Disclaimer: Meaning: to disclaim. To say, I do not own. To plead: Don't sue, they belong to you!
/Remember, I mean flashback/
Chapter 10: Almost Touching
Making his way unobserved to the roof with two coffees in hand was a little trickier than he had thought. But there was a reason why they called him the Prince of Thieves, and Remy managed it with only minimal effort.
Rogue was leaning back against the raised edge of the roof, clasping her knees to her chest, her eyes still closed. Apparently, she hadn't heard him land on the roof as her eyes were still closed.
They opened when his shadow fell across her face.
Wordlessly, he extended her the coffee and hunkered down beside her, his back resting on the adjoining wall.
A companionable silence fell over them as they each took quiet sips of their coffee.
Rogue's eyes widened after her first mouthful, "Oh, ya remembered Ah liked it with sugar."
Remy grinned at her, "Yeah, dat must be why you're so sweet."
She looked at him skeptically, "Now ya know that's just not true."
"After hearing what y' just said, I'm even more convinced dat it's true," he responded carelessly, not even bothering to be concerned with the fact that the complement was actually sincere.
Rogue shook her head, "You're nuts."
"Bout y'."
"Wow, would ya like some wine ta go with that cheese?"
Remy laughed at her, his eyes crinkling at the edges, "You're something else, Rogue."
"Don't Ah know it," she growled back at him.
"Can I ask y' a question?"
"Sure," she shrugged. Her eyes were slightly wary, but determined. She was set on being honest with him.
What do you feel when I touch you? Remy chickened out. "So if you're de one who helped put dis mutant team toget'er, does dat mean you're in charge?"
Rogue snorted. "Hardly. Ah mean, mah boss has always had a lot of respect for me and she listens ta mah opinions, at least, until recently… No, we've always worked on more of a coordinated effort…different people bringing up different information, then we'll meet about it an' mah boss will decide which situation we deal with, unless somethin' pressin' comes up first. Then the person whose problem gets chosen takes the second position on the op. The guy workin' on this one, he's, well…" Rogue trailed off, trying to find the right words to describe Bishop.
"Got a stick shoved up his ass?" Remy offered helpfully.
"Well…kinda. We had been workin' on him, though, me an' Kit…"
Remy perked up at the first name he's heard since she started talking about her team
"Kit?"
"Yeah…Kitty Pryde. Mah best friend." Rogue suddenly found the floor very interesting.
"If she's your best friend, den why do y' look so sad?
Rogue's mouth twisted in a bitter smile. "Ah, the perfect segue. How often does that happen?"
There was silence as they each just sat there, taking sidelong glances at each other and loud sips of coffee.
"So, y' gonna tell me?"
"Wouldn't be fair not ta, now."
His brow furrowed, "Y' don't always have t' worry about being fair, y' know."
"So ya don't want ta hear it?"
"Non, non, I'm not saying dat." Remy raised his hands defensively.
"Then shut up," she grinned.
"Y' gonna give me your hand again?" he cocked his eyebrows and gave her an inviting grin.
"Still need proof Ah'm tellin' the truth?"
"Nah, but I wanna hold your hand."
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Please, Cajun. Like that's a good reason."
"I t'ink it is. But I can t'ink of a way t' improve it if y' don't."
"Oh yeah?" Rogue quirked her eyebrows at him.
"Yeah."
Their gazes locked in challenge. Then Remy began to sing a rendition of Beatles' "I wanna hold your hand."
The first few bars were in five different keys. He was exaggerating each word with a pathetic expression on his face and sounded absolutely ridiculous.
Rogue was laughing so hard at him that her sides began to hurt. "Stop, stop!" she gasped between giggles.
"Y' gonna let me hold your hand?" Remy looked at her expectantly.
"Nope!"
He started singing again.
"All right, all right already." Rogue extended her naked hand.
But instead of clasping her wrist, he entwined his thinly-covered fingers with hers and pulled the hand to rest on his lap.
"That's not what Ah had in mind, Cajun."
"Mais, it's so much less dan what I had in mind, y' should be disappointed."
Rogue blushed and decided to leave it alone. Is it possible, after all that, he still wants me?
Remy felt the stirrings of confusion and desire--but what got his attention most was something that he very rarely felt from Rogue. Relief and…hope. He squeezed her hand gently and ran his thumb over hers.
"Go ahead and finish your story, Rogue."
She smiled at him, but then her eyes glazed over and all the peaceful feelings he was picking up from her left. He felt anger, grief, the aching pain of loss, and worst and most annoying of all, that ever present guilt.
Merde, chere. Y' can't take care of the world yaself, ya know.
Rogue began to talk, "Ah met Kitty when she was seventeen, Ah was nineteen. She had hacked her way into SHIELD for fun and found the files there 'bout FORCE. As ya can guess, this caught our attention, Civies ain't even supposed ta know about SHIELD, let alone FORCE. Anyway, after findin' out about us, she sent us an e-greetin' card with a big ol' yellow smiley face on it. Just about when we were gonna go and have a serious talk with her, she showed up on our doorstep, wantin' ta join.
"We learned that she had been with Xavier's for the past two years, gettin' some training with her mutation, but then something happened. She never spoke of why she left, except to say that his dream of mutant human harmony was all very well and good, but that it didn't take care of enough day to day problems in order to be practical in the real world.
"Of course, she didn't tell me this until much later. When we first met, she talked like a valley girl, acted as if she didn't have a brain in her head. But she couldn't fool us, we knew better because of how she had gotten our attention."
Rogue shook her head. "She wore pink ta our first training session. Pink. An' Ah swear the words 'like' and 'totally' alternated with every other word she said. Ah couldn't figure out what she was tryin' ta hide so badly with her ditzy act. Later Ah learned…it was helplessness. She felt like the world was goin' ta hell an' no matter how hard she fought, she couldn't stop it. She wasn't even sure she was able ta fight. She didn't think she was good enough. Ah managed ta convince her otherwise."
/It was around three in the morning and Rogue couldn't sleep. Ever since the new recruit had shown up, Carol had asked Rogue to stay in the FORCE base. Which wouldn't have been so bad…if it wasn't miles underground. She was definitely going stir crazy, and if she left the base at this hour there she would need to make unnecessary explanations…
Rogue decided to go into the kitchen and get a snack.
Kitty was sitting on a stool on the island in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by various bags of junk food, her elbows on the table and her face in her hands.
"What are ya doin' down here?"
Kitty looked up at Rogue, her face blank, her eyes miserable.
"Did you see me in that training sequence today? They got me out in the first five minutes! I just feel so…useless, ya know?"
Oh, so that's what it is, Rogue thought.
"Can ya phase through that cookie jar and get me a cookie, sugah?" Rogue asked.
Kitty gave her a puzzled and slightly hurt look, but did as she requested.
Rogue took the cookie and said, "What's ta stop ya from doin' that ta a beatin' heart?"
Kitty stilled, looking at Rogue a little wary, a little shocked. "It would be wrong."
"Kitty, when you're fightin' for your life, there is no 'wrong.' Ya're just lookin' at your mutation from the wrong perspective. Ya can phase through bullets, lasers, water, and fire. Ya can disable complex machines with a touch. Ya can strand your opponents in walls, in the ground, disabling them and enabling ya ta continue ta fight an' then come back ta them later for questioning. All the while without takin' a single hit. Sure, ya hafta get close ta someone or something in order for ya powers ta work. So does Carol, so do Ah. But nothing can stop ya from gettin' close enough ta work. Ya ain't only untouchable, Kitty. Ya're unstoppable."
She looked at Rogue with wide eyes. "I never thought of it that way."
Rogue offered the younger girl a half-smile. "Ah know. But Mystique trained me to see things that way. Ah know ya'd be a formidable opponent. Look, Ah know that Xavier helped ya ta control your mutation. An' that's great. But from what Ah understand about the X-men, y'all didn't go out pickin' fights with the nasties. We do. We try an' get there before anything ever happens, so that nobody hears of it. Ya need ta learn ta think differently, learn ta see everythin' an' use everythin' ya see ta your advantage.
"How can I do that?"
Rogue let out a breath. She knew that Carol would probably recommend sending Kitty back to SHIELD for basic training. But the girl sitting in front of her was so bright, Rogue felt like that would be a waste. Besides, they'd just teach her more rules and regulations. For Kitty ever reach her full potential, she needed to learn how to see around them…
"Ah can teach ya, if ya want."
Kitty's eyebrows shot up, "Really?"
"Yeah. But don't expect it ta be easy."
"Why are you, like, helping me?"
"Ya're mah teammate. Ah help ya, Ah help mahself."
"Riight."
Rogue grinned, "Good, you're already learnin' ta be suspicious. Don't ever let that go."
Kitty still just looked at her skeptically.
"Look, ya wanna do this or not?"
"Like, totally," and then she grinned, her eyes lit with determination./
"Ah told her the truth, that we wouldn't have taken her in if we didn't think she'd be of use. Then Ah started trainin' her. Sure, Xavier had helped her with physical trainin', but there was still so much that she needed ta know in order to be able to survive in our world.
"So Ah taught her how ta think like a weapon, a spy. An' as Ah helped her toughen up and learn to see things differently, she did the same for meh. She helped teach me that it was OK ta just be a girl. She made me have late night movie-a-thon sleepovers complete with masks and toenail painting and MnMs and popcorn. She was the one who talked me into goin' dancing. She would get into hour long discussions about which actor was hot and who was not. Ah had never been allowed ta think that way before. Sometimes, Ah just wanted ta drain her dry. But then one day she pointed out that those actors were just as untouchable for her as they were to me. And then she started going off about Vin Diesel…"
Rogue laughed and shook her head. "An' Ah couldn't help but add ta the conversation."
Remy rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, Kitty started dating a guy that we met on a mission. After that, she, umm, began to encourage me to start workin' on controllin' mah mutation."
/Kitty didn't even knock. She phased right through Rogue's door and grabbed Rogue by the shoulders, phasing her through the wall.
"What the--"
"Now just shut-up and listen, Rogue. You're my best friend and you know that I admire you more than practically anyone else in the world. You've helped and you've taught me so much. You're smart, funny, and you don't take anything from anyone. But one thing that drives me nuts about you is the way that you just lie down and take it when it comes to your mutation. Yeah, you got a shitty hand--
Kitty never used ta curse. Must be Pete's influence. Hell, she had probably practiced this speech with him.
"--and you've found ways to live around it. But there's no reason why you shouldn't fight it, why you can't at least try to learn to control it."
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Well it ain't like Ah've got a line of willin' test subjects, linin' up an' sayin' 'Please suck the living essence out of mah body so that ya can learn ta touch people.' Not ta mention the joy of havin' ta tame down a new psyche after any an' every unsuccessful test!"
Kitty put her hands on her hips. "Bullshit. Learn how to do it so that it doesn't hurt better, I'll be your test subject and I'll make my psyche go quietly into the night. You've got to at least try, Rogue. You don't let anything else keep you down. Why should you let this? At least fight it."
"Don't ya think Ah have?" Rogue gritted.
"Well, you're not now. Weren't you the one who told me to never stop fighting until you'd won?"
The two friends stared at each other for a long time in silence.
"Damn it, Ah hate it when ya use mah own words against meh.
Kitty grinned cheekily, "You can't help being right most of the time. Just be glad that I'm here to kick your butt into shape when you're not."
"Hmph. Let me out, an' Ah'll show ya how ta really kick butt, Kit-kat."
"Oh, I don't think so. Rogue didn't raise no fool." A wink and then she quickly phased back through the door. /
"It's because of her that Ah can control what Ah take, now, an' why it doesn't hurt as much when Ah absorb people, now. We were going to start workin' on makin' it so that Ah could practice touchin' without absorption. We had no idea how that was gonna go, but Ah had made so much progress with everythin' else, it seemed like the next thing ta try.
"Then, three months ago, Ah got a tip off on some mutant terrorist activity in middle America. Mystique's group was going to let off a biological weapon in the middle of a NASCAR race. Do ya know how many people from all over attend those? Hundreds of thousands, flocking from all over the country. It's not bad enough that they all would have been effected, but they would have spread the agent back to wherever they had come from. Of course, we weren't about ta let that happen.
"Ah split up the team, sendin' the telepaths an' the science expert ta clear the area. The rest of 'em Ah sent ta deal with the Brotherhood while Ah located the bomb. After all, Ah knew Mystique, Ah knew where she would plant it. Disabling that bomb was our first priority. If Ah was wrong in guessing where she had placed it, Ah would track her down and suck the information out of her.
/"Do you know how much fun it is to watch ten thousand people fleeing their worst fear? All in their heads, of course."
"That's nice, White Queen. Beast, did ya set off the alarm?"
"Affirmative, Rogue."
"Ms. Marvel, how's it comin'?"
"The boys seem disappointed that you didn't come out to play, Rogue," Carol said.
Rogue heard the sound of Fred Dukes grunting in pain over Carol's communicator. She winced a little. Rogue hated fighting the Brotherhood.
"Iceman's got Boom Boom, Bishop's got Pyro, and Shadowcat's taking Avalanche. How's disabling that bomb coming?"
"It'd be better if it didn't have so many of the same colored wires," Rogue responded, frowning at the complex timing mechanism.
"How much longer do we have?" Carol asked.
"Five more minutes," Rogue said. "Don't worry, Ah'll get it. Ya just take care out there."
Rogue heard the sound of someone hitting a brick wall. It was probably Carol. She had discounted Fred too soon.
The sooner Ah get this done, the sooner Ah can get out there an' help 'em./
"Ah found the bomb without a problem. It was situated deep in the ventilation system, in order to facilitate the spreading of the bio-weapon. Disabling it proved to be a bit trickier than Ah had expected, but, like Ah said, Mystique had taught meh everything she knew. An' Ah accessed a friend's psyche ta help meh out.
"The bomb was defused and the Brotherhood was defeated. The mission was an easy success. Everyone was accounted for except Kitty, Avalanche, and Mystique. As soon as Ah heard that, something tightened in mah gut. Ah knew that Kitty could take care of Avalanche, but Mystique? Her first priority would be savin' her own skin and not worryin' about anyone who got in her way. Ah tried to contact Kitty on her communicator. She didn't respond. Ah ran ta her last known location.
/Rogue ran deeper and deeper into the basement of the coliseum. Piles of loose rubble marked the way that Avalanche had come and she wasn't too surprised to see a dazed Lance phased halfway through the ground.
She heard talking from around the corner.
"Mission accomplished, Kit-cat. It's time ta get goin'."
It was her own voice./
Rogue swallowed, looking down. "Mystique had…approached Kitty in a form that she would trust. Mine."
/Rogue knew that if she shouted a warning, Mystique would immediately attack. She didn't know if Kitty would be quick enough to automatically phase. She had no knowledge of the situation around the corner.
Rogue decided to sneak in and hoped to give Kitty some sort of warning before distracting Mystique./
"Ah snuck into the room, making sure that Mystique didn't see meh. I saw that Kitty had wrapped a careful arm around Mystique's shoulders. It looked like she had a twisted ankle."
/"Why are we going out this way? Shouldn't we rejoin the team?" Kitty asked as Mystique/Rogue led her away from the others.
"Shortcut," Mystique/Rogue said. /
"Ah wasn't quick enough. Kitty had started questioning Mystique. She was too smart and still too naïve for her own good. Ah took a breath to shout 'Phase!' knowing that she would listen. But Mystique saw meh first."
/Rogue watched her/Mystique's eyes narrow in a moment of calculation. Two opponents stood between her and freedom. While a hostage would have been useful, it wasn't worth risking her freedom. She had the means of eliminating the most immediate risk in her hands.
All this passed through Rogue/Mystique's eyes so quickly, that her decision was made even as Rogue shouted, "Phase, Kit! Phase!" /
"Mystique attacked Kitty even as Ah shouted to warn her. It wasn't enough."
/Mystique/Rogue tripped Kitty, and using the momentum followed through with a brutal blow to the trachea.
Kitty's body dropped to the ground with a muffled thud./
"Ah saw the attack, but Ah was helpless ta stop it. Ah knew that move, Ah had been taught it, and Ah watched mah body execute it flawlessly. There was no way that Kitty was still alive. Still, Ah threw a physic blast at Mystique, knocking her back, and ran to take Kitty's pulse."
/Rogue's hands were trembling as she reached down for a pulse.
Kitty's face was so pale…except for her mouth where blood had just stopped gurgling, spilling over her lips and dribbling down onto her chin.
Rogue didn't need to take Kitty's pulse. Just looking into her lifeless, vacant eyes was enough. She was dead.
Rogue turned to find Mystique. And it was a good thing too, because the blue woman had recovered and was attempting to slink off./
"Ah lost it. Ah ran to intercept Mystique."
/"Ya bitch. Ya're gonna pay for that."
Mystique morphed. "You so sure about that, Rogue?"/
"Then Mystique took on Kitty's form. She couldn't help tauntin' meh with it, Ah suppose. Or she thought it would save her, distract meh, give her a chance ta get away. All it did was push meh into a place Ah've only been once or twice before. Every one else around meh started moving so slowly, and everythin' was clear and sharp. Precise. Ah knew that she wasn't Kitty, that Kitty was dead and that she had killed her, and that she had killed her lookin' like meh.
"Maybe Mystique would have stood a chance before that. After that…there was no way in hell. Ah killed her."
/Rogue accessed two of her psyches: super speed and super strength.
Mystique didn't stand a chance./
"She was mah mother. She took meh in and raised me. She murdered and betrayed mah best friend. An' Ah killed her."
/Mystique was an excellent hand-to-hand fighter. One of the best. But she had poured years of her life into training Rogue to be a perfect weapon. And that training had not been wasted.
Mystique managed to land a kick on Rogue's side.
Rogue grunted, then smirked and continued to attack. She didn't concentrate on striking killing blows, Rogue's intention was to beat Mystique into a ragged pulp.
Mystique realized that this was a battle she could not win. She threw a handful of exploding powder in Rogue's face and turned to run.
But when she turned around, Rogue was there. She had used her super-speed to avoid the powder and her knowledge of Mystique's techniques to anticipate the direction she was going to turn.
Rogue landed a solid punch in Mystique's side, hearing the ribs break. Then she really started fighting./
"Ah cut her down like she was no more than a rabid dog."
/Mystique had fallen to the ground, thoroughly beaten, too weak to even stand on her own, let alone struggle.
Rogue picked her up by the neck and slowly began to squeeze.
She stared straight into Mystique's eyes, unblinking, as the light began to disappear from her yellow eyes./
"An' the terrible thing is…Ah'm not sorry for it. Ah know Ah should be. She was mah mother, she was a life. But Ah'm not sorry she's dead. Ah'm not sorry Ah killed her. An' that terrifies me."
/As Mystique's last breath rattled out of her throat, a strange calm came upon her face. She looked at Rogue with a faint gleam of triumph glowing in her fading yellow eyes. Then Mystique's eyes rolled back in her head and she died.
Rogue felt Mystique's windpipe crush in her hands. She dropped the body to the ground./
"Because that means some part of what she did ta me worked. A human being would feel remorse about killin' her mama. Ah just wish Ah had gotten ta her sooner. All mah life Ah tried ta fight what she did ta me, what mah skin does ta people… But it's too late. Her trainin' was successful. There's a part of me that's nothing more than a weapon, waitin' ta be used. An' it's a lot bigger than Ah would like. An' Ah can lose ta it. An' sometimes, Ah'm scared that's all there is, that anythin' else is just a mask Ah put on so Ah can keep on livin'. An' if that's true, then Ah should do the world a favor an' stop tryin'. Because Ah'm too dangerous ta fall into anyone's hands."
Rogue wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. She stared at him with dry eyes as empty as a skeleton's sockets. She was emanating pain and guilt and self-loathing for what she knows she's been, what she knows she can become…
Remy wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know how. He suddenly understood exactly why she hates her mutation. Not being able to touch is the easiest part of it to deal with. He wants to reach for her, to hold her against him and let her cry, assure her that weapons don't ever doubt like she's doubting, that she's flesh and blood and human like him, and anyone could see that it was Mystique who had been messed up, who had messed her up, and that Mystique deserved to die, and if Rogue hadn't killed her he would have hunted Mystique down and killed her himself… He had too much to say, and wasn't able to say anything at all.
Then his chance was gone as Rogue blinked, and that fire that he's so enraptured with returned to her gaze--it's full of acceptance, passion, and forgiveness…for anyone but herself. Before he can speak, she's forging on, shifting the focus off of her confession and on to her original point.
"So now ya see why Ah really don't care what you do. Ah ain't in no position to judge ya, and Ah don't judge the ones Ah take down. Ah just stop 'em. Ah've got other things to worry about, like who Mystique was workin' for, an' so does my team. So Ah can't for the life of meh figure out why so much time and energy is being put into finding out how to crush your Guild. They're telling me that y'all are working on something 'big' but all that Ah've seen is unrelated, very classy, heists. It doesn't make any sense!"
Sensing that any attempt to talk about what she had just revealed to him would be violently shot down by Rogue, Remy only responded to the matter at hand, "Maybe ya only saw what we wanted y' t' see."
Rogue raised an eyebrow skeptically, "Ya gonna tell meh that y'all are trying ta take over the world?"
"Non."
"That you're trying ta make mutants the dominant species through genocide?"
"Non."
"That you're running around killing people for the heck of it?"
"Non. Not even de Assassins do dat."
"So why the heck should Ah care what ya do?"
"Y' don't care 'bout me?"
Rogue banged her head against the wall that she was resting against. "That's not what Ah meant and ya know it."
Remy smirked, "So ya do care about me."
Her eyes narrowed into slits. "It's all about ya, huh Cajun?"
"Oui. Stop avoiding de question."
"What do ya think?" Rogue gritted sweetly.
"I t'ink you're madly in love with me an' dat de only reason why your ot'er hand is folding into a fist right now is so ya can avoid jumping me an' having your wicked way wit' me."
"Ya are such a moron," she couldn't help but laugh.
"Takes one t' know one, chere."
"What do ya mean by that?" Rogue said cautiously.
"I mean what kind of moron takes de responsibility for de acts of every one around dem? It's hard enough being responsible for what ya can control, let alone what ya can't."
"Don't ya think Ah know that?" she hissed and yanked her naked hand out of his grip, moving to put on a glove.
He caught her wrist before she could do it.
"Don't." His eyes locked on hers, intense, passionate. Don't shut me out again.
"Get off of me." She meets his gaze, her eyes narrowed.
"I ain't on ya, chere. But I can fix that," and like a blink he had her pinned to the floor, trapping her legs with his and pressing her wrists to the floor. "Dere. Now I'm on y'."
"Oh goody," Rogue said flatly. "Now get off."
"Non, I'm comfortable. Y' nice an' soft, mon cherie." Remy let his body relax against hers, teasing her with a faint press of his form against hers.
"I ain't yours!" Rogue shouted and bucked him off of her.
He hadn't been expecting that, and the sudden press of her body fully flush against his stirred him so that he didn't even notice how sore he was from being thrown.
"Now how'd y' do dat, chere?" he said softly.
"Ah accessed someone's super strength. Not important. Now are y' gonna help me or not?"
"Wit' what?" Remy moved to lean against the wall again.
"With figuring out what mah 'superiors' are hidin' from me?"
Gambit saw an opportunity, and took it. He slumped against the wall, "I ain't sure dat you're gonna want me t' help y' after y' hear what I have t' say."
"Why? Ya gonna tell me that ya really are tryin' ta take over the world?"
Remy shook his head. "Y' keep talkin' about de big generic stuff, chere. Dere are more personal crimes dat can be even worse."
Rogue stilled. She knew about personal crimes. Betrayal was a personal crime. Murder was a personal crime. She had been betrayed and she had murdered. She knew these crimes were just as important as the "big generic stuff," and that they hurt like hell. But they weren't her job--unless she came across something she could stop. Then her 'overdeveloped sense of justice' would inevitably kick in. "What are ya trying ta tell me, Swamp rat?"
His shoulders caved in even more, and he murmured something that she couldn't hear.
"What was that?"
Remy sighed and averted his eyes as they flickered and started to burn. "It's hard t' talk 'bout."
"Ah just spilt mah guts ta ya. If you've got something ya need ta say, say it. Ah told ya, Ah ain't in the judging business."
"Remy knows dat, chere. He knows dat for sure," he breathed.
The switch to third person alerted her, but she couldn't figure out what he was trying to trick her about.
"It's just," he shrugged, "Maybe y' could--I mean, so I wouldn't leave anyt'ing out--maybe ya could just take 'em?"
Rogue drew back, her eyes wide, "Ya askin' me ta touch ya, Cajun?"
He chuckled, "Mais oui, I t'ink I've been asking y' t' touch me since we met."
"But…"
"Please, chere. Y' need t' know. An' I don' t'ink I can tell ya."
She thought about insisting that he told her. Did she really want his dirty Cajun mind running around in hers all day? Well, it's not like ya don't think of him all the time anyway. An' at least in your mind ya can make him shut-up. An' he can't lie to ya this way.
She took a breath. "OK, Ah'll do it. Don't worry, it'll be quick."
"Merde, chere. You're actin' like you're gonna give Remy a shot! De way he sees it, ya can touch him as long as ya want." He threw her a careless sensual grin.
Rogue rolled her eyes and crawled over to him as he lay splayed against the opposite wall.
She stretched out her bare hand. "Ya sure ya don't want ta just tell me?"
Mais oui, chere. I just want ta be inside you anyway I can. You're already inside me, cherie. An' if this works the way I t'ink it will…it gives me a chance t' go about it de more traditional way.
"Remy's sure."
"And are ya sure?" she asked pointedly, her eyes narrowing.
Merde! I never realized my t'ird person was such a tell! Must be because I didn't start talkin' in first person til' she slammed me 'bout it.
"I'm sure," he said.
She still hesitated.
"I want ya t' do dis," he insisted.
"OK," she said.
Then she gently placed her hand on his cheek.
Rogue waited for the power transfer to start. Moments passed but nothing happened.
Nothing happened.
She snatched her hand back, "What the hell!"
Remy let out a low whistle. "Well, will y' look at dat," he said blandly.
Rogue stared at her hand, eyes wide. Then she touched his face again, longer this time. Still, nothing happened.
Nothing happened!
She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So this is what stubble feels like. This is touch.
Remy didn't think she'd look and feel so scared. He didn't know how he thought she'd react, but wide-eyed shock wasn't it. In an attempt to stir some life to her eyes--and hell, because he really wanted to--he turned his face so that he could brush a kiss against her naked palm.
Rogue shuddered. He felt fear from her still, but it was soon overwhelmed with pure pleasure. She closed her eyes, not moving her hand, not doing anything. This is touch.
Mon Dieu, her hand is soft. He fought against the urge to kiss it again. He just let his lips rest on her palm. If her hand is this soft, then what about the rest of her…
"Rogue," he murmured against her palm, his lips caressing it as he spoke. "Y' OK, chere?"
She shuddered again, and to his body's aching protest, she removed her hand. "Ah'm sorry. Ah didn't mean ta…"
He stripped off his glove in a moment and reclaimed her hand. "Non, chere! Didn't I tell ya, y' could touch me as long as y' wanted?"
She looked up at him, her eyes still wide. Touch. It's been ten years! God, thank ya! Ah can touch! Ah can touch Remy.
Merde, she's still in shock. "Rogue, are y' OK?" his voice was worried.
She looked at their bare hands sitting with their fingers intertwined. "Ah didn't do anythin' different. How is this possible?" she breathed. She looked up to him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Remy shrugged, "T'ink maybe ya were more right den y' t'ought about dat kinetic energy force field."
"Woah," she said. "No wonder Hank bought it."
Hank. He filed the name away. She must still be in shock.
She looked up at him with wonder and trust. "What do we do now?"
I can t'ink of a few things. Woah! Down, boy! De girl's in shock, d'ya wanna scare her away? D'ya wanna take her when she's not even sure what she's doing?
While he fought to control himself, she looked down at their hands again. "So…we're not really touching? This isn't…real?"
She's scared again. Guilty again, damnit!
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckle.
She raised her eyes to his again.
He kissed her knuckle again and nipped it gently.
She didn't blush, but she smiled. A real, true, and genuine face-splitting grin.
He returned the grin, "Feels like it t' me, chere. Sure feels like we're touching t' me."
She shook her head in a small, wondering motion and started to laugh.
Her laughter was music that made the heavens envious. It was light and air. It showered around them in golden notes and Remy knew that he would guard the innocence that let her laugh like that with his dying breath.
"Mon Dieu," he whispered. "You're so beautiful, chere."
Rogue blushed again, but she grinned, and sniffed back a few tears that had made their way out during her laughter. She raised the still gloved hand to wipe them away, but Remy caught it with his hand.
"Non," he said. "Let me."
Rogue bit her lip and nodded. He stuck his glove in his teeth and pulled it off. Then he lifted his bare hand and placed his palm on her cheek, using his thumb to gently wipe her tears away.
She shivered into his touch.
Once again, Remy stopped himself from kissing her. It's de little things she needs right now. Keep it light for now. Just wait. Ya can wait. Oh, her skin is so smooth, so soft…
He couldn't help himself. He ran his thumb across her full lips.
She shivered against it and--it seemed involuntary--pressed her lips to his thumb for a brief second.
Remy smiled and forced himself to remove his hand and sit back.
He let himself watch her, drinking in her beauty. Her eyes were opened. They were open, and they were letting him, and he was sinking into their emerald depths and slipping inside of her and he almost felt like he deserved it because he could touch her and he hadn't pushed her. And she was letting him in.
"Ah can touch ya," she whispered.
"Oui," and he grinned. She's une ange. A perfect ange.
She laughed again and shook her head. "Wow. Ah wasn't expecting that."
"So what do ya want t' do now?" he asked softly. Say ya want me t' kiss y'. Say it. Say ya want me t' touch ya. Say ya want me t' show ya what ya've been missing, what ya never have t' miss again.
Rogue blinked and looked away from his eyes.
He felt like the sun went out.
"Ah think…Ah think. Well, there are a few things we could do."
His ears perked up at the words 'we' and 'do,' but he had a sinking feeling that she was going to make him wait.
"Ah could actually try ta activate mah powers," she said. "Usually they're just on--but Ah've been working on making them more gentle for the sake of the people Ah absorb. So it doesn't hurt them as much, y'see. Ah figure Ah could probably absorb your force field if Ah really tried…or maybe ya could try an' lower it…but Ah don't really want t' do that. Maybe ya could just tell me what it was that ya wanted ta show me?"
She was making him wait.
He released her hand gently and shifted away from her.
She made a small noise of protest.
"What, did y' want t' hold my hand while I told m' story?" Remy mocked her gently.
"Yes!" she said and snatched it back.
He couldn't help but laugh at her; she was adorable when she was childish.
"Well, OK den. I'll let ya. An' I didn't even make ya sing," he smirked and ran his thumb along hers. So soft.
"Remy?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank ya."
"Pas un problème, chere."
"No, Ah mean, thank ya for lettin' me hold your hand. An' for not… Ah mean, it's just, Ah'm trying ta figure out what ta do. 'Cause just because ya can do something doesn't mean ya should do it, ya know? Please tell me ya understand."
He looked at her and pushed his empathy towards her. She was feeling elation, yes; pleasure, yes; lust, yes. But also concern--not for herself, but because she didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to hurt him! When was the last time someone had worried about that? And there, shimmering to the side, slowly coloring the rest of her emotions, was the beginning of true affection.
She doesn't want t' use me, he suddenly understood. She's been used so much herself, she doesn't want t' do it t' me. She t'inks dat she'd be taking advantage of me! Of me! He stared at her in shock. She's even more beautiful inside den she is outside. Tough as nails when it comes t' her work, but anything else…damn.
And for the first time in God knew how long, Remy LeBeau felt something stir in his heart. Something that wasn't lust, tolerance, amusement, or even affection. Something that looked and felt a lot like love. And for the very first time, he wasn't afraid of the feeling. Because she let him look into her soul and he knew that she didn't want to use him.
He suddenly thought about the story he was about to tell her. Mon Dieu, what if I lose her because of dis.
'Ah ain't in the business of makin' judgments.' Her voice floated up from memory. I'm gonna hold ya t' dat one, chere.
"I killed m' wife."
Translation: "Pas un problème, chere." "Not a problem, dear."
AN: In the words of Will Hunting: "How do you like them apples?"
Sorry for the cliffy folks, I just didn't want to sully this chapter with that woman's name. And before I get stones thrown at me for the lack of contact, first of all: I did warn you. Where? Chapter title. 'Almost Touching.' Almost. Secondly, my reasoning is this: Rogue's gone for ten years without knowing human touch. The slightest thing for her right now is sensory overload. The faintest brush of Remy's lips on her hand is doing more for her than a full kiss for an 'normal' girl. Remy, being Remy, knows this. So even though he wants a whole stinkin' lot more, he's giving her what she enjoys, what she needs. All together now: Aww. Plus, the girl's in shock. And Remy won't take advantage of her. Since when? Well, since he's spent the last who-knows-how-many-hours being steeped in her pain. He wants to take care of her. And if that means he has to go agonizingly slowly, he figures at least he's going.
Ugh, I really didn't like killing Kitty. But at least now you all know what happened. If you guys really want to know why Kitty left the X-men, I can write a little one-shot-type-thing for ya. But she never told Rogue the whole truth of it, and it's not like Rogue would tell Remy even if she did. She wouldn't think it was any of his business. Confession: I got slightly freaked out writing Mystique's death scene. Hope it didn't put too much of a damper on the Romy. Speaking of which…what did you think of my Romy?
Favorite line: In an attempt to stir some life to her eyes--and hell, because he really wanted to--he turned his face so that he could brush a kiss against her naked palm. Close second: "Oh goody," Rogue said flatly. "Now get off."
Review responses:
Wow, look at all the reviews! Coolness!
ishandahalf
Heh, heh, thank you for your review, it made me grin. Yeah, I don't know how Rogue is going to react when she finds out about Remy's empathy…it's a problem…I'm working on it…
Glad you liked the tweaking to her backstorey, I mean, I didn't want to mess with too much, but I had a slightly different direction I was heading with her mutation…as you can see by this chapter, I think. And I'm so glad you liked the charging of the roof, because I was struggling like forever trying to figure out a way to get in his anger and protectiveness without interrupting the story too much.
So…what do you think? Hope you liked how Remy finally figured it out. I've been curious about what you would think about this chapter since I wrote it months ago (well, I had the Romyness written months ago…just filled in all the hard flashback stuff today. Man, I wish I had saved some sweet writing for now, because I was somewhat overwhelmed.)
rubic-cube
Don't you feel psychic now? Enjoy!
WolvGambit Le Diable Blanc
Thank you. Here ya go!
Realtfarraige
I loved your review! Yes, I think Rogue probably did too…if she wasn't too nervous. Yeah, I know, Cody's mom…I went back and added that she came in and was speaking with Cody's voice, but it's still low and scary. I agree. I'm glad you liked my little 'tales of the Brotherhood Boys.' They were fun to write. Yes, now that we know Carol's promise, the secretisim is all the more suspicious. I, of course, have been suspicious from the beginning, but then again, I knew where this was going… (rolls eyes at herself) I'm glad you liked the roof-charge. I worked hard on getting something that would convey his anger and protectiveness without interrupting the story too much, and was so excited when I thought of that. Yeah, I hope he tells her sometime too. And now, he's in love!
So…what did you think?
helppuppie
Cool, I'm glad you liked 'em! Hope you liked this one too!
mucho like... cant really review rite now - lol, im printin da last 2 chapters so i can read on my way home.. but so far so greaT - love da plot!
enchantedlight
A review from you is like a stamp of approval on a chapter. Thank you. Hope you like this one too.
Roguechere
Sadly, we must wait for Bishop. But this is what happened to Kitty. What do you think? Hope it worked… Glad you liked the pulse thing, I did too.
Fingers905
Thank you much! Hope you enjoyed this one as well.
Sweety8587
Oh dear…pink…not good… Yeah, long story, I know. This is the "let's talk" part of the story. Soon it will be the "let's " part of the story…can't tell you what, of course, wouldn't want to give it away… You're right about Remy's emotions, I never thought of that…man, no wonder he charges the roof. So, what say you?
bored247
I know what you mean! Well, here ya go. What do you think?
Chica De Los Ojos Cafe
LOL, yes ma'am! Here ya go! Hope you liked!
Spicy Sweet
I can't really tell you what Carol is hiding, but you'll find out soonish. I'm glad you liked it. And now, though it's been (sorta) slow in coming, there is Romy. Hope you don't think it comes too fast, but I totally buy in the fact that Remy starts to love her after seeing so much of her. Anyways…enjoy!
Chained2aMask
Aww, thanks! Hope you liked this one too. I love this chapter, personally.
Kitsu Lebeau
How cool is that, that you read it at work! I mean, I guess I should feel bad for interrupting your work day…but I don't! I'm really glad it caught and held your attention! So…here ya go. Hope you enjoy!
pinkpunkmonkey
Thank you!
wrapped in banana foil
Lizbeth, totally understandable! Well, hope you enjoy this one when you get around to it! I love reading your reviews.
Le Rossignol de la Soiree
Well, I've finally decided on a name for Stolen Heart's Rogue…look for an update there sometime this weekend.
Yeah, it's in his best interests because 1. It's good for the Guild to find out what FORCE wants and 2. He gets to have more of a chance at being with/seducing our favorite Rogue. LOL, and true, he might have had some trouble walking…
I understand your point about Cody's mom, but my experience has led me to believe that people do not always react rationally when they're confronted with things that threaten what they love. Having your son's best friend coming back from the river--alone--talking in the same voice as your son and thinking that she is your son definitely falls in that category. I've run through several other scenarios in my mind that involve a not-beating…and they're all equally irrational except for the one where Mrs. Robbins calmly calls up Irene the first time. Which I don't see happening either. So… :shrug:
I don't mind at all you pointing out that I got into overdramatic dialogue. I tend to shudder when I read that stuff too. And I went back and edited it. The thing is though, people talk differently when they tell stories--writing a narrative told in dialogue has been more challenging than I thought it would be. But I appreciate your critique.
I'm glad you liked that line. I actually struggled with it quite a bit before I got it the way that I liked it. So good. :0)
I also love the Romy banter…as you can tell. Hope you enjoyed it here.
PS. Yeah, I like that name. Being with "Shira" my whole life has given me great…can't think of the right word right now…we're gonna go with sympathy for others with unique names. I'd love to hear the naming story sometime. I got mine through tradition and a dream.
IvyZoe
How cool are you, reviewing each and every chapter! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hope you enjoy this one as well.
Rogue151
I also wish I could have written Mystique nicer--with more of a heart--but for this story, I'm writing a lot of people in ways that I don't really like. So…yeah… Hope you enjoy this chapter, despite her gruesome death.
toxic-touch-727
Well, now you found out what happened to Kitty. Sad, isn't it? Made me sad, anyway…
Lol, actually, I don't know all that much. I'm just researching enough so that I can write this story half-way credibly.
Yeah, no Jean or Scott…they're not at all important here, it's not about them. Though they will be in Stolen Hearts.
I think you have to make the exploding pie yourself…just be careful that it doesn't go off in the oven!
Well, I'm really glad that you enjoyed the last chapter, hope that you liked this one too.
Lyrit Liltrick
Sorry work's wearin' ya out. It's summer! Go do something fun in the sun! (Maybe I should listen to my own advice…oh wait, I burn in the sun.) Stargate said that about Elizabeth Huxley? I don't remember that…and I thought I had seen all of them. Who said it, Jack? Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Eileen Blazer
You're probably going to kill me for the way I killed Kitty, aren't you. But at least now you know what I meant when Pete told Rogue that 'she did the necessary' back in chapter seven.
Your review made me so happy! I was thinking of holding out posting it until I had heard from you, (also because it was being very slippery to write), but then--hey--I didn't have to! I painted my room last summer, and I can understand…
Alias-esque is very cool, though I don't intend any extra suspicion with FORCE being so independent, I just wanted to make it clear that there wasn't really anyone Rogue could go to and say "Help! My team has been taken over by pod people!" An oversight on their part, really…
Heh, yes, the latex glove. Thank you for your restraint. Tryin' to keep it "T," and whatnot. ;0)
Aww, I'm glad you liked their interaction. And that you liked the blushing bit--for some reason, I could just see her doing that. So yeah, good. was I hope you like this bit too. Banter and sweetness and whatnot... Personally, I love it when Rogue says "Oh goody." in this chapter. She's just all the false niceness--get off me before I kill you--in the world. Anyhoo…
Not so much dull as…well…not memorable…I remember being somewhat bored…and then really excited at the end. I dunno, some parts were definitely cool, like how he had the painting copied and the dog bits… anyways, like a good little fan-girl, I went back and found where my inspiration sprung from in TFC--it's when Mystique is talking about what she did to her accountant.
So very glad that you loved it! That makes me happy even now, when I'm dead tired from typing this chapter and writing all the review responses. So…enjoy! I hope!