Summary: Suguru tells his story and Hiro isn't happy. The lovers have different methods of coping with their problems, but not all of them may be good. Alcohol comes in and so does a certain gun junkie.
Warning: Lots of bad language, what is probably underage drinking (in America if not in Japan), drunk driving (if you really pay attention you'll notice) and gay bashing (which was hard to write considering I don't agree with hate towards anyone). So no, I'm not promoting any of that.
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If Only I Could Tell You - Chapter 7
Suguru woke with an ache stretching over his body. He felt terrible and weak, collapsing back against the bed. He looked to the side seeing Hiro, his hair taking a bright red glow in the morning sun. He wanted a way to keep the image by his side. He slowly reached his hand out to touch him, but flinched back as Hiro's eyes slowly opened. He laid his hand back down as Hiro looked at him. A smile curved over the guitarist's lips.
"Morning," greeted Hiro with his sleepy grin.
"Morning," Suguru smiled back.
Hiro wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulling him into his warm embrace. He went strait for the cream colored neck. There was a violent intake of breath and Hiro pulled back.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
"No, it's just, the bruises … they still hurt."
Hiro gave a pained look to the other boy. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" Suguru didn't look at him for a moment.
"Yeah, I'll tell you," answered Suguru, his head still hung low. "But can we eat first?"
"Of course." Hiro kissed Suguru on the forehead before getting up and heading to the kitchen. "Anything you want?" Hiro asked as Suguru walked out into the room.
"Not really."
"Doesn't surprise me. You only know you want me." He smiled. Suguru smiled with a blush.
Hiro cooked up something and served it to the both of them. He looked Suguru over carefully with concern. The black eye was clearing up well and would probably be fine in a week or so. The bruises on his arms were almost gone as well, but he couldn't take the idea of how much pain he was still dealing with. Suguru dropped his fork to the plate causing a ringing noise in the quiet room.
"I lied," Suguru said abruptly. "I lied to them."
"Your parents?"
Suguru nodded. "I told them we had a performance, and would be out of town a while."
"Why did you tell them that?"
Tears streamed down Suguru's pale cheeks. "I needed to get away; I couldn't be in that house with him anymore."
Hiro became confused. "I don't understand, they were leaving, he wouldn't be there to hurt you. If you had wanted company, I could have come to stay with you."
"That's just it, they weren't leaving, and I just made excuses not to stay there, excuses to be with you."
"They didn't go anywhere? You … lied to me?"
Suguru looked up with red puffy eyes. He suddenly felt pain in his chest, in his heart. He had lied to Hiro. He told him that his parents were gone. Worse of all, he hadn't told him what was going on with his father. This was one of the few physical attacks … most of which he could cover up. But the abuse had lasted a while.
"Wait Hiro, I hadn't realized … I didn't mean not to tell you."
Hiro was silent, staring down at the table. Suguru's eyes were filled with fear. He could feel that Hiro would be angry. He watched the guitarist chest rise and fall with a deep sigh. He tipped his head up towards the keyboardist, his hair hanging down over his eyes, a small smile curved over his lips.
"Hiro?"
"It's fine … you didn't want to tell me. For whatever reason you felt you had to lie."
"Hiro wait, that's not what I meant to do. I wanted to ... I was going to tell you."
"I understand. Come on, we need to get dressed and go. I'm sure we're not the only ones that saw that show last night."
Suguru nodded sadly. He finished his food and got dressed. Hiro on the other hand hadn't seemed to move at all, but was fully dressed by the time the keyboardist had stepped back out to the living room. He didn't say anything, just got up and went outside to his bike, Suguru following quietly. He could see Hiro was upset, and hurt. He just hadn't known how to tell Hiro and when he did his thoughts were other places. He forgot about his problems around Hiro.
On the bike he suddenly felt uncomfortable with so much contact with Hiro. His hands felt on fire touching the guitarist, as though being burned by anger and disappointment. He held on only as much as he had to. Suguru had a bit of shame towards himself as Hiro felt tense under his touch. Today was going to be hard on both of them.
They arrived at the studio and went straight to the recording room. They sat down apart from each other, Hiro not even looking at him.
"Hiro, I'm sorry. I should have told you."
"How did you think it wasn't important to tell someone, anyone? It wasn't right. You didn't have to tell me, but someone."
"I know … I just wasn't thinking. And this time I had with you made me forget about it. It wasn't a problem for me anymore."
"Did he know it was a lie, what you told him?"
Suguru moved over next to the burgundy haired boy, leaning against his arm. "I don't know, I don't care."
"Maybe … this is a mistake."
"What?" Suguru looked up at him, almost fearful. His heart started pounding painfully. "What do you mean by that?"
"I think we're moving too fast. Things are only going to get worse with other people."
"I don't care what other people think!" cried Suguru standing up. "They don't matter when it comes to what I feel."
"Well maybe they should matter to you." Suguru's brows furrowed with a bit of confusion. "You think he's the only one that will hurt you because of how you feel?"
Suguru was silent. Hiro was being so cold towards him. He still couldn't look into his eyes, as his hair still sheltered them. Suddenly the guitarist stood up and walked to the door. Suguru was about to follow, but Hiro pulled the door shut behind him, leaving the younger boy alone.
Suguru stood there blankly staring at the door. Tears began to pour out of his eyes. He had no real idea what just happened and yet pain struck every part of his body and emptiness stung in his chest. He couldn't comprehend what happened, but it hurt. He backed away from the door trying to find support against the table. Suddenly K entered the room. He looked at the heartache stricken keyboardist.
"Fujisaki?" K moved closer to the boy. "What's wrong?" He was startled as he noticed the black eye. "What's happened to you?"
The scorching tears caused Suguru's eyes to swell and his throat to tighten. He was speechless and a mess of tears. He choked on his words a few times before he realized there was nothing he could say. His eyes burned, but the pain only made him cry more. He could do nothing and simply collapsed into K's arms. K held him and let the boy cry as much as he needed to.
(Elsewhere)
Hiro didn't understand what came over him. Everything suddenly seemed wrong. He didn't want Suguru being hurt. 'It would only get worse to let go with time. He would only try to stop me if he knew why I can't be with him. People won't understand, and the next time someone puts their hands on him it could be worse. And he wouldn't tell me if it happens again. I could even ... lose him.' His chest began to throb. That was not a thought he wanted coming to mind. He didn't want to lose him, even if that meant keeping his distance.
He pulled off to the side of the road. He needed to get away from his thoughts. He had no idea where he would go, or what he would do, but it would be away from this pain he was feeling. He pulled back onto the road and drove off.
(Back at the studio)
"Are you ready to tell me what's going on? asked K, rubbing Suguru's back soothingly. The small keyboardist shook his head no against the blonde's chest. "Will you at least tell me about the black eye?"
"My father," Suguru softly let out.
K looked down at him a little shocked. "Does Touma know about this?"
Suguru shook his head no again. "Please don't tell him, I don't want him to know. It's not his problem to get into."
K pulled the boy away slightly. "Are you alright?" Suguru shook his head no for the third time. "What's wrong?" There was no answer to the question so K simply moved on. "Why don't you wait for Shuichi and stay with him for the day." K smiled down at the boy before leaving the room.
Suguru tried to hold back his tears as he laid his head down on the table. 'Why is he doing this to me? Why can't he just be here with me? I didn't mean to lie. I didn't mean to not tell him. I just want him here.'
(In the Hall)
K was furious. How could that asshole get away with this? 'He isn't getting away with this.' He continued down the hall and out to his van with a mischievous grin masking his true emotions. He hopped into his van, and went speeding off to Suguru's house.
He pulled up in front of the white house. The perfection of the appearance was eerie. 'This is just the place to cover-up all the crap obviously going on inside.' He forced his face to hold a grin as he walked up to the door. Walking up to the top step he rang the door bell. Slowing reaching to his side he pulled out his gun. The door swung open and K raised his gun into the face of the person at the door. The woman almost screamed at the sight of the blonde standing there ready to shoot.
"Oh, hello Ms.," K greeted kindly. "Can you please get Fujisaki-san for me?"
"Dear, there's a man here to see you," the woman yelled in a shaky voice.
Out walked a tall man, not much bigger than K himself. "Who is it?" he asked walking up to the door behind the woman.
"Hello Fujisaki-san," K greeted, now pointing the gun at the man. "I think we have some things to discuss."
Fujisaki-san turned to his wife nodding her to leave. She looked at the two before reluctantly leaving. "I don't know who you are, but I don't believe I have anything to discuss with you."
"Neither do I," K grinned evilly, causing a slight chill to crawl up the other man's spine.
"W … what do you mean?" K slowly pulled the trigger back letting the first bullet cut past the man's head with a trail of smoke. "Son of a bitch! Are you insane?" Another bullet went flying at the man's left foot. He jumped to the right only to find a bullet aimed at that side as well. Back and forth, he jumped from foot to foot only to meet bullets on both sides. Suddenly his right foot slipped from under him, causing him to fall back onto his ass.
"Keep your hands off Suguru!"
"What fucking business is it of yours, he's my son, and I'll do whatever I want!" With that the gun fired once more, only to have the man look between his legs at the smoldering hole in the floor.
"You'll stay away from him … or else." Slowly the blonde walked away, slipping on a pair of sunglasses and a smile as he made his way back to his van. "Have a nice day!"
(Later That Night)
Hiro was starting to find himself getting tired and irritated. He just wanted to relax, and not think too much about anything. He pulled his bike up to a local bar. He stared into the flashing neon lights for a moment. His mind traveled in a daze as he sat there emotionless. 'Am I really here? What do I plan to get here? Distractions? Answers? This isn't really the right place for either of those things.' He got off the bike anyway and stepped into the bar. A breeze with the stench of smoke and alcohol hit his face making him cringe and cough. As he walked through the dim lit place he felt eyes all over him and voices all around him. He tried to ignore them and made his way to the bar. Suddenly he heard a voice call to him from nowhere.
"Hiroshi!" called the voice repeatedly. Hiro looked right of the bar and found a drunken K waving wildly at him. It was almost humiliating to see his manager in such a state. The blonde, deep in a drunken giddiness stumbled over to the guitarist and wrapped an arm over his shoulder. "Come, join me in a drink Hiroshi."
K led Hiro to the bar, ordering two drinks for the two of them. He settled the hesitant Hiro into a seat next to him and handed him his drink. Hiro looked at the drink. Foam flowing down the sides onto his hands, adding flavor to his fingertips. Hiro focused on the bubbles, watching them form and burst before he finally tipped back the drink and swallowed the whole glass. K watched slightly intrigued.
"So Hiroshi, what brings you here?"
"Just wanted to get out."
"You mean you didn't want to stay in with your boyfriend."
"So you saw it too.
"I don't know anyone who didn't."
"Suguru's not my boyfriend, at least not anymore," Hiro muttered barely loud enough for the other to hear.
"You can't mean that."
"After that thing last night, its better I just leave him alone."
"Is that why he looked that way this morning?"
"What?"
"Nothing, here, have another drink," K offered with a smile. 'I don't think dumping the boy will help either of you out Hiro.'
"Trying to get me drunk?" Hiro mused. K smiled innocently. He thought cheerfully while he watched Hiro gulp down his third drink. Hiro looked at the drunk blonde and began laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"I don't know, I just want to laugh, and you seem like the best thing to laugh at." They both went into a stupor of laughter.
K felt fingers caress his golden locks. Hiro's beautiful hands deep in his hair seemed to send shudders through his body. The fingers lingered their way down to his lips, trailing back and forth. They traced from crease to crease of his mouth, leaving a faint taste of alcohol and Hiro's own taste on his lips. As the fingers left, he looked over next to him, only to find the guitarist passed out on the bar. 'Damn.' He pulled the boy into his arms, wrapping an arm over his shoulder. While on his way to the door, he felt stares and heard the mutters of people in the bar. 'Got something to say to me assholes? If so, just say it and get it over with.' No one stepped up to confront the blonde with their opinion, so he left with Hiro in his arms.
(Hiro's apartment)
The door swung open and the light switch was flipped on. Suguru walked in, his head hung low, shuffling his feet. Footsteps followed his own as he walked to the couch.
"Will you be alright Suguru?" asked Shuichi from the doorway. Suguru only nodded. Shuichi wasn't going to force his company on the younger boy. He left, closing the door behind him.
"Yeah, I'm totally fine," Suguru assured to the empty room. "Yeah, right." He slumped onto his side with a painful sigh. 'I wish this day were over. But even more, I wish it had never happened.'
(Back at K's Van)
K placed Hiro in the passenger seat, making sure he was comfortable. Getting in the driver's seat he looked over at the burgundy haired boy affectionately. K noticed he forgot the seatbelt and reach on the other side. Reaching over Hiro he found himself face to face with the guitarist. 'He has such sinful lips.' He giggled slightly as he leaned in to let his lips brush Hiro's. He was more pleased as the boy pushed up to deepen the kiss. Their lips parted, leaving K stunned as he heard the other moan.
"Suguru," moaned Hiro. "I'm sorry." A tear fell from his eye as he spoke.
K watched painfully, realizing everything wrong with what he was doing. 'Damn it K, what's wrong with you. Obviously he's in love. What are you trying to do? Fuck it up?!' He snapped together Hiro's seatbelt and started the van. He touched his lips. 'One more thing they'll never know about.' He looked over once more before driving off. Slowly Hiro came to, looking out the window.
"Wait, stop!" he cried. K pushed on the breaks hard.
"What is it?"
Hiro opened the door and tried to get out of his seat, only to find his seatbelt still on. He fumbled with the thing for a moment before K unsnapped it for him. Hiro crashed onto the ground outside. Everything was spinning around him, even his own hands. 'Shit, I'm going to be sick!' He began to puke as the alcohol forced its way back up his throat. K rushed out of the van and tried to see if Hiro was ok.
"I'm fine!" Hiro sneered as he got back on his two feet. He stumbled towards the house they were in front of. It was Suguru's.
'What is he trying to do?' K thought. He watched as the boy stumbled to the door. "What are you doing Hiro?"
"Teaching a bastard a long over due lesson."
"Hiro wait."
Hiro rang the doorbell. The door was answered by Fujisaki-san. The man glared for a moment. "What do you want?"
"You s'ucking ba'turd," Hiro slurred. He took a swing at the man only to fail and fall face down.
"I know who you are. You're that fag that's been fucking my son. I can tell by that girly hair of yours." He reached down and grabbed Hiro by his hair. "I don't know why you're on my property, but I want you the fuck off of it." K stepped up next to Hiro, helping him up. "You again. You have a thing for under aged boys too?" Suddenly Hiro's fist made contact with the man's jaw, knocking him to the floor.
"There's my lesson, bastard." Full of anger, Hiro walked up, kicking the man in the ribs. "How do you like being beaten on?!"
"Hiroshi, that's enough," K stated, pulling Hiro back to the van. "Let me get you home." They got into the van and drove to Hiro's apartment.
(At Hiro's Apartment)
K turned to the sleeping boy in his passenger seat. K got them out, supporting the burgundy haired boy as they got to the apartment. Getting into the living room he went straight for Hiro's bedroom. He looked at the ruffled bed, big enough for two. K walked over to the bed, pulling the covers and sheets back, and laying Hiro down. He looked at the boys clothing, questioning on whether he should remove them. 'I mean who likes to sleep in their clothes anyway?' It was an excuse for him, so he got Hiro down to his boxers and wrapped him in the blanket.
Walking out of the apartment he noticed something behind him. He turned to find Suguru asleep on the couch. He looked slightly cold and lonely. 'Did you suddenly turn saint over the span of the last few hours? That alcohol must have really messed you up tonight.' He picked the small keyboardist into his arms and carried him to the bedroom, repeating the process he took with Hiro. This time was simpler due to the smaller size and lighter weight of the boy. 'Ok, your work here is done. You're manager, not guardian to them.' K sighed and left to get some sleep at home.
(Hiro's Bedroom)
Both boys shifted between the sheets against each other. Suguru was startled by the sudden contact. He shifted around to find Hiro snuggling to him from behind. He tearfully pressed himself against the taller boy's chest. Hiro stirred a bit, wrapping his arm around the smaller boy. He looked down in his sleepy blur, recognizing the person in his arms. He mumbled something only he actually heard. Suguru looked up at him confused.
"I'm so sorry about before," Hiro repeated slightly louder. "I don't want to lose you. I just didn't want to lose you, even if I had to stay away from you. But I realize I can't stay away from you, I just …"
Hiro trailed off into sleep again. Suguru looked at him, his expression lighter now. "I can't stay away from you either Hiro." He snuggled up to Hiro and closed his eyes.
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Ending Note: Sorry if this chapter was sappy. Ok, I'd like to announce that I'm really sorry to anyone really enjoying this story, but I believe there will only be one more chapter following this one (unless I get more ideas of where to take the story). But I'm running out of ideas for this story and being ambushed with ideas for another story. Also I've suddenly been given a lot of work that's been putting on a lot of stress on me (3 projects within 1 ½ weeks). I want to write, but I have to do my work (I'm still in high school). With all my work I can only have one story to work on, at least until some kind of break comes up. I might do a sequel if ideas come to me. Hope you can understand, I get easily stressed. Please review.