Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Harry Potter or any of these characters.
Summary: Hermione works through some of her feelings.

A/N: Thanks to chanteur dombre for the beta read!

"Don't judge me," Hermione said defensively.

She was sitting on a cosy charmed couch in the office of Mental-mediwizard Art Friedman who was her "life coach" (a.k.a. the man standing between her and a chasm that plunged off into barking mad). His face as he watched her was open, without bias.

"You should know I wouldn't do that. If you are feeling judged, it's more likely the culprit is in the mirror."

"The mirror in my flat could care less about my psychological well-being, it's busy picking apart my clothes and my hair," Hermione said in a frustrated tone.

"Amusing...I was being figurative though," Dr. Friedman explained.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead nodded in acquiescence. "I know I'm deceiving him, but I didn't honestly set out to do so in the first place."

"What did you set out to do," he asked.

"When I told Malfoy about Alex's play for me, I suppose I was trying to gage his reaction to the news. I didn't explicitly tell him and he didn't ask whether or not I'd accepted Alex's advances. It was just assumed. And when I saw how the news affected Malfoy, I didn't bother to correct that assumption. I'm an honest person, but something inside me screamed: 'this is your chance.'" She paused, absently twirling a finger through one of her curls.

Dr. Friedman gave her a moment then urged her on with his eyes.

She continued. "I never really had a 'plan' as Pansy and Mitchell crudely inferred. All I knew was that Malfoy had never looked at me like…that…until he thought another wizard wanted me. Right or wrong, I could not let go of that look in his eyes. Not just because it was Malfoy, but because the truth is, nobody has ever looked at me like that."

"What about Mr. Triblehorn, why did you turn him down? I thought you were interested."

"I was," she blushed. "He's actually lovely and I thought I really wanted him."

"And?"

"When presented with the opportunity of getting him I realized I wanted someone else," she put her head down. "Bet you can guess who."

"So why didn't you tell Mr. Malfoy that you'd turned down another man because of him?"

"I didn't trust it," Hermione admitted.

"Didn't trust your own feelings, or Mr. Malfoy's?"

"Mine...his...I guess both." Her hair was now coiled tightly around one finger and she was pulling it taut. "It's just that Malfoy and I have this really difficult past."

"Yes, I know," he said sympathetically. "But it is in the past. We're talking about your present. And future."

Hermione stared off at a spot on the hideous paisley carpet on the floor, lost in her thoughts for a moment. She had spent many hours in therapy, discussing Draco Malfoy. She wondered if Dr. Friedman suspected her feelings for the blond had developed and grown stronger even before she'd admitted them.

"Do we need to pull out the Pensieve again and work through this?"

"There's no need to swim around in memories of my volatile history with Malfoy." In fact she shuddered at the thought. She preferred the Muggle way of dealing with the past versus having to relive it through a Pensieve. "He was just a spoiled little prat in school, believing what he was taught because that's all he knew."

"That's a matter of discussion between Mr. Malfoy and his Mental-mediwizard," he said in a matter-of-fact manner. "What's more important for you to consider is whether your feelings are based on being his saviour, which you've alluded to."

She looked serious and said, "I didn't save him, but I did support him when he made the choice to save himself. I don't think I'm afraid of what he was anymore. I think maybe I'm just scared that I'm drawn to him because it's so improbable."

"Like with Mr. Potter?"

Hermione always felt like she'd been hit in the gut when she recalled her feelings for Harry, even though they'd been strictly platonic for years. And he'd never known. "I've just always had a habit of wanting what I can't have. Or turning down wizards that actually wanted me, like Alex - and Ron, when I was younger. I mean, one of the main reasons Ron and I ever got involved was because I was jealous. When I didn't think he wanted me I was game. Once it was clear that he was mine all along I cut him loose."

"Do you worry that jealousy is the only motivation for Mr. Malfoy now?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "When I look at him and then at myself, I wonder why he'd want me."

He gave her a warm smile. "Why wouldn't he want you?"

"I'm difficult," she groaned.

"Ms. Granger, I must say that you don't give yourself enough credit. Mr. Malfoy is likely asking himself why you would want him." He looked her sternly in the eye and continued, "You're an exceptional witch. Perhaps it isn't every wizard or man that will recognize or appreciate you, but it isn't about attracting everyone, just the right one."

She snorted with laughter, "Dr. Friedman, did you just rent "Good Will Hunting" or something like that? You sound like one of those cinema shrinks."

He looked confused for a moment. "That's a Muggle reference?"

"Yes, never mind."

"I know you're just trying to deflect from the issue," he stated. "Mr. Malfoy was right about you."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't know how to take a compliment."

"But Malfoy doesn't compliment me, he insults me," she insisted.

"And that's how he deflects the issue," he said. "But the two of you can't run circles around each other forever."

"I guess not," she said weakly. "But we're so good at it."

"You want my advice?"

Hermione just laughed.

"Ah right, that's why you come here," he said. "Well Ms. Granger, you have to make your own choices, I can only give you a nudge now and then. I can't make you take this chance, but perhaps it's worth finding out whether your circles with Mr. Malfoy can meet? Perhaps it's time to be honest with yourself and with him."

"Argh, you make it sound easy." She looked at him, pleading, "I don't get it. With magic we can do all these amazing things and yet when it comes to love we're as helpless as Muggles." She quickly turned away from Dr. Friedman when she realized exactly what she'd just said. Love? She'd prefer a good hex.

"Yes well, love is one of the few bits of magic that Muggles experience." He seemed wistful. "And as I'm sure your friend Mr. Potter can tell you, it is more powerful than any other - and maybe that's why it's so difficult to understand or control. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, though."

She sighed. "I guess I better break up with my fake boyfriend."

"That would be a good start."