Note: Yay! Another multi-chapter fic from yours truly! -grin- Okay, actually, I consider this just an uber long one-shot divided into five parts. Yes, this is already completely typed and done and what-not on my hard-drive, just waiting patiently to be posted to the masses. And it's only five parts long.
Prepare your tissues. Yes, this fic is sad, depressing, and all that slow jazz. I consider the theory that you truly don't appreciate a pairing if you can't write about the negative aspects of relationships and what-not. You'll see what I mean as you read on.
In spite of its saddness, I still hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I am not Yoshinobu Akita-senpai. And YoshinobuAkita-senpai is not me. The laws of nature themselves can confirm it. He's a he...and I am, well, a she. At least, I -think- I'm a she. I -hope- I'm a she.
But I'm still not Yoshinobu Akita-senpai.
Warnings: Just be wary of language. Oh, and spoilers for the first and second seasons if you squint really, really hard.
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Anywhere But Nowhere
Part I
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"I love you."
"Do you?"
"Yes."
"Heh…that's a drastic thing to say, don't you think?"
"You can't tell me you don't care!"
"And what if I don't?"
Pause.
"You care! I know you care!"
"Really? Tell me one time where I actually displayed feelings for you."
"All those times when you helped me--"
"I was just doing what I was supposed to do. You were so hell-bent on being my partner. Well, that's what partners do. And nothing more than that."
"But I love you! I love you!"
Nothing…
"Cleao! Cleao, are you almost ready?"
Blue eyes snapped open the moment the voice came through the closed door of her bedroom, shoving her back into the grips of reality. She was shocked to see that her face was streaked with tears. Well, it shouldn't have come as a surprise, considering the quality of the roadwork down Memory Lane. Still, if the rest of her family were to see her distressed like this, even after so long, awkward questions would be asked. Awkward questions she could not afford to answer.
"Almost!" Cleao called back to her waiting sister. They had a formal to attend to tonight, and instead of preparing herself in her usual enthusiasm when it came to such elaborate events, she was unconsciously sobbing her eyes out over that jerk!
That jerk she had, in spite of herself and everything she thought she had believed, fallen in love with. That same jerk who rejected her so heartlessly. She supposed she had been right in becoming angry with him. And she had been angry. Furious even. Consumed with a rage she had no idea she was capable of possessing. She left him then. Only, unlike their usual fights, she did not return. She went straight home, to Totokanta, despite the two week travel and the fact she was all alone. Even her pet Deep Dragon, while Leki proved to be an excellent bodyguard, did nothing to salve over the gaping wounds he had stabbed into her again and again and again over the years.
At first, she had figured he felt the same way as she also tended to knife him with her own sharp words. Then he proved to her he was incapable of feeling anything.
Majic returned to Totokanta a few days after Cleao did. He was alone. His master had ditched him, or he had ditched his master, shortly after it had become apparent that Cleao was not ever going to come back. She expected the young apprentice to be upset about the splitting of the group like that, but Majic hardly acted like anything was out of the ordinary. Perhaps it was time that they had broken up. The trio had been traveling together for well over three years. It was only a matter of time before something like this would happen. Majic even announced going back to the Tower of Fang. This time, to stay there.
Master was gone. They had to move on now.
However, eight months later found Cleao standing before her dresser mirror with tears in her eyes and stiffening her face proving that she had not been able to move on at all. And why should she? Cleao had only been hopelessly in love with Orphen. Everything she did, she did for him. She completely and fully devoted herself to him. Her heart and soul she bared, his for the taking.
Only he didn't take them.
Didn't even acknowledge them.
Didn't acknowledge her.
"I love you."
"Do you?"
She could still see that cruel expression on his face, lips curled into a sneer, as plainly as though it was his reflection in the mirror instead of hers.
"CLEAO!" The door burst open as Mariabella ran inside, violently alarmed from the sound of shattering glass that had come from her sister's room. She found Cleao on her knees, surrounded by the glittering shards reflecting the evening sun that poured from the window. A music box lay open on top of the dresser, a tiny carousal rotating in its center as the music drifted from the mahogany art. The mirror above it sported a large hole where the box had made contact.
"I'm okay," Cleao replied softly. "It's just…it…" She was running out of excuses. She was tired of constantly making them.
"It's Orphen, isn't it?" Mariabella said, more a concluding statement than a searching question. Cleao looked up, gaping at her sister while nothing but the sound of the music box played softly in the background. Then again, for all her frivolity, Mariabella was the kind of person who observed and understood far more than she revealed. She knelt down beside the younger girl, tenderly stroking her shaking shoulders. Eventually, Cleao slowly nodded.
"Yeah. Stupid, huh?" she whispered, but sniffled loudly.
"I don't think it's stupid," Mariabella objected. "You love him, and while I don't know what exactly happened between the two of you, I'm sure it's okay to cry about it."
Cleao shook her head vigorously and forced herself to stand no matter how much her body protested. "I can't," she said. "I can't keep crying over this. It is stupid, it's against everything I established for myself. Any standards of independence I swore to maintain."
"Cleao, you were--and still are--in love."
Cleao whirled on her sister. "What's that got to do with anything?" she shrieked, hands balling into fists as though she were about to throw even more inanimate antiques at the battered mirror. "Love is not going to bring him back! I already told him everything I felt, as if I didn't already wear my heart on my sleeve, and what does that idiot do? He throws it back in my face, that's what!"
"…that's a drastic thing to say, don't you think?"
She bit her lower lip. "He treated it like it was nothing," she continued, tone quieter. "If he found my feelings so damn insignificant, then I suppose they are."
Mariabella slowly released the breath she had been holding. "Oh, Cleao," she whispered. How awful must have that been, not to just be rejected, but sneered at about it in the process? No wonder Cleao had been as miserable as she had been since she arrived back home. Oh sure, she pretended everything was fine and dandy, but Mariabella knew better. She just didn't know the details of the cause. Until now, that is.
"Don't feel sorry for me, I'll get over it," Cleao spat. "Get up off the floor. We gotta get ready to go." She tossed back her golden hair in her usual haughty manner, glancing dismissively at the wall clock. "We're gonna be late enough as it is."
---
"Hey, Cleao, you know what this is?"
"Orphen…it's a clam."
He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Cleao, I am aware it's a clam," he snapped. "What I meant is do you know what kind of clam this is? Do you know what it does?"
She glanced down at the little blue shell in her hand and she looked back at him, shaking her head.
"Toss it," he instructed, gesturing his head toward the tiny pool.
Still not understanding, she gave a little flick of her wrist and the clam plopped down in the pool. Then her eyes widened when she saw the water begin to glow a soft sapphire hue.
"You know," he spoke up, his voice possessing a strange gentleness, almost sad, "they say if you find a red one and make a wish, it'll come true."
She turned to him. "Really?"
Why was he telling her this?
He looked away, arms folding over his chest. "Well, if you believe in that kind of stuff, anyway," he muttered. "Personally, I don't think the red ones exist. I certainly had never seen one."
"I believe in those legends," she announced softly. She didn't know why she felt compelled to say such a thing. But whenever she had caught him alone, he always seemed so sad and lonely.
And there had been nothing she could do about it.
---
If she wasn't out of this concert in five minutes, she was going to scream. Cleao was usually all about instrumental concerts like this short performance being held just before the start of the ball, but the music was taking its toll on her. For one thing, some the tunes the musicians played were melancholy and taking her down memorial paths she did not want to trend. Especially when such paths led to events that were more than three years old.
Three years. Had it really been just three years ago? Had she only known him for that long?
Which meant that she had lived a greater part of her life without knowing Orphen even existed. So why did living without him feel like her world had turned a dull shade of gray?
It didn't help that her world had been pretty gray to begin with before the obnoxious spellcaster intruded upon it, bringing with him all the colorful promises of adventure and excitement. She knew there was a reason why she had the original intention of staying a few extra days at her boarding school. But no! She was just so excited about going back to Totokanta and seeing her mother and sister that she just could not wait. And then she met that jerk and decided to hitch a ride on his buggy because journeying sounded like fun.
Ah, but you met him before then.
Oh, yeah. The tower.
Cleao snorted silently to herself, glad for the darkness of the audience as she wondered if chasing these thoughts during a musical performance would be considered as rude as if she were engaged in a conversation with another. Of all the memories she had of Orphen, the one most overlooked was the first one of him. The first time she had ever saw him.
Her head tilted slightly in her musing. Why had she repressed such a memory for as long as she had? Because it was false? After all, that had been before she had ever spoken to him and found out just how much of an arrogant jerk he really was so the vision was different from all the others.
Even now.
Why?
The rest of her memories of Orphen, no matter what they were, shifted and changed the more she got to know him. The perspective differed as she acknowledged her feelings for him more and more by the day. However, this one…this one remained as it was.
It never changed. Why won't it change?
It was then Cleao realized with a jerk that the rest of the audience was applauding and she quickly followed suite to mask her return from La-La Land. The musicians bowed, picking up their instruments and smiling widely at the appreciative viewers. As they left, a distinguished old gentleman entered, approaching the gorgeous black piano sitting center of the stage. His solo would be the transition between the concert before and the ball after. Cleao didn't know why they did such a thing. Perhaps to keep people to feel like drinking too much or something.
With a smile, the musician's fingers began to flow along the ivory keys and instantly Cleao found herself once more dragged down a path of reminiscence.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to disturb you."
"No, I just…I just didn't know you could play the piano."
He smiled. A real smile. "Surprised, eh princess? It's one of the few hobbies I actually do have." He stroked the top of the ebony instrument. "I rarely ever come across one. At least one the owner would let me play, anyway." He glanced up at her. "Is it yours?"
She nodded. "How'd you guess?"
"Well, considering neither your mom nor your sister came running in here demanding I don't touch it, I figured either it belonged to you or you don't care if your guests play with such a delicate instrument."
She shook her head vigorously. "Your music. It's beautiful."
He really looked surprised then. "What? But…I haven't touched a piano in years. I'm a little rusty."
"I liked it."
He turned his head, and she thought she saw him blush a little. Either that or it was simply the change of shadows from the lighting. "Um…thanks, Cleao. Really."
"Play me another song?" she requested.
"Um…I don't know that many. I mean it, Cleao, it's been a while. A long while."
"Then I'll play one."
Without waiting for an answer, she joined him on the bench, placing her hands on the keys. It had been a while since she played, too. She could relate to his embarrassment. She grinned at him. "Let's play together."
"Huh?"
"Oh, stop being such a pervert, I didn't mean it like that."
"Well, knowing you, Cleao--"
She began to play a scale, drowning out anything else he had to say. From the corner of her eye, she saw him sigh and he started on a tune. Sometimes their fingers would "accidentally" interlock and knock against each other, making them both giggle like children.
"Stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"Oh, Orphen, I know you did that deliberately!"
"And…?"
In fact, they were no longer participating in an impromptu piano duet, but actually using the piano as an excuse to flirt with each other in a playful, almost downright silly, manner. It had been so wonderful, seeing him smile and laugh with genuine feeling. Their journey was over, and a new one was about to begin. She thought that between her and Orphen, even more things were going to change.
And they had.
Things got worse.
They started on their next journey and things between Orphen and Cleao became much, much worse. Cleao, for the life of her, couldn't fathom what it was that turned everything around. All she knew was after that day in her living room, playing on the piano with him, Orphen suddenly became very cold toward her. Cold and almost downright mean at times. Naturally, she became mean back in order to half defend herself, half give him a taste of his own medicine. And everything went to hell from there.
Everything.
The audience applauded once more once the song had completely finished. However, when Mariabella glanced over at her sister, Cleao was nowhere to be found.
-End Part I-
