Ah, doing something different now. This is A:TRA The Random Adventures. There will be some chapters like this, some chapters spoofing episodes in random order and whatever I feel like doing.
I do not accept reviews that correct me on my grammar and spelling for this story. They are intentional. Also culture references, since this is a conversation about saying things on stuff we don't know a whole lot of.
Some jokes are from different shows, like Fushigi Yugi and I did add a bit more to one of Red November's jokes. I don't take credit for those. I do hope you enjoy this! Don't forget to R/R!
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar and any related characters, places, and so on. They belong to the 'wonderful' staff at Nickelodeon.
Avatar: The Random Adventures!
Narrator/Author: We join Aang, Katara, and Sokka eating in a small restaurant in the small town of Hanshin. A town that is north of the Great Divide.
Sokka (drooling over a piece of trout): Oh boy! When was the last time I had a nicely cooked trout as lovely as this?
Katara: Since February 12. (eats a fresh cherry nut) Hey, that was the day we found Aang!
Aang: Hey you're right! Boy, it feels like it has been forever since then. I can hardly remember it at all (mutters) Damn Nick execs.
Sokka: Aang, how come you don't eat meat? Was it because there was so little in the mountains?
Aang: Uhh...not really for that reason. It's just that since I am the Avatar and have lived so many past lives, I know that people can be reincarnated into animals as well. By eating meat, I am eating those I was related to or knew in my past life.
Sokka (holds trout up and flashes it in Aang's face): So who does this trout remind you of?
Aang: Uhh...your mother?
(Sokka gasps loudly and drops the trout in Aang's plate)
Sokka: You tryin' to start something?
Aang (reaching for a banana): Nah, I just realized she's Katara's mother too.
Sokka: So, it's okay as long as it's just my mother and no one else's? That's just great.
(Aang takes a bite out of the banana only to have a disgusted look on his face.)
Katara: Aang, is something wrong?
Aang (forcifully swallows): It was just the dark part of a banana. That's all.
Sokka: Say, if banana's can bruise, does that mean they can bleed?
Katara+AangKataang: o.O
Sokka: No, seriously! A bruise is due to internal bleeding! I learned that in training!
Katara: I think you're thinking of an apple. Banana's just rot, but apples do bruise when they fall from the trees.
Sokka: So, if apples can bruise, then they must have blood, right? And they also contain water which is the essence of life, right?
Katara: I...guess...
Aang: What is the point of this?
Katara: Yeah, Sokka. Please tell us what this is about.
Sokka: If Aang refuses to eat meat because of the reincarnation thing, than why should plants be any different if they need water to live? Like animals and humans.
Katara: Aang, is it possible for people to reincarnate as plants?
(Aang stands up from his seat.)
Katara: Aang?
Aang: There is something that I have to do. (leaves the restaurant)
Katara+Sokka: o.o
Narrator: And now, we take a moment to see a determined young man with a keen sight on the goal at hand.
Cabbage Man: Ahh, finally. I believe we have finally found the city where I can finally run a nice, smooth business. Had no luck in Omashu and the king was no help. The harbor with those pirates was even worse! But not this time! No. Now my children, we shall finally have a happier life. Right my little cabbage patch...kids? Heh heheheheh!
(Passerbys stop and stare at the merchant)
Cabbage Man: THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE HERE! (Everyone quickly leaves) People these days. (Someone approaches the cart) Welcome to--NOT YOU AGAIN!
(Aang reaches his hands out and raises a cabbage up to his chest, giving a gentle hug. The Cabbage Man is in awe)
Aang: I apologize for the cruelty I have given to you and your kind. For all I know, you could be Monk Gyatso.
(Cabbage Man goes into a high state of bliss)
Cabbage Man: You aren't going to knock over my stand again, are you?
Aang: Why would I do that?
Narrator: Then, at that moment an object flew through the air, knocking over the cart of cabbages. It was Sokka's boomerang. My god, of all the dumb things to do Sokka! You couldn't just walk over and tapped him lightly on the shoulder! Oh noooo! That's like Zuko committing arson just to tell Iroh to choose between Curry Soba or Curry Udon! Which he did...I just forgot to tape it...Go Jetara!(slowly backs away)
Cabbage Man: MY CABBAGES! YOU AGAIN!
Sokka: Aang, run!
Narrator: Our friends run through the city streets to find safety from the rabid Cabbage Man.
Sokka (panting): Aang, the next time you leave us, make sure you don't run into that guy.
Aang (glares): Sure. I'll make sure that I won't throw my boomerang when we are in the same area.
Katara: Hey, it's starting to get kind of late. We should head back to where Appa is.
Aang: Yeah, he must be hungry! Good thing I didn't give let go of this cabbage.
Katara: -- Did you get anything for Momo?
Aang:...sure.
Katara: Huh...Not my problem.
Sokka: Hey, you know what I just thought of.
Aang+Katara (groaning): What is it?
Sokka: If the Venus de Milo was found in Greece, then how come it isn't called Aphrodite de Milo? You know, since Venus is the Roman name of the goddess.
Katara: Sokka, just wha--
Aang: You're right! That doesn't make any sense at all.
Katara: Eh? Aang, don't encour--
Sokka: And you know how there is "The Beast" and the "Son of the Beast" roller coasters at Kings Island? Well, just what is "The Beastie" to the whole family? Didn't he use to be the son of the beast and now isn't!
(Aang is the only one in deep thought.)
Katara (getting into it): Actually, I think it's the dog.
Aang: That sounds about right. C'mere Beastie! Here boy! ….Nah!
Sokka: And you know how the god's supposedly frown upon incestuous relations upon humans? Then why is it okay for them?
Katara+Aang: Yeah
Katara (realizes what Sokka said): Wait...what?
Sokka: Well, Zeus did Hera who was his older sister you, got the Osiris/Isis/Seth triangle, and others that I just don't know enough about. Yet, they frown upon brother and sister getting it on!
Katara: o.o (starts to slowly back away)
Sokka: I can sleep with my cousin as much as I want and not have the rapture fall upon the earth, yet if they can screw their sister than why can't I?
(Katara is now going in a full sprint back to the city. Aang is the only one who notices.)
Sokka: And how come I haven't had my shirt taken off in an episode?
Aang: Uh…Sokka…Katara just—
Sokka: I mean we've seen you, Zuko, Zhao, King Bumi. Do you believe some people want a smut written with him and Katara?
Aang: ……………I……I………NO! YOU LIE!
Sokka: Nope.
Aang: But….he's my friend! He wouldn't do that to me!
Sokka: People change. Besides, you guys aren't even a couple. So, how can he betray you?
Aang: You mean….you okay with that?
Sokka: Hey, it's not like people want to write her sleeping with Zuko or something. Eheheheheheheh…..eheh….
(Majority of the fans of the show begin to blush and whistle Yankee Doodle)
Sokka: Continuing. And that old guy who is always with Zuko! Hell, he was practically nekkid! But me! No, I'm the one getting the shaft!
Aang: Man, you get a lot of unfair treatment from the creators.
Sokka: They say I'm supposed to liven up at only certain moments. I'm just a low-key character.
Aang: R-really?
Sokka: Well, at least they originally considered me as such. Now I'm just comic relief. ……………So, what were you saying again?
Aang: Katara ran back to the city.
Sokka: What? Why did she do that?
Aang: To learn more about her future hubby from Aunt Wu?
Sokka: What's with the question mark?
Aang: That's my only guess.
Sokka: Oh.
Aang: Should we go find her?
Sokka: We can after I've done something first.
Aang: What's that?
Sokka: Sue who made Shadows of the Colossus!
Aang: Why would you want to do something like that? That game rawks! ……………………Bakawk!
Sokka: o.O Because I am still stuck on the eighth colossus.
Aang: That means you suck, Sokka.
Sokka: It doesn't when you become invisible every time you try to stab it!
Aang: Oh, a reoccurring glitch? Is that why you want to sue?
Sokka: The horse sucks, too. The camera controls are so sucky with it and it's hard to control him. Plus, there is that friggin' stren—
Narrator: Sorry, Sokka. We have to cut back to your sister.
Sokka: She's just taking a piss. Besides, I'm not finished ranting.
Narrator: Oh yes, you are.
Sokka: Fine! Narrators these days. They don't appreciate burnt rice.
Narrator: Anyways, with Katara, she reaches only the entrance gate to the village of Hanshin. We catch her now trying to catch her breath.
Katara: Finally, gone from that pervert. Better lay low before they go search for me. Luckily it will be awhile, since Sokka has to sue Ueda. What could go wrong?
Man's Voice: I can think of quite a few things.
Katara: Shit! (knocked unconscious)
Narrator: When Katara came to, she opened her eyes to darkness.
Katara's Mental Process (KMP): Oh no, I've gone blind (squirms) and I'm paralyzed! Can that happen when you get hit in the back of the head? I guess so since the occipital lobe is in the back of the brain, but that doesn't explain my--
Man's Voice: So, you're awake.
Katara: Rufio, you're alive?
Man: …Someone take that blindfold off of her!
(Blindfold is removed. Katara looks at her surroundings to notice that she is tied to a tree)
Katara: Oh…you again…
Zuko: Now that you are awake. I want you to tell me where the Avatar is.
Katara: For the last time, I would rather make love to a 8 ft tall spike, have it impale me through my—
Zuko: Okay, okay. I understand you don't like me!
Katara: But that doesn't stop you now does it?
Zuko: Nope, and it never will. Now, I need the Avatar to restore something I've lost. My honor. And if you tell me where he is, I'll give you back something you've lost. (Holds out Katara's necklace for her to see)
Katara: You took that off when you knocked me out, didn't you? Well, I hate to break it to ya, Zuko, but I'm not telling you where Aang is.
Zuko: Then you leave me no choice. I'll be taking you hostage on my ship in hopes of capturing the Avatar with you as my bait. However, you will sleep in my room, sharing my incredibly small futon that we've seen in the show and falling madly in love with the emo that I am.
Katara: o.o
(Iroh (yes he's there) whispers something in Zuko's ear.)
Zuko: Oh, I forgot that you will have my baby.
Katara: OO You want to head to your left until you run into a fork. Then you go to your right, you'll reach a lake, keep going to your right until you meet the second trail to your left. Just over the hill and through the woods is where Aang is.
Zuko: …I was kinda hoping you still wouldn't tell me.
Katara: We all can't get what we want, now can we?
Zuko: Gosh, you're like that one woman I hired. The cunt, she never paid for my ship.
Iroh: Uh…Zuko. You said "gosh".
Zuko: IT WAS TO GET RID OF THE FANGIRLS, OKAY!
Iroh: …And one other thing.
Zuko: What?
Iroh: Jun never left. In fact, she is right next to me.
Jun: 'Sup. (glares)
Zuko: Hello. I didn't notice you since you were always mounting that Xierxu, Shirshu, Shushu, (koff) freak-of-nature (koff) of yours.
Jun: Well if someone's girlfriend didn't scare him off, I'd be having the time of my life.
KMP: What's with all the innuendos? And I am so not his girlfriend…at least, not in front of Aang and Sokka.
Boy's Voice: Let Katara go!
Narrator: Zuko and crew look up into the sky to see a boy on a glider fly down. It was Captain Aang! Along with his sidekick, Momo Iro! Together, they knocked out Zuko with their terrifying air kick (WHAP!). Throw silver coins far into the forest to get rid of Jun (Bling-Bling) And perform a tea ceremony to defeat the Former General Iroh (Itadakimasu…Machigatteimasu ka?).
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Katara: Aang!
Aang: Katara!
Momo: Pikachu!
The End!