Chapter Four: Storm, Ship, Lighthouse

Tsukushi walked silently by Hanazawa Rui's side. She glanced at him but he did not seem to want to speak. The silence was not awkward at all to her, in fact it seemed comforting compared to the incessant chatter that always filled the okiya. Finally he spoke up, "You're very quiet today."

Tsukushi looked at him and smiled, "That's a bit of surprise, considering you're not exactly Mr Conversational yourself."

He looked away, "You were more lively at the party."

"That's my job, to make clients happy. Now you're looking at the real Tsukushi Makino without her make-up. Strip away the mask and you get the real thing underneath," she looked at him and hesitated before continuing boldly, "If I'm not wrong, you, Hanazawa-san is hiding behind a mask too."

"You don't know me, so don't pretend you do," his reply was cutting.

Tsukushi was undeterred, "Maybe I don't. But everyone hides behind masks. We are part of this eternal masquerade where the masks come and go. Don't you think so?"

His expression was still one of calm but Tsukushi could see that his curiosity was piqued. He spoke up, "So who is the real Tsukushi Makino?"

She smiled, secretly happy that he wanted to know about her.

"Tsukushi Makino is a girl who until just recently wanted to live life like a routine, just going through her job as required of her. But, something happened that made her realise that it doesn't have to be this way. One thing she is sure is that once her parent's debts are repaid to the okiya, she will never return to being a geisha as the life is too restricting. In the meantime she is working hard to get out of her present situation," Tsukushi said in a determined voice while clenching her fists.

Hanazawa Rui appeared to be deep in thought at her words, "So what happened?"

"Huh?"

"What happened to make you change your mind?" he stopped and looked at her.

Tsukushi was paralysed for awhile. Those eyes, they had the power to make time lose all meaning. She could get lost in them forever. "It was those eyes that changed my life!" she felt like screaming at him.

"Ah.. that's a story for another day," she smiled at him instead.

"Anyway, sometimes I find ways to rebel against the okiya. Do you know when I was still attending school, we had to enter some activities. I lied and told them that I entered the flower arranging club but I joined something else instead," Tsukushi chuckled at the memory.

"What?" he asked.

"The basketball team! And I really enjoyed it too. They never found out. Too bad they made me stop school to concentrate on my career," Tsukushi's voice was tinged with regret. She looked at him who appeared to be contemplating something. She decided to take a risk and ask him something that had been bugging her.

"Hanazawa-san, do you like Shizuka-sempai?"

He looked at her and said coldly, "That is none of your business. I have to go now." He turned and walked away from her. Tsukushi looked at his retreating figure and felt the urge to call him back and apologize but she didn't, feeling that he needed to be alone. She felt slightly hurt, considering that she had opened up to him he in turn, had shut her out.

Yet she understood that some things could never be shared with others. She too, had chosen not to reveal her exact feelings about her parent's abandonment and how angry she really felt at the world. She was not ready to do that to anyone, not even Hanazawa Rui.

"I shall not press the matter again. He'll speak to me when he's ready," Tsukushi decided.

She watched him disappearing in the distance. A thought suddenly popped into her mind. She had been like a ship lost in the ocean, just a small speck in the vastness. Everything around her was dark and if she wasn't careful she could crash. But like a beacon of light, Hanazawa Rui had appeared to give her hope.

She had thought that everything was a lost cause until she met him that day. Through the simple act of giving her his handkerchief, she felt that someone recognised her existence. He had strengthened her resolve to live life the way she wanted it too. She did not know why he made her feel this way, but she liked it.

Tsukushi whispered, "Thank you, Hanazawa Rui. My lighthouse."

When she returned to the okiya, she was admonished gently by Shizuka, "Why were you late? Never mind. Anyway you have been booked for another dinner tomorrow night at the Eitoku Teahouse again by the F4 again. Looks like they liked you!"

"The F4?" Tsukushi's heart lurched at the thought of seeing Hanazawa Rui again.

"Yes, and this time I won't be going with you. But Sakurako and Yuki will. They have been booked as well," Shizuka said. "So do your best and remember to control your feelings about Tsukasa Domyouji."

Tsukushi nodded. She only hoped that she would have a chance to speak with Hanazawa Rui again.
The next night, Tsukushi found herself making her way to the teahouse with Yuki and Sakurako. She felt a mixture of nervousness and excitement. To her disappointment when she went into the room, Hanazawa Rui was missing. Only the other 3 was present. Sakurako made a beeline to Domyouji immediately. "Oh Domyouji-san!! Have some wine!" she practically fawned all over him.

Tsukushi frowned, she felt strangely disturbed at the two of them although for the life of her she could not fathom why. She attributed it to her frustration that Hanazawa Rui was not there. Yuki sat next to Soujirou so that left her to Akira. Sighing inwardly, she made her way to him.

"Tskushi-chan! My favourite geisha!" Akira grinned at her.

"I bet you say that to all the geishas," she smiled wryly.

"Well, not all.. just the older geikos. They have more charm."

Tsukushi was amused at Akira's antics and the two of them kept each other entertained through conversations on theatre and music. Surprisingly Akira was well versed in the arts.

"It's a requirement that comes with being one of the richest families in Japan. We are expected to know these things. They'll come in handy during business dealings where you can impress your clients with your knowledge," Akira explained.

"I see," Tsukushi poured more wine. "Ermm.. may I ask why Hanazawa-san is not here today?"

"Ah, I was waiting to see when you would ask that question!" Akira flashed a knowing grin at her. "Rui is probably at home sleeping. He does that a lot you know."

"Or maybe he didn't come because Shizuka-sempai isn't here.." she muttered softly to herself but it was loud enough for Akira to hear.

"Perhaps. We never know what Rui is thinking. He's a strange one. He used to be very withdrawn as a kid but Shizuka changed him. Did you know that they've known each other since childhood?"

Tsukushi was startled. That was completely different from what Shizuka had told her! "No..no I didn't.."

Akira continued, "Well Shizuka's mother was one of the helpers in the Hanazawa household. She came when Rui was about six years old. From what I know, her husband had just passed away and Shizuka was her only daughter. To earn a living she had to work for the Hanazawa's. So she went to stay with them, bringing along with her Shizuka."

"So Hanazawa-san and Shizuka-sempai are childhood friends!"

"Yes. Remember I said that Rui was a withdrawn child? Well Shizuka changed all that. She was a playmate to him and slowly drew Rui out of his shell. We all used to be friends with him too but he would only talk to us. Shizuka was the only one he would play and laugh with. But.." Akira shook his head. "Even that had to be taken away from him. Shizuka decided to leave to become a geisha a year later so as not to burden her mother. When Rui heard the news, he became withdrawn again. On the day Shizuka left, he locked himself in his room and would not come out. So Shizuka left without saying goodbye."

Akira paused and sipped his wine, "All those years I think Rui never got over it. Than he met her again while she was making her debut as a geisha. They finally talked to each other again that night. The two of them behave as if nothing had ever happened, but I know that the wounds from the past haven't yet healed. Now that Shizuka is a top geisha, it complicates matters more. She left Rui once. Will she leave him again? I don't know," Akira shrugged.

The two of them were silent for awhile. "So that's their story, both of them must be hurting so much, to have to pretend that they don't care," Tsukushi pondered silently with sadness.

She was jolted from her musings by Domyouji's booming voice, "Get away from me. You're such a nuisance!"

She looked up to see him trying to brush Sakurako away who was trying to cling on to him. Sakurako pouted and said in a whiny voice, "But Domyouji- san.."

Tsukushi rolled her eyes. Sakurako was such a wishy-washy person; it was surprising that Domyouji enjoyed had not flung her off him earlier.

"But than again, maybe he secretly enjoys all that attention!" Tsukushi fumed. It irritated her to see the two of them like that.

"Sakurako. Why don't you play for us something on the shamisen?" Tsukushi interrupted.

Sakurako glared at her for a second and turned her attention back to Domyouji. "What would you like me to play?" she asked sweetly.

"I want HER to play for me," he pointed to Tsukushi.

Sakurako huffed and said, "Tsukushi can't play the shamisen as well as me! I am one of the top students in class and.."

Domyouji yelled at her, "I want her to play for me, not you! What part of that do you not understand? And why are you attaching yourselves to me like a leash?"

"Ermm, Tsukasa. That should be a leech." Soujirou frowned. 'But than again, you can attach yourselves to a leash but that's only for dogs, so.."

"Shut up! Are you saying I'm a dog?" Domyouji's face was growing blacker by the minute.

"Ah.." Soujirou sweatdropped. "That's not what I meant.."

Afraid that things would get out of hand, Tsukushi jumped in quickly. "Its ok, I'll play the shamisen now for you Domyouji-san," she bowed and smiled at him.

"Well, hurry up than!" he huffed impatiently.

She had to keep herself from biting his head off and clenched her fists instead. This guy was like a raging storm, always threatening to throw her off balance.

Tsukushi went to the front of the room and looked at the different faces in the room. Soujirou and Akira looking at her expectantly. Sakurako sulking away. Yuki smiling and silently cheering her on while sneaking glances at Soujirou. Tsukasa staring at her intensely again.

She took a deep breath, picked up the shamisen and started playing.
Author's note: That's all for this chapter. More TT/RT next chapter. And to HYD fan, yup I admit that I was inspired by Memoirs of a Geisha and used some of its plot, such as Tsukushi's background and the coming war. But don't worry I'll definitely give it a HYD twist later on! Thanks to all the reviewers, keep the comments coming! Should the ship choose to get caught in the raging storm or should she head for the lighthouse?? And don't be mislead by the title, "Lighthouse by the Ocean" because it doesn't necessarily mean that this fic will be centered on Rui!