Summary: A mysterious stranger takes Edward Elric and deposits him in the DBZ world.
Disclaimer: (BritKit, it walks alone, Mordecai, Friend 1 and Friend 2 are sitting at a table)
Friend 1: (glare)
BritKit: (shrinks away)
Friend 1: Write the disclaimer already! I'll be right back. (leaves, dragging Friend 2 with her)
Friend 2: (realizes she is moving) Um.
All: (sweatdrop)
it walks alone: Methinks I am going to steal a dumdum.
Mordecai: Methinks I don't think.
IWA: Therefore you do not exist.
M: ...You're right! I don't!
Friend 1: (comes back) The wall jumped out and bit me!
Friend 2: It did! I witnessed it!
BK: Riiight.
M: (notices F2's binder) Hey it's a carebear! I have lots of carebears...
BK: o.o
IWA: O.o
BK: Movingon... (points to F1 and F2) You two need names.
F1: OK! Hmm... Howzabout FC?
IWA: What's it stand for?
M: freakinCRAZY!
freakinCRAZY: Perfect!
F2: What about me?
M: ...flyonthewall!
flyonthewall: ...Eh OK.
FC: (sings) I'm a fly on the wall, watching everything go by!
All except FC: o.O ...
FC: I like it! Muwah!
All: ...
FTW: That's gonna be my theme song!
FC: (sings louder) I'm a fly on the wall, watching everything go by... Zippity do dah! Zippity—
WHACK
FC: (dies)
IWA: (pets binder)
BK: ...Not gonna ask...
M: How do I Internet?
All: o.O
FC: (comes back to life) Rootbeer!
IWA: Whoopde freakin' wee-hah.
M: Ya know there's no time in space? Geometrically speaking, there's no timeframe based on the Sun.
All: ... (sweatdrop)
FTW: What if you were on the Sun?
M: You can't be on the Sun. You'd die.
FC: I gotta try that!
FC: I'm gonna go online and search for a one-way ticket to the Sun 'cause I won't be comin' back!
FTW: They're probably selling those on e-bay...
FC: Aflack.
BK: ON TO THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS THING!
IWA: Eh? Ohyeah... I don't own DBZ or FMA.
FC: What's FMA?
M: It's a proclamation that every word with a 'th' must be pronounced with an 'f'. Like Earf!
BK: (shoves M, FC, and FTW out of room) Do your stuff, IWA.
IWA: Right.
Review Responses:
Vyrexuviel: O.o ...Should I even listen to you?
WildfireDreams: Thank you!
SeaLover456: Well, not the part about dropping it down his coat... (cackles evilly) No, it's much more fun than that...
hellfire014: Yessir.
Firehedgehog: (grins back)
Suuki-Aldrea: O.o Are all your alternate personalities that violent?
"Speaking" Thoughts (Me to you) "Telephone or other such communication device"
Last time:
Gohan waved back, grabbed the back of Goten's gi (he'd been trying to sneak away) and left for the transmit room.
Chapter 11: MR. BUBBLES!
Ed and Al were walking through Capsule Corp, comparing notes and viewpoints on what happened over the past few weeks. They turned a corner.
"—AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Ed yelped and clapped his hands over his ears.
Someone was wailing. Obviously.
The two brothers, against all good judgment, continued down the hall. The infernal noise appeared to be coming from a room.
"Nii-san, isn't that the transmit room?"
Ed checked. "Yup." He reached over and opened the door. (Stupid Edo-kun!)
He immediately covered his ears and cringed.
Al stared into the room and started vibrating.
Goten was sitting in the middle of the floor, screaming, with waterfalls coming out of his eyes. Bulma was alternating between messing around with the machinery and yelling (or trying to) at Goten. Gohan was standing off to the side with his hands over his ears in a constant cringe. There was also a yellow goldfish on the transmit table in a plastic bag swimming around in circles.
Gohan noticed them and gestured (with his elbows, as his hands were busy plugging his ears) to the door. He walked around the growing puddle in the middle of the floor, through the door, and waited for the Elric brothers. Once they had come through the door, he closed it and led them down the hall. They turned the corner.
The wailing was suddenly cut off. Gohan sighed in relief and uncovered his aching ears.
"Sorry about Goten. He brought a goldfish home from the fair, and I suggested we use it to try sending something living between universes, and, well, he isn't taking it too well..."
Ed snorted. "Now that's an understatement."
Gohan winced. "Sorry. Anything else before we go deafen ourselves again?"
"Yeah. What happened to the sound?"
"Well, since people have been screaming a lot in there, Bulma invented a sound dampener. She set it up so that once you go around the corner, you can't hear anything."
"Thank God," Ed replied.
"Uhh... You really don't want to do that," Gohan advised nervously.
"Huh? Why?" Al asked, confused.
"Dende likes to torture people he knows. Aka, me."
"Oooohh."
"Yeah. Anything else?"
"No."
"Right. Let's go deafen ourselves again."
They all sighed. Ed and Gohan covered their ears, and then they all trooped back to the transmit room, wincing periodically.
They walked into the transmit room, and were immediately bombarded by Goten's (now intelligible) screaming.
"IT'S MY FISH IT'S MINEEEEE! WAAAAAHHHHH!"
Bulma, getting fed up with Goten's wailing, sent the fish through.
Goten immediately stopped crying and stared at the transmit table.
He sniffled.
His eyes started to water.
Gohan groaned. "Oh no..."
A few seconds later, Goten's eyes filled with tears.
"WAAAHHH MY FISHY'S GONE WAAAHHH!"
"I'm surprised something hasn't shattered yet," Ed muttered.
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Colonel Mustang was in his office sitting behind his (third—STILL!) desk, doing some paperwork, and reveling in the peace and quiet.
/plop/
He looked up. Sitting on top of his paper was a goldfish in a plastic bag, swimming in the fastest circles Mustang had ever seen.
There was a /ping/ and the TV came on.
"—AAAAHHH I WAN MY FISHY BACK AAHHHH!"
Mustang jumped.
First Lieutenant Hawkeye burst through the door, guns blazing.
Mustang ducked.
"WOULD SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP!"
On the screen, Ed leaped across the room, tackled Goten, and smacked his left hand over said chibi's mouth.
The screams are mercifully muffled.
"Thank you, Ed," Bulma sighed.
"No problem," the blond replied.
Bulma turned to the TV screen, looking haggard. "Did the fish—"
Goten pried Ed's hand off his mouth. "MR. BUBBLES!"
Ed re-clamped Goten's mouth shut.
"FINE! Did MR. BUBBLES get through alright?"
Mustang came out from behind a bookshelf. "He is unless Hawkeye shot him, but he was swimming in some of the fastest circles I've ever seen."
Riza was staring at the desk. "Umm... I didn't shoot the fish... but your desk is... uhh... sorta... totaled..."
Everyone turned.
The fish was frozen in its plastic bag on the only part of the Colonel's desk that didn't resemble Swiss cheese.
Mustang's eyes widened. "NOOOO MY DESK!"
Goten finally managed to pry Ed's hand off of his mouth again. "I WANNA SEE MR.—" Ed's auto-mail cut him off.
"I'm sorry, sir," Riza apologized.
Mustang was hugging what was left of his desk. "I had just gotten it organized..."
"The fish—" Riza began.
"MR. BUBBLES!" Goten yelled. Ed smacked his hand over the chibi's mouth yet again.
Riza twitched. "...Mr. Bubbles..." she shuddered, "appears to be alright..." she poked the bag and the fish started swimming in circles again, "...but he looks like he's on speed..."
Bulma frowned. "Well, I don't want to risk sending him twice. It might be shock. Keep him for a few days and if he doesn't get better, call a vet. We'll be in touch."
/click/
"Hawkeye."
Riza gulped. "Yessir."
"Your next assignment is to buy me a new desk, organize it, and get all my notes copied AND NO PAY FOR THIS!"
"Yessir."
"And next time, check before you start shooting."
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Later that day, they were all in the kitchen. Bulma was leaning against a counter, Gohan was leaning on the table, Ed was sitting at said table with his head resting on it, and Goten was also sitting at the table with a very very 'lost little puppy' look on his face, his eyes were red, and he was staring forward aimlessly. Vegeta and Al were MIA.
Chi-Chi came in and saw Goten. Her eyebrow shot up. "Okay, what happened?"
Goten's eyes started watering. He sniffled.
Everyone (except Chi-Chi) groaned. "Oh HELL no."
Goten started bawling. "THEYTOOKMRBUBBLESANDSENT'IMTOAL'SWORLDAN'THEYWON'SENDHIMBAA-ACK! WAAAAAHHHH!"
Everyone winced.
Ed started banging his head against the table.
Gohan and Bulma put their hands over their ears.
Chi-Chi did likewise.
Al vibrated past the door.
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Five minutes later:
"AAAAHHHHHH! I WANT MR. BUBBLES BAAACK!"
Ed leaped up and grabbed the front of Chi-Chi's top, begging. "MAKE HIM STOP!"
Al vibrated past the door in the other direction.
"Alright, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Chi-Chi yelled. She reached into a pocket and took out a roll of duct tape.
/rrrrk RIP/
/SMACK/
Goten blinked: there was a large piece of duct tape over his mouth.
/RIPRIPRIPRIPRIPRIP/
/tapetapetapetapetape/
A few seconds later, Goten had a half inch thick WALL of duct tape covering the lower half of his face.
"There. That should hold for a few hours," Chi-Chi proclaimed, satisfied.
/CLANG/
"Ow..." Al's voice echoed down the hallway. "Has he stopped yet?"
"Yes, thank DENDE. What is that stuff?" Ed replied, massaging his aching forehead.
"Duct tape," Chi-Chi answered. "Capable of holding the universe together."
"And my sanity," Ed muttered.
"I gotta get some of that..." Bulma plotted.
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Whoo-hoo! Funny, ne? Well, please let me know what you think. And please leave me a review on your way out.