the table caught his attention, his heart missing a beat as he lowered hopeful green eyes, staring through silver bangs at a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies sitting before him. A tall glass of milk rested beside it, frosted and beginning to perspire.
Just like how he had remembered.
"It's kinda funny that such a crazy, hectic holiday can make everyone so happy."
Riku finally looked up, catching the warm smile that pulled at Sora's lips.
"Welcome home."