By Any Means Necessary
Written by wingedleona
I don't own Sailor Moon.
It's freezing out here, she thought as she leaned as against the payphone. Her shoulder still ached and she could feel a migraine coming. Black blue hair touched the dirty glass as she gripped the telephone tightly with white knuckles.
"Please pick up", she whispered, huddled in her jacket in an attempt to keep warm. The dial tone sounded in her ear and she fervently prayed again that her friend would pick up her phone.
"Moshi Moshi", came her voice and Ami's heart soared.
"Makoto", she said with a heartfelt sigh.
"What's wrong honey?", she asked soothingly. Ami bit her lip in order to stem the flow of tears.
"My car got stolen and I didn't even get the papers. And my…my house keys. And my cell phone and…my henshin pen", she choked out as a wave of tears flooded her eyes. Makoto gasped, "Nani?"
"They were in my briefcase, which was in my car. The probability of my purse getting stolen was higher so I kept my henshin pen in my briefcase", she cried, "What am I going to do?"
"Where are you?", asked Makoto in a fierce voice, as she thought of what she would do once she got her hands on the car thieves.
"On Shinoko Ave and 10th, in front of LeFarges", she said tearfully.
"All right. Stay put. We're coming to get you and we're going to get your car and briefcase back", she said determinedly.
"Thanks, Makoto", Ami said, as she hung up. She wiped her face with the back of her hand.
Ami sighed, her breath coming out in white wisps that disappeared. What would I do without Makoto and the others? she thought. Turning around, she grasped the handle and pulled. Nothing. She tried again, jiggling the handle desperately. Still nothing. She gasped. And tried again, this time banging the dirty glass. Bang! Bang!
"Gah!", she shrieked and threw her weight against the glass several times, before her aching shoulder caused her to stop. She paused, leaning her forehead against the glass. Ami Mizuno, genius extraordinaire, was stuck. In a dirty phone booth. On Shinoko Ave. and 10th . In front of LeFarge's.
Cell phone. Check.
Brownies. Check.
Car and House Keys. Check.
Baseball bat. Check.
Makoto dashed out the door of her apartment with her things. Running haphazardly down the stairs, she went through the plan in her head.
The Plan
Stash brownies in the trunk.
Pick up Mina.
Pick up Usagi.
Pray that they don't smell the chocolate.
Head over to LeFarge's.
Pick up Ami.
Call Rei.
Have Rei give her directions to Ami's car through a fire reading.
Find Ami's car.
Whoop some ass.
Head over to Rei's.
Eat some brownies and console Ami.
Go home.
Sleep.
Perfect.
After ten minutes, the cavalry arrived. They had taken up position around the rusty, old phone booth and were kicking it in the hopes that it would surrender its hostage. No luck. They had been scolded so far by 5 pedestrians, who had gotten the "wrong idea, buddy", as Makoto so eloquently put it. Ami was worried. Currently, they were huddled in conference around Makoto's car. Two blondes and a hot-tempered brunette. As the strategist of the group, she was rendered helpless and couldn't even hope to be the voice of reason. I wonder what they're planning to do, she thought, chewing on her lower lip.
"All right, guys. We need a plan", said Mina, her blue eyes shining fiercely.
"I wish Ami was here", sighed Usagi, chewing on a nail and leaning against Makoto's car.
"Me too", chimed the owner, brows knitted as she tried to come up with something.
"But she's not here! So we need to think like Ami. If I were Ami and I was trapped, how would I get me out?", Minako summarized.
Silence.
"I've got it!", yelled Makoto green eyes blazing as she opened the car door and rummaged in the back seat.
"I'd bust in there", came her muffled voice. She backed out of the car and turned around.
"With this!", she said brandishing her weapon of choice and slamming the door shut with her leg.
"Genius", breathed Minako, "Let's go!"
"What if she gets hurt", frowned Usagi.
"She won't. I'll be careful", reassured Makoto.
"All right troops! Move out!", ordered Minako enthusiastically flashing her "V" sign.
"What in the world?", asked Ami squinting through the dirty and scratched glass. They were approaching her with grim faces and Makoto was holding something in her hand…
"Gah!", cried out Ami as she realized what it was. She quickly backed up and crouched into the filthy corner of the phone booth and took off her jacket covering her face with it. Tap, Tap. Ami peered out of the safety of her nylon jacket.
"Ami, don't move", came Makoto's muffled voice. Quickly, Ami covered her face again. Makoto took a stance and swung the bat with all her might against the glass. Crash! Glass showered all around her and Ami could feel the little pellets hit her jacket.
"Ami! Are you okay? ", asked Usagi worriedly.
"I'm fine, minna", she said her voice muffled underneath the jacket.
"Thank goodness! Let's get out of here and go find your car", she replied.
Mina reached in and grabbed her hand. Her warm blue eyes smiled at her like a beam of sunshine. "And I want all the dirty, little details!", she said grinning. Ami groaned.
"And then he said, 'Dinner.' Dinner! Can you believe the nerve of that man?", she snapped, blues blazing.
Minako, Usagi, Makoto all sighed simultaneously. "How romantic!"
"Oh, please", Rei said over the speaker phone, "Don't you trust him, Ami. Guys only want one thing".
"They do not!", cried out Mina, "What if he's fallen in love?"
"Turn left at the light. Her car's in the alleyway. Look in the gray building, they're in there. And they do too, Mina!", said Rei.
"Well, I don't care as long as I get the papers."
"They do not!"
"I've never been to Martinelli's. I should have Mamo-chan take me."
"All right, guys, that's enough. Rei, we'll see you in ten", said Makoto as she hung up the phone. She turned around glaring at them. They fell silent.
"Okay, here's the plan", said Ami, breaking the silence, "Usagi, you'll guard Mako's car. Mako and Mina will go inside and get my things. I'll be in my car. When they come running out, Mako will drive her car. Mina will drive mine. We'll meet up at Sendai Hill at Rei's. Got it?"
Everyone nodded.
"Good, because I'm on a serious time crunch", she said frowning.
"Hands in", ordered Mina, "On three"
"1,2,3! Break!"
Makoto grabbed her bat and everyone took up their respective positions.
Makoto and Mina transformed and ran up the stairwell into the building, baseball bat in tow. Ami opened her car door and got inside. Her heart pounded as she nervously waited for her friends to come out of the building. Buckling her seatbelt, a small fracture in her car window caught her attention. So it seems that my briefcase did crack the window after all, she thought with a frown. She looked at her watch. 7:15pm. And she still had to get ready for her little outing. She mentally went over her wardrobe and decided that she didn't have a thing to wear either. Just great.
Suddenly, gunfire broke out and a man flew out of the first floor window. He landed hard on the hood of Ami's car, startling her. Before he could even get up, a pair of yellow heels landed on either side of him. Mina or Sailor Venus picked him up by his collar and tossed him onto the dirty, wet alleyway concrete. Ami unlocked the car door and Mina scrambled in. "Let's suck this Popsicle stand!", she cried as she tossed Ami her stuff.
"Its blow, not suck", corrected Ami as she checked everything in her bag. "Thank God, everything's still here", she sighed with relief. Mina hit the gas pedal and her relief flew out the window. Thankfully, she had put on her seat belt.
"Mina! Be careful!", she shrieked, as Mina narrowly avoided a fire hydrant. "We're off to Rei's!", she crowed as she sped through the streets of Tokyo. Her cell phone rang cheerfully with the latest pop song.
"Moshi, moshi!", she sang out, "Ya, we got out okay", she said as she swerved to miss a woman.
"Minako! Watch it!", yelled Ami. She grasped the little handle on the roof of her car that was used for hanging dry cleaned clothes and held on for dear life. It popped off in her hand and she swore.
"Uh-huh. Yeah. We should be at your place in like five minutes. I think Makoto made her famous brownies. I smelled chocolate in her car. Uh-huh! Yeah, don't worry I will! Okay! Chao, bella!", she said cheerfully running a red light and narrowly missing a collision.
"Argh! Minako! You know you get fined for those!", said Ami fuming as she placed the handle in her glove compartment. Hopefully, she could glue it on later.
"No you don't", she said, "They revoke your license instead for about a month"
"Nani!", cried out Ami.
"Yup. I just got mine back last week", she replied.
Ami sighed and pressed her forehead against the window. Great. That too. They finally made it in one piece to the temple. Ami stumbled out of the car, her legs shaking and her heart pounding.
"You need to relax. Get a massage or something", said Mina, smiling at Ami.
"You almost got us killed back there!", said Ami, glaring at her.
"Here. Catch!", Mina tossed her the keys.
"Gah!", said Ami, ducking as they flew over her head and landed on the sidewalk. Mina laughed. Just then Makoto pulled up in her car. Mina turned away and waved. Ami pick her keys up and started to climb up the stairs, when Usagi's shriek of accusation stopped her. She turned around and stared.
"I Knew It!", she said triumphantly, pointing at a sheepish Makoto. The trunk slammed and the wind carried a tantalizing whiff of chocolate towards Ami.
"You have brownies! And you said that I was just imagining things! Hah! Liar! My sense of smell is perfectly fine, thank you very much! Now gimme!", she said launching herself at the plate. Makoto dodged her and ran up the myriad of steps leading to the temple.
"Get back here buster! You're so dead when I get my hands on you!", yelled Usagi, puffing up the stairs behind her, hair streaming and turning gold in the fading light.
"C'mon. Let's get up there before she eats all the brownies", said Mina linking arms with Ami. They leaned on each other as they walked up the stone steps and Ami couldn't help but think that she wouldn't change anything.
The Plan (Modified)
Wait for Ami to get out of the shower.
Pile into her car.
Go to Nordstrom's.
Scour the racks for a dress. (blue)
Scour the shelves for heels. (blue and strappy)
Get Ami dressed in the car.
Do her makeup and hair.
Let her borrow Rei's perfume.
Instruct her on the Art of Seduction.
Get her to the restaurant.
Spy on her without her knowing. (Improvise.)
Go to Rei's, when they leave restaurant.
Wait for call.
Get all the juicy details.
Go home.
Go to sleep.
Perfect.
"Ami! Hurry up!", shouted Usagi as she paced the living room. Grumbling, Rei closed the paper screen to her bedroom and carried her makeup, perfume, and hair products over to them.
"This has to be the worst idea ever. What if he turns out to be a psycho? Men can't be trusted. And if he even thinks about laying a finger on her, I'll fry him", she declared.
Makoto rolled her eyes, this was about the umpteenth time Rei had said this.
"This is why we're going to keep an eye on them, to make sure that his intentions are completely pure. Remember, pyro?", said Mina. Rei scowled at her ill-conceived nickname.
"Hmph. It still doesn't mean that I have to like it", she snapped. The shower stopped running.
"Just make sure that we bundle up and bring the binoculars", said Makoto folding her arms. Just then a blue whirlwind dashed through the living room and out the door. Not even a minute later everyone ran after it.
"And we're off!", crowed Mina excitedly.
"This has to be the worst idea… Ouch! Meatball Head!"
"Can it, pyro!", said Usagi yanking Rei's hair.
"Grrr! Get back here!"
"Stop playing around you guys", scolded Makoto as Usagi and Rei chased each other around her car.
"Okay. We're here. Remember. Show no mercy! Blue dress. Blue heels. Hands in! Hands in, Rei! Don't make me come back there! Okay! On three! 1, 2, 3!", howled Minako in Makoto's car.
"Break", they yelled scrambling out.
Later on
"If you know what's good for you, you'll let go of the damn dress lady!", snapped Rei. There were only 30 minutes left and they had found shoes but no dress. Rei had spotted it just as a young woman had picked it up off the rack. It was gorgeous, baby blue silk and backless. And there was no way in hell, the lady would even be able to squeeze herself into it. So Rei decided to save her some time and Ami's dress. It was a stand off. The woman had the dress, but Rei had her purple eyes.
"Excuse me?", she said, glaring.
"I said hand over the dress lady! It's not even your freaking size!", Rei snarled. Time was short and so was her temper. Somehow, Mina's enthusiasm had managed to infect her and she wanted this day to work out for Ami. Who knew maybe the man had hot friends?
"Oh, yeah?", she snapped back defensively. Rei drew up every inch of herself and towered over the young woman. All her training and all girl's school snobbery appeared on her face.
"Yes", she hissed and snatched the dress from the woman's frozen grasp. She made her good escape before the customer could regain her senses. Smirking, she slipped into the beige dressing room silent as a shadow and made her way over to her loud, bickering friends. She smiled. They were in the handicapped cubicle, they only one big enough to fit them all. She lifted her hand and rapped on the door in the "code" that Mina insisted that they used. In an effort to save time, Ami's hair and make up was done in the dressing stall. As Rei opened the door, she saw chaos had erupted. All her make up was strewn across the floor and her foundation bottle was leaking. She scowled, hung up the dress, screwed the bottle tighter, and wiped her fingers on her handkerchief. Mina looked up.
"Hey! How goes the hunt…oh my God. Rei! It's… It's perfect! Gorgeous, beautiful. My God! Who did you steal it from?", she squealed. Rei blanched at how close Mina had come to the truth.
"Let me see!", exclaimed Ami, shooing Usagi away from her face.
She gasped. "Absolutely not!", she snapped. Everyone's head turned towards her.
"Huh? What you talking about? It's…"
"Don't you dare say no, not after all the trouble that I…"
"Ames, are you crazy? I would kill for something like that. Mamo-chan would…"
"What did I miss?", Makoto asked as she burst through the door, interrupting everyone.
"Ames doesn't want to wear the dress that we picked out for her", said Usagi tearfully.
Rei snarled, "That I picked out for her. You didn't have anything to do with it". Usagi stuck out her tongue.
"Well that's okay. I found the perfect one", said Makoto holding up the dress. Everyone held their breath. It was gorgeous, baby blue silk and backless. "And you wouldn't believe all the trouble I had to go through to get it", she said.
"Was it a redhead?", asked Rei ironically.
"Yeah, how did you – oh", said Makoto as Rei smirked and held up the identical dress. Everyone turned to look at Ami. She blushed.
"It's too… too much!", she exclaimed.
"You were meant to wear it. Everyone thinks it's perfect for you and you have the shoes to match it too", said Rei, in a tone that brooked no argument.
"Besides, you have to seduce him in order to get what you want, ne?", said Minako slyly adding to the peer pressure.
Oh, Albert. The things I do for you, Ami thought gloomily. Mina was giving her some last minute directions. It was 9:58 pm. They were parked outside the restaurant. And she was wearing the damn dress, sans bra. Peer pressure, who knew that it existed at their age? She needed to have a little bit more spine next time. Her heart was thudding against her chest. Sweaty palms and a dry throat only compounded the problem.
"Remember, tilt your head, smile, and run your foot up his leg. With! With no shoes on, Ami. Are you listening?", Mina demanded. Ami nodded.
Rei looked at Mina disbelief written across her face. "Are you crazy? Running her foot up his leg? He'll get the wrong idea! He'll want sex.", she said.
"No, not her foot. Her shoeless foot. And he won't get the wrong idea. All Ami will have to do is hit the panic button on her communicator, if he does tries anything", said Mina.
"And we'll be there to kick some ass!", said Makoto. She smiled at Ami. "Have fun honey. Luckily, for you it's a Friday night!", she said winking. Rei squawked indignantly as Usagi giggled. Sensing another round of fire from Rei, Ami hastily opened the car door.
"Bye everyone!", and she quickly got out.
"Ami wait!", said Usagi and Ami turned around.
She closed the car door, muffling the sounds of argument and took Ami's hands. They looked at each other and Usagi's face had taken an almost regal quality.
"Princess?", she queried softly. Usagi smiled in return.
"Find love", she replied and kissed her on her forehead, "You of all people deserve it". Usagi got back into the car and Ami watched as they drove off. Her friends, she thought warmly.
Read and Review.
To Moon-Daisuki, my first reviewer! Yay! Thanks for being so patient. Finals are evil! Macroeconomics must die!