Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own me... anyone know where I can get the offical ownership paper thingy for Itachi?

Hello again! I'll bet you didn't expect me so soon, ha? But, I update fast, mostly because this is a fun story to write and I have a lot of time on my hands, seeing as its holidays. ... Anywho, please review after you read. I live for reviews, people!

Note: All thoughts are now italic - sorry it took so long for me to notice.

Chapter Four

It was only afterwards that Alex realized that she had to be Itachi in the bath as well. Which meant bathing with men. But that also meant… she'd get a birds eye view at…

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… the male change rooms! (A/N: Ha! I got you! Take that! You know you were thinking of a certain ninja's genitals!) Oh my god, she couldn't wait. This was also the perfect opportunity to get up close and personal with Sasuke for her master.

Personally, she couldn't stand Sasuke. He looked almost too good looking, and he didn't have the make-up that Itachi wore… and she was getting frustrated as to just how long she had to put up with the stupid teenager anyway. She wanted to get back to her beloved Itachi…

Still, she put these thoughts to the back of her mind as Sasuke put a 'new' rope around her neck, and tugged her in the direction with the others, who had finished their task while she'd been day dreaming. So now, it was off to the hot springs!

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"Uh… why do you have clothes on?" A confused Sasuke asked as Alex, still dressed like Itachi – and brushing all different kinds of pink – lowered herself into the steaming water. The other three boys, Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi were butt naked, and looking at Itachi with a confused expression. They took the redness of his face from the steam.

"Um… the thing is… that uh… I… I WANT TO SEE A BIRDY!" This was a quick, yet stupid save for her, considering she was about to say; "I'm a completely different gender from you."

"You can see birds after." Sasuke muttered, settling himself further into the water, watching as his brother fidgeted, his gaze going in any other direction. Well, he thought, at least I can say for sure that's he's straight… well… I hope he is, anyway.

"SAKURA-CHAN! Are you in yet?" Naruto asked, now perched on the side of the hot springs, trying to look into where he heard the splash of Sakura. Itachi had gone even redder at the backside of the blonde, and had turned around in the other direction, only to be faced with a drying off Kakashi. After a high pitched scream, Itachi fell back into the water.

Naruto grinned, turning back to look at Itachi, who's head was submerged in the water. "Now we know where your scream comes from, Sasuke!"

"Shut up!"

"Sasuke, aren't you going to save your lovely older brother?" Kakashi asked, his towel now positioned around his waist.

Sasuke sighed, contemplating for a moment whether he should save his Brother. Finally, sighing, Sasuke plucked the older Uchiha's head out of the water, dragged him to the side, jumped out, got his towel, put his towel around him, and dragged the extra heavy late teen into the male change rooms.

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Itachi bounced awake on his bed. He'd been having a pleasant afternoon nap, those were things that he could have now that Alex was completely out of the picture. Now, clutching his Sharingan patterned doona covers, he felt an odd aura around him. Almost like… Sasuke had just saved his double from death, by say… drowning…

Oh shit. Itachi thought, groaning at the thought. That would mean that Alex is being an idiot and not… not… being like me! Oh crap! Crap, crap, crap! I'm going to have to go and set her straight. Right. Now.

"Itachi-san!" There came a knock at his door, "You have your 3:00 appointment now!"

Okay. After the appointment.

"Then, remember, you're going to a; 'How to get the Homicidal Tendencies out of your system' workshop afterwards. And that goes for a week."

Okay. After that's over. I'll go set that stupid child straight. She can't cause that much damage in that time… right? I mean, it's not like she's trying to teach Sasuke how to use the Sharingan or anything is it? … Fuck. Itachi, you idiot, you just jinxed it!

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Wow. Another thought from my deep subconsciousness! Alex thought happily, humming the Aeroplane Jelly tune while walking next to Sasuke. I wonder how it is that they get the cream into cream rolls… Wow. My conscience must be having a party or something!

"Um… Nii-san…"

Alex blinked. Why was Sasuke calling her 'Nii-san' (Big Brother) for? He'd always called her; That gunk, or shit face, or Itachi, but never 'Nii-san' before. Weren't they lovers? Maybe that was a pet name or something. Yeah. That had to be it.

"What be it, Sasuke-pie!"

Sasuke's hands made fists. "How… many… times… have… I… told… you… not… to… call… me… that…"

"Once. Just then."

"Ah, right, yeah, anyway. I was wondering… do you really not remember doing 'It'?"

"Doing it?" Itachi asked, tilting his head to the side. That's when it hit her. Didn't doing "it" in man speak mean making love? Wow! Alex was so bright! Go her!

"The extermination."

Alex paused at this. So he wasn't talking about a man thing after all. Oh well.

"Sure do!"

"Oh…" Sasuke's eyes downcast. He'd been getting used to having this hyperactive Itachi around, and it had only been a day or so, but he was starting to feel attached to his older brother. However if he still remembers… Sasuke's thoughts were interrupted by Itachi.

"Yeah. The extermination guys took over three weeks to come! God, it was horrible waking up with cockroaches and ants in your bed, believe you me!"

"…"

Itachi had no idea what he was talking about. If Itachi hadn't forgotten, he would have known what Sasuke would have meant by 'It' by the tone he said it in. It was clear to him now, Itachi didn't have the faintest idea what he had done. He was just an insane mentally challenged teenager that had appeared on Sasuke's doorstep, not the insane homicidal maniac. A small smile appeared on Sasuke's face. He was going to get used to having this kind of Itachi around.

To be Continued.

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Omake One: Sasuke's Pink Feathered Diary.

So now, Sasuke had decided to drag Itachi to his team meeting with him. It had seemed the obvious thing, seeing as Itachi's hand had been lingering very close to the draw on his dresser that contained his embarrassingly pink feather covered diary, complete with pink feathered pen. He'd made a mental not to hide it later.

You ever wondered why and how Sasuke came to write in a humiliating pink diary? Well, a friend of mine did, (and she almost killed me for it) so I decided to make it an Omake chapter. If there's anything else in the story that you want me to make an Omake for, just tell me in your reviews, okay? Good o! In case you were wondering, none of these follow the manga/anime storylines.

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"Happy 13th Birthday, Sasuke!" Naruto screamed, waving from his post at the bridge at the Birthday Boy, who was covered in a thick layer of chocolate supplied by his many girl fans.

"…" Sasuke glared in Naruto's direction, and looked homicidally at him as he raced up, running his finger up Sasuke's arm, and tasting the chocolate that covered him.

"Wow. Sasuke, they made it themselves. You should try some."

"No."

"What's up your ass, Mr. Grumpy Butt?" Naruto asked, putting his hands on his hips in a mother imitation.

"Six ounces of chocolate." Sasuke replied. Naruto said nothing more.

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura called, running towards the two boys, stopping three feet from Sasuke, holding out a surprisingly nicely wrapped present. The paper wrapping was black, and it made Sasuke think that maybe she gave him something normal.

He sighed, but accepted the present. She was his team mate after all.

Oh yeah! Inner Sakura yelled, Beat that Ino! Yeah, you can't? I knew you couldn't!

She stopped gloating to herself when she saw Sasuke's reaction. He wore what looked to be horror, disgust, and annoyance on his face. "…"

"Isn't it lovely?"

Sasuke didn't hear her. He was too busy looking down at the diary that he'd been given. It was pink, covered with equally pink feathers. He opened it and found that the pages were pink too. But, perhaps, what he found most irritating was the fact that the pen was pink too, with pink feathers on the end, that actually had pink ink on it.

"So, what do you think?" Sakura asked, beaming.

"… Sakura… are you mad?"

Sakura was confused – but Inner Sakura wasn't. No way in the world was she confused. She pushed past the normal Sakura, taking charge of the body.

Sasuke took a step back, now faced with a very horrifyingly scary Sakura. "Use. It."

"Y-Yes ma'am."