Summary: This chapter follows the same day as the previous chapter, but through Hiro's eyes. Just what was he thinking when he said and did those things? (Some things will be repeated).
Beginning Note: Serious thanks to Dragoneyes, Ichigo-chan and Lavender-chan for being my first reviewers, I was so afraid I'd be one of those writers having their story up for almost a month with no reviews yet. So thanks, and thanks to anyone else that might review between the time I write and post this chapter (which shouldn't actually be too far apart). I became aware of some problems with the formatting of the last chapter and have tried to figure out a way to make it a little easier to read since my formatting was not uploaded with the story. So inner thoughts/talking will be "Example" and emphasis will stay Example. I'm sorry for the confusion! Also the last chapter has been edited as best as possible to anyone who would like to reread it for better understanding.
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If Only I Could Tell You - Chapter 2
"What feels so warm?" I keep my eyes closed, making out the sun's brightness behind my eyelids. "Oh, it's just the sun." I turn on my side and snuggle against a pillow. "Too bad it's not a person. It wouldn't hurt if the person was Suguru either." I smile at the thought of his name. I lay there picturing my small adorable band mate lying next to me. "I'd wrap my arms around him, keeping him close to me, nuzzling him affectionately. Wait … what I am doing?" I suddenly open one eye only to look directly into the face of the clock. I sit up swiftly, looking back at the pillow I was just smothering.
"I guess I better stop fantasizing and get up before I do anymore embarrassing things." I get out of bed, not very cold considering all I'm "wearing" is my birthday suit. "I do live alone after all. No need to hide anything I say." I head to the bathroom to clean myself up. I look into the mirror, right into my own eyes. I almost glare at myself, my eyes narrow and my expression stern.
"Today is the day Hiro," I say to my reflection. "Today is the day you let him know how you feel." I let out a sigh and stare down at my hands gripping tightly to the edge of the sink. "You just need to get a grip on yourself first."
Rubbing the tension from my forehead I continue as I was, taking a shower and fixing my hair. "How will I do it though?" I question myself on this until I'm fully dressed in dark blue denim jeans and jacket with a white t-shirt. I smile into the mirror as I fix my hair once more and slip on a pair of sunglasses.
"This will be the day, and I'll start it by picking him up for rehearsals. He always has to walk or catch the bus. He could always learn to drive, but I understand how someone who works like him wouldn't even think of making time for driving lessons." I grab my guitar and bag and head out to my bike. I make sure to bring along the spare helmet that Shuichi usually uses when he rides with me. They were about the same size. "Damn, stop standing around and get going already. If you run late he'll already be gone."
Glancing at my watch I hop on my bike and start the engine. "I better speed things up a bit if I'm going to get there on time." I pull away from my apartment and head towards Suguru's house. As the sun is rising, the sidewalks and streets turn shades of orange from the honey colored sun rays. I glance up at the sky as the white clouds streak through the pink and purple colors of the early morning sky. It distracts me for a moment, though maybe it was longer. I hear the sirens up behind me. "Oh no, fuck! Nice one Hiro." Yeah, I pulled over and the cop stopped behind me. I watched through my mirror as he made his way over.
"Spacing off for a moment there?" asked a voice from the policeman's helmet, however it was a female's voice. I removed my sunglasses as she removed her helmet. When we both looked at each other she suddenly looked dazed as her mouth dropped with something to say. "Oh my … oh my … are you Hiroshi Nakano?!"
I almost questioned how to answer. "Y … yes," I stuttered slightly. It almost makes me cringe as her eyes widen and a huge smile curves over the lower half of her face. "Did I access insanity mode, because I'm really in a hurry to be slightly romantic then confess some feelings I've been harboring for someone." I think to myself in a hectic rush. "Please lady, just blow up or give me a ticket so I can leave."
"My-daughter-absolutely-loves-'Bad-Luck'-and-well-I've-been-sort-of-on-bad-terms-with-her-and-she-absolutely-loves-you-and-well-I-was-wondering-if-you-would …?" I grit my teeth in an effort to smile. She pulls out a pad and pen. I sigh as I take them from her and give her my autograph for this daughter she speaks of. "I bet she doesn't even have a daughter." At some point while I was signing the paper she was writing me a ticket. "Just when I thought this situation couldn't get worse! I should refuse her this autograph, but I won't, I can't. That's just not me."
"Have a nice day Hiroshi," she said as she walked away leaving me looking at the ticket in my hand. As she drove off she waved happily. "Oh great, she gets an autograph for her non-existent daughter and I get held up and a driving ticket. Way to kick someone's ass and insult them too. That was absolutely horrible." Ok, I know; no need to go insulting or making fun of the woman. I quickly look at my watch and pull away to continue to my destination.
I finally reach his house, one of those nice, country-like houses, with the white paint job and blue framed windows and flowers everywhere. Then I notice the only thing I find attractive in the whole scenery; him. I smirk mischievously at the sight. Aside from my previous hold up, I was in time. I watch as he approaches. He was quite adorable, staring down at his feet. The engine growls and I can tell he's startled. I try not to laugh and keep my composure simply smiling. He smiles back and I almost shiver. I turn off the engine, swinging my leg around and leaning against the bike to get a better angle of him.
"At first I thought you would stare at your feet the whole time," I say playfully. "But now I have a feeling you're just going to daydream all day." I see he's completely confused, I'm guessing by my arrival.
"Hiro?" he questions me. I almost fall over. "Are you telling me he doesn't even know it's me? How do I do this now?" I raise an eyebrow with a nervous grin. I tip my sunglasses and widen my grin as he blushes. "He can be so cute sometimes." I start to laugh. "Actually he's cute all the time, just sometimes more than others."
I notice he's staring at me, and for some odd reason I say, "I know I'm beautiful, but there's no need to stare at me." I start to think about what I said. "You idiot, what was that?! Oh it wasn't cocky at all. I'm sure his opinion of you has only grown, grown worse!" I clench my teeth nervously into something similar to a smile, but I doubt he sees it that way. "You seem confused, and I wish I could give you a moment to sort your brain, but we have to go or we'll be late." I toss him the helmet. I wave him over as I get back on the bike. I feel him get on behind me. "He's so close." My body starts to tingle. A few thoughts come to mind, most of which are R rated and beyond. He begins feeling tense against me. "Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?" I watch him shake his head no. I beam at him. "Don't worry I'll be gentle," I growl, watching him turn a bright red. I turn the engine on, "the bike ride won't be too bad either."
"I know he didn't hear me, I just feel like being … well … wicked around him. He feels so good against me too." I bite my lip trying to restrain myself. "I'm sure he's more than uncomfortable with this situation, just control yourself, you don't want to scare him."
Out of nowhere I feel his head hit my back. Under different circumstances it would be heavenly, however, from my own experiences; I know it being his first time on a bike he could be getting sick. "Are you ok?" I ask slightly worried. "You didn't fall asleep did you? I don't want you to fall off."
"No, I'm fine," he responds. He sounds a bit nauseous. I want to pull over, but I know the sooner we get there and he can sit on a non-moving object, the better.
"Don't worry, we're almost there." Hopefully that'll settle some of his nerves. I have a hunch he won't be up for much rehearsing though. Soon we're there and I stop the bike getting off quickly. I grab my stuff glancing at him. He looks horrible. It hurts to see him like this. What's worse is when he tries to play off his sickness with a smile. "Oh Suguru, that tortures me how you hide any bad feelings behind a smile. Sometimes you need to show pain and anger. The kind a bit of frustration doesn't ease. I can't imagine what else you hide."
"Are you sure you're ok Suguru?" I ask, hoping I'll receive some truth. "You know you can tell me anything, I mean it. I hate the idea that I've made someone I care about feel sick or pain in anyway."
"Yes, I know," he answers with another smile. "I'm fine, my stomach just didn't agree with the ride over." I guess that's as honest as he'll get for now. We both head into the building. I look at my watch. "We have some time before Shuichi will show. If only I knew how to tell you how I feel about you Suguru."
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Ending Note: Did anyone notice in comparison to the first chapter, how when Hiro was trying to be romantic it made things more uncomfortable and when he was trying to hint his true intensions Suguru would question things and get confused. Yeah, these two need help. Shuichi the match maker? Well, not exactly, I don't think. You'll have to see. The next chapter should be faster, but it may be shorter. It depends. Please review, it makes me happier to write. Thanks!