There's A Sucker Born Every Minute
By Leslina
Disclaimer: Naruto and all related enterprises ã Kishimoto Masashi, the Shueisha Publishing Co., Studio Pierrot, etc.
Written prior to the release of the Naruto Hiden Tou no Sho Official Character Data Book. Sequel to An Interesting Egg.
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"All right you brats lets get this over with, I have an important appointment this afternoon." Tsunade announced, folding her arms across her imposing bosom as she stood looming over the small trio of Genin hopefuls who looked up at her with a mixture of feigned disinterest, admiration and mild curiosity. "Ok, this is how this meeting is going to work, I'll tell you a little bit about me and you'll tell me a little bit about you. Your name, what you like, don't like, a goal for the future etc. Alright, I am the beautiful Tsunade and that's all you need to know. All right, Broken Nose, how about you start?""My name is Uchiha Kuzuki." The ten-year-old boy still sporting a splint across the bridge of his nose huffed. "I like training. I dislike girls… especially annoying ones." This last bit was emphasized by a sidelong look aimed at the girl seated in the middle to his left. "My goal is to become Chief Captain of the Konoha Police and bring honor to my clan."
My oh my, Tsunade sighed inwardly. He really is an Uchiha.
Shizune took her cue, flashing Kuzuki a hard glare before lowering her head demurely. "Um… my name is Shizune. I like pigs, because they're very smart and cute, unlike boys." She flashed another pointed glare at her Uchiha teammate."So I gather what your dislike is," Tsunade quipped. "And your goal?" The sannin arched an expectant brow, already knowing the girl's response.
"To become a Medic Ninja like Tsunade-sama!" The ten-year-old brunette piped determinedly.
"Keh! Brown noser," Kuzuki snorted.
"Jerk!"
"Hey!" Tsunade growled impatiently. The quarreling pair turned to attention once more.
"And you," Tsunade nodded towards the second boy that completed the trio. Unlike Kuzuki and Shizune, he was a little more withdrawn. An orphan like Shizune, except this one a result of the recent attack from Kyuubi. He had a bit of a problem adjusting after the death of his parents and became quite the class clown until Sarutobi Sandaime intervened. The boy feigned disinterest, but his eyes betrayed his eagerness for acknowledgment.
"My name is Umino Iruka." He murmured gruffly. "I like swimming and I dislike carrots. I don't really have a goal. I guess… I don't know… maybe I'll become a teacher?"
Kuzuki rolled his eyes impatiently. Shizune flashed him a friendly smile. "I think that's a very nice goal."
Iruka blushed, the corner of his mouth tipping lopsidedly before he turned his head away shyly and withdrew again.
"Heh, idiot." Kuzuki jeered, sticking out his tongue and pulling at the skin beneath his right eye with his pinky.
"Bastard!"
"Tch," Tsunade groaned cradling her forehead. This group was going to give her wrinkles.
"That's enough from the two of you." Hazel eyes narrowed darkly. "If you think this is the beginning of your ninja career—think again." A porcelain smooth hand reached inside her green yukata, producing a pair of shiny brass bells.
The instructor's lips curved in a cruel grin. "Now we'll find out if you brats really have what it takes to become ninja."
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Earlier
"You know old man, when I agreed to stay around I didn't think you'd actually assign me another team so soon." The kunoichi sighed with only mild annoyance as she plopped down on the chair opposite Sarutobi Sandaime. She poked a manicured nail through the revised volume of newly registered shinobi in front of her. "I'll admit that spunky brat you had me check out was amusing, but it'll be a few more years before she— huh…" The blond gasped. "That little brat couldn't have graduated already…"
"Hm?" Sandaime cocked an amused brow as he took a long drag from his pipe.
Twin blond brows twitched as hazel eyes perused the faces and information organized on the page. Her eyes paused and widened at the name written beneath the brunette Kunoichi of the Genin trio.
"What's this… it can't be… her last name is the same as—"
"Indeed," Sandaime exhaled a puff of smoke.
"But Dan said his little sister had died while she was still a Genin. She couldn't have been much older than this girl is now—"
"True," Sarutobi confirmed. "But Dan had a younger brother who was much older than Ran and already a Jounin who specialized in surveillance who was often away on assignment. He was Shizune's father. His name was Ken."
"Ken? Dan's younger brother…" She trailed, momentarily stunned. Why hadn't he ever mentioned he had a younger brother? Just how classified were his assignments? Did they involve…? Hazel eyes met brown.
"Hm."
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"There's no way we're gonna pass this test." Iruka lamented, as he plopped behind the boulder. "Only two of us can advance anyway!""Then we'll just have to change our tactics." Kuzuki muttered, recounting the kunai left in his holster and shuriken in his pouch.
"You know, I've heard some things about that woman. Scary things." Iruka added.
"Yeah, she drinks, she's loose with money and she has a gambling problem… what?" Kuzuki looked at Iruka. "I have a cousin that dated her one time. She's a walking—"
"Jeez…" Shizune groaned. "We need to focus guys!"
"Yeah, yeah." The boys sang in unison.
Iruka scratched at his topknot. "Damn, so how are we supposed to outwit a sannin? We're only Genin!"
"Not exactly," Shizune grimaced. Until they passed this trial, the three of them were still unranked academy graduates. "Kuzuki, wait." Shizune piped up her dark eyes large in contrast to her pale skin. "What did you just say about Tsunade-sama?"
Kuzuki grunted in mild annoyance at having to repeat himself. "What? That she drinks too much and gambles—"
"That's it! I remember father saying the same thing. Tsunade-sama is an incredible Medic Ninja, but her vices are her downfall."
"Yeah, so?" Kuzuki scoffed scratching at an ear. "What are you suggesting? That we open a gambling den in the middle of the forest…" The Uchiha trailed, realization setting in his features.
Iruka looked from Kuzuki to Shizune. "I don't get it."
"We'll explain." The two chimed dragging Iruka from behind the boulder.
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"Huh? What are those brats up to now?" Tsunade rose from her perch at the tree's base, dusting her rump."Tch." A scowl pinched her face. She wasn't kidding when she said earlier she had an appointment. The grand opening of the Yamaguchi all night casino just outside of town was at 6 and she had a special reservation.
These brats had more than enough time to finish this trial.
"All right you brats. Times up and my ass is tired of sitting around here waiting. Better luck next ye—hm? 'Uchi-Umi Lucky Den-Everybody Is A Winner'"
"Welcome young miss! Care to place a bet?" A perky blond in a pink kimono greeted Tsunade at the 'casino's' threshold.
The sannin expelled a longsuffering sigh. Fine, she'd amuse the brats. What did she have to lose?
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"Aw…" The blonde woman grumbled in frustration. "That's not fair.""Fair's fair Tsunade-sama. The second bell please."
"And it's the three of us, not just two." Kazuki groaned with reluctance.
"That's right." Shizune nodded. "It was Iruka-kun's idea to use genjutsu. We knew we had no chance of beating you in a fair fight so we regrouped and reassessed our opponent and most importantly we worked as a team to pull it off."
"Tch." The blond moped and folded her delicate arms across her chest. It was so elementary, so obvious, she should have seen right through it. The scheming brats, taking advantage of her like that.
Heh, I guess you're right old man, there are still a few sparks left in this village after all.
The three newly ranked Genin looked at one another.
"Why is she smiling like that?" Iruka whispered.
"I don't know, maybe she's pleased with us."
"Tch," Kazuki snorted. "Guess it's true what they say."
"What's that?" Shizune wondered aloud.
"Suckers." He nodded towards Tsunade still lost in thought. "There's one born every minute, and this one's Legendary."
owari