Mango Ice Cream
By JewWitch
Summary: A different ending for "Two Ships"…after watching that ep, I was a bit overcome, and this just came out. Ever notice how Abby is the only one who really sees Neela as a whole person-- not just a brain, or a ball buster, or a sweet, innocent little girl who needs to be protected? It just seemed to lend itself well to this type of ending…
Rating: PG-13
Almost a full minute after the gurney carrying the injured ambulance driver had been wheeled away, the entire staff of the ER still stood staring at Neela in shock. Of course, they all respected her for her frightening intellect, not to mention her sometimes fiery temper; and she'd certainly proved her mettle before. They all had, at one time or another. But this? Performing emergency surgery single-handed in the middle of the street, moments after she'd been pulled from a burning building? Clemente's appreciative parting statement still hung in the air: You've got cojones. Big, brass ones. And they look good on ya!
They might've all stood there gaping at her for even longer if Abby hadn't appeared, giving them all a quick, admonishing glare, angry that they were all too busy being impressed by Neela to notice she was in acute respiratory distress. Swooping in and gently taking the shaking girl's face in her hands, Abby gave her a reassuring grin before tilting her head back and gently pressing on her lymph nodes.
"I'm fine," Neela wheezed weakly, her expression slightly glazed. It was hard to tell, as her eyes were so dark, but Abby was fairly sure her pupils were dilated.
"Yeah, you sound great," Abby agreed dryly while guiding her friend lightly toward a gurney. Neela barely seemed to be listening; she still had the same distant, unfocused look in her eyes, and she was rocking back and forth in her seat with her arms wrapped around herself.
"Hey," Abby said gently, taking Neela's soot-covered chin in her hand, struck suddenly by just how young her friend was, and how far from home. "You're okay now, Neela…it's over. You were amazing, you know." Neela shook her head, still trembling.
"Today was so…scary," she said, finally looking up at Abby, who was now listening to her heart. "I mean, it was just me out there…no labs, no cut-down trays, no nurses, nothing. It was-- it was just-- incredible. I felt so powerful." Abby was still looking into Neela's dark eyes with concern etched on her face, as she pressed the stethoscope lightly to the other girl's back. "Maybe it's just the adrenalin, but…I feel high. You know? I need to go back out there."
"You're not going anywhere except upstairs, cowgirl. You need a chest x-ray."
"I'm fine," Neela insisted again with a wave of her shaky hand, as Abby forced a breathing tube into her mouth.
"Neela, you're not fine. You're in shock. You could have pulmonary parenchymal damage, or hypoxemia, or bacterial pneumonia! You need to be monitored." Neela shook her head.
"I've been on for sixteen hours," she said hollowly. "I need to go home."
"C'mon, let me take you upstairs," Abby coaxed, laying a comforting hand on her friend's back and rubbing lightly between her shoulder blades. "You can sleep through the tests."
"I need to be in my own bed," Neela said stubbornly, pushing herself off the gurney on shaky legs.
"Then I'll come and sleep on your couch," Abby countered with equal determination.
"That's not necessary." Neela coughed, bending forward with her hands on her knees.
"Yes it is, you wanker!" Abby's use of one of her own London slang words, combined with the forcefulness of her tone, caught Neela's attention; it seemed to penetrate the daze she was in. She looked at Abby in shock for a moment. "Who made you think you had to be made of steel?" Abby added softly.
"All right, then," Neela sighed. Abby smiled. Then Neela smacked her hand to her forehead and groaned. "Oh, bollocks…I completely forgot, it's Ray's practice night. My apartment's going to be party central." She coughed again, and this time she leaned into the supportive arm Abby was offering her without a fight.
"C'mon, tough girl…I'll take you back to my place, okay?" Neela nodded. Abby left her sitting in the hallway with the breathing tube, which Neela reluctantly held. In the few short minutes it took her to collect both their things from the doctors' lounge, she could see that the shell-shocked young woman's hands had finally stopped shaking. She smiled encouragingly when those large brown eyes looked up at her.
"All set?" Abby asked, helping Neela into her jacket, and tucking back a lock of hair that had fallen into her eyes.
"Abby? Neela asked tentatively.
"Mmhmm?" Abby answered distractedly, putting on her coat.
"Thanks." Abby looked up, and they smiled at each other.
"Anytime, sweetie." As the adrenalin that had carried her through the night's events drained away, Neela began to feel limp, as if all her bones had turned to some kind of soft gummi-candy, of the sort that American children were always eating. Her exhaustion overriding her usual prideful streak of independence, she allowed herself to lean heavily on Abby, letting her head fall onto her taller friend's shoulder. Abby wound her arm protectively around Neela's slight waist, deliberately avoiding thinking about how good it felt when her shirt rode up a bit, and Abby's fingers came into unexpectedly intimate contact with Neela's warm, soft skin. This exersize in non-thought was cut short by a quiet yawn from Neela as they slowly made their way to the street, where Abby had already decided she'd call a taxi. No way was she putting Neela through an EL ride in this condition. Behind the admitting desk, Morris stood watching them go with a large, goofy smirk on his face, which remained until Sam smacked him upside the head.
"Ow!" He whined. "Sam, what the hell?"
"You're a pig, Morris," she said flatly. "For god's sake, Neela just got the crap burned out of her lungs, and you're stocking up on wet dreams. Why don't you go do something useful around here?"
"Okay, jeez," Morris mumbled, rubbing the back of his head indignantly. Once he'd gone, Sam looked back toward the exit, a knowing grin creeping onto her face.
By the time they arrived at Abby's apartment, Neela was practically asleep on her feet, her eyes open just a crack, and her head still lolling on Abby's shoulder. She wasn't paying particular attention to where she was going, trusting Abby to lead her. It wasn't until she found herself sitting on the edge of the large bed that she took stock of her surroundings.
"What are we doing in here, then?" Neela murmured, rubbing her eyes groggily. Her voice came out rough, and a bit stuffy, which Abby thought made her sound like a sleepy child.
"Do you really think I'd make you take the couch, after the day you've just had?" Abby chuckled, shaking her head as she leaned down and began unlacing Neela's shoes.
"No, Abby, you don't have to…" Neela began, with a slow shake of her head.
"Yes I do," Abby said firmly. "Anyway, I won't be sleeping; somebody's gotta keep an eye on you." She smirked, and gave Neela a small wink. She got a faint smile in return.
"Could you…that is, if it weren't any trouble…" Neela bit her lip hesitantly. Abby merely cocked her eyebrow, giving her friend her patented spit-it-out-already look. "Would you mind, 'not sleeping' in here? With me? I'd-- I'd rather not be alone tonight." Abby couldn't help but smile, a wide, easy, genuine smile, at the vulnerability in Neela's voice, and the knowledge that she, Abby, had the power to ease it. She found herself with the same strange sense of pride she always seemed to feel whenever Neela fell apart, not that she did it often; she just liked the fact that she was the one this world-conquering girl chose to show her rawness.
"It's not any trouble," Abby said softly.
"I need a shower," Neela said suddenly, trying to stand up.
"Whoa." Abby pushed her back down easily. "I'm not loving that idea right now…unless you want me in there with you, holding you up." She said this last part teasingly, hoping her friend was too out of it to notice the blush coloring her cheeks. Neela, for her part, woke up a bit more as Abby's innocent statement caused her own face to heat up, momentarily thankful that her skin was too dark to show a blush. Unfortunately, Abby chose that moment to press a cool hand to her cheek.
"You know, I think you might have a fever," Abby said worriedly, moving her hand to Neela's forehead, then gently sifting her fingers through her friend's messy black hair. "I shouldn't have taken you out of the hospital," she added guiltily.
"Don't be stupid, I was leaving with you or without you," Neela reminded her, slightly more awake now and enjoying the sudden abundance of physical affection. "Without you, I'd probably have fallen asleep on the EL…and, well, I imagine I've a bit of a hobo look at the moment," she grinned shyly, rubbing her hand across her face and leaving a smudge of black soot across the bridge of her nose. "What's the wager I'd end up in police custody, hey?" They looked at each other, and burst into giggles. Neela coughed a bit more, but it wasn't the desperate, wheezy cough she'd had a few hours ago; now she just sounded as if she had a bad cold.
"I've got an idea, okay?" Abby said, getting up from the bed. "Don't move." Neela nodded, leaning back against the pillows, feeling only slightly guilty about the hickory-smoked odor she was leaving all over Abby's bed; she knew Abby well enough by now to know that she didn't put up with anything she didn't want to put up with. It was one of the things she mostly deeply admired in her friend, along with her profound compassion, which she always seemed to hold onto without any sense of martyrdom, and her ability to navigate conflict without resorting to direct confrontation. It really was amazing, Neela thought, the way Abby always seemed able to assess what was needed in any given situation, without letting her emotions dictate knee-jerk reactions; but at the same time, she didn't deny the emotions. It was all there in her eyes, which Neela had made a habit of studying, especially in tense or difficult moments-- which, in the ER, were many. While other people's expressions said oh shit or what are we going to do now, Abby's eyes held this quiet serenity…there was an ocean there, vast, big enough to contain the pain, the confusion, the helplessness…but above all, the grace. Neela felt that Abby may well be the only person she'd ever know who really let things be exactly what they are. Most people tried to force things to be what they wanted them to be.
Neela was still daydreaming about all the things she loved about Abby, when the woman in question returned with a large metal basin in her hands, and a hand towel draped over her arm. Neela raised one eyebrow questioningly.
"This is the closest thing to a shower you're gonna get tonight," Abby shrugged, sitting back down and placing the basin of steaming water on the bedside table next to her. "Tomorrow you can run up the water bill all you want, okay?" Neela nodded, her mouth going suddenly dry as she watched Abby dip the cloth into the hot water, then wring it out. "Close your eyes," she said gently. Neela immediately complied. A moment later, the most wonderful sensations were coursing through her body, as Abby began tenderly wiping the soot from her face.
"Ohhh…bloody hell, that feels good," Neela sighed, leaning unconsciously into Abby's touch, eyes still closed.
"That's the idea," Abby grinned. They both lapsed into silence, enjoying each other's presence and the excuse for continued physical contact.
"Will you do my back?" Neela asked quietly, both of them pretending not to notice the way her voice cracked.
"Sure…okay," Abby agreed, putting the damp cloth aside to help the younger woman pull off her soot-stained shirt, leaving her in just her bra. The more Abby told herself not to stare, the more impossible it was. Even covered in sooty grime, Neela was achingly beautiful; even more so because she genuinely didn't seem to know it. It was an aspect of her innocence that charmed Abby the most, providing a window into her parochial prep school childhood; the earnest innocence of intelligence taken for granted.
"Something wrong?" Neela asked when Abby remained motionless, opening her eyes lazily.
"Nu-uh," Abby mumbled with a quick shake of her head, retrieving the cloth and soaking it again in the hot water while Neela laid down on her stomach, giving Abby an unhindered view of her smooth, if soot-smudged back. Starting at the nape of her neck, Abby gently wiped away the sooty marks the fire had left behind, suddenly filled with gratitude to whatever higher power might be out there that the quietly sighing girl below her hadn't been seriously hurt; or worse. She swallowed back the tears that threatened to well up behind her eyes, delicately lifting Neela's satin bra straps with two fingers to run the damp cloth underneath. Then, impulsively, she leaned down and kissed the nape of the younger girl's neck.
"All done," she murmured, tasting the smoky flavor left on her friend's skin, combined with her own ever-present scent; a sweet, fresh, girly smell, with an edge of some sort of spice-- nutmeg, perhaps, or cinnamon.
"Thanks," Neela mumbled huskily, sitting up with her shirt held against her chest, suddenly shy. Then her stomach growled loudly, breaking the awkward moment.
"Neela, how long has it been since you've eaten anything?"
"Oh, Abby, please don't make me, I can't even think about it," Neela whimpered pitifully, a childishly petulant edge to her voice. "I can barely swallow as it is."
"Not even mango ice cream?" Abby asked innocently.
"You've got mango ice cream?" Neela repeated disbelievingly.
"Uh-huh," Abby grinned. "From that Indian market you took me to, on the way to your place once. Remember?"
"But you didn't even like it," Neela frowned, confusion evident in her eyes.
"Says who?"
"Says you!" Neela chuckled. "You said, and I quote: this tastes like frozen ass."
"Oh…right. I might've said that." Abby blushed a little, and this time Neela did notice. "The truth is, I got it for you." For a moment they both just sat there smiling at each other.
"Thanks," Neela said quietly.
"So you'll have some?" Neela nodded. "Great," Abby said happily, rising from the bed. Neela put out a hand, quickly pulling her back.
"Abby?" She said softly. Abby said nothing, but looked at her with wide, trusting eyes. A strange, bold sensation stole over Neela, and she leaned forward and took Abby's face in her hands, gently stroking her cheeks, moving slowly enough to give Abby the chance to pull away if she wanted to. But she didn't. Neela moved in close enough to feel the warmth of Abby's breath on her lips, closing her eyes as their foreheads touched. Finally, their lips met in the softest, gentlest kiss either of them had ever known. Neela sucked Abby's lower lip into her mouth and Abby let her, both her hands winding around to hold the trembling girl by the small of her back, torn momentarily between the warm dip of Neela's spine, and the wet adoration of her teeth scraping over Abby's lip. When they finally pulled apart, Neela leaned her forehead back against Abby's with a sigh of contentment.
"You sure you're not still in shock?" Abby asked playfully, and Neela laughed, then began coughing again, leaning over the side of the bed so she wouldn't cough on Abby. Abby rubbed her back soothingly, and, when the coughing subsided, leaned down and kissed Neela's temple, rubbing her nose in silky black hair.
"Let's not rush this, okay?" Abby murmured, her fingers still grazing lightly over Neela's bare back. "We've got all the time in the world…and right now, you need to take it easy, babe." Neela blushed.
"Okay," she agreed shyly.
"So how about I get you that ice cream now…and in the morning, if you're not feeling any better, we're going straight back to the hospital, no ifs, ands or buts."
"And if I am feeling better?" Neela asked coyly, looking up impishly from beneath long lashes.
"Then we'll see about that shower," Abby grinned.