Disclaimer: Don't own it, I'm still looking to buy Itachi rights though xDD
Two chapters in ONE DAY! My am I on a roll. Go me! Go me! Anywho, I made some decisions today.
One: This chapter gets into the 'real' storyline, not just Alex being an idiot.
Two: Sasuke will find out eventually. (I was planning to marry the pair to irritate a friend of mine, but I decided better of it. I can see her now with a Kitchen Knife saying "Kill... Kill...")
Three: The story probably won't go over 20,000 words in total. There's only so much you can make fun of Itachi and keep the story interesting, sorry guys.
So, I'll keep writing until I finish. I swear! And, sorry for the shortness of the chapter. Please remember to review after you read n.n
Note: All thoughts are now italic - sorry it took so long for me to notice.
Chapter Five
"Nii-san… Nii-san…" Sasuke said, prodding his drooling brother in the side of the head. Three days had past since Itachi had turned up 'randomly' on Sasuke's doorstep, and the pair were on relatively good terms – not including the attempted grabs at Sasuke's ass, that were made at the dinner table.
Slowly, Itachi opened his eyes, glancing up at Sasuke. "Wha-" Yawn –"t?"
"Will you teach me how to use the Sharingan properly?"
"Uh… sure."
What in the hell are Sharingan? Alex thought, processing the thought through her mind. I think Itachi-sama said something about it…
;-;-;-;-;
What Itachi said about it…
"Itachi-sama, why do you have such purdy eyes?"
"…" Itachi had given up trying to answer that question. Alex had asked it every night since she'd been found on the doorstep to Akatsuki Headquarters. Finally, he decided to give her a logical explanation. "They're called Sharingan, and only people born from the Uchiha Clan possess them. They're used to see through illusions, they can copy opponents Jutsu and can easily read an opponents moves."
Alex sat silently for a moment, tilted her head and said; "Itachi-sama, you didn't answer my question."
;-;-;-;-;
Oooooh, so that's what they are! And I actually have them? Well… uh… Itachi did make me go into that stupid pit of snakes looking like him to get the Sharingan to function… so I guess that it will work. The snakes only bit me though, they didn't teach me how to use them. … Better improvise. Library here I come!
"Uh, Sasuke-kun, lets train this afternoon, okay?"
"Okay, Nii-san."
Sasuke seemed to be showing a whole new side of himself to Alex, and it was a bit confusing, and it was also irritating to have a smaller version of you tug at your sleeve and point out the fact that you're not wearing any pants.
Still, Alex didn't mind. It just showed that Sasuke cared about her well being in her masters body, that, and walking around with no pants wasn't really becoming.
;-;-;-;-;
"Is that Itachi?"
"Is he reading?"
"SHIT! MY BOOKS FELL OVER!"
All these voices were heard, and most of them were about the oldest Uchiha, who was sitting at a table in the corner, reading as quickly as he could about blood traits of the citizens of Konoha. Funnily enough, the only thing that came up about the Uchiha's was the massacre.
God. Who would have thought that Itachi-sama would share a name with a homicidal maniac! Whoever this 'Itachi' is, who killed Sasuke-kun's family, man, they must be a real bastard. Alex thought, reading an article about it, I'm just so glad that my Itachi-sama isn't it.
;-;-;-;-;
Itachi had a cold spell down his spine. He could tell that there was something wrong. Looking up from his book, Thirteen ways to channel your homicidal energy into something more productive, Itachi sighed. Somewhere, Alex was belittling the name of Uchiha Itachi, probably turning him into a babbling idiot with cool hair. Ah shit.
;-;-;-;-;
"Okay, Sasuke? Ready for today's lesson?" Alex asked, trying to sound as positive as she could. This was sickly sweet, seeing as she was mimicking the way that Itachi spoke to her before going into a pit of snakes.
"Hai, Nii-chan!"
"Okay. Well, get into this stance." Itachi said, moving his legs apart and half squatting, pushing his arms out in front of him. Sasuke followed suit.
"How is this helping, Nii-chan?"
"It helps uh… relax and uh… binds muscles. Yeah, that's it. Now, focus really hard on the tree in front of you."
Sasuke concentrated, following what Itachi was doing, which was screwing up his eyes and making a very pained expression. So, Sasuke did the same.
The two boys looked like complete idiots for half an hour before Itachi decided that he'd had enough.
;-;-;-;-;
"A mission?" Sasuke and Itachi stated in unison. Both hands were on top of the desk, looking straight at Tsunade with an amazingly scared expression.
Man, they're brothers alright. What have they been practising? Synchronised Swimming or something? Tsunade twitched when she had a vision of Itachi in a pink bikini, physically shaking it free from her mind.
"Yes, we have a mission for you, Itachi, Sakura and Kakashi."
"What about Naruto?" Itachi asked hurriedly.
"He's left the village for a holiday."
"…"
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! I'm here on mission! I'm not supposed to be making side tracks. Wait… what was my mission again? Oh yeah! I'm supposed to be snuggling up with Sasuke. Funny how that hasn't happened yet. GOD DAMN IT BRAIN! GET BACK ON TARGET! Man, what am I going to do? There's no way I can get out of this mission. And when the people from Akatsuki see me… aw crap. Crap. Crap. Crap!
"…and that is the reason, so no buts Sasuke."
It appeared that while Alex was battling with her subconsciousness, Sasuke had been trying to fight Tsunade. He didn't want to go on a mission with his older brother… Itachi had a brain issue, for god sakes!
"Apparently," Tsunade said, deciding to finally give them the mission, "Somebody has decided to hold a 'How to get the Homicidal Tendencies out of your system' workshop…"
To be continued…
;-;-;-;-;
Omake 2: Itachi gets Mascara and thinks.
"Then, remember, you're going to a; 'How to get the Homicidal Tendencies out of your system' workshop afterwards. And that goes for a week."
Okay. After that's over. I'll go set that stupid child straight. She can't cause that much damage in that time… right? I mean, it's not like she's trying to teach Sasuke how to use the Sharingan or anything is it? … Fuck. Itachi, you idiot, you just jinxed it!
Yay! I had a suggestion about diary entrees. I decided to write it! Whooo! Go me! I'll also be putting in Itachi's classes. Anybody else got any ideas for a Itachi's teacher? I was going to make it Naruto, then I realised it wouldn't work oO; Suggestions are welcome! (A/N: Sorry... not true anymore - Don't kill me!)
;-;-;-;-;
Dear Diary.
I really shouldn't write "Dear" anything, because, like, its not my thing. Alex is finally out of my hair, and I guess I should be great full, but I can't get the image out of my head of her doing something bad with Sasuke, and looking like me!
Kisame fed me fish today. It tasted like Turkey, personally, but then again you can't trust a fish to cook fish. A good throw up is nice every once in a while though.
I signed myself up for a Workshop to channel my Homicidal Tendencies. I think it'll be good for me in the long run, I just hope I don't get put with some bastard who likes chopping things and brings a kitchen knife around with him wherever he goes. Yeah, I saw that bastard the other day. He looked like he wanted to rape me.
I jinx things a lot too. I have a feeling I'm jinxing a lot of Alex's actions while she's Sasuke. Horrible. Horrible. Stupid. Me! I'm sure it can't be all that bad though. I just hope Sasuke hasn't gotten to attached to her.
On a happier note though, I brought some more black mascara, but this time it's sparkly! I tried it on this afternoon, and it looks so pretty ! I flaunted it to Kisame this afternoon. He didn't really seem to care. You know the best thing, Diary? It came with sparkly BLACK nail polish! It looks pretty too. (I'm writing this with my writing hand while I wait for the other one to dry. I'm so multi-talented!)
Gah. Got to go, the hands finished drying. Time to put the new polish on my writing hand and show off to everybody
- Itachi