Disclaimer: Not mine. Theirs.

/Remember, this means flashback/

Chapter nine: Why She Doesn't Give a Damn

Rogue saw him as soon as she climbed to the roof. He was sitting down in the alcove, one long leg stretched out, the other propped in a triangle. He was leaning his elbow on his knee, holding a cigarette to his mouth. His flickering eyes cut to her as she ascended, matching the glow of his cigarette, then went back to staring straight ahead. He looked good enough to eat.

This isn't gonna be easy, she thought. But then, what is?

She crouched down low, taking out her cell phone and using it to scan for bugs as she approached him. The area came up clean.

"Hey," she said softly.

He grunted.

"Ah'm glad ya came."

"Said Remy'd see y'."

Rogue sighed and sat down across from him, Indian style. "Look. Ah know ya've got no reason ta believe me. Ah don't even know why ya're givin' me a chance to explain myself. But Ah appreciate it. So Ah thought of a way to make it so that this ain't a total waste of our time."

For the first time since she had joined him, Remy looked up from his cigarette in interest.

Rogue extended a latex glove to him, "Ah want ya to put this on."

Remy raised one eyebrow.

"Don't even say it, Swamp Rat." Rogue blushed. She couldn't help it.

"Say what, chere?" he spoke with mock innocence.

Rogue rolled her eyes, still blushing, and took off her right glove.

Remy tensed, but Rogue was looking down at her hand. "It's so ya can feel mah pulse," she said softly. Then she looked up at him wryly, "As ya can see, Ah've yet to control mah heart rate," and she gestured to her still blushing face.

"Y' want m' ta what?"

"So ya can know if Ah'm just makin' it up." Rogue looked at him intently and bit her lip before she spoke. "Ah'm gonna tell ya stuff about meh…" she closed her eyes and exhaled wondering for a moment why she was even bothering to try and explain this. She couldn't look at him. "Things no one knows. Ah couldn't bear it if aftah all that ya still didn't believe me."

Remy extended his empathy towards her. Her shields were down and he could feel her sincerity bleeding towards him.

"Why y' doin' dis, Rogue?" he whispered.

Rogue, her eyes still closed, shook her head and gave a little half laugh, half sob, "Ah don't know. It just…feels like the right thing to do."

Again, he felt nothing but sincerity, pain, and a little bit of confusion and apprehension. She was nervous, nervous about how he'd receive what she had to say, and nervous about him touching her. He could feel how much this was costing her. He wasn't sure whether to be proud of himself for winning the game or whether to throw himself at her feet protest his unworthiness. The fresh sunlight played with the shadows on her face, her luminous eyes were still closed and he found his attention drawn to her lips. This was the first time she was offering to let him touch her. An' it's just so that I can know de truth. No more, no less. He thought about letting her know that he could read her emotions when she kept her shields down. Then he smirked, Where's de fun in dat? She offered.

The next thing Rogue felt was his latex covered hand grasping her naked one loosely around her wrist. She shivered at the contact. She could feel his warmth through the thin layer of plastic. This was the closet she had come to touching someone in so long…

Her eyelids wanted to flutter open, wanted her eyes to stare into his glorious red and black orbs and become lost in them, give herself over to simply being a woman alone with a very sexy, very creative man…But it's never that simple.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes in as business-like a manner as possible.

He was staring at her face with a strange expression--like he was torn between pleasure, self satisfaction, and pain. A lot of pain. But just as quickly as she had seen it, the expression faded into a look of indolent repose.

"Been a long time since I jus' sat an' held hands wit' a femme," he spoke with his usual lazy drawl, watching her closely.

Her lips curved upwards in a soft smile and he felt his breath catch. I could just look at her forever, she's so beautiful. … What de hell, LeBeau! Get it together!

She spoke before he could, "We'd better test it first, so ya can feel the difference between when I'm lying. Ya got mah pulse?"

He adjusted his fingers dexterously over her vein. He could feel the steady throb of her blood. Her wrists were so thin. He swallowed. "Got it. Am I hurtin' ya?"

"Nah, jus' hold it lightly an' Ah'll be OK. All right. Ask me three questions. Ah'll say 'yes' ta all of them. One of them should be a lie, one of them should be the truth, and one of them should be just ta embarrass meh."

"Chere! A true gentleman never says anyt'ing t' embarrass a lady!"

Rogue smirked, "Then either ya ain't a gentleman or ya don't think Ah'm a lady."

Remy laughed and leaned close to her, still gently clasping her wrist, "Oh Remy knows y're a lady, chere."

Rogue flushed. "Nevermind. Two questions. Ah think ya know what my heart rate is like when it's just excited now."

Remy leaned in closer, "Remy made y' excited?"

Rogue smiled sweetly, "An' all primed ta punch yer head off."

Remy pouted and didn't move away, "Remy can t'ink of better ways t' punish him."

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Pest." She moved to shove him back with her other hand, but he caught it and held it gently, all the while looking at her face.

Rogue's breath caught. She felt the warmth from his hands spread up her arms and through her body. Her lungs constricted; he was so close she could barely breathe. They sat there, staring at each other with Remy lightly holding her hands for a long moment.

"I don' wan' t' hafta let y' go, chere," he said softly. "I don' know why, but I don'."

Rogue felt a familiar sharp pain between her breasts. This time it was cased in a sheath of pleasure. He didn't want to let her go. He wanted to hear what she had to say. She had made the right choice. But… She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to ease the pain. "But Remy, no one can hold on to me."

I'm holding ya now! He wanted to shout, to whisper, to take her into his arms and show her he could kiss her. But he felt her withdrawal, he felt her pain, the pain of hope deferred over and over again. She was trying to trust, trying to reach out again after having that capacity frozen for God only knew how long. He had to let her do this. Hell, he wanted to let her do this. He wanted to own this woman in front of him; mind, heart, and body. He wanted to slip inside her the way thoughts of her had slipped inside him, past all his defenses, causing him to hope. He wasn't sure anymore if this was just a game. And if he won the prize, he didn't know if he could throw her away. A thief knows what is valuable.

But she was only letting him hold her so that she could explain why she thought something was wrong with her assignment to find information about his guild.

Remy released her gloved hand and leaned back from her again.

Rogue opened her eyes, relieved but a little disappointed that he had let her go. No, he's just getting back to business, she tried to reassure herself. "Ask your questions."

"Is yer real name Stephanie?" he said.

Rogue winced at the thought, but said. "Yes."

"Liar," he teased.

Rogue grinned, "Ya know it. Next."

"Do y' like havin' m' hold yer hand?"

"Yes." Damn him. He was grinning at her like an idiot. He is an idiot. "But don't get used ta it, Swamp Rat. This is never happening again."

"Sure," he said. "Liar."

"Ah am not lying!"

"Non, y' admitted it, chere. You're a liar and y' like havin' me holding yer hand."

Rogue exhaled. She couldn't kill him, right? She needed his help, right?

"Ah'm gonna start at the beginning--"

"A very good place to start," Remy interrupted.

"An' ya, Julie Andrews, are gonna keep quiet." She glared at him for a long moment before adding softly, "This is hard enough for me as it is."

One long finger stroked the back of her wrist.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, she thought nervously.

"Remy'll be good, chere. He promises."

"Grand." Rogue grumbled. Then she sighed. She had made up her mind to do this when she was rational, hadn't she? It was better off to go through with her plan then to back out simply because she had a too damn hot and cocky Cajun sitting across from her holding her hand.

"Ah don't remember mah birth parents. Ah'm sure Ah had 'em, but they did no more for me then give me a name and put me in an orphanage. Ah'm not gonna tell ya about the orphanage. Ah'm sure ya can figure out it wasn't the most pleasant place. When Ah was five, Ah was adopted by a woman named Irene. She lived in Caldecott County. Ah was happy with her. Ah could run wild outside but still be taught ta be a lady inside. She taught meh ta read, play the piano, an' sing. But most importantly, she taught meh how ta listen ta people, ta really hear what was going on with them. Irene was blind, ya see. Ah was happy with Irene, even though sometimes it seemed like she was two different people.

"Ah had a best friend. His name was Cody. Cody taught me how ta climb trees an' race bullfrogs an' he made me laugh until mah sides ached. Cody always listened t' me. No matter how Ah screamed at him, he always came back. He wasn't a pushover though, he stood up for himself, he just wouldn't let me make myself alone. Ah was twelve when mah powers manifested. Cody an' Ah were down by the river. He was thirteen then, but we were still racing bullfrogs. Mine won, an' Ah was jumpin' up and down. He came in real close ta me with a silly grin an' a funny look on his face.

/"What are ya doin', Cody?" Why is he lookin' at meh so strange? she thought.

"Ah'm givin' a kiss to the winner."/

"And then he leaned forward an' kissed meh on the lips. Ah was too shocked ta do anythin' about it. It was mah first kiss. Then my powers kicked in an' Ah pushed him away. But it was too late, he was lyin' there on the ground not breathin'…"

Despite herself, Rogue had to stop for a moment. She looked away from the Cajun sitting across from her. The memories flashed at her so vividly--the brief moment of surprise and pleasure, the shock, the worry, the fear, the guilt. The overwhelming damn guilt. It never went away.

And Remy felt them all with her.

She took a deep breath and said softly, "That was the last time Ah touched anyone without them gettin' hurt."

Remy opened his mouth to murmur something comforting and meaningless in the face of her pain.

Rogue saw it out of the corner of her eye, and spoke before he could, "Please don't, Remy. We'll never get through this if ya try an' comfort me every time ya hear something bad."

Remy's eyes widened, he flashed back to the first time he met her.

/"Dat why you call yourself Rogue?"

She stiffened imperceptibly, "Naw. Rogue's mah name as much as it is a warnin'." /

De stupid idiot t'inks dis is all her fault! Remy fumed. Still! She shoves people away so dat dey won't get hurt. She won't let anyone get close t' protect dem--and to protect herself so dat she doesn't have to feel that way again. Damn it, why hasn't anyone made her see it wasn't her fault?

His eyes flashed dangerously, but he held his peace. He wanted to hear what else she stupidly blamed herself for. He could wait.

Rogue was relieved that he didn't say anything. She really thought he was gonna, an' if one more person said 'it wasn't her fault' she didn't know how she was gonna react. It was her freakin' skin, wasn't it? If it wasn't her fault, whose was it? The people that she hurt? She didn't freakin' think so. It was her skin, her stupid, poisonous skin. So she continued with her story. She wondered how he'd react to this part.

"An' that was the first time…the first time Ah lost mah mind."

One of his eyebrows rose in a classic question.

"Cody was…inside me. Inside mah head. He--Ah--was so confused, Ah went back ta his house. His mama came in, saw me an' smiled--until Ah called her mama. In his voice. Then she screamed. After that…"

Rogue looked down again, no longer able to maintain eye contact as the memories threatened to overwhelm her. "After that it got bad."

/Cody's mom/my Mama was screaming, "Where is mah son? Where's mah boy!"

She was shaking him/her, hard.

"Mama? Ah don't understand, Ah'm right here!" Rogue/Cody was crying.

"This isn't funny, girl! What did ya do ta him?"

There was such terror on Cody's mom/Mama's face. He/she felt sick in her stomach. What have Ah done?

"Ah'm right here, Mama! Don't be scared. Everythin's OK."

Cody's Mom/Mama staggered away from him/her. All the blood left her face and her eyes looked glazed. "Ya-ya did somethin' ya freak of nature!" Suddenly anger flared up in her eyes. She grabbed her broom and started hitting him/her.

His/my mama was beating him/her. Screaming tears, accusations, curses on her son/Rogue. Every single one entered his/her heart and hurt more than the blows.

Finally, he/she had curled up in fetal position on the floor, and Cody's mom had stopped hitting her/him. Cody's mom was weeping still, but she managed to get to the phone and call someone.

Cody's presence started to fade in Rogue's mind. But the screams and curses of his/her mama never left her mind. She tried to stand up, and turned around, desperate to explain that she didn't mean to, that she didn't know what had happened but Cody was fine, he was down by the river, and please, God, if they would just find him and get him to the hospital he would be fine. But instead of finding Cody's mom when she turned around she saw…/

"Irene came…an' she stared at me in horror. 'My Gawd ya little monster,' she said. 'What have ya done? Cody's dead. Ah nevah shoulda took ya in.'"

Remy growled deep in his throat.

Rogue looked up at him and actually smiled for a brief minute. "Oh hush, the best part's yet ta come."

Remy blinked. Is she jokin'? I felt her--wit' t'ose words her whole world was ripped apart. Worse dan wit' me when Bella an' Julien… How can anyt'ing be 'better' dan dat?

"After that Ah ran away. Ah didn't really have anywhere ta go. Somehow, Ah got gloves an' Ah always wore 'em, even when Ah was sleepin'. Once or twice Ah had ta use mah powers…ta get men ta leave me alone."

Rogue shuddered and Remy felt her fear--still fresh--after all those years.

"Ah was runnin' from a gang when suddenly Ah crashed into a boy--he was huge, literally the largest man Ah've ever met. He growled a lil' and shoved me behind him. Ah was scared, but the shove had been gentle an' Ah figured that if he was gonna fight the gang Ah'd have a chance ta run away from both of them."

/Rogue crouched behind the large boy, trying to control her trembling.

They had found her. They circled around her and her protector like hungry wolves.

The one with the metal bat spoke first, "What do you want here, fatso?"

The boy in front of Rogue spoke. His voice was flat and angry. "The name's Blob. And mah friends an' Ah are here ta give ya an' yours a lesson in manners."

For a moment, Rogue dared to hope that--maybe--she would be safe./

"Some friends of his came out to help him fight off the gang. One of them was a lanky brunette an' the other was looked…green. The three of them absolutely demolished the gang. Nobody could touch Blob, Avalanche sent them all flying with his earthquakes, and Toad terrorized them with his tongue an' his spit. Of course, Ah didn't know their names then. Ah just knew that outa no where, three strange boys with powers stranger than mahne had come ta help me. A woman with beautiful black hair stepped out from the shadows.

"'Well done,' she said to the boys. Then she turned her attention to me. Ah was huddled against the wall, tryin' mah level best to be invisible.

"'Are you all right, child?' she said. An' for some reason, Ah trusted her. Ah don't know why. Ah still don't. But when she called me 'child' it just seemed so right.

"So Ah just nodded mah head.

"'Those aren't the last of those who would hurt you, you know,' she said. 'They just saw a pretty little girl to torment. But soon you will be hated and feared for the power that you possess. They will chase you down to the end of the earth to get you for that, if they know.'"

Remy swore softly. Rogue ignored him and continued her story.

"Ah said, 'How do ya know? About me, Ah mean.'

"'Because, child, I am like you.' Then she extended her hand ta me and her skin changed in front of mah eyes. It turned blue, layers of layers of blue folding back in front of me ta reveal a blue woman in a white dress with red, red hair. Her eyes gleamed yellow in the darkness, but Ah was not afraid.

"'That is the coolest thing Ah've ever seen,' Ah said.

"The woman laughed. 'It was a simple shape change, child. This is my true form. Your power is even greater than that. My name is Mystique. Will you come with me and let me help you learn to use it?'

"'Yes'm,' Ah said.

"'Come then.'

"An' Ah went. Later Ah thought it was strange that she never even asked me mah name. But that was typical of Mystique. By then, Ah had decided that Ah didn't want the name mah parents gave me, the name of the person who killed Cody. Ah had them call me Rogue.

"Ah learned how ta fight, how an' when ta suck mah opponents dry, an' how ta use others' powers. She always pushed me ta learn how ta use the powers that Ah got through absorbing others, always told me that havin' their psyches in mah head was a small price ta pay for the power. She had me practice on the boys. They didn't like it, but they didn't dare object. An' there was all sorts of…personal trainin' that she gave me as well. The whole time Ah was with her, she taught me everythin' she knew, even bringin' in other specialists so that Ah could be 'well rounded.' An' when Ah was ready enough--Ah think Ah was thirteen--she took me out on the field. Ah did things for her…with her…terrible things." Rogue snorted for a moment, "Ah learned how ta kill a man with a pencil in seven different ways. But she an' the boys were mah family now, an' Ah was fiercely loyal to them. Even when others joined, the boys an' Ah had a special bond. We had a 'cause' ya see. The protection of the mutant race."

/"Do you have the detonator?"

"Relax, Rocky. This is gonna be easy as pie."

"I hate pie," Avalanche grumbled.

"Did ya seal off all the exits in the lab?"

"Done and done. Toad, are all the explosives in place?"

"Roger, roger. Easier than catching dead flies in a barrel, what with the security tapes on loop."

"Then it's time to shake things up," Avalanche said. "Rogue, get out of there."

"Sure thing, sugah," she responded. "Ah'm settin' the first explosion in five minutes. Startin' now."

Suddenly the fire alarm went off in the main building. There was a mass exodus of employees, and no small amount of children. Like good little employees, they waited outside the building for the fire department to show up and give them the all clear. Little did they know that their time was quickly running out.

"Avalanche! Use your powers ta get them ta leave!" Rogue's voice came over the communicator.

"Why should I do that?" Avalanche responded. "The bomb's gonna go off in 3 minutes. It oughta clear the ground."

"There are kids down there! Now do it before Ah have ta come over there and do it mahself!"

"Fine," he grumbled. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he sent a light tremor over to where the employees had gathered.

There was screaming, running, and parents picked up their children and ran to safety.

There was pounding from inside the sealed doors of the lab. Muffled screams, pleas to be let out.

The sound of screams faded as Rogue, Avalanche, and Toad left the scene.

Time was up.

"That'll show those scientist pigs not ta experiment on mutants," Rogue said with smug self-satisfaction, watching as the building collapsed inward on itself. Then she set off the second charge. Even larger than the first, this explosion caused the remains of the building to fly outwards.

Twenty scientists were killed that day, along with 40 civilians. But that was the job./

"An' ah believed in that cause. But Ah still hated to see bystanders get hurt. With Mystique, there were no innocents, only bystanders."

/"This mission was, for the most part, a success. There was just one unexplained flaw--the fire alarm went off in the main building. How was that possible, Rogue, when I specifically told you to cut all the alarms in the facility?" The blue mutant's eyes were narrowed in suspicion.

Rogue crossed her arms defiantly, "There was a daycare facility inside the main building, Mystique. Ah wasn't about ta murder a bunch of kids."

Mystique shrugged, "If you kill them when they're children you don't have to kill them when they're adults. You needlessly jeopardized the mission by setting off the fire alarm."

"The mission's objective was to destroy the testing facility, incinerate any data they had collected, and make a point. Well, Ah'd say the trapped scientists inside the blown up building made a point. There was no need ta kill the children too."

"All that you have done today is preserve the lives of those who you will later have to subdue." Mystique stalked up to Rogue and slapped her hard on the cheek.

Rogue had seen the blow coming, but she took the punishment. She knew that fighting back was useless.

"Never risk the mission for something like this without clearing it first with me. Though I'm proud that you thought for yourself and worked out a feasible plan, be aware, Rogue, that you will not always be able to save bystanders in a war. Sometimes more dramatic statements will need to be made. This is a war for our very survival. And when I give the order, you will carry it out, no matter the age of the targets or potential collateral damage. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am." Ya're understood. But that don't mean Ah agree./

"Things stayed this way until Ah was sixteen. It was the week after mah birthday, and Mystique had got me a motorcycle. Ah couldn't sleep an' Ah never paid much attention to curfew, so Ah snuck out of mah room. Ah was gonna go for a midnight ride. With all the trainin' they had given meh, they never suspected a thing. There was a light on in Mystique's office, an' Ah heard her talking about a future mission. Never being one ta pass on findin' out some extra information, Ah quite shameless eavesdropped."

"Mystique was laying out some sort of procedure.

"'She'll sneak in while I disable the alarms. The S.H.I.E.L.D. wench won't know what hit her. When Rogue gets her hands on her to knock her out, Blob will be there. He'll keep Rogue's hands on her head until the transfer is complete. The girl has a ridiculous sense of appropriate action at times.'

"'Are you sure this is wise, Raven? We do not know the effect that a fully absorbed psyche will have on Rogue's mental stability.'

"Ah recognized that voice an' hoped that mah quick intake of breath hadn't been heard.

"'I appreciate your concern, Irene, but Rogue's a tough kid. She'll handle it. And with these new powers permanently integrated into her own, she'll be invincible.'

"'I still don't like it.'

"'Why, did you see something?'

"Hesitation, then 'It is a great risk.'

"'With an even greater benefit! This is why we adopted her in the first place, Irene! She'll be the ideal weapon.'

"That was it, Ah had heard enough. Despite encouraging me ta use everyone else's powers, Mystique had never once let me absorb her. Ah decided that tonight that was going ta change. Ah slipped off my glove and opened the door silently. Ah was inside before they knew any different, and as Mystique looked up in surprise my bare hand was pressed against her neck.

"All of her memories flooded me. Ah held on long enough so that Ah knew she'd be out clear till the next day. Irene couldn't stop me, she was blind. But she didn't say anything either. She must have known Ah was there, but she didn't cry out.

"Ah let Mystique fall ta the ground and sorted through her memories ta find the ones pertainin' ta me. It was true. Everything she had said was true. She and Irene had adopted me because Irene--Destiny--had foreseen mah powers. Ah was nothing more than a weapon ta her. That was why Irene had seemed like two people. One was Irene. One was Mystique pretending ta be Irene. That day Ah had hurt Cody it had been Mystique and she had deliberately driven me away. And now she was going ta have me murder someone. A mutant someone, a good person who worked for the government."

Rogue flexed her jaw and looked away over the edge of the building towards the horizon.

"Ah put mah glove back on. Ah wanted ta strangle Mystique with mah bare hands but gloved ones would have ta do. Ah didn't want any more of that bitch in mah head.

"Then Irene spoke. 'Cody is alive, you know.'

"Ah turned to her, 'What?'

"'He was in a comma for three months, but he survived.'

"Ah don't think that anything else would have stopped me from killin' Mystique. She had trained me ta be a weapon, after all. It didn't even matter if Ah had a name. But that stopped me. Ah knew Irene was tellin' the truth. An' it was like the world suddenly had air again.

"Without a word, Ah turned to leave. Ah was never coming back ta them.

"As Ah reached the door, Irene spoke, 'I missed you when you left, you know.'

"Without turning around, Ah spoke, 'Then ya shouldn't have let her take me. But now ya have ta let me go.'

"'Take care and fresh winds in your sails--' she spoke my name, the name that Ah hadn't heard in four years. But even though Cody was still alive, it wasn't who Ah was anymore.

"'It's still Rogue,' Ah said, and then Ah left her."

Rogue looked back at Remy and paused for a moment. "Remy?"

He had been staring past her with his jaw locked.

"Yeah?" he turned his head to look at her.

"Ya're chargin' the roof."

His jaw twitched and he glanced down quickly. Sure enough, a tell-tale pink was spreading outwards. He quickly reabsorbed the charge.

"Sorry, chere. Got a little irritated," he said.

"Ah see…" she trailed off, uncertain.

He forced out a loose chuckle, "Not at y', belle. Finish your story, den we'll talk, d'accord?"

"OK. Well, using the information Ah got from Mystique's memories, Ah made mah way ta where the SHIELD agent was. Ah figured that they were gonna come after them anyway, an' since it was partly 'cause of me Ah owed it ta SHIELD ta help."

Remy snorted.

Rogue shrugged, "What can Ah say? Ah was sixteen. Ah found the agent and told her everything. She was a little surprised that a sixteen year old girl was working with such a famous terrorist, but a small demonstration of mah skills and mah power changed her mind. Ah tapped her ta give her a taste of what Mystique had planned for her. Boy, was she pissed. She immediately called SHIELD, took me in, and wanted ta lock me up and throw away the key."

"Bitch," Remy said.

"Sush," Rogue said. "Anyway, she yelled and yelled at her boss about me for hours Ah guess. He just asked her a few questions, calmed her down, and by the time they were done she was mah biggest fan an' advocate. She knew that her powers were temptin', and that Ah could have had them completely if Ah had wanted. Mostly though, she was pissed at Mystique.

"She took me out of the holdin' cell and apologized for 'blowing a gasket' as she put it. Then she thanked me for the information and asked me was Ah was gonna do now.

"'Lie low for a while, Ah guess,' Ah said. 'Ah'm sure Mystique won't give up on me that easily. After all, she invested eleven years of her life into me.' Ah added a little bitterly. 'After that, Ah don't know. Ah ain't exactly built fo' normal life.'

"The agent looked mad again at the mention of Mystique, but she managed to speak calmly, 'Nah, you ain't built for normal life. But then, neither am I. It's not easy, but it can be fun, and it can be used for a good purpose.

"'Excuse me if Ah don't want ta be 'used' again,' Ah said.

"The agent winced and then sat down, 'Look. Do you know why absorbing me would have been a particularly good target?'

"'Your powers,' Ah stated the obvious.

"She glared at me, but said 'That. And I'm the only known mutant working for the government. If Mystique had used another mutant to take me out, it would have been war.'

"Ah followed the implications of her words. Mystique had been tryin' ta instigate a war with the very weapon that she planned on using ta win it.

"'Why do you work with the government?' Ah said.

"'When you have my powers, a desk job really ain't an option, kid. Plus, the boss saw something in me. And I see something in you. You didn't have to come and warn me. You didn't have to make me believe you. And I know that you didn't have to let yourself be locked up in a cell. But you did. You've got a huge doss of chutzpah, kid, and an even larger sense of justice.'

"Ah didn't know what ta say ta that, so Ah just shrugged.

"''Look, I'm not askin' ya to join up right away. Hell, I don't even know if they'll let you join--'

"'What do you mean, they won't let me?'

"She looked at me askance. 'Mutant. Government. See a problem?'

"'Ya are.'

"'Yeah, and I'm the only one, kid.'

'"It shouldn't be that way.'

"'No, it shouldn't. Wanna do something about it?'

"'Ah laughed, 'Very cute, but Ah ain't buying.'

"The agent shook her head. 'I wasn't tryin' to trick ya, kid. It's just your hyperactive sense of justice. Like I was saying, if they let you join, you'll be incredibly useful. You've been trained by the enemy. If you were trained by us too, then…yeah, you'd be real good, kid. And your powers would be an asset as well, but we wouldn't ask you to use them like she did. And you'd always have a choice.'

"'An' Ah'd always need ta know all the information before Ah went. Ah mean, imagine if Ah had just assumed Mystique knew what she was doing an' went out on my bike? Ya'd be inside mah head by now.'

"The agent shuddered. 'I'd make sure you always knew it.'

"Ah stared at her. Then Ah said, 'On those terms, Ah'll consider it.'

"The agents eyebrows shot up. Ah really don't think she had expected that easy a win.

"So Ah considered it. An' a few weeks later, Ah joined. After all, what else was Ah gonna do? They tested meh first, ta see how good Ah was. It irritated the crap out of most of them that Ah was better than nearly all their field agents. They wanted ta run tests on mah mutation. Ah told them hell no. They backed off.

"Ah worked with them on the inside for two years before Ah got a field commission. Oh, an' Ah got mah GED. For some reason, the boss was real particular about that.

"The other mutant agent and Ah set up a proposal for an elite team of trusted mutants ta keep an eye on the other mutants out there--the ones that would use others ta stir the world into a war. The ones that would hurt people just because they can. We got our way. We're technically independent of SHIELD. Ah'm not sure who we report ta, exactly. So these past four years, we've been doing just that."

Rogue gently withdrew her hand from Gambit's grasp. "Ah could do with some coffee."

"Is Remy allowed t' speak now?" he said.

"Only if he gets me coffee. There's one last chapter Ah hafta tell ya before ya'll understand it all…but first Ah need coffee."

"As mon belle wishes," his smile was a little strained.

Rogue leaned back against the wall and muttered, "Ah ain't yours, Cajun."

He heard her and gave her a true grin as he slipped down the side of the building to retrieve some coffee. He was glad she had sent him away. He needed some space. Each and every memory that she had uncovered, he had felt along with her. He never dreamed that he would know her so intimately without knowing her intimately. It was like she had let him crawl around on the inside of her heart, revealing all the treasures that she made from her shattered pain. But she didn't know dat she did dat. She doesn't know about m' empathy. I'm a t'ief, slipping in where I don't belong again.

Somehow, for the first time in a long time, that bothered him. So he actually paid for their coffees. He dumped packets of sugar in hers--he knew she liked it sweet--and then added just a hint of cinnamon.

I need t' sort dis out. In order t' do dat, I need t' stop wantin' ta hunt down and kill de salope who did this t' her and t'ink. OK, first of all--she's tellin' me dis so dat she can prove dat she really doesn't give a damn over de fact dat I'm a t'ief. How does dis do dat? She's tellin' m' she was once a terrorist. She doesn't see de harm in what I do, she only sees the harm in what she did. And so dat's what she's goin' after: people who were like her and de people who made her like she was. That's a heavy load to bare, mon cherie. How do y' walk so strong and so alone? No wonder your eyes are sad.

I wonder if every time she takes one of dem down, if she sees herself for a minute first. I wonder if she wishes someone had taken her down too.

Of course. Why else join SHIELD.

Merde, Rogue. Ya've gotta cut yourself a break.

But she would say 'Why else would I have been given skin no one can touch? I'm not a human, I'm a breathing weapon.'

Part of her believes it.

But part of her loses herself in sensation, in dancing and music and water and fighting hand t' hand. She fights de part dat believes it wit' dat part.

What does she feel when I touch her?

Redemption? Desire--not for me, but ta be something dat she isn't? He didn't like that thought one bit. Or does she feel like she doesn't deserve it. Or does she crave touch so much dat she doesn't care what she feels?

Merde, Rogue! Dere's so much more ta y' den dat! Dere's your laughter and your wit. Dere's de way you soak up beauty wherever you go. Dere's de way your eyes crinkle when ya try an' hold back a grin. Dere's de way ya tease me, de way y' accept me--accept everyone. Dere's de way dat ya care enough t' keep yourself shut away. Dere's your courage when ya take a risk wit' your heart, wit' your life, just by doing dis. Dere's de way y' dance in a crowded club like no one's watching. De way ya sing ta yourself when ya walk. Mon Dieu, Rogue, there's so much more ta y' den your skin!

Dat's jus' great, LeBeau. Now how ya gonna tell all dat t' her?

That, he decided, was the most important question he had come up with yet.

Translation: salope: bitch

AN: OK, I know that that whole pulse thing probably wouldn't work at all in real life. Humor me. It was a fun plot device. And it got Remy holding her hand!
And no offense if your name is Stephanie. It's a great name. I just don't think Rogue would like it for herself.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I think that I got my attitude and about Rogue and the guild from the end of The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan. Most of the movie was (in my opinion) dull as dirt, but the ending was very cool. Oh, and I think I can trace the inspiration to that bit about the pencil to Eileen Blazer's "Freedom Caper."
So now we understand why knowing all the information is so important to Rogue and why she's so suspicious when Carol won't give it to her. It was one of her conditions for joining, after all, and Carol really ought to have enough trust in Rogue's judgment to tell her everything. Why won't she? You'll have to wait to find out…
Well, not much Romy in this, but a few quite helpful revolations on both their sides, wouldn't you say?
Favorite line: "Ah wanted ta strangle Mystique with mah bare hands but gloved ones would have ta do." Though I like that bit about him grinning like an idiot and being an idiot too..

Review Responses:

wrapped in banana foil:
Yeah, I'll listen to the story but I'll keep Pete in mind. Congrats on being my first reviewer! And thanks for the congrats on 2 months…wow, time flies when you're having fun. I'm glad you liked the Shirley Temple and whiskey thing, it was meant to be poignant, and so I'm glad it succeeded!
What story do you have to go and read now? Well, here's some more plot thickener, what did you think?
ishandahalf
Crack bunnies smiling down on me…I have to say, that's a rather eerie and nightmarish image…little bunnies peeping out from the corners of the ceiling, grinning maniacally, urging me to write before they pounce… :shudder: LOL, well, I'll take what I can get. Truth is though, this stuff's the good stuff, and I've had big chunks of it written for months now.
I'm glad you liked my little twist. I told you I was gonna try something a little different with the playing carousel, and, well, there it is. So I'm glad you're enjoying the way it's working out. Yay!
Heh heh, I'm glad you liked that line about rearranging rich people's toys. I thought of it while I was working and had to rush and find something to write it down with before I forgot it.
I can understand your hesitation in not trusting Remy…it's probably wise…at least at this point. But cards on the table do make for an interesting game…
So what do you think? Are they any closer to "figuring it out?"
And hey, I think I got four "dun dun duhh's" in a row! How cool is that? (Grin)
addtothenoise
Glad you loved it! Hope you liked this bit too.
Realtfarraige
Heh heh. I liked that line too. It was a huge motivating factor in writing enough to get to that point, just so I could share it. And believe me, I know what you mean.
Feel free to rain down fun Irish-isms that I have to ask you what they mean. I love finding out slang from other cultures. So, here's the beginning of some history…what say you?
Roguechere:
(Grin) Glad you liked it. I think it's fun. Something refreshing about honesty…and it works for the story, I think. Cool beans on the writing similarity thing. I'll have to check that story out sometime soon. So, here's the beginning of some answers…what say you?
They-Call-Me-Orange
Cool, I'm really glad you like it! Some of your questions I can answer, some would spoil the story, so…I haven't really read the comics, but I've done a lot of online research on them--but personality I'd have to say that they're like neither. In this history line, I've changed enough significant events in their lives to really change some key facets of personality. I got into X-Men off of the 90s cartoon. So, I'm not really working off of a comic understanding--that's kinda why I put this in Evo, because I just don't know enough about the comic history to do them justice. Why don't you let me know at the end, what you think they were most like? That would be fun for me. So, thank you, I'm glad you've enjoyed. I hope you continue to do so.
Check--one vote for a fiery death for Emma Frost. I was thinking about boiling oil, but fiery death is good too…
Eileen
Note to self: Do not tease Eileen about her cruelness to characters, else you will give her evil ideas.
Yes, but you really do make me laugh--in a very, very good way. And what do you mean they're not doing The Pheonix? How can they not be? And I could have sworn I read somewhere about a Gambit cameo and they just haven't cast him yet…but considering how they wrecked Rogue, they'd probably wreck him too and cause massive jaw gnashing throughout the land…
Thanks for the comment clarification! I just wasn't sure if it was sarcastic or not but now that I know it wasn't, I'm glad! Yay!
I am one of those people who looks at the color code thingys and goes--ooo, shiney. I wish I was organized enough to use those. Truth is, these bits have had chunks written and now I'm just filling them out. It'll be slower again soon. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but hey… you're allowed to enjoy and grumble at the same time. That's always fun.
I'm glad you wanted Rogue to hit Remy over the head with the whiskey bottle. I also, really wanted Rogue to hit him over the head. So did she. But he was the target and she's too good at her job to alienate him--at that point. Too bad he didn't come over after she had had a few shots. He totally deserved it, and I have this mental image of the shock on his face with the whiskey dribbling down from his head and little glass shards stuck in his hair…yeah…anyway…
Heh heh, well, he had to have a reason for telling her that he knew, and him not wanting her to want him to go was the best one I could think of.
Thanks for the get-well-teddy bear thought! I did SO read your review all the way through, and was also quite amazed at the potential Starbucks wrap around.
Thanks for pointing out what lines you liked. That's so fun for me.
So, here's the beginning of the famed "we need to talk, can you meet me at Starbucks" conversation. What say you?
rubic-cube
Thank you very much! I'm glad you loved it. OK, about the touching thing--Remy did touch her all the way back in chapter four, Rogue just didn't know it and Remy is starting to figure it out…
Bored247:
(Grin) Finally, some answers, huh? Well, I'm glad I was able to help with that whole 'patience' thing, I guess. So, what do you think? Don't worry, there are more answers in the next chapter. Thanks, I'm really glad you love it. That makes me happy.
WolvGambit Le Diable Blanc
Here's more. Hope you enjoy.
Spicy Sweet
Thank you very much for your review! I hope you feel better! And that you liked this bit too.
Chained2aMask
Eeep! Just READING the ingredients to that torture actually causes physical pain. I'm impressed.
(Grin) And thanks! Hope you enjoy this one too.
Kitrazzle Fayn
He's the target, yes, but the op stinks and she needs help and well, since he knows anyway…maybe they can help each other? Lol, that's what I'm going with anyway. Glad you loved the title! It makes me happy, as well as the whiskey bottle, which I really wish she could have actually done. Thanks much, and enjoy!
Kouchou no Kouken
Good, I'm glad you'll have a go at reviewing the whole thing. I'll look forward to that, when you get around to it.
See, I was also going for Anna-Marie, but that sounds like a mouthful to me, and so I just don't know…(I agree with you about the movie version of Rogue. Who IS she and WHY? Ick.) Oh, the two names are a good idea too…I like it.
Yes, I think you did mention that you liked how I handled the FORCE thing, and thank you.
What? Rogue could breathe in space? I didn't know that… Oh, you ask " How come Remy doesn't know she's being serious when he turns on his empathy when they talk?" You mean when she's telling him to go away in the alley? He does know she's serious--and that's what scares him into telling her about his knowledge of her in FORCE. That whole "you don't want me to go away" thing was just a set-up. Sorry that wasn't clear!
Thanks for the tip about Works. I'll work on it--probably end up going back and putting them in or something…
I saw your review in Stolen Hearts. That blip of a teaser I did way back when--and it was a great review. I know I didn't write very much in that thing, but you picked up on all the things that you liked as well as answering my question (very well) in the author's note. So you are thorough in that you point out what you like and what you think could be better. It's a good thing, and I enjoy reading your reviews. Although not being threatened by weasels. :0)
LOL, I'm glad you loved that chapter. I really like it too. Yeah, I understand the whole assumption thing, and more of Rogue's reasons for being suspicious will be unfolded in coming chapters--I kinda wanted her "I don't give a damn" to be a surprise to everyone. So I'm glad it worked.
I attribute Rogue not blowing a fuse to her extreme emotional exhaustion and the fact that she needs help and sees that he can give it to her. (I rely a lot on her professionalism and training for Remy's continued existence in this story.) Plus, Remy's hotness might have a factor there. Glad you liked that whole 'dropping of a bombshell' scene. It's the one that made me write the story, so, yeah, I'm really glad you liked it.
Ooo, this sentence is intriguing, care to elaborate? "And best of all, you did that wonderful thing you do with the way they handle each other."
And of course Remy's going to help Rogue. It's in his best interests in so many ways. (Smirk)
Eleanora Vera Anne Nicole Beatrix is a very pretty name. I like it a lot. But I can see where the abbreviation comes in handy.
enchantedlight
Thank you! Enjoy!
Sweety8587
LOL. Well, I'm glad you like it!
Pie in the snout, huh? Is it, by any chance, an exploding pie?
Fingers905
Ah yes. Marvel Girl. How could I have forgotten. Glad you liked the chapter! Hope this one continues on that trend.
Chica De Los Ojos Cafe
Hey, welcome back! I'm really glad you're enjoying it! Hope you like this one too.